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Re-prioritizing what's important

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I haven't been around at all the last 6 weeks or so.

I have so busy with work and such. I really don't even time to jump on while at work. I've been commuting to center city to work every day, which is a longer commute from my old office. My supervisors were nice enough to adjust my schedule so I can still work at my part time job at the library and that way I can take the train. (There's no parking in the lot of our building for me and it's cheaper to take the train.)

So, my new hours are 7:30 to 3:30. Every morning, I am now up at 4:30 to get in the shower before my husband, who needs to be in the shower at 4:50 and I am out of the house by 5:50 a.m. Monday, Thursday, and Friday nights, I am leave the office at 3:30 and I am home at 5:30. By the time I cook and clean up dinner, get my lunch ready and do one "chore" (to avoid doing it on my only day off), It's 9:00. On the nights I am at the library, I am off the train at 4:45, work at 5 and home by 10 PM.

So, I am looking at how to get all the things I want to get done done. I am trying to work in a walk 3 times a week and maybe a video 2 times a week. I am going to go back to paper tracking for now, since I can't really use the computer at work for personal stuff.

Slow process, but I'll get it done :)

I have been trying to be good with eating, but I plan on getting back on track with tracking what I eat.

How's everyone been?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNY712 9/14/2011 8:46AM

    You have a tough schedule! Love and prayers Jenny emoticon

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IRISHGIRL74 2/26/2011 9:22AM

    I may have to check them out. Thanks

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RJBINKLEY 2/23/2011 8:18PM

    I will keep my ears open. Have you tried Genesis Healthcare in Kennett? My daughter works there and says they have been hiring.

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IRISHGIRL74 2/23/2011 7:32PM

    Thanks!! I have been looking for Executive Assistant jobs in the Chester County area. Yeah, I hear you RJBINKLEY . . . trying to keep the bills paid and put myself first is something I've been struggling with!

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RJBINKLEY 2/22/2011 1:27PM

    It sounds like you are very organized, but what a schedule! What I will tell you from my experience is that you have to make yourself a priority, at least some of the time. I made the mistake of being a workaholic for many years, and it is one of the reasons I am where I am now. Of course, I happen to be in real estate, and with the slower market, I've had more time on my hands (less money too). I know this much, I won't go back to that schedule every again, no matter what. I think if the market hadn't forced me to slow down, my schedule would have eventually killed me. What is your job in center city? Maybe some of the rest of us can keep an ear out for something closer for you. Can't hurt to network! emoticon emoticon

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IRISHGIRL74 2/20/2011 8:50PM

    Thanks ladies. Yeah, it's been tough, but I NEED to get myself moving. I appricate the support. I'm hoping to get a video done tomorrow for my work out. Wish me luck!

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POINTAFTER 2/20/2011 1:58PM

    I believe most, if not all, women struggle with time management. We're expected to always put others first, and made to feel guilty when we don't. But we have to take care of ourselves to be able to take care of others. It's a Catch 22.

It will be hard, and you'll have to make some tough decisions, but you'll find a way to re-arrange your schedule so you can put yourself first from time to time.

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DIFROMWYOMING 2/19/2011 9:52PM

    Good to see you! Seems like you sure have a full schedule and boy, those early mornings! I hope you can find a way to get extra time for you during your days.

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JESSICA1999PA 2/19/2011 6:09PM

    Good to see you back on track!! I started using the "I don't have time" excuse but I gave up on it...if I have to go to bed 5 minutes later to get on here and log my stuff in, then I lose 5 minutes of sleep. There are NO EXCUSES for not getting healthy!! We've missed you!


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IRISHGIRL74 2/19/2011 2:44PM

    Thanks ladies. Lisa, I just started that job in Philly. I've been trying to find another full time job for the past year and half with no luck at all. boo. I need both jobs to survive. :(

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INKYINPA 2/19/2011 12:42PM

    Wow! You sure are 1 busy woman! Maybe it's time to try to find a new job closer to home? Have you ever sat down and calculated if the job in center city is WORTH IT? All the travel time and such? Sometimes the cost both $$ wise and time wise isn't worth it. My prayers are with you as you figure all this out. HUGS and HONK! HONK! HONK!!


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CATHYJR73 2/19/2011 10:14AM

    Sounds like you have a great plan to try and at least track your food. Glad to see you back amongst us. I will pray for you to find the time you need to get to take care of yourself!! emoticon emoticon

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Need to vent!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Ok, I need to post this . . . my apologies to my Chester Count friends for repeating it. I need to get it off my chest!!!

I'm sooo stressed. Actually, I'm annoyed - but I was angry!

I was 15 minutes late to work today due to the weather and traffic. Well, the boss called my cell phone when I was 5 minutes from work. I didn't answer b/c I was that close to work and I don't like to talk on the phone when I'm driving. My boss called back at the office a minute or so after I got there (he wasn't there, obviously,) and was wondering why no one was there at 8:30 to answer the phones and I why I didn't answer my cell. Well, I guess he didn't like my calm answer of getting stuck in traffic and I didn't answer the cell b/c I don't like to use it when driving and keep it turned off, plus of a strict cell phone budget. He started harping on unlimited cell phone plans and why don't I use my cell phone. When I told him I wasn't discussing my cell phone plan or my financials with him and asked him "what's up?" (as in "how can I help you?"), he wanted to know why I had an attitude. I explained that I didn't have an attitude with him. I was running late due to the traffic/weather, wasn't sure if I had my phone on me, and was not going to discuss my finances/cell phone plans with him, thanks for the advice. Surely, he needed help with something urgently since he called the office and my cell. He just mentioned that someone should be there at 8:30. urggg. I am always on time. WTH?????

I don't think he's going to be in today, which is a good thing. But, I am always prompt, on time and pleasant. Just because I disagree with you, doesn't mean I have an attitude.

so, thanks for letting me vent. I needed to get this off my chest, so I don't go and eat my stress away.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IRISHGIRL74 9/14/2011 9:03AM

    Thanks Linda. No, my old boss was like that all the time. Most of the times, I let it rub off, that day, it just irked me enough to vent. That was last year, and my boss (who was with a consulting firm my company hired) is now on another project. Thanks for the support.

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JENNY712 9/14/2011 8:39AM

    HUGS! I will share something that happened to me. I was in the laundry mat. A lady was giving me a very hard time over nothing. Later I sit done by her and asked her kindly how she was doing. She had not been a widow long; they had been married 61 years and she was fixing to go into hospital for a major surgery. She was getting some last things done, before going into hospital. She missed her Hubby and was unsure of her near future. We talked and prayed together. She asked me to forgive her. I did. Sometimes we are not the problem but the person does not even know why they are upset and well they take it out on someone who is well handy. Maybe he was having one of those hard days. That is no excuse for his actions but maybe a help for you! HUGS! I care! Love and prayers Jenny

Comment edited on: 9/14/2011 8:42:31 AM

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IRISHGIRL74 11/2/2010 9:28AM

    Thank you ladies! It still irates me, but I'll get over it. I don't get paid enough to be on call 24/7 lol.

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POINTAFTER 11/1/2010 12:21PM

    I agree with the others. If it's a personal cell, he is actually PRIVILEGED to have the number. I can't believe he fussed at you about YOUR cell phone plan.

And vent away. I do! No good to keep it all bottled up. emoticon

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MAGIK0731 10/28/2010 9:40AM

    Go ahead an vent! I think by the time I commented on this blog, you were feeling better and I am happy to hear that.

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IRISHGIRL74 10/27/2010 6:15PM

    Thank you ladies. I was so annoyed. It felt good to get it off my chest! Hope you all have a great night!

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KEEKEE1ST 10/27/2010 11:42AM

    Vent away! I agree, your finaces/cell phone plan is none of his business. If he wants you at his beck and call, tell him to flip the bill for a work cell phone and handsfree device! See how he goes for that one.
p.s. I don't answer my cell when driving, its against the law in NY. It also irritates my husband and kids... Oh well!

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FUNFANATIC 10/27/2010 10:40AM

  Venting helps so vent away!:)

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YICHE12 10/27/2010 10:27AM

    Hey sweetie, we're here for you... One day, you may be there for me to vent out also. emoticon

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Victory of Trials?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ok, today's Daily Reflection could not come at a better time. It's really making me think. It talks about how the need to weather hard times is constantly part of our lives and do we ever think of these hurdles in a positive light? I try, but I think my optimism is running low. I don't know what it is, but work is stressing me out, finances is stressing me out and I am struggling with the smallest of weight loss habits I thought I conquered. I've been in worse situations and I'm trying to be proactive in finding a better a paying job and remembering that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

Thanks for letting me remind myself that I can do this!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IRISHGIRL74 3/10/2010 8:15PM

    Thanks ladies. I've feel like i've been on the same treadmill and can't get off. I appreciate the support :)

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SUNROSE1 3/9/2010 11:55AM

    Think of the saying: the bumps in the road of life are what we climb on. Hang in there. It's an uphill road, sometimes.


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IRISHGIRL74 2/21/2010 10:34AM

    Thanks for the reminder and support Tammie! I needed that!

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TAMMIE1006 2/19/2010 8:57AM

    i completely understand how you almost seems like it never gets any better and you just keep waiting for that to happen - but just think, you're in your own house now and can be completely comfortable there, that has to be a positive feeling for you! start thinking of the things that are going right - it's great that you HAVE a job right now when so many don't - when i got my job back in december after being unemployed for 10 months, it was one of the most positive things for me lately. so concentrate on the positive - write them down if you need to - things will start looking up right away!!

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trying to form new habits

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Trying to form good habits this year. I got away from tracking, drinking my water, and I really want to start working out again. I'm starting off slow, but plan on tracking my food and water on a daily basis. Now that this week will have me back on a normal work schedule, I plan on start doing a walking video a couple of times a week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IRISHGIRL74 1/15/2010 8:55AM

    ELCIa, baby steps is the only way I can handle it right now, lol!

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ELCIA_S 1/14/2010 9:44AM

    thats a great idea. I used to set a lot of goals for myself then break them one by one. This time I'm taking baby steps

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DMBEECHAM 1/12/2010 4:33PM

    Building new habits is always best on an incremental basis. Way to start small! emoticon

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IRISHGIRL74 1/10/2010 5:01PM

    Thank you everyone. One step at a time is the only way I can do it now a days. Thanks for the encouragement!

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WADEJUNEBUG63 1/10/2010 4:54PM

  I read that it only takes 21 days of doing any new thing for adults to make it a habit. So maybe choosing one new healthy habit a month , like drinking 8 glasses of water a day would work. Good Luck I am rooting for you

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GINGER_LOSTALOT 1/10/2010 4:04PM

    Good for you!

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DIFROMWYOMING 1/10/2010 12:41PM

    Good plan! emoticon

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CNTRYMUM2 1/10/2010 10:27AM

    I'm right there with you...I too am taking one step, one small goal at a time. Jumping in with both feet doesn't work anymore. It's time to use common sense and to stick with the plan.

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TAMMIE1006 1/10/2010 8:23AM

    just do as much as you can when you can to start the good habits - after a while it will catch on and seem second nature....good luck sweetie!!

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RIPPEDPAUL1 1/10/2010 8:22AM

    Like awareness training, when you notice you're off, just get back on and try to leave judgement for later.

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CMORISAK 1/10/2010 8:12AM

    One day at a time, one habit at a time. You will be successful.

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TBUSH0919 1/10/2010 8:02AM

    Thanks, good comment

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Standing up for myself in the workplace . . . .how do I do it?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I've kinda started this blog in a sparkmail to one of my sparkbuddies, so I hope she understands if I'm repeating myself. I just need to vent.

I'm tired and frustrated. I really need to whine.

I started this job back in October. I have been questioning my decision to move over to the new job for a while now.

I guess my problem is that I need to learn how to stand up for myself. I can not let this job, or more specifically, this boss, make me feel bad about myself. I take everything personally. I'm the first to admit it. But, when I hear others making comments to me about this boss being a "jackass" or "the devil", I know it is not me. (And no, I do not express my feelings about my boss to others. They volunteer their opinions to me.)

I'm struggling with feelings about this job . . .it's making me feel bad and I'm so trying to stay away from my old comforts (eating junk, vegging out) and going for good things to feel better. Venting is one of them (thanks for listening!) I'm starting to make a work out routine to help too. That is, if I don't have to work late, unpaid, that is.

I feel like I need to stand up to my boss and tell him to stop being so mean and degrading (okay, I sound like a 10 year old, but that's what he is~he had my coworker in tears yesterday!)

But, I don't want to lose my job either. I'm never good at standing up for myself. It's one of the reasons the why I weigh so much. I've eaten so much to make myself feel better, but wound up abusing my body.

How do I stop feeling this way? How do I stand up for myself????? How do I not go home and cry and eat and taking it out on my dh?

I think to myself that I didn't go to school for this. I think I have to go back to school and get my masters.

Okay, now I am rambling. Thanks for listening and letting me get a bit of this off my chest. I know that here, no one knows my boss or will rat me out, lol.

Well, back to the job I really do like!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROL_ 7/29/2009 1:17AM

    And anytime it is necessary to go to HR, then do it, but as you go, don't be naieve about it; instead know that that's the beginning of the end of your job, whether it's sooner or later. Have your resume ready and up to date, and have job plan B and job plan C lined up and ready to move. Unless he's doing something that is causing the company a liability because they might be sued because it's illegal, you won't get any satisfaction from HR. But you can double darn guarantee it WILL be in YOUR employment file, even if he is doing something illegal. If you can't manage your relationship with him on your own, which is not your fault - you can't argue with a sick mind, right? - if you can't manage your relationship with him on your own, and have to go to HR, then that's the beginning of the end, so be proactive about it, not like an ostrich hoping "going to HR" will help anything, or solve anything, because the truth is 180 degrees in the other direction.

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CAROL_ 7/29/2009 1:08AM

    I've had horrible bosses before. I think, like me, you recognize there is some kind of unhealthy dynamic going on here that you are (unwillingly) participating in or being drawn into, or are susceptible to, however you want to put it and with whatever words you want to use.

I recommend counseling. You can't change the bosses but you can change whatever it is that is an open door in you that is making you susceptible to it. You can't change him, but you can change you. I'm glad approaching the boss has helped other people, but what I read about that sounded like a miracle to me that is not how it goes in 99% of cases, and it had disastrous results with me so I can't recommend it.

This is a frequent problem that counselors are familiar with and know how to help you sort through, get to the bottom of, provide coping techniques for, and stop the weird dynamic going on, at least on YOUR part. I found my reactions and responses were feeding into it; and when I "faked it til I make it" and tried to show no response at all, pretend the jerks weren't getting to me etc and have positive mental attitude, then I suffered internally, was passive agressive, stuffed my anger which led to depression, overate, etc. None of those things, going on inside of me, helped the job situation but only made it worse. You can't fake it. It's in the air around you, how you really feel, even if you try to hide it.

I didn't do anything wrong; NOTHING; had and still have excellent work ethic; but I was still able to work on the part of the equation that I was a factor in. Mine came from dysfunctional family with injustice and tyrannical parents.

When he has you in knots emotionally, stop, breathe, step back mentally, and ask yourself: what in my past does this remind me of, feel like, or is similar to?

If you don't have money for counseling go to University near you. They have to counsel for so many hours before they can graduate. The counseling is supervised so you get good advice. Call and ask for their psychological counseling dept, and make an appointment.

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L8AGAIN 7/23/2009 2:09PM

  What an awful situation to have to deal with. I would suggest talking to your boss first if you think it would get you anywhere. He needs to know, and I bet he doesn't, how he is coming across. Give him specifics of what he has done, how it made you feel, and give him alternate ways of conducting himself that would be more acceptable to you. We lost half of our staff once because of an abrasive supervisor. When I approached her after the last employee left, she was astounded and horrified that her behavior had cost our unit so much. She had no idea, was grateful I had spoken with her, called a meeting to apologize the remaining staff, and changed her behavior immediately. At the core, she was a good manager.

Your boss may not be a good manager and may be an SOB at heart. If this is the case, Brigith is right, talking to him will have no effect on his behavior and might even make your situation more difficult. If this is the case, go straight to HR or his boss. Explain the situation and be specific, giving examples of his less than professional behavior.

Either way you are taking a risk and must be ready to face negative repercussions from your taking action. Sounds like it might be worth the risk. No one person should be allowed to have such a detrimental effect on a work place. Whatever you do, stick to your guns and don't get pulled into badmouthing you boss with other employees. You don't want to be a contributor to a bad environment.

Good luck.

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INKAGOAL2012 7/23/2009 11:50AM

    I have been through 2 toxic workplaces. Follow your inner voice- deep down you know whether the workplace can be changed or not and that is your answer on what to do. Shedding a toxic work environment is like a great weight lifted from you and well worth the effort (which ever route you take) Good Luck!

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BRIGITH 7/23/2009 8:18AM

    I agree with JCCANN. Take it to the HR Department. Feeling like this about your workplace is not pleasant. You spend 8 hours a day there and while it is work, that doesn't mean it has to be dreaded.

I'm inclined to think that you standing up to him directly won't change anything, other than maybe make you feel like you've got something off your chest.

Unfortunately unpleasant people are a part of life. Learning to deal with them is a skill that I'm sure you will benefit from.

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JEFFCANN 7/22/2009 10:54PM

    I am sorry that you are frustrated and being victimized by your boss. It's not fair and totally unacceptable.

Yes, you can quit and find another job. You can also take a stand for yourself and the principle of treating people with respect.

If the company has an Human Resources [HR] department or person, I suggest you speak with that person. If you boss has a habit of verbal abuse, he probably won't change unless he has a reason to do so.

If you don't have an HR department, you should speak directly to your boss's boss. Most people who are good leaders will not tolerate one of their managers treating people with disrespect.

If the HR or boss's boss do not listen to your complaints and take appropriate action, then you are working in a toxic environment and you should move on and take this as a lesson learned.

Sometimes, the abusive person is not completely aware of their impact on other people. Your boss may have a terrible home life or a problem with addiction, guilt, shame, whatever. He's human just like the rest of us. The problem is that he is allowing his own negative feelings to drive the way he treats you and others.

He behavior is not acceptable under ANY circumstances and is actually could be illegal in most states under the laws of hostile work environment. Most companies have an HR policy against this type of behavior to prevent the owners of the company from being sued by mistreated [ex] employees.

Unfortunately, many people who act this way have serious issues in inside there head, mostly driven by their egos / them reasons to justify hurting others.

I had to fire an employee last week who would not stop berating her coworkers and team members. She would SCREAM at people...We gave her a written warning and she stopped for a while. Then her behavior started again. When we fired her, no one was upset because her attitude was toxic and it negatively impacted everyone she worked with.

All she could say in the firing meeting was "I am shocked." It shows how little she understood that her words, actions, and attitude really hurt people. It was sad and shows that sometimes, despite our best efforts, some people have no clue.

Good luck and be strong!

Comment edited on: 7/22/2009 10:57:41 PM

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.DUSTY. 7/22/2009 9:55PM

    Maybe now's the time to start looking for a new job. Even if you have to take a cut in pay your health (weight loss), YOU, need to come first. This is no way to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Is it really worth it? If he's really that bad talking to him won't do any good.

If you work at a very large company can he be reported? Lodge a complaint?

Hang in there hon!

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ZOMMBIE1 7/22/2009 9:24PM

    I really don't have any answers for you but I wanted to give you a hug


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