I made some difficult ~ but right ~ decisions ~

Friday, April 26, 2013

As of this morning, I am back to the weight that I was when I got sick and stopped really 'counting' my food. I am very happy about that because that is 17 lbs to date. I know I have more to lose but I, also, know that this time I really AM doing it. :)

I had some good news yesterday so I took my son out for supper, to celebrate. We went to a steak and rib restaurant. I ordered a small order of side ribs, with a small caesar salad and a cornmeal muffin. It was wonderful and I enjoyed every bite. :) My son wanted dessert and I knew there was no way he could order sticky toffee pudding, which I love, without me having some. Most of it, most likely. So, I told him we would go to Marble Slab and he could have a medium ice cream with TWO toppings. Of course, I had to go in and pay for it. Well ~ darned if they didn't have fresh banana, my favorite (along with pumpkin), which I haven't had in years. *sigh I asked the girl if I could have a sample AND that was all I had was a tiny bit on the end of a spoon. Boy, was that hard! My son and the cashier both told me I had a lot of will power. I felt so good ~ and I did feel empowered. :)

In a few minutes, we are off to go swimming, something else I haven't done for waaaaay too long. I did buy a bike and have been going on short bike rides every night ~ but they really ARE short. LOL Sometimes even 5 - 10 minutes. These old legs need to get used to it, without aching. But, swimming is my passion ~ so it should be great on all levels. :)

That's what's new with me. How 'bout you? Have a wonderful day ~ and weekend! :)

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNIC23 4/30/2013 2:41PM

Good to be back, isn't it? Report Inappropriate Comment

WIO_ALISA 4/27/2013 5:25PM

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PHOENIX1949 4/26/2013 4:47PM

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ELIZABETH5268 4/26/2013 4:08PM

Good job! Report Inappropriate Comment

SARACONDON 4/26/2013 2:55PM

I feel the same about bike riding and swimming. I am trying to ride more. One of my (long term) goals is to do a mini tri. Congrats on the great day! Report Inappropriate Comment

TIME2BLOOM4ME 4/26/2013 2:48PM

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Sunday ~ April 21 ~

Sunday, April 21, 2013

It seems like a good day to come back to SparkPeople. For awhile, I didn't think I was going to come back. Or had the 'strength' to come back. It's been a long haul.

Since about Christmas time, things have been adding up or not going right and it just got progressively worse. Some days, and even weeks, were fine ~ but, overall, things just weren't right. I wasn't Sparking as much as before. Then, a few unexpected things happened around the end of March which made life even more difficult. About that time, I stopped coming to Spark, at all. Then, I got sick ~ and off program, until there was no more program. Then, the depression and the blues . . .

I haven't actually gained too much back. And I don't want to stop. So, today, being a new week ~ and there is something that I like about the number 21 that just made it seem possible. I'm still not 100%, either physically or mentally ~ but a person has to start somewhere. So, I've been 'on program' all day ~ and have a healthy crock-pot recipe cooking for supper. I'm not concerning myself with exercise today ~ I always took Sunday off, anyway. I will, maybe, look at that tomorrow.

I really want to be happy, joyous and free ~ like I was before. I will do my best and that's all anyone can do. It might be baby steps for awhile but 'whatever it takes'.

Hugs to my Spark friends.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMARIES51 5/2/2013 12:24PM

Wow, I can so relate. I thought I was going to make it through this winter without the blues, but once I got the flu, I was down and out. So I am back on Spark now, too, and I really want us to stick together - girlfriend. It is so much more fun together! hugs, Joann Report Inappropriate Comment

SNIC23 4/22/2013 9:30PM

It's so wonderful to have you back. Because you have been through so much recently it's probably best that you are easing back into things at a comfortable pace. You know yourself better than anyone and easy-does-it is a great way to make progress - the steps you are taking are in the right direction. FANTASTIC! I wondered how you had been doing but didn't want to pry, especially since I'm still fairly new here. Take care of you and when you see the sun poke out try to soak up some vitamin D! That is a wonderful mood elevator backed by years of research. I believe they say 15 minutes a day is a fair amount for most healthy adults. So, what was in the crock pot? I love cooking, maybe it's something my family would enjoy? Report Inappropriate Comment

IOWAGRAMMA 4/22/2013 1:37PM

I've missed you. I've been struggling most of the winter and early spring, too, although I've been on SP. Just not making any progress. I'm doing better now. Hope you will, too. Sometimes it seems like it will just take too much energy to come here and be involved. Glad to see you now, and hope that the days ahead are better for you and that Spring will help get you feeling better and moving forward again! Love, Jeannie Report Inappropriate Comment

PHOENIX1949 4/22/2013 2:51AM

back. life is so challenging. Love the wallpaper on your page. Missed several days tracking, first since signing up, trying to come to terms with new medical issues. is what we've got to do. Report Inappropriate Comment

TARDAR1 4/21/2013 5:23PM

In your darkest hour there is light inside of you. And only you can reach in and pull it out. We all have those hours, and we all need encouragement to pull though. You can pull though whatever it is that you are and have faced. I don't know you, but, I do know how it feels to be inside out. I do know how it feels to be so sad and depressed that even simple daily chores break you. It does get better, and happiness is something you will achieve. Just remember one thing: You are worth it. You deserve a happy and healthy life style. Peace Report Inappropriate Comment

ANASONIC 4/21/2013 5:18PM

One day, one step at a time. Comment edited on: 4/21/2013 5:18:21 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

Mindful Moment ~ for Thursday

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Happy Birthday, my darling Mark!

"There is nothing better than birthday cake. It's like a slice of concentrated love with butter-cream frosting." ~ Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX1949 3/28/2013 10:14PM

Reminded me of the fruit pizza's Mom used to make for our birthdays. Report Inappropriate Comment

LADYJ6942 3/28/2013 1:34PM

YUM! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR DH Report Inappropriate Comment

CREEKLADY1 3/28/2013 1:26PM

Happy Birthday Mark....make his birthday a great one to remember! Report Inappropriate Comment

Mindful Moment ~ Sunday

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear" ~ Mark Twain

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX1949 3/24/2013 6:24PM

The Wizard of Oz | 1939 Character Quote Unknown You're under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage. You are confusing courage with wisdom. Back where I come from we have men who are called heroes. Once a year they take their fortitude out of mothballs and parade it down the main street of the city. And they have no more courage than you have. But they have one thing that you haven't got: A medal! Therefore, for meritorious conduct extraordinary valor, conspicuous bravery against wicked witches I award you the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Courage! Shucks, folks, I'm speechless! As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart! Report Inappropriate Comment

JTREMBATH 3/24/2013 1:57PM

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March 14 ~

Thursday, March 14, 2013

I don't know how ~ or even if you can ~ keep a particular blog entry private. If I did, I would have done that with this one.

I am, actually, just making this blog so that I have a 'reminder of time' ~ at some point in the future. I used to love making blog entries but I haven't felt 'much' like doing anything lately.

I am doing the things I can, putting one foot in front of the other, trying to be present ~ in all things in my life, lately. As far as SP goes, I am staying within calories and doing 10-15 minutes of exercise daily. I know that 'somewhere' inside myself, I still care and still want to lose weight and get healthy. Although, currently, I feel none of it.

Am I depressed? Does life suck? I honestly don't know ~ beyond the usual 'some things in life always suck'. I just hope some good feelings come back to me soon. Simply 'surviving' really is 'nowhere land'/

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNIC23 3/21/2013 8:14PM

Since this is NOT a private blog I will butt in and say that I'm very sorry you're just getting by to get by right now. That's no fun place to be and I don't miss that feeling in the least! Whatever it is that has you down in the dumps I hope it passes soon. Maybe some real vitamin D in the form of sunshine would do you some good. You may not be ready for Kristina & the Waves "Walking on Sunshine" right now, but maybe you can find solace in some of your favorite POSITIVE music. Play something soothing while you sing along and cook yourself a healthy dinner or chop up a fresh, juicy salad. Kiss the mirror next time you walk by and tell yourself that you are one sexy creature and that you deserve to have an amazing day - this instant! Keeping up with exercise is a big help, hopefully you can stay motivated enough to keep doing that. You're in my thoughts and I'm sending all the good vibes I possibly can!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

PHOENIX1949 3/15/2013 5:57AM

Recently I've told a few folks that I need to take a 'time out' from all but the basic everyday living to renew my energy. Can't hurt, time will tell if it helps. Hang in there. Take care of yourself. Report Inappropriate Comment

IOWAGRAMMA 3/14/2013 8:22PM

There is a way to make private journal entries, but I can't remember what it is. Maybe do a search from the Help tab. Life in general is a lot like your description above--no one can stay on top of the mountain all the time, but you know what? Sounds like you are really hanging in there and I bet you will be "back" soon. Do you get SAD or winter doldrums? Another friend has a terrible time in the winter, but for me, I have found that I cycle in and out of these kinds of feelings. Sending you hugs!! Love, Jeannie Report Inappropriate Comment