Thursday, December 15, 2011
Ok so yesterday sucked... big... I'm just sayin'
I wish my EX would find a hole and just fall in it for eternity. Seriously. He doesn't have to DIE - he just needs to be stuck in that hole away from all humanity so he can't do any more damage.
I wish I wasn't an emotional eater (more on this later)
I SO WISH I HADN'T SNUCK A PEAK AT MY SCALE (cuz I was EXCITED to be at 200 on Monday) and seen 203.
What the H*LL? 203?!?!?!?!
Yeah, before you all say "weight fluctuates", or "water might be the problem - look at how much you are drinking" or - *insert whatever helpful reason you want to give me* - know this:
Bottom line is that it sucked. I shouldn't have looked.
Logically I know it's crap. I can reason it away in many forms - you had too much sodium, you need less/more water, you are pushing towards a weight loss, WHATEVER.
Psychologically it's playing a number on my head - big time. To the point that I blew my day's calories in a self-wallowing visit to McDonald's this morning.
The plan was - get a fruit/walnut salad - I love these, BTW. And I had planned for this. One little splurge today (because I vowed I wouldn't deprive myself this season).
The reality was - bacon, egg, cheese biscuit, greasy hashbrowns, and large OJ
(side note: My stomach is GOING to make me pay - it's already protesting)
I KNEW I shouldn't go there after the weigh in. But I THOUGHT I could just follow my plan because I'm so determined.. and I have a PLAN! and I'm WORKING MY PLAN! I am invincible, RIGHT?
WRONG! - pffttt... I KNOW better than to set myself up for failure. But I did it anyway.
Yes, I know that I'm beating myself up. This is how I process things. I get them out, and knock 'em down. I will get over it (eventually- maybe even within the hour if I'm lucky).
But RIGHT NOW - I am at 1065 calories and it's not even 10am here. Hmmm... Irish, don't think you are gonna make calorie goal today!
*** wallow wallow wallow***
SO... deep breath - what did I learn?
I learned that I am not as "stable" as I thought I was. Why even go to McDonald's as planned for a "treat" when I knew I was vulnerable? Just pick a new destination. Or go to work and get your oatmeal. UGHHH. Your "tools" aren't helpful if you don't pick them up and use them.
NEW PLAN FOR THE DAY:
Ok so I blew the morning. No need to write off the day. So I won't hit my calories goal. Ok - I can still get my 14 glasses of water. I can still exercise- today is my 5K treadmill, as scheduled. I still need to meet my Countdown to Christmas goals.
And I will. And I will log every damn calorie today. Such as the college holiday luncheon (which I ordered a Veggie entree BTW). And I will probably eat a salad for dinner instead of the stuffed steak I have planned. My family will enjoy the steak. I will enjoy my salad. Because I am choosing to do so.
If you've stuck with me this far in the rant - thank you for your support.
Moving forward here - still doing whatever it takes - and never ever quitting!
*stubbornly planning to work, and stubbornly working my plan*
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Countdown to Christmas Plan
Recap of Day (Dec 12th) -
1. Exercise every day for the next 25 days. Minimum of 10 mins a day.
DONE -30 minutes
Workout with trainer (last one!)
2. Eat within the low range of my calories AND make smart choices for those calories. I plan to stay within 1200-1300.
NOPE Calories =1441- I'm pretty sure it's ok with my activity today - but still I'm disappointed.
3. Drink a minimum of FOURTEEN 8oz glasses of water a day.
DONE - 14 glasses! Still struggling but I got it done
4. Find 10 minutes for ME every day.
5. Find ONE nice thing to do/say to ONE person every day.
6. Be accountable to my plan and post here each day until Christmas.
DONE- this blog has been posted
MONDAY WEIGH IN - 200!
Things I learned on Day 12:
WATER, WATER, WATER is STILL a love/hate relationship. (disclaimer/note - some have questioned my water goal - this amount was set by my doctor for my activity level)
Calories are a bit higher than I would like- but still below the recommended amount.
BONUS FEATURES (lol)
Today was my last day with Trainer #5. I am going to have to be more accountable to myself now - no trainer until mid January. I have been through this before, and I'm ready. I have a plan! - Continue with ballroom dancing, continue with strength training on my own, and swim when my daughter has swim team. Hit the treadmill 2x a week - and I will do a 5K on the treadmill at least 1x a week (I've already been doing this). If all this fails me on any given day, (i.e LIFE interrupts the plan for the day) I vow to get my butt up and go out for a walk and/or do my sit-ups, push-ups, and jumping jacks in the house. NO EXCUSES - 10 minutes minimum a day. Period.
RESULTS WITH TRAINER #5 (2 1/2 months)
Starting weight - 205
Ending weight - 200
Starting Body Fat 42.6
Ending Body Fat 41.8
Starting BMI 34.4
Ending BMI 34.3
Starting Bust - 45
Ending Bust - 43
Starting Waist - 38
Ending Waist - 37.5
Starting Hips - 46
Ending Hips - 44.5
Thighs remained the same at 24"
I vowed when I started the countdown I wouldn't deprive myself - and I haven't- I have indulged in holiday goodies (just not GORGED in holiday goodies) and I have planned for them. The difference being I have planned.
I'm pretty sure I will make it to Onederland before Christmas (barring any craziness). However, even if I do, I plan to finish this challenge and see how low I get by Christmas day.
I'm DONE with SIXTY pounds - I am so dang proud-- Sususuzzzie was right - I was grinning from ear to ear today after I weighed in. I hadn't "sneak weighed" at all - I truly just wanted it to be a surprise... and it was!
13 more days and counting... Onederland here I come!
Thanks for your support!
*plan to work and work your plan*
Get An Email Alert Each Time IRISHBEANERGAL Posts