Friday, December 28, 2012
Just wanted to wish everyone a very happy, healthy, and delightful holiday season. We are traveling and enjoying our time off. We started the holiday with family and are now cozied up in a cabin in the mountains of West Virginia. Going skiing tomorrow and Sunday! Excited and scared but up for the challenge.
Saw some very interesting behaviors around food and eating this holiday. What do I take away from this? I don't know. I do know that I have been eating alot more than I ususally do and have not had a place to do a big workout session (though I have been using You Tube and Coach Nicole). But, unlike a few earlier seasonal binges, I have been enjoying what I've been eating (a whole bagel rather than a half, juice instead of fruit) and know that when we get back my gym is there, my blender for vegetable smoothies are there, and I will get back to it!
So...my very best to all of you and the very happiest 2013!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Ok, just to get it down and out there. I have been eating too many treats! And I'm going to stop! So far, it hasn't resulted in any gains but I'm just not enjoying it. For example, last night we were gifted with Mrs. Field's Cookie Dough covered In Chocolate(?) which I just senselessly ate because it was there and the week before there were some extra chocolate Santas that were left over that found their way into my mouth. Didn't really want them, crave them, even enjoy them. But I ate them all the same. Enough! I know my body....with these episodes no weight creeps on little by little. Instead, one day, I'll put my pants on and they won't fit. And I'll think, how did that happen, and the guilt, and the anger, and the.....ENOUGH! I'm not going there! Tracking and awareness and concious clean eating.
Happy Holidays all and here's to enjoying our choices!
Monday, September 03, 2012
Just a little follow up. Ended up being offered the library position and after much soul searching decided to stay with the hospital. I wanted the challenge and new experience and felt like I should stay in something more aligned to my profession. I'm still on the teeter totter of doubt and acceptance but I'm working to put that in a box on a high shelf in my mind and truly commit myself to this new opportunity.
Wish me luck,
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
Feeling so mixed up and sad and anxious. We moved here six months ago and I have been working to get a full time teaching position. I had a few interviews and felt confident about one in particular and was offered instead a long term sub position which I accepted with the clause that I would continue to look for full time work. SoÖ.I continued to look and got a position as a hospital educator working for a for-profit company. So whatís the problem? I donít really know. I want a job and I worked hard to get this one. It doesnít pay as much but it doesnít require the plus 50 hours that I know public teaching requires. I did a teaching demo and was able to meet other staff members and learn more about the organization. It seems like a good company. But now, my emotions are out of control and I feel like I have nowhere to seek advice and basically vent my fears and misgivings. I donít want to share this with my husband, family, and close friends who have been so supportive about my job search. I want to focus on the good things but I feel like I might have sold out. The good/bad thing is it is a year contract and I can also terminate it whenever I wish. The bad thing is I turned down two long term sub positions to take this. The good thing is itís full time for twelve months. The bad thing is itís not in a schoolÖ.etc. I keep asking myself, did I sell out, did I panic, did I jump into something out of desperation? Iím feeling so anxious and sad almost sick to my stomach. I would have loved to work at the school I thought I was right for but I was not chosen for that position so in addition to this sadness Iím holding on to a lot of resentment and self doubt. Again, the good thing is I got a job, I have a place to go, I am an educator working with students who are really in need. The bad thing is it wonít be like my former classrooms - I am giving that up it seems. Sorry about this messy emotional blathering Ė thank you for letting me get this out there. Now that Iíve spewed Iím going to let it sit and come back and list all the positive attributes that this position holds and can hold. I still have an interview on Thursday for a childrenís librarian position and I might make one last stab at a private school in the area. But until then, thank you for letting me put this out there.
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