Monday, January 23, 2012
I want you to know that right off the bat.
My Mom started having mini strokes about 4-5 years ago, which, of course, affected her mind. She went to live with my older sister, then into assisted living. Mom continued having mini strokes, and developed other problems.
When I retired 3 years ago, we started visiting Mom twice a year - we live practically on the (USA) east coast and they lived in the middle of the country.
When I visited Mom a year ago, she was in constant pain, and I don’t think she recognized me. Her dementia had progressed. Nevertheless, I read scripture to her, including her favorite verses. That comforted me, and maybe her.
On Valentine’s Day, my sister called to say that Mom had gone home to Heaven.
A couple of days later, my brother-I-never-had died waiting for a transplant. Then, within another 5 weeks, two dear ladies from church died. I didn’t realize it then, but I was beginning a slide into deeper depression (I was already on anti-depressants) that intensified until October.
I resumed emotional eating, and hardly exercised: bad combination.
My two medical-field daughters urged me to see a psychiatrist, so I did. I was massively depressed, highly agitated, and becoming paranoid. My psych listened to me, asked questions, and then told me that I have Bipolar Disorder. Apparently all the deaths earlier in the year (and so close together) created the precipitating factor to turn my depression into BD.
So ok, now we’re up to the part where my BD meds have me in a good place again, but I managed two VERY stubborn sinus infections and somehow tore my meniscus (cartilage in my knee). Now we’re up to early December. My out-of-state kids were coming for Christmas (that was nice), but with my knee torn up, I couldn’t exercise. Sigh. “When it rains, it pours”.
DH and I already had arranged to go to Utah to watch Weber State University beat the stink out of three of its basketball opponents in January. We tacked on a visit with my sister in Texas, too. So, surgery is put off until the end of January.
BUT, this is not a ‘poor me’ blog. I’m giving you background so when I say that God is GOOD, you’ll understand that it’s not just a trite saying. God put my Mom out of her pain and misery. He sent me to a professional (psychiatrist) who is a woman (that’s a good thing for me) who ONLY treats people over the age of 60. Yea! Someone who understands me!
I’m trying to eat better, but it’s always hard for me to do when we travel – so I have to work harder. After my surgeon ok’s it, I’m going to resume exercise. And I WILL lose all the ugly pounds I’d re-gained. I'm quite upbeat - what a turn-around from a few months ago.