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Things don't always go as planned ~

Monday, December 31, 2012

~ and that is why I haven't posted for awhile. I just couldn't decide what to say. How to explain why I haven't been 100% on track lately.

Someone close to me, who didn't mean to, and didn't know they did ~ really hurt my feelings on Christmas day. I acted like nothing happened and eventually got over it but it affected me pretty bad. So, even though I don't consider myself an emotional eater, I finally found 'the one' emotion that will cause me not to eat properly, not track, eat things I shouldn't, to sum it up ~ to just not care. So, things have not been great with my program for the last few days.

I am pretty much back on track today and will do even better tomorrow. I'm pretty upset with myself for letting this happen, although I do understand why it happened so I'm trying to cut myself some slack. The bottom line is ~ it happened, now let's get back on track and forget it. There is nothing I can do about it now except move on. So, that is what I will be doing. It may take a few days to undo anything bad that might have happened ~ so I'm not weighing for a few days. I will be following my food plan and exercising, however. And straighten out my thinking and get my positive attitude back. These things happen and we (I) have to learn how to go with the flow and not let it destroy me.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMARIES51 1/1/2013 1:40AM

    Emotional eating is just so.... emotional. Gosh, I wish there was a magic pill that could take away those feelings sometimes. Well, I suppose they have them, but we probably wouldn't want to take them.

I have not been on track the past couple of weeks either, so it will be good to get back into a regular routine.

Hope you have an awesome New Year. Joann

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GRATEFUL_BEING 12/31/2012 10:58PM

  I'm sorry someone hurt you. I'm glad your back. May your New Year be filled with many blessings you deserve the best.

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SUNDIAL61 12/31/2012 4:47PM

    So sorry that this happened to you. Glad you're back on track. You should be proud that you recognized that you were eating out of emotion and that you stopped yourself when you did.

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CELIAMINER 12/31/2012 10:14AM

    Glad you are back! I understand what you have been going through because I've been there, so vent away safely in this team. Also, living well is the best revenge!

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RG_DFW 12/31/2012 2:15AM


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NANCYPAT1 12/31/2012 12:33AM

    Welcome back and keep in mind that what others say and do are not what makes something true. If someone hurt your feelings - it is THEIR problem and NOT a reflection of YOU. You can get your positive attitude back - sometimes those closest to us don't realize how hurtful their words can be - especially the ones said in that half-joking manner so, like how can you be mad at me, I was JUST JOKING - NOT!

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Psyched up for Christmas ~

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Yesterday, when I stepped on the scale, it read 200.0, today it reads 200.4, which is fine because I know it will find its way back down.

I could not wish for a more wonderful Christmas present. I believe that by Christmas day, I will be below 200 by even a small amount. I have not been below 200 for 20 years. WooHoo! Nothing can stop me now! My very first goal has been reached. From here on in, its all gravy. (maybe not a good choice of word lol

When I got below 200, I told myself a few things would happen. I am going to try not to weigh myself so often. I want to keep losing weight but the 'urgency' is gone. It will motivate me to keep striving and working my SP program to the best of my ability. I don't know if I will adhere perfectly to those rules but I will do my best.

I am set for, and looking forward to, Christmas. I have left a lot of things off my shopping list, that I have bought in past years. Chocolate and candy only for the kids' stockings. Very few cookies and treats. Lots of Christmas oranges. One pie and one small cheesecake for Christmas dinner.

I do plan to eat everything I want for dinner. Including stuffing and cranberries, which are actually my favorite part of the entire dinner. I have figured out my maintenance calories, which was not easy, and will be on maintenance only on Christmas day. Before, and after, its business as usual.

If ~ and the chances are not good ~ but 'if' I slip up, I will not beat myself up over it. I will just carry on.

I feel confident ~ but not complacent ~ that this will be a wonderful Christmas, regarding food. I will do my best to 'behave' and my best is all anyone can do.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMARTIN77 12/23/2012 12:36PM

    Congrats! That's such a great Christmas gift to give to yourself and a great way to start the New Year.

That's a great tip about maintenance calories. I'll bear that in mind when the time comes.

Have a great holiday with your loved ones!

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KATIEEMMA5 12/23/2012 9:51AM

    Congratulations on reaching 200lbs that's awesome!!!

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CSAGIRL 12/23/2012 9:48AM

    Yay for you! emoticon You have just the right attitude, and you have given yourself such a wonderful Christmas present!

Savor those cranberries emoticon


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KADYSMOM11 12/22/2012 3:42PM

    You have a great attitude! You can do it Congrats on reaching your first goal! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TXMEMAW6 12/22/2012 3:40PM

    WooHoo!!! Congrats on reaching a Christmas goal. I just know you will make it. Such a sensible approach to Christmas dinner...maintenance all the way. Good for you. I am hoping and praying that some day I will reach Onederland with you. Keep on keeping on and you will succeed!!

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IOWAGRAMMA 12/22/2012 3:01PM

    Onederland is right around the corner for you!! emoticonSuch a great feeling when you make it and it will happen soon. Re: the weighing so often...I admit, I do a WI every day, as I look at it as just one more thing to monitor instead of as a "reward" for doing well or a "smack" for doing poorly. Just my approach, and there are many pros and cons to whatever we choose. Great plan to figure out maintenance calories and use that as your goal for the day!!

Thanks so much for my wonderful Christmas gift! It is filled with all my hopes and dreams for 2013, as well as the motivation you put in it for me! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Love, Jeannie

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RG_DFW 12/22/2012 1:06PM

    Once in a while will not derail the train as long as the indulgence does not become the habit. You're doing great

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KARBIE18 12/22/2012 12:44PM

    Love your plan to maintain. Such a common-sense approach. I don't know about you, but, for me, this is for life. It would be wrong NOT to be able to enjoy holiday meals. Congratulations on meeting that goal, and keep on kicking butt. You rock!

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JMARIES51 12/22/2012 12:38PM

    Sounds like you are on a good roll. You plan sounds great and emoticon on reaching your goal. What a fantastic emoticon emoticon

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FITNESSWALKER63 12/22/2012 12:11PM

    Just the right sentiments! Thanks emoticon

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Program changes are NO excuse to misbehave ~

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Last night, after everyone was in bed, I was in my room watching TV and I got very hungry. I guess it is likely because I had a salad for dinner and wasn't full ~ it happens. But, I don't like being hungry ~ so I decided to make a couple of slices of raisin bread toast with light butter. Yes, this put me 'over' in calories for the day.

I decided to go with 'maintenance' calories, even though I am not certain what amount of calories that is. I did get an approximation on-line but don't know where SP is hiding their calculator. ;) Anyway ~ I did know for certain how much I COULD get away with. So, I ate my toast and felt considerably better.

But, my mind is out to get me, so it wasn't long after that I thought "I've blown it for today so I might as well have some cookies and start fresh tomorrow." I walked into the kitchen, opened the cupboard door and took the cookies down ~ at that moment common sense took over. I said "No" out loud, put the package back and closed the cupboard door. As I went back to my TV program, I realized how close I had come to making a bad mistake. Thank God, I had come to my senses. Who knew what I might have told myself next if I'd eaten the cookies?

This is very NEW behavior for me. In the past, that is exactly how I stayed fat. I would listen to the itty-bitty committee of idiots in my head telling me how I "might as well" do this or that because I had "blown" it already. And, I would be off and running, or rather eating.

Thanks to Spark People and my Spark Friends, I do not have to do that any more. I know a lot more than I did then. I have support and all kinds of tools to work with at SP. Plus, I am NOT a loser ~ and I know that one mistake does not equal failure. Besides, I really didn't do anything wrong. So what if I didn't lose yesterday ~ I didn't gain either. And that is what is important. I, also, fed myself when I was hungry ~ and if I had it to do over, I'd do the same.

So 'changes' in program are NOT an excuse for me to do something that I will be sorry for down the line! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMARTIN77 12/23/2012 1:16PM

    Good job! It's a major accomplishment when we firmly say NO, even if we slipped up a little. This is a new behavior for me, too. But each time I stop a self-destructive behavior, I feel stronger the next time that temptation comes my way. See the little victories.....they add up! And that means your willpower and determination are getting that much stronger, too!
emoticon emoticon (Silence the itty bitty idiot committee...I will remember that!)

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CSAGIRL 12/20/2012 7:46AM

    Good for you, Peggy! That's a great accomplishment, and a wonderful insight! emoticon

Now, if only there were a way we could get together to work our yarn magic emoticon


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RG_DFW 12/20/2012 12:13AM

    Wise words... way to go!

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GRATEFUL_BEING 12/18/2012 9:05PM

  Wonderful Peggy!

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PEZMOM1 12/18/2012 8:51PM


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PJBONARRIGO 12/18/2012 8:42PM


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Getting to know my eating habits ~

Monday, December 17, 2012

I've been on SP and SC since November 1 and have lost 'almost' 12 pounds. During that time, I have learned an awful lot about myself and my eating habits.

I always suspected that it was not HOW MUCH I ate but, rather, WHAT I ate. Turns out, I was right. I have been making bad food choices for a LOT of years.

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Heavy emphasis on the candy. Reading or watching TV, while eating candy, especially hard candy, was a nightly routine. Because I really dislike cooking, it became very easy for me to grab 'anything' that I didn't have to cook ~ be it chips in a bag or hamburgers at a drive thru. Habits like these made life a lot easier ~ albeit my body much heavier. However, I was at a place in my life where I didn't care.

I've been on SP a few times in the last 3 years. Sometimes, just to check it out and a couple of times to 'practice' dieting. But, it didn't last. I haven't figured out what was different this time ~ maybe I was just ready. But, thankfully, it IS different this time. :)

The first few weeks were difficult because I had to learn how to eat, again. I went through some very hard days. And still have a lot to learn but at least I won't starve anymore while learning it. :) I have learned a lot. I still have patterns to break and a lot more to incorporate into my life but I'm pretty sure that I am going to be fine. I am not finding it 'too' difficult and am not even worried about the upcoming holiday because I am not craving a lot of things that I was certain would cause problems for me. I do like my chocolate and my ice cream and usually have one or both of them every day. In moderation. I have learned how to 'keep full' and find that when I AM full, with good food and lots of water, that things are not too difficult. I, also, know that I will have bad moments, and even bad days, but I feel like that's part of the human experience that goes along with every day 'life'. I will handle those challenges as they come.

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My exercise has been fairly good, as well. I, usually, swim 3 times a week as well as some aerobic dance and yoga. Not a lot ~ but enough, for now. I hope to increase it at some future point.

I think the biggest thing is my attitude. I am surprisingly calm and feel good about this food plan. I am losing at a slow and steady rate and feel confident that it will continue. I might not be that happy once I hit a plateau or some other 'snag' but I will be concerned with that when it happens, not NOW ~ and NOW is all any of us has. :)

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMARTIN77 12/23/2012 1:32PM

    I couldn't agree more. Since re-joining SP in November, I am learning to enjoy cooking again. I've strived to break the fast food far my longest streak was 22 days. And I don't feel so sluggish and tired now. Each time we make a decision to eat healthy, we are making an investment in our bodies.

Thanks so much for sharing your journey! emoticon
Have a blessed Christmas!

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CELIAMINER 12/18/2012 9:34AM

    I really believe you just had to be ready for change. I went through that, too, with a long history of yo-yo dieting, and I had resigned myself to being fat because my family was fat and, thus, I must have fat genes. Then, suddenly, I was ready...for real, this time.

Wishing you MUCH continued success as you journey into this wondrous, healthy new life!

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JACKIE542 12/17/2012 10:48PM

    Congratulations, you are doing a great job. emoticon

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CSAGIRL 12/17/2012 9:46PM

    This is fantastic! I'm so happy for you! And I'm so glad to be doing this with you.


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JMARIES51 12/17/2012 9:38PM

    Congratulations on your weight loss up until now. And especially congratulations on changing the habits - this is what it is all about.... baby step after baby step.

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BCARSON11 12/17/2012 8:51PM

    Congratulations on your weight loss so far. emoticon

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KARRENLYNN 12/17/2012 8:32PM

    I've been on sparkpeople since september this year. Using the nutrition tracker I learned exactly how bad I was eating. I hate writing it down but it really curbs the bad choices by alot if I have to visually account for it.

Congratulations on your weight loss, keep going, you can do it!

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PAXTONBLUE 12/17/2012 8:29PM

    The biggest eye opener for me was the first day I logged my food on SP. I couldn't believe how much sodium I was eating daily. Not only that but I never really sat down and thought about how many calories were in the things I was eating. I wasn't eating a lot of food but the calories in what I was eating was outrageous.

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It breaks my heart ~

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I know the 'facts' about the Connecticut shooting but I can't bring myself to watch anything more about it on the news or in the papers. It is too close to me and my heart is already in shreds. There just are no words that mean enough . . . .

Shortly after the Columbine shooting, there was a shooting at the small-town school where 2 of my children attended. (Taber, Alberta, Canada). Two students were shot, one died. I got a phone call from the aide of my son, who has special needs, saying that they were sending Mark home in a taxi ~ and they wouldn't tell me much, just that something 'bad' had happened at the school. My daughter didn't get home for over an hour, which was very scary. The teacher had, thankfully, locked them in a classroom. It made the world news because we got phone calls from as far away as relatives in Florida. It was terrifying. My daughter had been close to the hallway and heard the shots, she had to have counselling. The boy who was killed was the son of a minister and I talked to his mother about it at Bible study one day, long after. So, so sad. :( She was incredible, however. I asked her if she was angry at God ~ after all their family 'works' for God and has such belief. She told me that maybe they were more able to deal with it because of their belief so to wish it had been someone else was just wrong. What an incredible, beautiful woman! Things like this can happen anywhere, anytime, to anyone ~ after all, Canada has gun control. :(

I know 'a little' bit about what these people are going through. It just breaks my heart in a trillion pieces. Every day I am grateful that I have my children. I hug them and tell them I love them EVERY single day. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRATEFUL_BEING 12/17/2012 8:12AM

  Peggy thank you for sharing this piece of your life. You are not alone as far as avoiding media coverage. I can not bring myself to view any of it.

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MRE1956 12/16/2012 2:01PM

    I've just heard even worse news from Newtown today - so chilling that I had to back away from the report and stay away from news.......


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1BEACHWALKER 12/15/2012 10:48PM

    So sorry you & you kids had to go through that too! So happy your kids were ok! Yes, that was so sad to see that happening again in CT! It is hard to watch..I wish the media would have more respect for the people involved and not show so much of it! All schools should have metal detectors now and should have after Columbine! This school even had security and locked doors and if they had had a metal detector it would have went off and maybe he could have been stopped.
Thanks for commenting on my Ocean Blog! Have a great week ahead! emoticon

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CELIAMINER 12/15/2012 4:18PM

    Thanks so much for commenting on my grief blog and for telling your own story here. It helps to reach out to each other.


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JMARIES51 12/15/2012 2:48PM

    It is so sad that anyone has to have this memory. It just hits home that we as a collective human society are failing to teach our children, or to take care of our children who are mentally ill - because it seems to happen all over the world. So sad. I am it brings up all sorts of memories for you and your children.

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KAKONOLADY 12/15/2012 1:30PM

    How how touching!! so so sorry your baby had to go through that!! I can't imagine!!! We've had a couple school shootings here in san diego --a few years ago some guy was shooting at children on an elementary school playground in carlsbad,--thank Jesus no babies were killed!! This tears my heart apart just thinking about it!! hugs

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