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So very scared...in need of support!

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Not again.....another new job. This is a good thing it really is but I am so scared. And tired and resistant and just plain scared. As I have mentioned repeatedly it seems we move alot for my husband's work and that's great for the most part but it means I have to reinvent myself and adapt to new places and new jobs. This time around was really difficult given the current job market but I did recieve some offers and instead of going the easy route I took a job that looked to be different and challenging. Big mistake but I've kept at it while still looking. A really intriguing offer sort of fell in my lap and I've decided to take it. But I am scared. Of what? Change. Change. Change. And visibility. And being discovered a fraud. And it not working out and being left with nothing. I'm also afraid of the reaction I will get from my current company and am writing this when I should be writing my two week letter of resignation. I guess I feel somewhat guilty in leaving them with only two weeks notice. I haven't resigned from a job in this way. It has always been due to a move and I've been able to give ample notice and assist in transitioning a new person. But this time is different and after the final meeting yesterday when the job was formally offered and accepted they made it clear they needed me yesterday so two weeks notice it is.
As I read this over the negativity just slaps me in the face and I'm trying to figure out where that is coming from. This will be a good thing, and could be a great thing.
Help?!? I guess I need a good kick in the ..... and a shove out of the plane!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 2/11/2013 10:00AM

    All changes are difficult. Move forward and embrace it.

Of course, by now, all of this has transpired. I'll look to see how it turned out.

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AM.GIRLINBRAZIL 1/28/2013 11:44AM

    Hoping all is going well as you should be at your new job by now!

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REGULARSHOW 1/6/2013 12:33PM

    Change is scary but it can be good. You will be ok, No matter what the world will keep spinning and if something bad does happen, it eventually becomes ok. Sometimes its hard to just breathe when you feel like you need to be prepared to fight. But I guarantee if you take this time that you are using to read this message and just breathe, you will not need to fight.

Try to take a look outside and look at the sun shining through the trees, or whatever landscape you see and see the beauty in it. Take comfort in the fact that it will be there tomorrow to look at and relax.

I you are able to find peace in the midst of chaos. emoticon

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PLUMERIA50 1/5/2013 11:39PM

  Change is a challenge. Change is exciting. Change is scary. Change is part of life
and you are ok. You will be ok tomorrow. You will be even better the day after.

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SWDESERTLOVER 1/5/2013 7:39PM

    You know in your heart what you need to do. Change is almost always scary, but I know you will do great. Besides, we never know how much we can accomplish unless we are willing to get out there and go for it. So, go show them what you're made of - you're gonna do emoticon

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TERIANA 1/5/2013 6:53PM

    Queirida! It is okay to be scared. We all get scared. But how blessed you are to be scared of starting a new job and resigning from a job that did not suit you. Many people are scared because they have no job or have not had a job for quite some time. Here is what I think...there is somebody out there who needs a job and who will love to get the job you are leaving. Think of it as being able to bless someone you do not know. Likewise, the new job will provide you with opportunities to grow and expand.

Here is a "dirty little secret" almost everyone feels like a fraud. It's not because we are frauds, it is because we have an overinflated idea of what others know and we minimize what we know.

You made it in Brazil my dear. That is a HUGE change--new language, culture, different lifestyle, norms and expectations. A new job in the USA will be a piece of cake for you. Envision yourself succeeding beyond your wildest dreams. You will be able to bless your new employer because of the range of skills and life experience you bring to this new opportunity.

Fear not! All is well. And if it you need some extra help your first few days, ask your Guardian Angel to help. Seriously! It is a no-fail antidote to fear. Parabens, beijos mil e boa suerte. Sua amiga Havaiana...

Comment edited on: 1/5/2013 6:56:41 PM

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KALIGIRL 1/5/2013 5:18PM

    Sounds like two major changes. Dealing with a new approach to leaving (2 week notice) and accepting a position where you are needed yesterday are each stressful in themselves.

You knew you were not a good fit for the job you're leaving and it sounds like you have the skills for the new one.

Looks like an excellent decision and we look forward to hearing about your successes!

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PRAIRIECROCUS 1/5/2013 1:51PM

    All the best !
Good luck !

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MOVEITMARY 1/5/2013 11:49AM

    Change is scary... and also exciting and an opportunity for growth. It's totally normal to feel afraid when making a life change. So feel your fear, and do it anyway!

And two weeks' notice is quite standard, there is no need to feel guilty over it.Think of it this way: if the shoe were on the other foot and the company were letting you go, you would be lucky to have two weeks' notice!

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PYNETREE 1/5/2013 9:46AM

    I wish you Strength...the strength to resign current job, and go out on a pleasant note, and the strength to jump into this new endeavor, and give it your all.

You can do this...take that big step!

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MIRAGE727 1/5/2013 9:15AM

    Embrace new challenges. Whether it's running a Half Marathon, a Marathon, 10K, or going into a new job. Focus on the positive. I traveled all over the world with my family. My Dad was in the State Dept. My sis and I went to at least 10 schools from 1st grade to being a Senior in High School. I went to 5 Universities. I learned to adapt at an early age. I also learned that if I went into it with energy and a positive attitude, I could overcome anything. It's the same with our healthy lifestyle journey. Embrace it to the fullest.
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PICKIE98 1/5/2013 8:29AM

    Do you feel guilty only because you did things differently this time? If so, change is the hardest thing.
Staying in a job that you dislike or know you are not qualified for, is not fair to you or your employer. If you feel that somebody else can do better, move on.

Unless you are in charge of a life and death situation, be patient with yourself and go into next job honestly, with your self and them. A year from now you will see how change is good.

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EVIE4NOW 1/5/2013 8:28AM

  Change will always be there. Fact of Life!!! Embrace it and carry on. There is really no other choice. Without change you remain stagnant and in a rut. There was obviously a reason you were job hunting in the first place and the new job seems to be a much better fit? Go for it and don't look back. Good Luck.
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Happy New Year!

Friday, December 28, 2012

Just wanted to wish everyone a very happy, healthy, and delightful holiday season. We are traveling and enjoying our time off. We started the holiday with family and are now cozied up in a cabin in the mountains of West Virginia. Going skiing tomorrow and Sunday! Excited and scared but up for the challenge.

Saw some very interesting behaviors around food and eating this holiday. What do I take away from this? I don't know. I do know that I have been eating alot more than I ususally do and have not had a place to do a big workout session (though I have been using You Tube and Coach Nicole). But, unlike a few earlier seasonal binges, I have been enjoying what I've been eating (a whole bagel rather than a half, juice instead of fruit) and know that when we get back my gym is there, my blender for vegetable smoothies are there, and I will get back to it!

So...my very best to all of you and the very happiest 2013!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOOKISHFABLER 12/31/2012 6:49AM

    You enjoy yourself. Hope you have a fabulous new year.
hugs
Heidi

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Holiday Treating

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Ok, just to get it down and out there. I have been eating too many treats! And I'm going to stop! So far, it hasn't resulted in any gains but I'm just not enjoying it. For example, last night we were gifted with Mrs. Field's Cookie Dough covered In Chocolate(?) which I just senselessly ate because it was there and the week before there were some extra chocolate Santas that were left over that found their way into my mouth. Didn't really want them, crave them, even enjoy them. But I ate them all the same. Enough! I know my body....with these episodes no weight creeps on little by little. Instead, one day, I'll put my pants on and they won't fit. And I'll think, how did that happen, and the guilt, and the anger, and the.....ENOUGH! I'm not going there! Tracking and awareness and concious clean eating.

Happy Holidays all and here's to enjoying our choices!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSGO72 12/16/2012 3:56PM

  Hang in there!

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DIBANANA 12/16/2012 3:34PM

  Sometimes it is the leftover mind games we had in the past. We used to like those things and think it will make us happy to eat them. Good for you. Don't waste calories on things that aren't good to taste or good for you!

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But if you try, you get what you need....

Monday, September 03, 2012

Just a little follow up. Ended up being offered the library position and after much soul searching decided to stay with the hospital. I wanted the challenge and new experience and felt like I should stay in something more aligned to my profession. I'm still on the teeter totter of doubt and acceptance but I'm working to put that in a box on a high shelf in my mind and truly commit myself to this new opportunity.
Wish me luck,
Michele

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERIANA 10/7/2012 2:33PM

    Pra vente Michele, just keep moving forward.

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KALIGIRL 9/4/2012 9:10AM

    Sounds like a super choice!

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AM.GIRLINBRAZIL 9/3/2012 7:14PM

    Sorry I didn't see your first post about the job. I hope as the months go by you'll find more acceptance and surety of your decision. Thinking about you and happy that we can keep up with each other here on SP. Take care and just keep swimming, swimming like the little fish on Finding Nemo!

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SWDESERTLOVER 9/3/2012 12:18PM

    Good luck to you! I'm sure you're going to do great. emoticon

Cindy

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You don't always get what you want.....

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Feeling so mixed up and sad and anxious. We moved here six months ago and I have been working to get a full time teaching position. I had a few interviews and felt confident about one in particular and was offered instead a long term sub position which I accepted with the clause that I would continue to look for full time work. So….I continued to look and got a position as a hospital educator working for a for-profit company. So what’s the problem? I don’t really know. I want a job and I worked hard to get this one. It doesn’t pay as much but it doesn’t require the plus 50 hours that I know public teaching requires. I did a teaching demo and was able to meet other staff members and learn more about the organization. It seems like a good company. But now, my emotions are out of control and I feel like I have nowhere to seek advice and basically vent my fears and misgivings. I don’t want to share this with my husband, family, and close friends who have been so supportive about my job search. I want to focus on the good things but I feel like I might have sold out. The good/bad thing is it is a year contract and I can also terminate it whenever I wish. The bad thing is I turned down two long term sub positions to take this. The good thing is it’s full time for twelve months. The bad thing is it’s not in a school….etc. I keep asking myself, did I sell out, did I panic, did I jump into something out of desperation? I’m feeling so anxious and sad almost sick to my stomach. I would have loved to work at the school I thought I was right for but I was not chosen for that position so in addition to this sadness I’m holding on to a lot of resentment and self doubt. Again, the good thing is I got a job, I have a place to go, I am an educator working with students who are really in need. The bad thing is it won’t be like my former classrooms - I am giving that up it seems. Sorry about this messy emotional blathering – thank you for letting me get this out there. Now that I’ve spewed I’m going to let it sit and come back and list all the positive attributes that this position holds and can hold. I still have an interview on Thursday for a children’s librarian position and I might make one last stab at a private school in the area. But until then, thank you for letting me put this out there.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMANDA_AGAIN 8/8/2012 9:41AM

    Sorry to hear you're going through this. Having just moved and done the whole job/house/friend thing I know exactly what you're going through.

I hope it gets better.

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KALIGIRL 8/8/2012 8:51AM

    Sorry for your stress - hope that you find educating adults as fulfilling as children for however long you chose to do so.
Namaste

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LAURAAT 8/8/2012 8:43AM

    I hope the venting helped you feel a little better. I use my blog as an outlet a lot, and it always helps.
Hopefully you will find the guidance you need, and feel comfortable with the decision you make in the end. If the job you took is a year contract, can you use that time to do some soul-searching to decide what the right thing to do is? Whatever you decide, you have all of our support!
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WORDGIRL830 8/7/2012 5:50PM

    I know what you mean about not being sure if you made the right decision. But I believe there is a reason that you didn't get the position you wanted, and it has nothing to do with you. Last year, I was transferred to two different schools. I didn't ask for the transfer, and I was bitter for several months into the school year because I loved the school where I was. I spent a lot of time venting to close family, praying and crying. It turns out that the situation at my last school wasn't as positive as I thought, and many of the people are running to get out. There is a reason why you were offerred this position and not the other one. Take it one day at a time, and believe that the reason will be revealed to you when it is time. For right now, use the gifts I can tell that you have where you are. It may be an opportunity for growth. I will pray that God will settle your spirit. I believe you might be headed toward a blessing. Take care.

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CURVYCC 8/7/2012 5:33PM

    emoticon

We are here to support each other. Glad I was able to read your rant. Like you said now you can sit back and come back and list the positive attributes. You will make the right decision.

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