Monday, April 30, 2012
By the time you read through this you will understand "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS".
And only then will you be ready to take on China !
Believe me... you WILL understand!!! Here goes...
The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a Hotel guest &
room-service in China ...
Room Service: "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service."
Room Service: " Rye , Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?"
Guest: "Uh... Yes, I'd like to order bacon & eggs."
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"
Guest: " .......What??"
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry..
Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken? Creepse?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: "Hokay. An sahn toes?"
Room Service: "An toes. ulai sahn toes?"
Guest: "I.... Don't think so.."
RoomService: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means."
RoomService: "Toes! Toes!... Why Uoo don wan toes?...
Ow bow anglish moppin we botter?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RoomService: "We botter?"
Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."
Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."
Guest: "Excuse me?"
RoomService: "Copy.. tea... meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."
RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, Anglish moppin, we
botter on sigh & copy... Rye ??"
Guest: "Whatever you say."
Guest: "You're welcome"
Remember I did say "By the time you read through this...
.. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS'
And you do, don't you!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Thought you'd enjoy this!
It's one you want your Children and Grandchildren to read. They won't believe this happened, but it DID.
(This seems unreal.)
Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.
The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri . His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.
When he retired from office in 1952 his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.
After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.
When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."
Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honour on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."
As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.
Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale (cf. Illinois ).
Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!
I say dig him up and clone him!
Enjoy life now -- it has an expiration date!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
A friend of a friend of mine was sitting on a front lawn sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn.
He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair.
“My goodness” he exclaimed, “you are quite old to be driving!”
“Yes” he replied,” I am old enough that I don’t need a license anymore ”
“The last time I went to my doctor he examined me, and asked if I had a driving licence. I told him yes and handed it to him.
He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the licence into pieces and threw them in the
”You won’t be needing this anymore”, he said.
"So I thanked him and left.”
Saturday, March 24, 2012
We are all adults, and hope we all have a good sense of humor. This was just too funny to not share.
A lady helps her man install a new computer. Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, a word that he'll always remember.
As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, he selects a word but he is annoyed with her reaction, when he selects: penis.
As he hits "enter", to validate the selection, his wife collapses with laughter and rolls on the floor in hysteria .
The computer had replied: TOO SHORT- ACCESS DENIED!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City .
The taxi driver, who happened to be an old Jewish man, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.
He made no attempt to start the cab.
She said to him: “What’s wrong with you? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”
The old man said: “Lady, I’m not staring at you, I am telling you, det vould not be proper vair I come from”.
She said: “Well, if you’re not staring at my boobs, what are you doing then?”
He said: “Vell, I am looking and I’m looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride.”
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