Thursday, July 10, 2014
A small-time criminal known as Biggie or Fatboy has been arrested for hiding drugs in his fat folds. Officers in Florida pulled over Christopher Mitchell, 42, because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt but his behaviour made them suspicious. A drugs dog found cocaine and marijuana packed into stomach folds of his 204-kilogram /449-lbs frame.
Pub owner Frances Cunningham of Congleton, Cheshire in England, has been sent a GBP100 ($183) cheque and an apology from an "ashamed" Welsh female burglar more than 20 years after she helped in a break-in at the pub. Ms Cunningham, who can't even remember the crime, will donate the cash to charity.
Veteran journalist Barbara Walters says Christopher Reeve gave her the most unforgettable answer in her decades-long career - in just 10 words.
The 'Superman' actor said that comedian robin Williams had told him to "turn over" in hospital after he was paralysed in a horseriding accident in 1995.
Reeve said: "I knew then, if I could laugh, I could live."
Waitresses at a US restaurant carry loaded guns on their hips. Colorado is not among states where openly carrying guns anywhere in public is legal but Shooters Grill in the town of Rifle encourages it.
Owner Lauren Boebert said: "My Christian friends said Shooters sounded like a bar or a strip joint."
Not the place to forget tips.
A Charleston bride is suing a hotel because her wedding was ruined by "a depraved man" who stood against a window above the ceremony flashing his genitalia. Alleged flasher Samuel Dengal was staying at the hotel at the time. Anna Murphy and her parents are seeking damages from Doubletree hotel for "negligence and emotional distress."
A Croatian court fired its cleaning lady because she tried to kill herself at work instead of cleaning, a trade union claims. Her contract was terminated in Zagreb after a tribunal ruled that because of a suicide bid "her duties were not fulfilled."
The state and local government employees union is to appeal the "cruel and absurd" decision.
Death wish a work hazard.
Tuesday, July 08, 2014
The epitome of boredom is popularly thought to be watching paint dry. Dr Thomas Curwen, 34, has done just that in his job for a major paint company in Twyford, England, for the past four years. He says it is fascinating watching the changing colour of paint as it dries - both on walls and up close through a microscope.
Engineers Phillip Weicker and Duncan Forster hope to set a record by travelling at more than 160km/h / 100m/h across Utah's Bonneville Salt Flats - neck-deep in water in the world's fastest jacuzzi. They have spent six years transforming a 1969 Cadillac DeVille from a convertible car into a moving hot tub.
Albuquerque, New Mexico, father John Ruiz has been charged with child endangerment after police say he left his 11-year-old daughter at home with a loaded gun while he went to get a tattoo on his noggin. The tattoo Ruiz chose for his head says, "In God I trust."
An armless Chinese man has had his car confiscated to stop him driving. Police pulled over Wo Guo, 45, in a routine traffic check in Xiantao city, where officers found he did not have a licence. He used his left foot to control the steering wheel and the right foot to control the pedals and said he had clocked up to 160,000 kilometres / 100,000 miles without an accident.
Cricket great Sir Vivian Richards from Antigua is the only man to play World Cup cricket and World Cup soccer. He represented Antigua in 1974 soccer World Cup qualifying matches.
Saturday, July 05, 2014
The AMA has weighed in on Joe Hockey’s proposed changes Australia’s health services:
The Allergists voted to scratch them, but the
Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the
Neurologists thought he had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt he was labouring under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the ideas short-sighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the
Paediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the ideas were madness, while the
Radiologists could see right through them.
The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands off the whole thing.
The ENT specialists didn't swallow it, and just wouldn’t hear of it.
The Pharmacists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the
Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter..."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the
Urologists were pis*ed off at the whole idea.
The Anaesthetists thought the ideas were a gas, but the
Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the ar*eholes in parliament!
Friday, July 04, 2014
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, ''What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist.
He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
"I do not have a headache;
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache.."
It worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says,
"Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps
into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says,
"Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
"She's not my wife,
She's not my wife,
She's not my wife"
His funeral service will be held on Friday.
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