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ILOVEROSES's Recent Blog Entries

Never Lie to a Woman!!!

Friday, July 15, 2011

A man called home to his wife and said, " Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends .

We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up"

" Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. "

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?"

You'll love the answer...




The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box ..."

Never Lie To A Woman...!!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

*MADHU* 7/18/2011 11:38AM

    This is great emoticon

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BAKERICLISA 7/17/2011 7:18AM

    emoticon

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PEGGYO 7/16/2011 8:43AM

    Caught!

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GOHUSKERS2 7/16/2011 8:35AM

    I love it!!! Thanks for the laughs!

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PHEBESS 7/15/2011 11:19PM

    Yup!

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SUSIEPH1 7/15/2011 10:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 7/15/2011 10:21PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WENDYJM4 7/15/2011 9:57PM

    emoticon

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MELIVA 7/15/2011 9:44PM

    This is hilarious! Thanks for the giggles!

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INGMARIE 7/15/2011 9:42PM

    love it.

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CATHYJR73 7/15/2011 9:16PM

    That is perfect Thank you!!

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The Bathtub Test

Friday, July 15, 2011

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether
or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want to be near a window?"

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

*MADHU* 7/18/2011 11:39AM

    emoticon

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WENDYJM4 7/15/2011 9:58PM

    emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 7/15/2011 7:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DOOBRIE 7/15/2011 3:40PM

    Yes, but can I have the one near the window?

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PEGGYO 7/15/2011 2:44PM

    funny

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MILLISMA 7/15/2011 1:32PM

    One of my favorites emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 7/15/2011 10:08AM

    emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 7/15/2011 9:32AM

    LOL!

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KERRYRHOTEN 7/15/2011 9:10AM

  Funny

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Vatican Humor

Thursday, July 14, 2011

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth, ' says the Pope, ' they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today. '

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 230 kph. (Remember, the Pope is German)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 230 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

*MADHU* 7/18/2011 11:40AM

    emoticon emoticon

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DOOBRIE 7/15/2011 3:42PM

    That's hilarious!

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ILOVEROSES 7/14/2011 11:40PM

    So glad you're all enjoying it! emoticon

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PATJ7084 7/14/2011 5:29PM

    BRILLIANT emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 7/14/2011 4:49PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GEEKYGRANDMOMMY 7/14/2011 3:54PM

    lol

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SUZIEQS65 7/14/2011 3:36PM

    OMG!...*LMAO*

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PEGGYO 7/14/2011 3:23PM

    Very funny

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DESERTDREAMERS 7/14/2011 12:24PM

    Oh, too cute!

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GOHUSKERS2 7/14/2011 11:11AM

    Very cute!!! emoticon

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PHEBESS 7/14/2011 10:53AM

    HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

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L*I*T*A* 7/14/2011 9:53AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SOXFAN76 7/14/2011 9:40AM

  Funny joke. I might have to use that one. emoticon

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The Irish.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems.
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and
they're going to drill for their own oil.





My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going
out for a pint of milk & never come back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said, "Not bad, I've been
using that powdered stuff."





The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."





Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road.
The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know dis face but I can't put a name to it."
The second picks it up & says, "You daft bastard it's me!"



Paddy's in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies.
"It should be round your neck," says the guard.
"I tried that," says Paddy, "but I couldn't breathe."





Two Irishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house.
Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you
throwing them away?"
"Because they're upside down," says Paddy.
"You daft prat," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILLISMA 7/13/2011 7:58PM

    These are good. I have some Irish friends I need to send them too emoticon

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PEGGYO 7/13/2011 3:45PM

    Hey, I'm Irish

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L*I*T*A* 7/13/2011 10:15AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYELLEN301 7/13/2011 8:50AM

    Too, too funny. I'll have to save these for my trip to Ireland in Sept!

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MRE1956 7/13/2011 8:44AM

    From someone who's half-Irish, just gotta say.....

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INFLATED 7/13/2011 6:28AM

    LOL!

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    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Great Female Humour.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.'s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc.

Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to Afghanistan '

An old Master Sergeant sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman? '

When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?'

'Yes,'! said the attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.'


'My God,' he said, 'I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.'

'That's another thing, Sergeant,' said the crew member, 'We No Longer Call It "The Cockpit". It's "The Box Office".'


Quote of the Day.


'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So... if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of sh*t.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

*MADHU* 7/13/2011 9:57AM

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GOHUSKERS2 7/12/2011 2:32PM

    Love it....thanks for sharing!! emoticon

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PHEBESS 7/12/2011 12:28PM

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L*I*T*A* 7/12/2011 7:31AM

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