Friday, February 15, 2013
Syncronicity is something that I totally believe in. Carl Jung coined the word to describe what he called "temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events."
Last night, I over-ate. No, I mean I REALLY over-ate. Once I started ~ I couldn't stop. For instance, I ate over half a box of Toffifee. :( And that was just the beginning. So, I have been full of loathing and self-disgust all day.
I received a message from a friend of mine, earlier today ~ she was very, very upset. You see, my friend is trying real hard to quit smoking. She had a cigarette yesterday and is very disappointed in herself. Of course, I answered her and tried to cheer her up by telling her the exact truth, as I see it, about the situation.
It wasn't until a few hours later, that I realized that I could, and should, apply what I said to my friend to myself and my binge situation. In fact, my letter to her could have been sent to myself, it applied so well. Everyone always says that you wouldn't talk to a friend the way to talk to yourself. That we are our own worst critics ~ and that we need to be nicer to ourselves. That we need to apply self-love to our situations.
This is what I wrote to my friend:
PLEASE don't beat yourself up about smoking. It is OVER. It is the PAST. You need to live in the PRESENT MOMENT. Do not allow yourself to feel guilt/shame/self-hate about it. YOU are a great person who made a bad mistake.
It is a hard job, quitting smoking, and you are doing the best you can ~ without having to put expectations on yourself, for anyone, for any reason. STOP IT.
Think of the wonderful job you've been doing ~ 3 months is wonderful. Keep your mind on the positive and not the negative. So what, you screwed up ~ it's part of life. You have done a lot of good recently and you need to give yourself credit for that and keep your thoughts focused on that.
PLEASE, be good to yourself. You are worth it ~ and you've been doing such a wonderful job. You hit a bump but keep on doing what you've been doing. I love you and give you lots of credit for the great work you have been putting in lately. Talk soon. Big hugs
I expected my friend to listen to my thoughts and, hopefully, take my advice seriously. She is a wonderful woman and shouldn't be defining herself by her mistakes and imperfections.
But, ME ~ that's a different story, altogether., I screwed up royally and I should 'know better' and not make mistakes. Especially such huge, glaring mistakes. I might gain 5 lbs. for what I did! How can I be so stupid! I've been doing so well . . . . and now, look at what I've done! I might as well give up! It will take me 'forever' to recover from THAT mistake! How could I have been so stupid?! It was clear to me that Kelly (my friend) should forgive herself and move on but me? I don't deserve forgiveness.
It took me most of the afternoon to convince myself that I, too, am lovable, worth it and forgivable!! But ~ I have, finally, come to the place where I can forgive myself and apply these things to my situation. I AM only human and I deserve to be forgiven. I don't have to treat myself with hate and disgust. I can view myself as valuable and deserving of a break.
Do you treat yourself the same way, sometimes? Do you need to apply some self-love and respect to yourself? To be your own best friend? Try treating yourself the way you would treat a loved and cherished friend because if you don't love yourself, how are you ever going to love anybody else? You DO deserve it!