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I won't let this be undone ~

Monday, July 22, 2013

I was going to blog about what has been holding me back, getting in my way, and setting me up for failure lately. But, I'm not going to do that. We ALL know that can happen. And, hopefully, we are all working toward undoing those things and making new and better decisions.

So, what I am going to say is that I am not giving up. I have had some obstacles lately. The latest one being sick again and spending an afternoon in the hospital to come home to bed rest for a couple of days. It seems like one thing after another and that has got me quite 'down' in the last few weeks. I was even thinking about quitting SP and coming back at a better time. Then common sense prevailed. We all know that a 'better time' may mean 'never'.

I have done some thinking about what I need in order to succeed. I am spending way too much time online. I have to limit that ~ but still come to SP every day and try to participate. I, also, have not been allowing myself 'treats' lately and, for me, that is just wrong. When I do that, I end up eating way more than I should in the evening. When I first started SP, and did lose weight on a constant basis, one of the best things I did for myself was to allow myself to eat 'almost' anything I wanted if I could still count it that day. Then, when my calories ran out ~ I stopped. So, I have got some of my favorite foods in the house now and plan to use them when I have to.

I'm looking for all the things that helped me before and I am NOT going to quit. That will get me exactly NOTHING. I am proud of my weight loss so far and will get back on track!!

I'm on my way to the pool for some exercise. Have a great day everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLINGANDBOWS27 7/24/2013 11:21AM

    I am so sorry to hear that you were in the hospital sick. I hope you are doing well now and getting back to the norm. I was so sad to read your thoughts on leaving SP... You and I both know that life is full of obstacles, roadblocks per say, and they attempt to hinder our progression. YOU have to fight. You have to keep going. Pushing past the difficult is what makes us stronger. This weightloss journey that we've all found ourselves on is about change. So changing our plans will need to happen from time to time. I mentioned earlier today that if everybody lost weight the same way then we'd all be doing the same thing but what works for you may not work for me. You can do this and you will succeed! I was relieved to further read that you're going to continue on SP so know that I am here for you whenever you need me. You can drop me "i feel like quitting line" and I will be there to push you. Have a wonderful day and thank you my friend for staying here.

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IOWAGRAMMA 7/22/2013 10:07PM

    Happy to see that you are thinking about the things that you know work for you!!! Great job! It is so easy to get discouraged (have been there myself lately), but you are so right...there is no better time than now to do the best we can by hanging in there, doing what we can when we can and moving forward as we can! Good for proud of you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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-WISPY- 7/22/2013 8:16PM

    Way to go lady. You are certainly right, it is the very time that we think of quitting, is the very time to keep going. Spark is a great place to be and I also agree with what you say. I need to know that I can eat 'something' if I want it. Far less chance of my going crazy and binging my head off on 'forbidden fruits'.

You are doing great sweetheart. Keep up the good work.

Hugs Wispy.

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SNIC23 7/22/2013 6:28PM

    Common sense... now that is definitely a blessing!

I am so sorry to learn that you have been having a hard time. I hope a few days of bed rest have helped to improve your health and that the pool time isn't overdoing anything.
You're right, there may never be an ideal time. You are smart to go back and consider what it was that helped you to be so successful in the beginning. Obviously you CAN succeed and realizing that is a success in and of itself. You'll do fine... you ARE doing fine. No need to leave SP, just do what you can, when you can. Nobody, not even you, can ask you for more than that. emoticon

I have had such a hectic time lately that in order to keep my exercise up and my food tracked I have had to cut down on my internet time as well. Just know that I think of you often and that I am ALWAYS rooting for you. ALWAYS!!!
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PHOENIX1949 7/22/2013 4:32PM

    I could have written this post. Glad to hear you are sticking around on a limited basis. I've been afraid to let a day go by without signing on for fear I will stop altogether.
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June 26 ~ Home construction

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

And really happy that I am ~ because this could be a very stressful day! The house is full of workmen, who are making me a balcony off of my bedroom. There are carpenters and an electrician. Today they are installing my beautiful balcony doors. Because of this, I haven't been able to read Spark Solutions or do some things I usually do every morning ie: meditate. I am, also, behind on my SP correspondence. But, things have been crazy around here all week ~ and will continue for the rest of the week. I will be paying for this for a loooooong time ~ but it is necessary for my happiness. emoticon I am really looking forward to taking my morning coffee and just enjoying and relaxing in nature.

I am doing all I can regarding food and exercise. I can't go swimming this afternoon but I'm not going to let that pull me down. Oops, they are back from lunch, so gotta go ~ but do want to keep a journal of the next 2 weeks. ;)

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMARIES51 7/11/2013 12:48AM

    I hope your balcony is all finished and that you are able to sit out there and meditate every day. I love balconies and decks and porches.
By the way, not sure if your Luke is still here, but the weather is gorgeous.

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BLINGANDBOWS27 7/8/2013 12:39PM

    Oh how I need a balcony off my bedroom. That sounds so lovely. I know home improvements can be stressful. The mere idea of people running in and out of my home would have me in shambles, lol so kudo's to you for not allowing this stress to get to you. Have a wonderful day and take some pictures!!!!

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PHOENIX1949 6/29/2013 11:15AM

    Balcony addition sounds wonderful! The intrinsic value is priceless.

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SNIC23 6/26/2013 3:51PM

    That sounds wonderful! Stressful though it may be, in the end it will be a source for relaxation. Good for you! I do hope you are able to post a picture or two of the finished job. Take care and keep moving!

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June 25 ~ The Ways of Water

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

“Nothing in the world is softer and weaker than water. But for attacking the hard, the unyielding, nothing can surpass it. There is nothing like it.”
"There’s so much wisdom to be found in this analogy: Stay in your soft mode. Hang back when you’re about to show how hard you can be. Try patience rather than attempting to rigidly control. Trust your innately gentle self." ~ Wayne Dyer

Southern Alberta is still being 'cleaned up' from the awful storm. Where I live isn't TOO bad ~ but some places are just awful. Calgary (you may have heard of the Calgary Stampede) is simply awful. Downtown has been closed for a number of days. Other places have been totally evacuated. It makes me so sad because nobody loves water more than I do. But, it's food for thought that things that a person loves can, also, turn on them.

This is a photo of where we were the weekend before last. So sad.

Anyway ~ about food. I found out yesterday that following the Spark Solutions 'food' plan is simply not for me. I ate the breakfast, had the lunch for dinner and ate some fruit with milk for lunch. I did stay within my allotted number of calories so I am happy about that. I even lowered my calorie intake by 150 calories since I've lost some weight. I will follow the food plan whenever I can ~ as in 3 meals and 2 snacks ~ but there are lots of things that don't make sense FOR ME. The dinners are large and I have a very picky child who won't eat most of them so there would always be left-overs, for instance. I will do what I can with Spark Solutions and for the rest, I will simply follow Spark People. emoticon

I will read the book every day and follow along with the other suggestions, however. Like exercise. Yesterday, I did an aerobic routine with Coach Nicole for 20 mins ~ and even though it was 'easy', my legs and feet hurt really bad later in the evening. Argh! But, then, I read in the Spark Solutions book that you shouldn't do cardio 2 days in a row ~ and I had swam for 75 mins. on Sunday. So, I learned something. Which can't be a bad thing. Today, I will do some strength training. emoticon

I am doing well and believe that following the Spark Solutions book (as well as possible) has helped me get back on track. Along with my amazing Spark People friends. emoticon

I hope everyone else is working well with their programs, as well. Have a wonderful Tuesday ~ and stay 'soft' like water. And, don't forget to drink 8 glasses of it every day, too! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX1949 6/29/2013 11:07AM

    Love the water pic and quote. We 'accidentally' got to experience the Calgary Stampede. We had booked a Canadian Rockies motor coach tour about a year in advance and tacked on 3 extra days at the hotel at the end of the tour at group rates. What a pleasant surprise that it was in the middle of the Stampede!

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SNIC23 6/25/2013 5:18PM

    I'm glad you're okay and weathered the storm okay. I didn't realize there was a crazy storm system hitting your part of the continent. (I had to get in touch with a good friend that lives in Calgary to make sure he was okay. He said he lives on a big hill so he's just fine.)

So you're not flooded or floating away, you're able to stick to the plan for the most part offered by Spark Solution and you're swimming too much. It sounds perfect! Did you ever think you would be accused of too much activity? You gotta love that!

I hope you're having a fantastic day!

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June 24 ~ Spark Solutions

Monday, June 24, 2013

"The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." ~ Lao Tzu

I have started the 'Spark Solution' challenge today.

I am not following the food plan 100% since I do know what I'm doing and have been on SP for awhile. I will follow it as closely as I can but with changes. For instance, I have to have 2 cups of coffee in the morning and NOT with skim milk. Can you say YUCK?! So, I will count my coffee as I have been. I have no oranges today ~ I thought I did but my son took the last one APPARENTLY. emoticon So, I will eat the calorie equivalent in strawberries. Etc. I am, also, eating breakfast and snacks, as suggested.

I will read the plan for each day and follow the exercise and do the things outlined in the book. I still plan on swimming as often as possible, so that will be my exercise for a particular day and I won't be doing the 'suggested' exercise. Other days, I will follow the plan as outlined in Spark Solutions.

I am really hoping that this gets me back on track and ready to tackle the rest of my weight loss. I plan on making it my priority ~ so some good results ought to be obtained. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNIC23 6/24/2013 2:34PM

    Just out of curiosity... do you see 3 replies to this post made on 6/20/13 or is it just me? SP has had some glitches lately.

It sounds like you're already well on your way to being on track, no hoping about it! Having a plan in place is half the battle. I know you've been swimming a lot lately and that's GREAT summer exercise. Another plus is that it's low impact.

Happy Monday!

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June 20 ~ Kratom

Thursday, June 20, 2013

“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

And that has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm blogging about ~ but I love stuff like that. emoticon

I had an appointment with my addictions counselor today. It was a great appointment. Rich has been my counselor for about 5 years and I absolutely love him. We are kinda 'friends' as well as being in a counseling relationship. We don't see each other outside of his office but he has even commented that we are 'more' than just patient/counselor. We discuss 'other' things sometimes and we know each other pretty good. I have 'son' type feelings for him. Anyway, we discussed my 'abandonment' issues ~ I have HUGE abandonment problems. Other than that, things are going well for me. I told him about my using Kratom at our last appointment, which is an herb-type natural remedy for many things, including pain, depression, drug withdrawal and it gives you energy. I really. really like it. Rich has looked into it since our last appointment and he sees nothing wrong with it ~ so I can continue on it. It really helps me with all of these things and I really like it. Has anyone else ever tried it? emoticon

I am having a problem with my diet, as well. We had an exercise on Spark Coach a couple of days ago, in which we were supposed to 'listen to our body' and eat accordingly. I thought that might create a bit of a problem and I was right. This is, actually, an on-going problem that I have and I need to figure out what to do about it.

I get up between 9 and 10 in the morning and go to bed between midnight and 2. My body does not want anything besides coffee until noon. In fact, it doesn't really want to eat until about 3 in the afternoon but I do make myself eat something for lunch ~ at least a sandwich or something with protein. Mid-afternoon I will have some other small thing. Supper is a good, regular size supper. (I doubt I will ever get used to the word 'dinner' for the evening meal lol) And, I do eat something around 9 because I don't get to bed until so late. Which is all fine and dandy. But, some evenings, I want to eat and eat and eat. So ~ I have to find some 'good' and low-calorie things to eat in the evening. I've tried doing the 'normal' thing with having something small with my breakfast coffee and a larger lunch ~ but it all works out the same. In the evenings, I am hungry. So ~ I've got to come up with a solution to this. I guess I will do some reading here, at SP, and hopefully, I will find an answer. That is my biggest diet 'issue' right now ~ but it's a BIG one. :) I doubt if I'm going to lose any more weight until I figure it out. :(

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX1949 6/21/2013 12:15AM

    Beautiful pic and beautiful quote. Good luck with everything.

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SNIC23 6/20/2013 11:21PM

    I have never heard of Kratom, but I am interested. I will look it up and if I try it out I will let you know how it goes. I'm always anxious to learn about natural remedies.

Too bad you're having such issues with your eating schedule. It took me about a month to get used to eating in the morning. I get up about 6 AM daily and usually didn't eat until sometime between 2 and 3 in the afternoon. Now I eat within 2 hours of waking up, I eat a midmorning snack and then lunch between 12 and 1 in the afternoon. As long as I do this I am not starving later in the day. But you said you've tried this and were still having an issue with wanting to eat in the evening. I'm sure there's an article or 10 on that around the site somewhere. I will take a look and see if anything seems like it may be helpful for you. You may have already found it, but just in case I will see what I can find. Worst case scenario is that I learn something new, right?

I'm glad all is going well with your addiction counseling. It's great that you have such a wonderful relationship with him, that makes all the difference in the world!

Take care and have a fantastic evening!

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GRATEFUL_BEING 6/20/2013 9:31PM

  Oh I feel your pain the night eating. I think its a matter of teaching ourselves not to do it. Its a habit I have somehow grown into the last year. I've always had a small snack at night, but my snacks as of late seem to be getting bigger and bigger. I fear the only think to do is toughen up and forgo until I can establish a new habit. So much easier said than done. Beautiful quote.

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