Monday, April 27, 2009
Ok so I've been doing a lot of heavy thinking since my last post. I have to make some changes and bring some balance into my life. It won't be easy.
Of course there is the common sense stuff of making better food choices, cutting down on sweets and salty snacks, increasing my water intake, getting exercise, and so on. But there are also 2 things I'm adding.
1. I am committing right here, right now, in front of everyone that I WILL make the Lots to Lose Meetings whenever they are scheduled, usually twice a month. I WILL be open and honest and work hard to make this work for me!
2. This one is much much more difficult. I've thought long and hard about this. And to be honest the realization sucks rotten eggs!! But after years of begging for help from Crystal, and not getting it, I have had to consider how this is effecting my health both physically and mentally. I love her. There is no doubt. But I am not getting the support I need from this relationship and I've begged for it. As much as it hurts, this applies not only to my weight loss journey, but to other areas of my life with her as well. She is a wonderful person please don't get me wrong. I won't go into a lot of detail, but I have made the decision to ask for a separation so that I can get my head (and heart) in order. I'm hoping this will end well and we will come back together with a more supportive, nurturing and whole relationship, but I do feel this is the best choice for me right now. She isn't moving out just yet, there are still arrangements to make and everything. But we discussed this today and will be working through the emotions and coming up with a game plan... I hope anyway.
So... there ya have it. I'm going to go cry now. But honestly I think this is for the best. At least for now...