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The Perfect Husband.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me.. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the store now and I found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Then make an offer of $900,000.. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MINNA72 6/17/2011 5:26PM

    Oh my... I really needed the laugh today! You're sending me to bed with a smile on my face! :)

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SEYSARAH 6/7/2011 10:21AM

    I was tracking this morning and realized I hadn't come by to see if you had a giggles blog..sure enough..and thank stuff and loads of laughter!

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LE7_1234 6/4/2011 11:16AM


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    That is great! emoticon

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GOANNA2 6/3/2011 5:54PM

    emoticonWhat a great way to start my day.

Comment edited on: 6/6/2011 4:27:27 AM

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FEISTY1949 6/3/2011 5:29PM

    Hehe LOL

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PHEBESS 6/3/2011 1:17PM


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JOANN562 6/3/2011 11:53AM

    LOL, I needed a chuckle...
Thanks for sharing!

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L*I*T*A* 6/3/2011 10:50AM

    too too funny.... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ZARAH140 6/3/2011 9:58AM

    Humor is a great way to start the day! Thanks

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MILLISMA 6/3/2011 9:25AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FIREFLY1967 6/3/2011 8:24AM

    Very funny! Needed a laugh this morning!


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A bit of humour to start your day!!

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Marriage Humour

Wife: ‘What are you doing?’
Husband: ‘Nothing.’
Wife: ‘Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'. The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied.. 'Your horse phoned'

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEYSARAH 6/7/2011 10:27AM

    Ania..too funny, read these to Dennis who had a great laugh and said to tell you thanks!

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PHEBESS 6/2/2011 12:58PM


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ROCKYCPA 6/2/2011 12:38PM

    Very funny - thanks!

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AIDELADE27 6/2/2011 11:12AM

    Can't wait to get married, lol.

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L*I*T*A* 6/2/2011 10:07AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ILOVEROSES 6/2/2011 10:02AM

    Glad to oblige. emoticon

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 6/2/2011 9:37AM

    Thanks. I needed that today.

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GOANNA2 6/2/2011 9:37AM

    Thanks for the laughs Ania emoticon

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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me."

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

*MADHU* 6/7/2011 11:02AM

    Thanks for the laugh emoticon

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SEYSARAH 6/7/2011 10:32AM

    So funny and I bet it is true...and I know why..most of my contemporaries grew up with more expected of them both personally and professionally and if a parent said to do something or an employer said to do something, there was not much was done promptly...and that's why the older generation has no problem expecting certain was and is expected of them.

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GOANNA2 6/2/2011 9:43AM

    Thanks. Now I know what to do... emoticon

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PATJ7084 5/31/2011 6:02PM

    lol as usual, thanks friend x

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PHEBESS 5/31/2011 12:43PM

    YAY for old people!

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GRATEFULADY 5/31/2011 12:16PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonThanks for the laugh and the advice.

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KAREN951 5/31/2011 11:21AM

    Thanks for the chuckle!

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BLONDEJESS1988 5/31/2011 10:31AM

    lol! That is so funny. I work with geriatric patients at a hospital therapy pool, and they always are giving me trouble! When they want something done they want it done NOW, and they always want to prove a point that their ticker still works and nothing can get by them lol.

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TERRI289 5/31/2011 9:23AM


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ARLENE_MOVES 5/31/2011 8:09AM

    Thanks for my chuckle this morning!!

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GAYLLYNNE 5/31/2011 7:00AM

    Hahahahaha!!! Love it!

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L*I*T*A* 5/31/2011 6:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 5/31/2011 6:31AM

  Love this story! emoticon

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    LOL - that was wonderful.

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Proud American - Return On Investment!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be an American!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOANNA2 6/2/2011 9:41AM


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INGMARIE 5/30/2011 7:58AM

    Funny loved it.
Thanks emoticon

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PHEBESS 5/29/2011 10:30AM

    Oh yeah!

emoticon emoticon

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PURPLE_ROSE_3 5/29/2011 4:48AM

    OMG! This blog is hilarious! Love it.

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*MADHU* 5/29/2011 3:28AM


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L*I*T*A* 5/28/2011 10:31PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Power of a Woman!!!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private.
They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, why was he so interested in talking to you.
She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, "so if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant" , to which Michelle responded, "no, if I had married him, He would now be the President".

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILLISMA 5/28/2011 10:10PM

    Love it!!!!

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JUSFOLK 5/28/2011 6:05PM

    That's definitely a confident woman talking:)

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GRATEFULADY 5/28/2011 4:22PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FRANNIEDID 5/28/2011 12:58PM

    Love it!

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L*I*T*A* 5/28/2011 10:47AM

    cute!!! emoticon

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PHEBESS 5/28/2011 7:35AM


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BLONDEJESS1988 5/28/2011 4:15AM

    lol! I love that!

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