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ILOVEROSES's Recent Blog Entries

TWO HILLBILLIES AND A MIRROR

Friday, June 24, 2011

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly
decided it was time to visit the big city.

In one of the big city stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.
Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back
at him, 'How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy.'
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy, but on the way home he remembered his wife, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn.

Every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.
As she looked in the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin'
around with.'
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 6/25/2011 9:01PM

    I had to read this one to my husband. We are kin to hillbillies.


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DOOBRIE 6/25/2011 4:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WENDYJM4 6/25/2011 9:30AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JUSTLYLE 6/25/2011 8:08AM

    A farmer sure loves those farmer jokes. Gave me my laugh for the day.
Happy Sparkin!

Skeeter emoticon

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TOMWDCSKC 6/25/2011 7:49AM

    This is a very funny joke. emoticon emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 6/25/2011 7:26AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 6/25/2011 6:19AM

    oh, noes! funny emoticon

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KPACE7 6/24/2011 11:21PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 6/24/2011 11:15PM

    emoticon

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CAZ5346 6/24/2011 10:51PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MILLISMA 6/24/2011 10:36PM

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SUSIEPH1 6/24/2011 9:54PM

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Words of Wisdom for Congressman Weiner....

Thursday, June 23, 2011

In this day and age of online mischief, please take a lesson from Congressman Weiner, and remember this cautionary advice from your Mom:

If you don't want people to think you're a yutz
Nobody has to see pics of your putz
He who doesn't want people to heckle
Shouldn't send twitter pics of their schmeckle!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSM66 6/24/2011 3:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOANNA2 6/24/2011 3:24PM

    Loved it Ania. emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 6/24/2011 5:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MILLISMA 6/23/2011 10:22PM

    LMAO

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SEYSARAH 6/23/2011 7:15PM

    Dennis and I were roaring with laughter...excellent advice!

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PHEBESS 6/23/2011 3:47PM

    ROFL!!!!!

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PEGGYO 6/23/2011 3:17PM

    LOL

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DESERTDREAMERS 6/23/2011 1:47PM

    Love it. Here in New Mexico, we have a state representative named, you guess it, Weiner. He's apparently been telling racist, sexist and other derogatory jokes. What is it about the name that they want to live down to?

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AIDELADE27 6/23/2011 12:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MRE1956 6/23/2011 12:02PM

    What ARLENEEAH said.....

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Be that as it may ..... still good advice!

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FRANNIEDID 6/23/2011 10:39AM

    LOL, thanks for the daily laugh!

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ARLENE_MOVES 6/23/2011 10:09AM

    Thought I was done hearing about Weiner. emoticon

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Oh, to be 8 again!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror ..

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,
'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you f@*#*! retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRYINGHARD1948 6/22/2011 8:22AM

    LOL, and the best thing is - my hubby listens just like this.

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HOLDINGMYOWN 6/22/2011 7:32AM

    Have heard this one before Ania but every time I read through it again ~ it makes me smile~ thanks for sharing it emoticon

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MILLISMA 6/21/2011 10:54PM

    I love this one!

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SUSIEPH1 6/21/2011 5:41PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 6/21/2011 3:56PM

    Love it!

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*MADHU* 6/21/2011 11:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CAT_TAFT 6/21/2011 10:35AM

    I love that he tried, though lol

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CAT_TAFT 6/21/2011 10:29AM

    LOL I love it

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L*I*T*A* 6/21/2011 9:51AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ARLENE_MOVES 6/21/2011 9:47AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon and I'm still laughing!!

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NANT406 6/21/2011 9:37AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon I really like this one! Thanks for sharing.

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Condom Factory Fire!

Friday, June 17, 2011

The largest condom factory in the States burned down.

President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."




Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in from Mexico ."




Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock.. What about Canada ?"




Obama: "Okay, I'll call Stephen Harper and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."




Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches thick, exactly as requested... all colored with red maple leaves with small writing on each one:












MADE IN CANADA - SIZE: SMALL







Forward this if you're proud to be Canadian!
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P.S. My firstborn is.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

*MADHU* 6/19/2011 1:18PM

    emoticon

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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 6/19/2011 5:05AM

   

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WENDYJM4 6/18/2011 9:50PM

    lol

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NANT406 6/18/2011 4:14AM

    emoticon good one! LOL

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TRYINGHARD1948 6/18/2011 2:24AM

    LOL.

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IMNENA23 6/18/2011 12:08AM

    Thanks for sharing! lol

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GEOFROG 6/17/2011 11:54PM

    This was great!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

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SUSIEPH1 6/17/2011 11:49PM

    Hilarious!! emoticon emoticon

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TLCOVERT1 6/17/2011 11:16PM

    Great!

(He's been screwing all of us without one, too!)
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TAMIK1964 6/17/2011 10:42PM

    That's hilarious!!!

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Lemons and Cancer

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Eating a Lemon is lot Healthier than eating an Orange ........ LEMON will clean all your INTESTINES which oranges don't ..

LISTEN UP FOLKS:
This is something that we should all take seriously. Even doctors are now saying that there in value in trying "LEMON"

A must-read-
The surprising benefits of lemon!

I remain perplexed!
================================
Institute of Health Sciences, 819 N. L.L.C. Charles Street Baltimore , MD 1201.
This is the latest in medicine, effective for cancer!
Read carefully & you be the judge.

Lemon (Citrus) is a miraculous product to kill cancer cells. It is 10,000 times stronger than chemotherapy.

Why do we not know about that? Because there are laboratories interested in making a synthetic version that will bring them huge profits. You can now help a friend in need by letting him/her know that lemon juice is beneficial in preventing the disease. It's taste is pleasant and it does not produce the horrific effects of chemotherapy. How many people will die while this closely guarded secret is kept, so as not to jeopardize the beneficial multimillionaires large corporations?
As you know, lemon tree is known for its varieties of lemons and limes. You can eat the fruit in different ways: you can eat the pulp, juice press, prepare drinks, sorbets, pastries, etc... It is credited with many virtues, but the most interesting is the effect it produces on cysts and tumors.
This plant is a proven remedy against cancers of all types. Some say it is very useful in all variants of cancer. It is considered also as an anti microbial spectrum against bacterial infections and fungi, effective against internal parasites and worms, it regulates blood pressure which is too high and an antidepressant, combats stress and nervous disorders.

The source of this information is fascinating: it comes from one of the largest drug manufacturers in the world, says that after more than 20 laboratory tests since 1970, the extracts revealed that it destroys the malignant cells in 12 cancers, including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreas ...
The compounds of this tree showed 10,000 times better than the product Adriamycin, a drug normally used chemotherapeutic in the world, slowing the growth of cancer cells. And what is even more astonishing, this type of therapy with lemon extract only destroys malignant cancer cells and it does not affect healthy cells.


Institute of Health Sciences, 819 N. L.L.C. Cause Street , Baltimore , MD1201

What do you think about that? Let me know.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEYSARAH 6/17/2011 4:39PM

    Lemons are great for a lot of stuff and who knows???

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GOANNA2 6/10/2011 8:54AM

    When I was growing up in Greece,we used to eat
the thick skinned lemons straight off the tree
and we'd put salt on them. Now I just use it for
my salads and tea. It is a staple in my house.
I am not sure about this but in the 1970's "The Master
Cleanser" was very popular as a detox and has now
resurfaced again. Maybe people want to start a new
trend again. I do believe that lemons are good for you.

Have a great weekend and I hope it's not too cold for you.
It's really been cold in the Sunshine State and I am just now
enjoying a hot cuppa and lemon juice. Cheers. emoticon

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PEGGYO 6/9/2011 10:45PM

    Wow!

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TRYINGHARD1948 6/9/2011 7:58PM

    I do wish they would find something simple like lemons to help those with cancer. Lemons are so versatile it doesn't hurt to include them in a health giving diet.

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PHEBESS 6/9/2011 9:30AM

    For more info:

http://www.snopes.com/
medical/disease/lemons.asp

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ILOVEROSES 6/9/2011 8:00AM

    Sorry if I misled anyone. It appears that it might not be true, but as everyone said, it can't hurt to put a slice of lemon in a glass of water or tea, in my gin and tonic or a slice of lime in my rum and coke. emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 6/9/2011 7:45AM

    whether it is a hoax or not it is still very good for you.........
i have some everyday.......
blessings and hugs............lita

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SANDLADY48 6/9/2011 7:16AM

    I love lemons, but think they belong in my water, limes, now, in my rum and coke!

http://www.snopes.com/
medical/disease/lemons.asp


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DOOBRIE 6/9/2011 6:59AM

    Yes, it does appear to be a hoax, but it can't hurt to put a slice of lemon in my gin and tonic, can it?
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CAROLINAMUSED 6/9/2011 6:41AM

    I think this is a misleading hoax and don't like to see it spread. http://www.hoax-slayer.com/lemon-ca
ncer-cells.shtml

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