Friday, December 07, 2012
I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. ~ Gandhi
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
We had an amazing vacation. It was only 4 days but it was a full 4 days. Shopped, swam and yes, ate.
I know that I don't like mountains, at the best of times, but I had forgotten HOW MUCH I don't like mountains. The second day, we drove 180 miles to go to a Cracker Barrel, my favorite restaurant ever. I haven't been to one in about 15 years because they didn't have any in Montana, at one time. So, it was worth every minute, to eat there and to shop in the gift store But, it involved driving in the snowy, foggy, slippery mountains, which made me seriously remember how very much I dislike them. I am, totally, an 'ocean' gal. :)
We ate at some very good restaurants ~ and I denied myself NOTHING ~ BUT I divided all my meals in half. The only really 'bad' thing I did have was, not one, but 2 ice cream cones. PUMPKIN. We don't have pumpkin ice cream in my part of Canada and they were SOOOO good. Pumpkin ice cream is my favorite, and I haven't had it in about 20 years, so I can't regret one single bit of it. hehehe Other than that, even though I wasn't tracking, I tried to stay to my SP plan.
The pool wasn't as big as I'd have liked but I did do laps for 3 hours the 4 days we were there which was awesome. I, also, bought myself a new, and smaller, bathing suit.
One of my favorite purchases was a new bathroom scale. It is digital and has big numbers and, also, has 'other' measurements. These may, or may not, be helpful. The one that I think 'may' be helpful is the water percentage which may be able to tell if I'm retaining water. I hope so because then I won't get angry when my weight is up, if it's just water. I'm sure many of you have scales like this and could tell me if those things are useful or not ~ I've never owned one before.
The most incredibly amazing news is that, according to this scale, I have LOST 4 lbs. That just boggles my brain. How on earth is that possible? I thought, for sure, that being 'away' would make me gain weight. I know the scale is not wrong because my son weighed both on the scale at home and the new scale and his weight was the same on both. I do NOT understand it ~ but I sure WILL take it.
I am aware that I could have a slight weight gain later to account for some of the foods that I ate ~ and I will deal with it, if it happens. I'm just over the moon that the scale is moving again. Plus, I am TOTALLY back on track today.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Ok, we're not really going to the fair, but I sing that every time we go to Montana. I don't think 'Montana' is the real place in that song but I've been singing it that way for so long, I don't remember the real words. (Finally remembered ~ its Kentucky, which I adore.)
We are going to have some wonderful R&R, have fun, shop, swim (I pray there aren't TOO many rug-rats there) and EAT. I am so going to try to behave. Please send prayers, thoughts, direction - whatever you believe in ~ my way. First time, since joining SP that I've had such a big challenge.
I HAVE planned for it, in a lot of ways. First, I had to have a fridge in the room, for snacks, fruit etc. For the continental breakfast, I am going to stay in the room and meditate and have some toast and peanut butter brought back for me. I am taking a 'snack' bag for the trip there, complete with lovely Christmas oranges, All-Bran bars and MIO for my water. I only plan to have 1 meal in a restaurant, per day. I was very worried about that meal, until I read Matt's blog, last night. Thanks ITSMATT, as always. I plan to do my best to eat low-cal selections BUT no guarantees. After all, a halo is only 6 inches from a noose! BUT, if I have to have a 'normal' meal, I will cut it in HALF. :)
Gotta go and get ready, we leave at noon. I will check in when possible. Hugs to my amazing Spark friends.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
"Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time." ~ Mark Twain
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
On SparkCoach today, SparkGuy suggested that we examine our REAL reason for wanting to lose weight. So, I've been pondering that question.
Initially, when I gained all this weight, it was because I could hear my father's wife telling me that I needed to lose weight so my children would not be ashamed of me. That statement haunted me for years. I honestly, totally and completely BELIEVED that people would not like me if I was fat ~ so I hibernated and stayed away from people. It was really sad when I look back on it. It took me YEARS to begin to believe that I was "ok" and worthy even if I was overweight. It was a hard thing for me to believe and took a long time but, maybe, it was a lesson I needed to learn. Today, I know that I am lovable and worthwhile ~ even with the fat.
WHY do I want to lose weight then?
1. I have high cholesterol, slightly high blood pressure and pre-diabetes. I plan to reverse ALL of this. Being healthy is the only way to be.
2. I will be 60 years old at the end of January. That boggles my brain ~ but it's a fact. NOBODY believes that I'm that old. I know I don't look that old (thank you God). My sister, who is 8 years younger, and my brother, almost 3 years younger both look older than I do. BUT I often wonder if I will look older once I become thinner ~ and it scares me. Looking younger is one thing I have always had in my favor. But, the point is that being being over-weight as I get older, is NOT good for me.
3. I have an adult son, who has high-functioning autism, who lives at home, and I have adopted my 12-year old grandson, he's been MY son since he was born. I love these 2 so much. As well as my other kids, of course. Mark and Matthew depend on me and I want/need to be here for a long, long time.
4. I have never been big on exercise but now I love swimming. I really want to be in shape. I used to tell everyone that "I am in shape, round is a shape" (thanks Garfield) but I don't want that to be the case, any more. Being in shape will improve other things, like my arthritis and my asthma which I have 'slightly".
5, I was thin all my life until I turned 40, then I let the pounds pack on. Now I am a bit over 200. Again, people tell me that I don't look it. I must be 'solid' ~ but I KNOW it. I want very much to be under that when I turn 60 in January. It will feel like a milestone. I don't think I want to be as thin as I was before but I sure need to lose about 40 lbs.
6. I want to wear smaller clothes. I am tired of shopping at over-size ladies shops. I can get into 'normal' pant sizes but have to wear bigger tops to accommodate 'the girls'. Amazing, how, when I was younger, I was so proud of them ~ and now I just wish they would fall off.
7. I want to look better. Being my age, I don't have 'forever' left to look good. So, now is the time.
8. I want to break these bonds and be FREE. I have beaten other addictions in my life. Now, I want to beat this one. I don't feel it is exactly an addiction but it has the 'upper hand' right now and I want to be in control.
I'm sure there are other reasons but these are the ones that come to mind, right now.
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