Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Springdale Cemetery, Illinois, is trying to get more customers with a 10-event marketing campaign that includes a 5 K race through it. "We know if we get people back into the cemetery, they're going to be amazed at its beauty." Springdale's chief Bob Manning said. "Then, hopefully, they'll think of us when the time comes."
Police in Illinois say a woman was shocked to receive a python in the post. Delores Gavin said a delivery man left a parcel at the front door containing the snake, which had been bought by someone using her credit card number. The young spotted python was sent from a reptile dealer in California.
The Californian owner of a parrot that went missing for four years was delighted to have the bird returned after it was traced by sales records. The only downside, says owner Darren Chick, is the African grey parrot that once spoke English with a British accent now speaks Spanish and keeps asking for someone named Larry.
Indiana motorist Ellen Bogan, 60, is suing state trooper Brian Hamilton because he gave her a religious pamphlet asking her to acknowledge her sins. Hamilton had stopped her and gave her a ticket for speeding and the pamphlet that also advertised the radio program 'Policing for Jesus Ministries' hosted by trooper Dan Jones.
An Italian hair stylist has set a new Guinness World Record for the world's hairiest car. Maria Lucia Mugno, 44, spent 150 hours sewing the strands of human hair to both the interior and exterior of her vehicle. Despite originally winning the title in 2010, she added a further 20kg of hair to her furry Fiat.
A Latin motto engraved on a New Jersey library was thought to read "we confirm all things twice". But "Nos Secundus Coniecto Omnia" actually means "we second-guess all". Stone cutters will change it to "we encourage all".
Eighteen-time Olympic swim champion Michael Phelps has been banned for six months and dropped from the 2015 FINA world championships after he was arrested last month for drink-driving. USA Swimming delivered the whack six days after Phelps was charged with driving under the influence, excessive speed and crossing the centre line while driving. Phelps tweeted he is taking a break from swimming and seeking treatment.
A US freelance software programmer has spent $100,000-plus on his ongoing aim to visit every Starbucks on the planet. The notion came to Winter (formerly Rafael Lozano) as he sat in a Starbucks café in Texas in 1997. His website says he's visited 96% of Starbucks in Canada and the US, and also travelled overseas. His freelance work gives him the freedom to pursue his dream - so far he's visited 11,700 of the chain's 17,000 stores.
A patient fled from a hospital near Phoenix, Arizona, by hijacking an ambulance. Police chased the vehicle and attempted to pull Michael Lopez over, but he refused. The ambulance was later found at Lopez's home. He is facing charges of theft, felony flight, failure to yield to police and disorderly conduct.
An 8 year old Hawaiian boy has survived a six-storey fall down an apartment building's rubbish chute. The boy plunged down the chute after emptying the family rubbish (garbage) and landed on garbage piled up to the second floor. He was pulled out by a neighbour who lowered a fire hose to him.
Friday, October 17, 2014
HEY,WASN'T THIS US?
A little house with three bedrooms,
one bathroom and one car on the street.
A mower that you had to push
to make the grass look neat.
In the kitchen on the wall
we only had one phone,
And no need for recording things,
someone was always home.
We only had a living room
where we would congregate,
unless it was at mealtime
in the kitchen where we ate.
We had no need for family rooms
or extra rooms to dine.
When meeting as a family
those two rooms would work out fine.
We only had one TV set
and channels maybe two,
But always there was one of them
with something worth the view.
For snacks we had potato chips
that tasted like a chip.
And if you wanted flavour
there was onion dip.
Shop-bought snacks were rare because
my mother liked to cook
and nothing can compare to snacks
in Betty Crocker's book.
Weekends were for family trips
or staying home to play.
We all did things together --
even go to church to pray.
When we did our weekend trips
depending on the weather,
no one stayed at home because
we liked to be together.
Sometimes we would separate
to do things on our own,
but we knew where the others were
without our own mobile phone.
Then there were the movies
with your favourite movie star,
and nothing can compare
to watching movies in your car.
Then there were the picnics
at the peak of summer season,
pack a lunch and find some trees
and never need a reason.
Get a cricket game together
with all the friends you know,
have real action playing ball --
and no game video.
Remember when the doctor
used to be the family friend,
and didn't need insurance
or a lawyer to defend?
The way that he took care of you
or what he had to do,
because he took an oath and strived
to do the best for you.
Remember going to the store
and shopping casually,
and when you went to pay for it
you used your own money?
Nothing that you had to swipe
or punch in some amount,
and remember when the cashier person
had to really count?
The milkman used to go
from door to door,
And it was just a few pence more
than going to the store.
There was a time when mailed letters
came right to your door,
without a lot of junk mail ads
sent out by every store.
The postman knew each house by name
and knew where it was sent;
there were not loads of mail addressed
to "present occupant."
There was a time when just one glance
was all that it would take,
and you would know the kind of car,
the model and the make.
They didn't look like turtles
trying to squeeze out every mile;
they were streamlined, white walls, fins
and really had some style.
One time the music that you played
whenever you would jive,
was from a vinyl, big-holed record
called a forty-five.
The record player had a post
to keep them all in line
and then the records would drop down
and play one at a time.
Oh sure, we had our problems then,
just like we do today
and always we were striving,
trying for a better way.
Oh, the simple life we lived
still seems like so much fun,
how can you explain a game,
just kick the can and run?
And why would boys put cards
between bicycle spokes
and for a sixpence, red machines
had little bottled Cokes?
This life seemed so much easier
and slower in some ways.
I love the new technology
but I sure do miss those days.
So time moves on and so do we
and nothing stays the same,
but I sure love to reminisce
and walk down memory lane.
With all today's technology
we grant that it's a plus!
But it's fun to look way back and say,
Hey look, guys, THAT WAS US!
LIFE IS SHORT. SMILE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE TEETH
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Just a line to say I'm living ...
That I'm not among the dead,
Though I'm getting more forgetful
And mixed up in the head.
I got used to my arthritis,
To my dentures I'm resigned,
I can manage my bifocals,
But Lord ... how I miss my mind!!!
Sometimes I can't remember
When I stand at the foot of the stairs,
If I must go up for something ...
Or if I've just come down from there.
I stand before the fridge at times,
My poor mind filled with doubt,
Have I come to put food away,
Or come to take some out?
There are times when it is dark out,
And with my nightcap on my head,
I don't know if I'm retiring ...
Or just getting out of bed.
So if it's my turn to write you,
There's no need for getting sore,
I may think that I have written
And don't want to be a bore.
I do know that I miss you
And wish that you were near.
And now it's nearly mail time
So I must say good bye, my dear.
Now I'm standing beside the mail box
With a face so very red,
Instead of mailing you my letter ...
I have opened it instead!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Four older retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona.
They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents."
They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room,
"Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.
In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says,
"That's 10 cents each, please."
The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other.
They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying,
“That’s 40 cents, please."
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.
They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.
Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"
"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar.
Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place.
Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."
"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.
Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, "What's with them?"
"The bartender says, "They're retired people from Florida.
They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price, plus they all have coupons..."
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