Tuesday, July 16, 2013
I lost a relative recently. One I was closer to in my childhood and more distant in my adulthood. It was extremely stressful, being a sudden and unexpected occurrence. Then sitting vigil for two days, hoping against all hope and finally accepting the outcome when the time came.
Of course funerals and the whole process tend to equal food and in my family the food tends to lean toward comfort. Trays and trays of high caloric, ultra carbs, meats, and heavy desserts. Basically a minefield for someone who is trying to maintain their lifestyle changes. Add to it the emotional duress of supporting a very large family in a time of crisis and it just becomes too difficult to stay strong and say no.
But somehow, I did.
I kept on track with my caloric intake and though I imbibed a few more spirits than I usually do, I accounted for them. I wasn't as active that week as I would have liked, but I was able to be very social and to support my family (close and extended) which was emotionally rewarding.
I've taken my time to grieve, been very gentle to myself when it gets emotionally tough, but I haven't fallen back into my old habits of stress eating and indulgence.
It's weird to have a tragedy highlight something good, like sustainable change. Yet there it is. I can make it through this tough time and as I continue to change myself I can help the people around me change and maybe eventually those family functions won't be so filled with pitfalls and bad choices.