Monday, August 20, 2012
You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days, viz., Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, and others. You've probably heard of them before, but don't you miss their humour? Not one single swear word in their comedy.
* There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door on night! I finally had to let her out.
* A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!
* What are three words does a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"
* Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
* The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60. Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"*
* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"
* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
* Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
On Friday we left Amsterdam by train to Liege. It was a long journey but luckily without changing trains! Liege is near the border with Holland. It has a very modern, striking station.
The hotel I booked turned out to be a 40 min bus ride from Liege! It turned out that the one in Liege is being renovated so they put everyone at the moment in Boncelles, lol.
Next morning we took the bus to Liege and then a train to Spa, just 30 km away. It's a resort town recommended by DD#2. We walked around, had a nice lunch, took the funicular railway to the top and then tried to get home. Well....it took hours! The train timetable was incorrect, had to wait an extra 50 min on the station, then when we got to Liege couldn't find a bus to take us back to Boncelles.
By that time I had enough, so we got into a cab and got to the hotel 30 min later and 21 euros poorer, lol.
On Sunday after a 3 hour train journey we got toa rainy Luxembourg City. Got a taxi to our hotel and it turned out we're 10 min away from downtown and way too far to walk there. The rain didn't let up at all, so we stayed in and read and made good use of the complimentary internet. The hotel is better than the usual ones we stay in. Spacious room, big bathroom and perfect wifi connection. Nice breakfast every morning included! Bus stop downtown opposite the hotel and only 10 min ride for 1.50 euro valid for 2 hours.
Next morning was overcast and cool, where's summer? The bus took us to the city and we just walked around with all other tourists and took a City Promenade walking tour after lunch. Had a lovely guide-Robert, a native of Luxembourg, around 75 and speaking fluent English and German. He'd first explain everything in English and then the same in German.
You could tell that he really enjoyed taking us all around and talking about his favourite subject.
The country was founded in 963 AD but for many centuries been invaded by the Dutch, French, German and Spanish armies and eventually won it's independence in 1815.
We walked to the P.M.'s residence, like 10 Downing Street in London and not a guard in sight.
The same outside the beautiful Ducal Palace, just a 20 something ceremonial soldier.
We passed a restaurant that Robert mentioned has a Michelin star. While he was explaining in German, I went in and got their business card with the address & phone #.
At the end of our tour I asked a girl at the Tourist Information to reserve a table for us.
Luxembourg City is an old walled city of almost 200,000 inhabitants. The guide told us that there are people from 153 nations in Luxembourg, therefore no shortage or variety of places
to eat. We had a lovely meal that night.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
On Wednesday 20th after another great breakfast we went to Hermitage, Amsterdam.
It is a fairly new gallery that's connected with Hermitage, St. Petersburg in Russia and they exhibit paintings and sculptures in Amsterdam.
The present exhibition is called Impressionism and we saw world-famous paintings by Monet, Renoir, Pissarro, Delacroix, Gaugin, Cezanne and others. A great overview of more than five decades of French painting. Those beauties have been laying hidden in the vaults of the Russian museum for almost 2 centuries.
After lunch we took a bus tour to Delft and it's famous pottery factory, the capital-Hague and then to the lovely miniature town of Madurodam.
Another busy and tiring day with over 16,000 steps walked!
On Thursday, before breakfast I did my 20 min resistance band workout. I try to do it every other day, about 3 times/week. I don't get a chance to do any other form of ST while on holidays.
After a delicious breakfast included in our accommodation charge, we walked over to Rijksmuseum. Spent almost 3 hours admiring some of their collection of 17th Century Dutch painting and sculptures.
The Rembrandt paintings were just amazing including The Night Watchmen and his self portraits.
After lunch we walked across Museum Plein to the Van Gogh Museum. Vincent van Gogh is one of the most famous Dutch artists of all time. He was only active as an artist for 10 years: from 1880 until his death in 1890. In those 10 years he produced about 800 paintings, over 1000 drawings as well as a large number of watercolours, lithographs and sketches in letters.
At the Museum shop I bought myself a gorgeous silk scarf after his painting "Seascape near Les Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer Arles" and didn't forget my GD's, getting them some colouring pencils and highlighters.
Then it was a walk back to the hotel and a visit to a laundrette, luckily not far.
Tonight went to dinner to a traditional Dutch restaurant Haesje Claes.
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