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# Pretty sure these are all true. Would I lie??????

### Monday, November 07, 2011

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

15. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

17. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

18. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

 PAULAAUTUMN 11/13/2011 7:29AM So true love this post it made me smile Report Inappropriate Comment
 ARTPRINTER 11/9/2011 9:56PM These are great and so true! I especially like #8! Thanks for sharing. Report Inappropriate Comment
 MARNIKENNEDY 11/8/2011 4:08PM Funny post, I enjoyed it, Thanks! Report Inappropriate Comment
 DESERTDREAMERS 11/8/2011 11:03AM Too true! Report Inappropriate Comment
 GOANNA2 11/7/2011 4:27PM So true. The wrong number happens to me so much. Report Inappropriate Comment
 L*I*T*A* 11/7/2011 11:58AM Report Inappropriate Comment
 SHUTRBUG1 11/7/2011 11:49AM These explain a LOT about my life!! Report Inappropriate Comment
 ILOVEROSES 11/7/2011 8:03AM That would be similar to #13. Report Inappropriate Comment
 PHEBESS 11/7/2011 7:51AM And of course, there's the butter law (or is it the toast law) - when you drop buttered toast, it ALWAYS falls butter side down - since the butter is heavier, of course. Report Inappropriate Comment
 ILOVEROSES 11/7/2011 7:27AM I certainly agree with you about #19! Report Inappropriate Comment
 GAYLLYNNE 11/7/2011 7:19AM These are great!! How about 19: when you come home from shopping, finally get the door open because of all the packages, run inside to use the bathroom and as soon as you sit down, the phone will ring. Happens every time. Thanks for posting this. It's just great!!! Report Inappropriate Comment
 SUSIEPH1 11/7/2011 4:13AM Exactly and so true!! Thanks for the giggle !!Hugs Report Inappropriate Comment
 SEYSARAH 11/7/2011 3:54AM Delightfully funny and like Minna, found myself chuckling and nodding my head up and down. Thanks so much for sharing! Report Inappropriate Comment
 MINNA72 11/7/2011 3:16AM OMG... I found myself nodding like a string puppet. So fricken TRUE! Report Inappropriate Comment
 WINDSONG~ 11/7/2011 2:40AM Report Inappropriate Comment

# What is Old?

### Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Choose one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN…. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN… A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by.... The doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fibre today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to wee.

 SPARKENISTA 10/31/2011 1:49PM You are a riot. This is genuinely funny. Thanks for commenting on my blog. I will write the answer to your question on your page. Report Inappropriate Comment
 AIDELADE27 10/23/2011 11:07PM Sending this one to my uncle. Thanks for the laugh! Report Inappropriate Comment
 THISISIT-PA 10/19/2011 9:31PM So silly, thanks! Report Inappropriate Comment
 GOANNA2 10/19/2011 5:55PM Love them all. Report Inappropriate Comment
 BUSYMOM911 10/19/2011 1:53AM Good ones! I especially like the last two. Report Inappropriate Comment
 SUSIEPH1 10/18/2011 5:27PM Report Inappropriate Comment
 INGMARIE 10/18/2011 4:38PM You forgot one:Me, last week, after a fall into my own suitecase,oh well I am younger this week and back at gym. Thanks for your funny blogs , love them. Report Inappropriate Comment
 L*I*T*A* 10/18/2011 2:45PM Report Inappropriate Comment
 MARITIMER3 10/18/2011 2:38PM So cute - I read selected ones out loud to my husband. Report Inappropriate Comment
 PEGGYO 10/18/2011 10:20AM funny Report Inappropriate Comment

# Our next trip - Wonders of the American West!

### Sunday, September 25, 2011

Well, our first trip is just over and what a trip! We've had so much fun, great company with 38 other people, good Tour Director and Coach Driver and such beautiful places we visited! WOW! I will post photos, plenty taken but having problems with posting them on SP, lol.

Our next tour starts very early tomorrow at 8am with a 6am wake up call. Our first stop will be the quaint alpine village of Vail. We will continue west through the breathtaking Rocky Mountains, entering Utah and take in the spectacular red rock scenery of Castle Valley in the afternoon. We spend the night at Red Cliffs Lodge after a Cowboy BBQ on the banks of the Colorado River.

On Monday we explore Canyonlands N.P. and stop at the Island in the Sky, a mesa resting 1000 feet above the surrounding terrain. We had the afternoon at leisure and at 5pm we going for dinner and then an exciting sunset jet boat ride on the mighty Colorado River!

Tuesday sees us visiting Arches National Park! Then head south and back to Colorado and Anasazi Heritage Center. We end the day at Mesa Verde after enjoying a gourmet dinner inspired by Native American flavours.

Next morning we enjoy an in-depth visit of fascinating Mesa Verde. We continue to Monument Valley Navajo Tribal Park. We finnish the day with a Navajo ncookout amidst the giant buttes and mesas of this unique landscape while listening to Navajo storytelling and music.

On Thursday we head to Lake Powell, the second largest man-made lake in United States. We will board a ferry at Hall's Crossing and cross the lake to Bullfrog Marina and our lodge.

Friday we head to Capital Reef N.P. best known for its Waterpocket Fold, a 100-mile-long warp in the earth's crust. Then we journey along one of the most beautiful roads in the world, Scenic Byway 12, winding through stunning Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument. Arrive at Bryce Canyon N.P. and travel the length of this great natural amphitheatre.

Next morning we enjoy a last look at Bryce Canyon's orange and red rock formations glowing in the early morning light before heading to Zion N.P.
Later we head south into Arizona to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon N.P. In the evening we watch the colours change by the minute as the sun sets on the canyon.

On Sunday we journey along the winding Cape Royal Scenic Drive to Point Imperial and Cape Royal for dazzling panoramas over the Grand Canyon. The afternoon is free, perhaps taking a self-guided nature walk along one of the many trails.

Next morning we get to Las Vegas and I get to meet two of my Spark Friends, Jo Ann from Arizona and Grace from New Mexico!

 SPARKENISTA 11/1/2011 11:51PM This sounds like it was an amazing trip! I have been to Bryce & Zion and National Parks as well as The Grand Tetons. I will never forget those sights.I hope you had a great time! Report Inappropriate Comment
 OPALMOON 10/3/2011 1:42AM I'm sure you will enjoy every moment is this incredible trip! Report Inappropriate Comment
 WYOMOL 9/27/2011 8:18AM What a wonderful trip - i LOVE all those spots! Just wish you were coming to Wyoming! Report Inappropriate Comment
 JOPAPGH 9/26/2011 1:38PM I can vouche for North Rim of Grand Canyon and Mesa Verde. Soulds like a great adventure with good food and vistas.Enjoy! Report Inappropriate Comment
 JUDYBUGS 9/26/2011 4:09AM WOW! Ania - you're seeing more of the States than I have and I've lived here all my life. You are enjoying such an amazing trip - can't wait to see the photos. Let us know when you're able to upload them, which I know won't be for a little while. Report Inappropriate Comment
 MYLLA_R 9/25/2011 10:28PM Sounds like an amazing trip! I'm jealous! Report Inappropriate Comment
 GRATEFULADY 9/25/2011 4:31PM So glad you are keeping us up on your travels. You will be seeing some fantastic territory. Enjoy Arches, Zion, Bryce.......oh all of them!!! And especially what fun to look forward to seeing Grace and JoAnn......what fun you will have!!! Report Inappropriate Comment
 DIDMIS 9/25/2011 4:28PM trip and how exciting you get to end it with a visit with two of your 's.I have met several of our local sparke friends down here.God bless on the rest of your trip. Report Inappropriate Comment
 PHEBESS 9/25/2011 11:49AM WOW, sounds wonderful!!!!!! Keep having a fabulous trip! Report Inappropriate Comment
 L*I*T*A* 9/25/2011 5:29AM what an awesome and delightful journey you are taking...great agenda....thanks for your updates..waiting for your photos...blessings and hugs..............lita Report Inappropriate Comment
 GOANNA2 9/25/2011 4:09AM So glad you are having a great time.Enjoy the wonderful places and I amenvious. Report Inappropriate Comment
 DOOBRIE 9/25/2011 3:36AM Oh my - how awesome! This really is a trip of a lifetime isn't it? I am now going to have to look up all those places on Google. Can't wait to see the photos.Have a fantastic time! Report Inappropriate Comment
 NANT406 9/25/2011 2:03AM Wow! You've been busy. Sounds like you're having a great time. Let me know what you think about the Native American food. Thanks for keeping us updated. Report Inappropriate Comment
 2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ 9/25/2011 1:59AM Breath taking is putting it mildly. See you really soon! Report Inappropriate Comment
 SUSIEPH1 9/25/2011 1:33AM Such a awesome trip Ania... One you will never forget!Enjoy my friend!!Love and Hugs Susie Report Inappropriate Comment
 GRACIEC 9/25/2011 1:10AM You are going to love this trip! The views are unbelievable and the skyline is breathtaking! Report Inappropriate Comment

# Our first tour - American Parks Trail!

### Tuesday, September 13, 2011

On Friday 16th September we begin the first of our 2 coach tours of National Parks.
This was the reason for our 7 week holidaying around the USA. Once we got those tours organized, everything else fell into place, including meeting so many of my Spark Friends!

We start from Salt Lake City, after an orientation tour we travel across the Oregon Trail and visit historic Jackson, Wyoming. After exploring Grand Teton NP we enter Yellowstone NP and spend a day there. We then travel through the Shoshone Canyon & Absaroka Rocky Mountains to the historic town of Cody, to visit the Buffalo Bill Historical Center. Then it's to the old cattle town of Billings, Montana.

We will relive 'Custer's Last Stand' at the Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument. We continue across the great high plains to the Black Hills of South Dakota, and onto Custer State Park.
Next day we go to Crazy Horse Memorial. We will visit Mt. Rushmore National Memorial.

We then leave SD to travel across the grasslands & high plains of Wyoming. Stop @ historic Fort Laramie and continue to the Wild West town of Cheyenne.

On our last day we travel south and climb high into breathtaking Rocky Mountain NP, across the Continental Divide and over Trail Ridge Road to follow the beginnings of the great Colorado River to arrive at our destination - Mile High City of Denver.

That's the end of our first tour on 24th September!

 OPALMOON 10/3/2011 1:39AM Sounds great!! Report Inappropriate Comment
 JOPAPGH 9/26/2011 1:41PM My sister lives just outside Yellowstone in Bozeman, MT, so I have seen many of these sights with my family in a 29 foot RV.Enjoy yourself.Jealous about Rocky Mountain N.P. as we never made it that far. Report Inappropriate Comment
 EPSIGSIREN 9/14/2011 8:28PM Very cool! I took a really fast cross country trip with my friend four years ago (5000 miles in 8 days!) and we went from Mt. Rushmore one afternoon to Cody Wyoming the following morning (bright and early including an hour napping in the parking lot before they opened). My friend is actually related to Buffalo Bill so it was pretty cool. Then we spent the night at Yellowstone, drove down through the Grand Tetons and were at Salt Lake City by dark. I hope you have a great time, I'd love to go back to Yellowstone for more time. Report Inappropriate Comment
 GOANNA2 9/14/2011 12:38PM Wow, sounds like a wonderful adventure Ania.Aave a great time. Report Inappropriate Comment
 LIZZYP609 9/14/2011 9:02AM Oh that sounds like SO much fun!! I am jealous!!We did our own tour for some great national parks in the south west! we have vowed the North west is next!! Have a great time!! Report Inappropriate Comment
 NANT406 9/14/2011 8:47AM Report Inappropriate Comment
 MARYELLEN301 9/14/2011 8:09AM A few summers ago my girlfriend and I did almost the exact tour and we loved it! We started in Las Vegas and did Bryce and Zion before we got to Salt Lake City. There are several more parks further south that we have vowed to visit but so far have not planned. One of these days! You will love the rest of your trip as much as the first part. We live in a beautiful country! Enjoy every minute of it! Report Inappropriate Comment
 INGMARIE 9/14/2011 7:34AM WOW sounds great post pictures if you can ?Have a good time. Report Inappropriate Comment
 PHEBESS 9/14/2011 5:48AM Sounds wonderful!!!!! Please post photos as you go! Report Inappropriate Comment
 TRYINGHARD1948 9/14/2011 4:47AM A wonderful tour, so glad you shared. Enjoy. Report Inappropriate Comment
 DOOBRIE 9/14/2011 1:36AM Wow, what a trip! Hope you have a great time. Report Inappropriate Comment
 L*I*T*A* 9/14/2011 12:40AM sounds like an awesome time....keep posting your journey!!!travel safe.....blessings and hugs......lita Comment edited on: 9/14/2011 12:40:20 AM Report Inappropriate Comment
 SUSIEPH1 9/14/2011 12:11AM Sounds just wonderful Ania!! Hope you have a wondeful time!! Hugs Report Inappropriate Comment
 ETTEZEUS 9/13/2011 11:27PM I'm so envious!What a great time you will have!! Report Inappropriate Comment

# Just Kidding!

### Friday, August 12, 2011

After being married for thirty years....a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot."

She smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so lovely.....What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

His eye is still swollen.....but it will get better.............

 LIZZYP609 8/21/2011 10:02PM HA! that is awesome!! LOL Report Inappropriate Comment
 CANDIS799 8/19/2011 1:08PM LOL No I can appreciate the marriage jokes! Hope your vacation is going well!! Report Inappropriate Comment
 SUSIEPH1 8/15/2011 12:52AM Report Inappropriate Comment
 CLAVINOVA 8/14/2011 6:49PM Very cute - thanks for sharing with us! Report Inappropriate Comment
 LIZ329 8/14/2011 7:46AM Nice, thanks for the chuckle! Report Inappropriate Comment
 ROCKYCPA 8/13/2011 7:27PM Report Inappropriate Comment
 EDDYMEESE 8/13/2011 1:03AM Cute :) Report Inappropriate Comment
 GOANNA2 8/12/2011 3:48PM Report Inappropriate Comment
 L*I*T*A* 8/12/2011 11:58AM Report Inappropriate Comment
 MILLISMA 8/12/2011 8:57AM Gonna have to share this one! Report Inappropriate Comment
 JHOPPER 8/12/2011 8:40AM That's a good one Ania - great way to start the day! Report Inappropriate Comment
 PEGGYO 8/12/2011 7:47AM Starting off my day with a laugh Report Inappropriate Comment
 INGMARIE 8/12/2011 7:47AM Great start of the day.thanks for the giggles. Report Inappropriate Comment
 NANT406 8/12/2011 3:59AM Good one Ania! Thanks for sharing the laughter. Report Inappropriate Comment

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