It looks like I am going to have to quit my job. I hope I'm wrong. I'll find out tomorrow for sure. See we have a room-mate that lives with us. His name is Scooter. I knew better than to trust him .. I really did! But, stupid me, I did it anyway!! See with Crystal moving to Louisiana in a couple weeks Scooter had assured me that he would be home with J at night so that I could continue to work. Well he tells me yesterday that he is moving out! So I'm jacked! I'm going to talk with my boss when I come in tomorrow night and see if she can possibly switch me to the day shift that I know is open right now. If she can then great!! I'll still have my job and can keep J here. If not, well then I have to turn in my notice, be out of a job, and be forced to move when Crystal does. Which means yanking J out of school and making her finish up her last two years in a different school. I'm so hating this right now. Please cross your fingers for me that my boss is able to let me slide over to this other shift.
I started using my tracker again today. Well...at least I have been since midnight. We will see how long it lasts. I'm going with the "Just For Today" way of thinking. And if I have enough of those "Just For Today" days, maybe it'll get me back on track!
Well I went to my doc again today. He did a blood pressure check. It was WAY high. I'm too danged young for high blood pressure darn it! But there it is! So he has put me on Maxalt for the migraines and propanolol for the high blood pressure. He will not treat the ADHD until the BP is under control. I'm too stressed, I work nights (I'm learning this is really unhealthy), I've overweight, and I don't get enough physical activity. This has GOT to change. So I'm going to re-evaluate my life and see where I can make changes to reduce my stress level. I'm adding in physical activity in various forms so I don't get bored. And eating healthy has moved into the top priorities! I know I'm stressed about Crystal moving, nothing I can do about that but move with her. And I can't do that right now. So no sense fretting over what I can't control. So we are going to see what I can control!
I do not expect miracles, but I do expect progress. I do NOT want to be on blood pressure medication at 35 years of age..or any age really. So this has to change.
He also showed me my MRI films today! TOO COOL! Kind of creepy too. He showed me the sinus that's inflamed. Weird looking! And he also showed me something that I'm not really ok with. He says I have a cyst in my brain. He said it was not dangerous and it's small. But still...A CYST? IN MY BRAIN? This does not make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! But it's something that may take care of itself, stay the same, or get bigger. This is the nature of such things. So we will be monitoring things. He is a fantastic doctor! I trust him and I know I'm in good hands. Again...as long as it's not the C word I can handle it!
The medication isn't giving me that happy happy joy joy feeling either. Actually I feel pretty yucky right now. But I'll live.
Ok..good news!!! The doctor said no tumors or masses, no cancer! WOOOO HOOOO!!!! I'm so relieved that I cried in the car! He found an swollen sinus in my frontal lobe. But he also can't explain the headaches I'm having. So testing will probably continue. I don't care though so long as it's not the big C word!
I actually slept a full 8 hours today! I couldn't believe it! I didn't wake up once!! I can't tell you how long it's been since that's happened. Well without the help of Xanax of course, did I tell you that I slept for almost a the entire weekend after my MRI? The Xanax they gave me before the test just knocked me for a BIG loop, anyway... I think that knowing my brain is ok if what did it for me today. I've been holding in all that stress for over a week so the release of that let me sleep. It was nice!
Thank you all for the positive thoughts and kind words. It has really helped. I still don't know what's going on to cause the headaches, but I'm hoping the worst of the scares are over. I'm sure we'll figure it out, hopefully soon so that we can make 'em stop...that would be nice. But thank you again for you support, positive thoughts, and kindness. You guys are the best!
But I'm concerned. With my EEG and anything else my Doc. has needed, he has just left it on my voice mail. "We got your EEG read and it came back normal"...so great!
But today I got a voice mail saying "Dr. Cain asked me to call. We need to discuss your MRI" I don't know why but the way this was said has me scared. I keep thinking, if it had been normal and ok they would have said so on the recording like they did with the other stuff. I didn't get the message until after I woke up today (stupid night shift!) and they were already closed. It was at 4pm. So I have been going all day with this weighing on my mind. I should be studying for a big quiz in Spanish tomorrow morning at 8am...but I can't concentrate. This blows. The worst part of anything like this is the waiting. Not only that, but my appointment to talk about it wasn't supposed to be until FEB. 29th! Why do they want to talk to me so soon? Man...my stomach is just in knots.
On a positive note, I bought beginners Yoga, Beginners T'ai Chi, and a Dance for Weight Loss DVDs today. Look forward to incorporating them into my life....somehow....
Well the EEG itself went ok. Getting hooked up to the machine was not fun though. Did you know they scrub parts of your head and face, and both your ear lobes, with liquid sandpaper? No really! They do! It doesn't feel good! Most of the test itself was fine. But at the end they do this strobe light thingy: while your eyes are closed they flash a strobe light at different intervals, in your eyes. At first it was ok. Then I got a raging headache and really nauseated. But then the test was over. So I it was all good. Then the REALLY bad part...getting un-hooked from that machine. The lady that did mine was sweet as punch but was NOT gentle. She took the ones off my face ok, yanked my earlobes off (or so it felt that way), and then...you'll love this!...then she grabbed ALL the rest of the wires and PULLED them all off my head at the same time!!!! I thought she was gonna pull me bald headed! Oh well...it's over now!