Friday, September 11, 2009
I was working for an import/export company at the time. Our office was right next to the very busy Austin/Bergstrom International Airport. It was my first real day at work (as opposed to just training). My boss was sitting next to me, we had just booted up my computer, the owner stepped from his office and said "someone just hit one of the Twin Towers with a plane". Then all the TVs came on and we saw it. I was sitting in a room full of strangers (I only had met my boss the week before) but we were one at the moment. My boss and I grabbed each others hands and held on for life as all the plane activity over us went silent and all we could hear were the news reports. It felt like everything was in slow motion. The owner told everyone to go home and be careful and to come back the following Monday. I drove home shaking and crying, as I'm sure so many others did. I saw peoples faces and how pale and scared everyone looked. I got home and just held my daughter so tight. She was young, only 9 years old at the time, and her school had shown the children the news footage so she had seen what happened. I tried to explain the best I could, but trying to explain something of that magnitude to a child was not easy and I'm not sure how good of a job I did, and we cried together and I held her. I had a dear friend who was in New York at the towers doing some survey work for some fountains they were going to put in. We didn't know if he was alive or dead. Thank God/Goddess we found out once communications were restored that he had finished up the evening before the attack and was not at the Towers that Tuesday morning so he was ok. In the following weeks people were kinder, quieter, nicer to one another. Strangers hugged and even cried together. There were knowing looks, hands being held, looks for quiet strength and encouragement and sympathy. People truly became neighbors of their fellow man. I will never understand why that behavior ever stopped.
This morning on the way to take Jordon to school, she and I heard "Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning" by Alan Jackson and we both admitted that the emotions and memories of that day are still very much alive in us. The day and memories still make me cry. Peoples voices become quieter and more somber when they speak of 9/11 and that's something I pray never changes. I have to admit that I have a stronger love now for my fellow man, but also a bitterness that just won't seem to go away.
May We Never Forget. May Peace Be With All Those Effected By This Horrible Day. May Those Who Lost Their Lives Have Peace In Death. May Those Who Lost Their Loved Ones Find Peace In Life.
Where were you, and what were you doing, the day the world stopped turning?
Monday, August 31, 2009
For the past 3 days I have been balled up on the couch in so much pain I can't even knit! I have severe endometriosis. It hasn't been too bad for a while. But it's making up for it right now! Even vicodin didn't kill the pain. Jordon keeps saying I should go to the doctor and get some pain meds, but I don't have the energy to go anywhere. I woke up at 3:45 this morning. I felt ok. I laid there a bit and decided at 4:30am to go ahead and get up. I felt pretty good too! No pain. Then about 10 minutes ago...BAM it's back. Now just sitting here at the PC typing has me about done in. I'm going to lay down...blah...ugh...
Monday, August 24, 2009
Hello All! How's everyone?
Well, today is Monday and it is the first day of school for Jordon. Which means daytime hours are once again available to focus on doing stuff I need to get done without distractions. And one of the things I need to get done is to focus on myself. I need to start doing more for myself. Taking care of myself. I have been thinking a lot lately about my weight, self esteem, most importantly, my health. All these things are related, I know that. But I have to stop focusing only on my weight. I know this probably sounds stupid, but I've been thinking about my clothes. I have hardly anything that actually fits comfortably in actual fit and in the way they look. It's no wonder I feel fat and disgusting when my jeans are tight enough to leave that lovely pink/red indention from being too tight and my shirts ride high enough that I don't feel I can move my arms without embarrassment. So this is something I need to change. I keep saying "I'll go clothes shopping once I lose weight", well that's just silly. Why keep myself down by being uncomfortable? Well, I'm going to start changing that. I can't afford to go down and buy a whole new wardrobe, but I can go get a pair of jeans or a shirt every couple of weeks. And in the mean time I can be working on the weight loss. Also, one of the reasons I don't work out at home is because I don't have clothes to workout in. Seriously! And I can't afford to go to the laundry mat every couple of days to wash sweaty work out clothes anyway. So, realistically I can't work out the way I want too at this given moment in time. But I WILL be able to soon I just know it. In the mean time I can focus on healthier eating choices. For instance I can start using the food tracker on here again to the best of my ability. This means that I have to work on not getting frustrated and giving up when I can't find the food I'm having on the tracker and can't figure out the nutritional information so I can add it. But instead I have to just remind myself that it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work perfectly and if I can't find every single thing on there! Another example is snacking. Snacking is, from all reports, a good nutritionally sound thing to do. BUT snacking on an entire (or even half a) can of Extreme Screamin Pickle Pringles is NOT a good choice for those snacks. I don't think cutting out the things we like completely is a good idea either since that is a huge reason that people are successful in losing weight. They feel cheated and defeated by being forced to cut out all the things they like right? So I have to start literally portioning out my Pringles and be sure to add it to my tracker since it has the nutritional information on the can. That way I can make adjustments where needed without feeling deprived of the things I enjoy. I also still want to incorporate vegan/vegetarian meals into my weekly meal plans. I just think it's a good idea, not because I'm all against eating meat cause I'm not, but because I think it'll help me reduce my weight and be better for my heart. But I do still have to have my nice juicy steak now and again! Does any of this make sense? I'd love to hear feedback on my thoughts here.
I hope you all have a great day!
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