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Day 1 and I already hit a glitch ~

Saturday, November 02, 2013

Not a great way to begin Day 1, yesterday. I "think" I stayed below my high-end calorie allowance. Problem is I'm not sure ~ and, of course, that is a great way to mess with my head. I felt like 'blowing it' and starting again Then I realized that if I do that, one day at a time I will keep doing it.

By the time I picked up my son, who lives out of town, took my other son for a Frohawk haircut (isn't that the most awful name? And it does not look like a Mohawk, thank God), and got some groceries, it was 7:30 and no supper started. So, we got take-out from my favorite restaurant, and I had my favorite Italian dish, linguine amatriciana. I know it's way lower in calories than a lot of the creamy Italian dishes ~ but by how much? No way to count the calories. So, I checked different recipes and restaurant calorie counts for this dish ~ and tried to use a number that sounded reasonable. I even put each ingredient into the Spark People counter and tried to come up with something reasonable. But, how do I really know how much of anything was used? And, I only ate 2/3 of it, just to be on the safe side. I know I did all I can do ~ but because it's not 'spot on', I feel like I'm cheating. It's just too uncertain for me. And I'm beating myself up for that.

Today is a new day and I'm staying on track but I sure wish I knew what to do the next time that comes up ~ because it will. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX1949 11/3/2013 2:23AM

    Progress not perfection. Good choice to bypass the creamy dishes. My past Italian dish of choice was Fettucini Alfredo -- gluten & lactose problems took care of those cravings -- not worth the side effects. I'm now working on preparing homemade soups and a few other dishes that freeze well to have on hand for an 'instant meal' in a pinch since I've been doing some mindless grazing and not counting for tracker.

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SUPERPSYCHED30 11/2/2013 1:28PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Things I did wrong ~

Friday, November 01, 2013

November 1 ~ which means I am back on program, for good. It was last year, on Nov 1, that I joined and lost 15 pounds ~ and then things went south. So, I am going to write down the things that made it go that way, in hopes that I have learned from them.

~ It takes me a long time to lose weight, at this time of my life. This did not make me happy from the start. I see other people, doing the same things I do, losing weight at a much faster rate and it is disheartening.

~ I had reached a plateau in the spring. My niece sells Visalus. Knowing, full well, that liquid diets don't work, I signed up. Wasted my time, my money and no matter what you put in a shake ~ it's still only a shake ~ so that didn't last long. I didn't put on any weight but I didn't lose any either. It did set me up for not following my Spark diet, however.

~ through the summer, I would gain a bit, go back on my Spark plan, fall off, gain a bit, follow my Spark plan, fall off. All in all ~ I maintained, while I was getting up the 'want to' to come back full-time.

~ early this fall, September, I believe, I hit a really low point and soothed myself with sugar. I consumed volumes, bag after bag, of Kernel's popcorn. The double dipped variety. I gained. Of course, I gained.

~ since then, I've hated my body and hated myself for winding up back in this body. Along with that, of course, came the mentality "I've gained already. What the heck, I might as well just eat what I want. I will never lose weight and keep it off."

~ my biggest problem? I could live on sugar. I have spent weeks of my life, eating very little but sugar. Addicted? No doubt about it! VERY! But, I have found, that if I deprive myself totally, I will fail. I can, and have, got to the point where I can eat a 'reasonable' amount and get by.

~ I detest, really detest, making salad. I don't like cooking at the best of times, although I am liking it more than I used to, so there is improvement there. But, I will never like making salad. And ~ bagged salad tastes horrible. I can even pick out which restaurants use bagged salad - and never go there again.

~ my bedtime routine is watching my favorite TV shows on my computer, in bed, for a couple of hours before falling to sleep. During that time, I love eating bagged candies. This started in my childhood, only then it was reading before bed, eating bagged candy. But ~ my childhood body could handle that and stay slim. Even my adult body could do that, most often. But, my older body does not handle that well.

~ my self-talk is mostly negative. I work, every day, with the help of my 'gurus' at changing that. I was doing well when I was on program, last year. Then . . . . .

~ I HATE exercise. *sigh of relief* There, I've said it. I have to force myself to exercise. I did, in the past, but then I, slowly but surely, stopped. Right in the middle of the summer, the strangest time to stop, in my opinion. I detest snow and dark, and winter is depressive. I don't like to go out. But, summer? I thrive in summer. So, this made very little sense.

I am sure there is more that I will be adding to this list. I need to change every one of these things. Some of them, the shake for instance, I knew better but did it anyway. I am certain there are more things that I need to add but these will do for now.

I am back ~ reluctantly for now ~ but I know it is necessary. All I have is time. And the alternative is not a choice. I refuse to stay in this fat, unhealthy body. In changing it, I just might have 'more' time.

Wish me success! I don't expect this to be easy!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX1949 11/1/2013 5:29PM

    What a sweet picture. Great introspection on lessons learned.

I joined a couple of weeks before you, on a roll with tracking and losing weight, then got ill for a month and had to curtail exercise so went back to habit of comforting self with sweets, and regained most of what I had lost. Sugar has had its hold on me again and so the vicious cycle has been activated.

Twice-weekly Tai-Chi meditations with a friend turned into talk-while-going-through-the-motion
s-on-the-screen sessions. I recently ordered several 'Stronger Seniors' DVD's that were mentioned on The Chair Exercise Team and am looking forward to using these over the winter months. After 2-1/2 weeks of 2or 3 times per week use, I have more strength in my thighs and quads along with a little improvement in upper arm strength. Many short snippets of these are posted on YouTube so people can get a feel for what is involved. A search on Stronger Seniors at SP till lead you to her SparkPage and links to her website.

We can do this, at our own speed, one decision at a time!

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My laugh of the day ~

Thursday, October 31, 2013

I laughed so hard when I saw this. I couldn't believe someone was actually "reading my mail". This is sooooooo me. I wish it wasn't ~ but it is! :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX1949 10/31/2013 11:50PM

    . . . and I'll be careful of the little pebble at the quarter-mile mark 'cuz I don't want to trip! I'm very good at procrastinating on physical activity, citing all the things that might happen instead of concentrating on the good that will happen.


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CLAYARTIST 10/31/2013 10:17PM


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Mindful Moments ~

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I need to keep this in mind. What other choice is there? Really?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-WISPY- 10/30/2013 11:05PM

    Amen sistah. You go girl.

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PHOENIX1949 10/30/2013 9:46PM


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Getting ready ~

Monday, October 28, 2013

Found this on the SP home page and it's like it was left for me. I am trying to remember this. I have set Nov 1 as my re-start date. Why not? That was the date I started last year, lost some weight, and then gained some back. Time to lose that again and more. I'm still unsure but I do know that I have nothing to lose ~ but weight.

I was going to start today but things did not go as planned. At least I'm off of pop so that is a beginning.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX1949 10/28/2013 9:56PM

    I copied that one also and it reminded me of one I found a few days earlier.

"Its nice to know where you’ve been, but where you’re going is more important. That's why the windshield is so big and the rearview mirror is so small."

~ Ken McElroy

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