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Confession and TMI (too much information)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I'm clinically depressed, and my formerly faithful anti-depressant quit working. I've been on another for a couple of weeks, but it isn't doing the job yet (can take up to 6 WEEKS). But I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week - and I was delighted to learn that it's a WOMAN, and that she ONLY treats people OVER the age of 60. (Let's hear it for being old!)

I don't want to live on such an even keel that I'm never real happy or sad (robot/zombie). All I'm looking for is something to take the edge off so I can deal with life. Like I dealt with Mom's death in February - I grieved (and still do), but it didn't overwhelm me. This morning I cried because I forgot to take my bedtime medicine last night. I couldn't cope with things this morning and wanted to crawl into a hole, pull a rock over the top and pretend the world didn't exist.

Anyway, this isn't quite the way I meant to reveal what's up with me, but what the heck! Now you know more about me than you probably ever wanted to know (TMI).

I'm not looking for pity; just prayer, understanding, and patience. I will get through this - I'm much too onery a person to not get thru it! And yes, I do still laugh at myself.

For those who think that 'good Christians don't have such problems' - well, that is NOT true. We do have problems, but God has promised to be WITH us THROUGH the problem. Rarely does God instantly heal broken bones - He expects us to make use of professionals. That's true for mental illnesses, too.

God uses those 'bad' things that happen to shape us for His use. I'm so glad I have that certainty in my life. God loves me (and you and you and....).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YATMAMA 10/22/2011 9:07PM

    I am so proud of you. Proud to bursting. You are doing all the right stuff, dear friend. You have sought professional help. You have immersed yourself in the Word of God. You have prayed and sought the strength of others praying for you. You have reached out and shared the good times and not so good times. That takes great courage and I applaud you!! You will emerge from this dark season with greater strength, filled with power, love, and a sound mind. *HUGS*

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BIG_SCOTS_LASS 10/22/2011 5:39PM

    As a sufferer of periodic depression, I can relate to your current mood. I'm not on any medication for my condition, as it's cyclical and not severe enough to warrant meds right now, so I just have to deal with it the best I can when it pays me a visit. Sometimes I feel like I don't have the energy for anything and can't face the world, but I have to keep going and push through until I come out the other side. It's not easy and sometimes it feels unachievable, but I do it and when I get through it I'm often left wondering what all the fuss was about. It's unfair, the tricks our brains and bodies play upon us.

I don't have a lot of time for God, I'm afraid, but I do believe in inner strength and you have it. If your faith gives you the strength to get through this, then more power to you. I hope your new medication starts to work for you soon and you have success with your psychiatrist.

Take care,

Charlie x

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CALIPIDGIOUS 10/21/2011 7:25AM

    I have been there myself! It is marvelous that you recognize what you need and that you allow yourself to get it! It will get better and I am sorry that its been tough.

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KABOOPER 10/20/2011 12:49PM

Waiting is hard...I thought I would share these:
Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” (NIV)
Isaiah 40:31, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (KJV)

I hope you find your way out of the fog soon, try excersize. I know you have probably heard that before, but even if you just turn up a song you love and boogie around the room. it will lift your spirits! or a nice long walk in a beautiful park.
Praying for you!

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NEWNAC304 10/20/2011 10:19AM

    Thanks for sharing with us. I hope you're feeling better soon. emoticon

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MISTYRIVER64 10/20/2011 9:33AM

    Nancy - think of your big Spark family putting their collective arms around you and giving you a huge hug. I hope that by sharing your problems, it helps lessen the load. Lots of prayers and good wishes are going your way today, my special friend.

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CONTENTCHRIS 10/20/2011 7:58AM

    Thanks for sharing . I could never find one that helped with my depression and bouts of bipolar crud . So I take nothing. I have done the stressbusters team and eat well... BUT I still have my bad days and just try to press onward. I hope the meds can help.
Sincerely ,Chris

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SNUGLBUNIE 10/19/2011 8:39PM

    Thank you for sharing Nancy and it's never too much information. I too was like you years ago and I added alcohol to make matters worse. Today, I am still on Paxil and will be for the rest of my life and that is okay. It makes me sane and even balanced. My prayers are with you always my friend and God is definitely there with you. emoticon

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Assuring Grace (Faith)

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

This is the sermon I missed due to illness. I finally got a copy of and listened to the tape.

Assuring Grace How to defeat your doubts and develop faith

Matthew 9:27-31 “As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out ‘Have mercy on us, Son of David!’ When He had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and He asked them, ‘Do you believe that I am able to do this?’ ‘Yes, Lord,’ they replied. Then He touched their eyes and said, ‘According to your faith will it be done to you…’”

Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe the He exists and He rewards those who earnestly seek him.”


God tests our faith through difficulties.
I Peter 1:6&7 “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you many have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”
Our disappointments are God’s appointments. Isaiah 48:10 “See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.”

1st Lesson: If I want to live by faith, I must learn to rejoice continually; not FOR but IN trials.
James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

God tests our faith through assignments or commands.
Exodus 16:4 “Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.”

2nd Lesson: If I want to live by faith, I must learn to obey God immediately and leave the consequences to God.

God tests our faith through dollars/abundance.
Luke 16:11 “So if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?” How I handle riches has direct correlation with my spiritual strength, confidence and discernment.

3rd Lesson: If I want to live to by faith, I must learn to give generously. No one can out-give God.

God tests our faith through delays.
Deuteronomy 8:2 “Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands.”

4th Lesson: If I want to live by faith, I must learn to wait patiently.

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    This was a blog worth reading! Thanks! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PURPLELVR7 10/5/2011 12:48AM


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Random thoughts - Tues the 4th

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

I donated blood this morning - I like to do that because I was once a recipient and this way I can give back.

I visited my dr this afternoon and she took blood to check some of my numbers to be sure I do/don't need a change in that medicine. And she assured me that I'm NOT losing my mind.....a few things I was concerned about are frequently signs of depression, (which I've noticed is getting worse) so she's changed my anti-depressant. It may take several weeks before I see improvement, but at least I'm not losing my mind. Whew! emoticon

I don't suffer from being nuts - I embrace it! LOL I have to share something I read years ago, and hope it doesn't offend anyone - I'm speaking as someone who has a mental illness - depression.

"We don't just embrace insanity here; we feel it up, French kiss it and buy it a drink." And another: "Prozac: because sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I don't." Many of you will recognize that last one as a take-off of the candy bar commercial.

Again, I apologize if anyone is offended, but I find that while mental illness IS serious, often it helps to be able to laugh at yourself. I'm a firm believer in seeking medical help if you have a mental illness. I believe/KNOW that God has provided medical professionals to help us, whether it's cancer, broken bones or mental illnesses.

Here's hoping you all have a great day, evening and a restful night so you can start another great day tomorrow morning. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUGLBUNIE 10/4/2011 6:33PM

    I also am on medication and will be for the rest of my life due to depression years ago. There is absolutely nothing wrong with us and especially you. Hope your new medication works soon. emoticon

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    WAY TO GO at donating blood! Hey, I have depression, as well, and I appreciated your blog. I hope the new medication is working very soon. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CSDAYS 10/4/2011 3:55PM

    The TV froze on a picture, the printer is not working correctly, the phone maybe the wrong one????

I need to relax! Sorry your day was with the Dr. but good news!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Tomorrow will be better!!

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Growing in Grace

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Hi Everyone, I hope you've been as blessed by the "Grace" sermon notes I've been posting as I have. There are just two more - one for today, and tomorrow I hope to get the tape of the one I missed due to illness. When I get the tape, I'll listen to it and post it one day soon afterwards.

Growing in Grace

The Good News About Grace -- How to become what you are meant to be

II Peter 3:18 “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
Growth is not how many meetings we attend; verses we memorize; Christian CD’s or books we buy, or church services we attend. Growth is how much closer are we to God, how much we love, how much more is my character being changed to be like Jesus.

Three Things We Must Do:

First -- Put off the old. Ephesians 4:22a “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires…”

3 ways we TRY to grow and don’t:
1. Trying to grow by doing good
2. Trying to grow by keeping rules
3. Trying to grow by feeling bad (guilty)

Second -- Put on the new. Ephesians 4:24 “…and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

3 things about our new life:
1. We don’t have to achieve this new life.
2. We don’t have to keep this new life.
3. We DO have to put on this new life.

Third - Be renewed in your mind. Ephesians 4:23 “…to be made new in the attitude of your minds…” Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”


Offering Grace

Friday, September 30, 2011

Offering Grace

How to Extend God’s grace to others. Matthew 10:8 “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.”

True/False questions to think about:

A person should not be forgiven until he asks for it.
Forgiveness includes minimizing the offense and minimizing the pain caused.
Forgiveness includes restoring and trust and reuniting a relationship.
You haven’t really forgiven until you’ve forgotten the offense
When I see someone else hurt, it is my duty to forgive the offender.

All these statements are false.


It isn’t conditional
It isn’t minimizing the seriousness of the offense
It isn’t resuming a relationship without change (demonstrated repentance; restitution; rebuilding)
It isn’t forgetting what happened
It isn’t my right to forgive when I wasn’t the one that was hurt


It is remembering how much you’ve been forgiven. Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Much forgiven, much appreciated.

It is relinquishing my right to get even. Romans 12:19 “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Grace is not ‘fair’ in our eyes.

It is responding to evil with good. Luck 6:27, 28 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” This is possible only with God’s power.

It is repeating the process as long as necessary. Matthew 18:21,22 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” (that’s not a concrete number – it signifies forgiving as often as it is needed)

There once was a man who had a dog he disliked. One day the dog fell into a dry well. The man looked down the well and decided to leave the dog there, so he started shoveling dirt onto the dog. The dog felt the first shovelful of dirt hit him and stood up and shook it off. Again and again the man tossed dirt down the well . Each time the dog shook it off and stepped up on top of the growing mound of dirt. Eventually, the mound of dirt reached the top of the well and the dog stepped out. When someone dishes dirt on you, shake it off and step up.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISTYRIVER64 10/1/2011 6:33PM

    Thank you Nancy for posting this. emoticon

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