Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Ok so there have been some interesting, fun, scary, things going on in my world. I've been in the ER once with sinus tachycardia and a blood pressure of 210/183. They called it a stress reaction due to PTSD. Ok I can buy that under the circumstances. Then I have to call 911 again due to weird light headedness and shortness of breath. Looks like a vertigo issue brought on by allergies causing fluid in my ears. Ok. I'll buy that. Boils down to needing to go see a doctor and figure out exactly what is going on. FINE! I found myself a doctor. Not one in a clinic group. I hate clinic groups. I feel like nothing more than a number to be rushed in and rushed out. So I sought out, and found, a private doctor. I went to see him this morning. O-M-G HE SUCKED! He didn't even take a proper family history. Said he didn't need the details! He never once asked if I was a smoker!! Which I'm not but that isn't the point! He didn't ask about alcohol intake. He didn't ask about previous surgeries. He ASSUMED that my gall bladder was removed due to gall stones... WRONG! And he wouldn't listen when I was attempting to tell him why it was removed. He didn't ask about my migraines. He didn't care why kind of allergic reaction I have to compazine. It'll kill me if it's given to me but he didn't want to take the time to hear me. He didn't ask about my diet or weight or even mention that I needed to lose weight (ok that part isn't a bad thing in my opinion since I already know I do). He made me feel like I was wasting his time! Dr. George Martinez from Austin Texas. Not good! NOT GOOD!
Here is what I want. I want the small town doctor. The doctor who cares about you as a PERSON first and a payment later. A doctor who doesn't walk in with his Rx pad at the ready and a list of people to refer you to for other care. The doctor who takes his time and doesn't rush through anything. The doctor who says "How are you doing this morning?" and means it! Not just your illness or injury, but how YOU as a PERSON are doing. I want a doctor with cold hands who might just take the time to warm them up a bit before touching you and a warm heart. You do not necessarily need to be sick to go to a doctor. You may just want to get a clean bill of heath from a yearly check up. Or maybe you want to go in a discuss your current weight loss efforts with him and get his opinion on it. Or maybe you can't really describe what or how your feeling and need someone with a good bedside manner who can help you articulate what you are feeling. For instance, I have been experiencing symptoms of what might be called fibromyalgia. However, and please I beg you don't be offended, I never felt that to be a real illness. I'm not saying it isn't. I'm sure there are those who truly do have this and live full happy lives. BUT, Every single person I have ever had to deal with in a professional manner has used this diagnosis as a platform for laziness and a way to gain sympathy, a way to get out of living and doing things that must be done. Most of them don't have a single symptom other than being tired all the time and refuse to listen when I suggest it might be depression due to the situation they are in or whatever the case may be. Now I am faced with the real possibility that I may have it. I refuse to be like the people I've counseled who use it for other reasons. And I'm nervous to even discuss these symptoms with a doctor and it's very hard to articulate this to anyone. I want a doctor that will help me relay this without making me feel stupid or lazy or crazy. I want a doctor who remembers the Hippocratic Oath and understands what it REALLY means. I want a doctor who remembers the Human Factor of being a care giver...emphasis on the word CARE!... I do not want to feel like a cog in a machine or a number on some generic chart. I want to feel like a person.