Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Several weeks ago DH and I thought the bathroom scale wasn't working right, so we bought a new one. I cried when I got on it - it weighed me 10-15 pounds MORE than my old one did. I'll get around to changing my SP page, maybe yet tonight.
Obviously that did nothing to help my state of mind (for details on that, read my blog "Confession and TMI"). Well, I'm an emotional eater, so guess what I did.....yeah.
I'm slowly working my way back from eating like that, and now that (knock on wood) my latest respiratory infection seems to be getting under control, I'm planning to resume exercise.
Update on my mental illness. I'm not clinically depressed - well, it's a part of it. I was diagnosed this morning by a psychiatrist as being bi-polar. So, in addition to the anti-depressant, I'm now taking a mood stabilizer and something else. But I was very favorably impressed by the psy. dr (I refuse to spell it out every time), and I have a follow-up visit scheduled already.
So, you ask, how does God fit into all this? Well, let me tell you: He's right here inside me. He let me get so bad off even I realized I needed professional help. He provided a psy. dr who is a woman (always a plus in my book), who ONLY treats patients over the age of 60. Isn't God GREAT!!!!
God comforts me, guides me, leads me to others who encourage and comfort me (some of them are on SP), and He reminds me that He will NEVER leave me, that He will ALWAYS be with me THROUGH a situation, and First Timothy 1:7, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of (His) power, (His) love, and of a sound mind (or 'self-discipline'). I believe God's will for me is to have a sound, disciplined mind, but that I need to arrive there with psychiatric help. I see no contradictions. So PRAISE THE LORD!
Later in evening - I'll reply to Missy (YATMAMA) here - bi-polar folks have deep depressions and extremely high 'highs' - an anti-depressant alone would tend to push one into worse mania. Mania is not necessarily really, really happy - it could be really, really irritable, maybe even violent. But I don't know it all.
Mood stabilizers are called for. And from what else you said, it may be that your m-i-l actually was allergic to anti-depressants. But, I still have plenty to learn about bi-polar disease.
Thank you one and all for your prayers and encouragement. You mean a great deal to me., my SparkFriends.
Friday, October 21, 2011
We were 'in the neighborhood' the other day when the Zanesville, OH man let all his exotic animals loose then shot himself......we actually drove thru town that afternoon.
So the stories of "Lions, and Tigers, and Bears, Oh My!" were of great interest to us.
Yes, too bad so many animals had to be killed, but folks, the alternative was too risky for the humans in the area; especially since it quickly turned nighttime and rainy.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
I want to share something with you that I read this morning. Something that really resonates with me.
From “Our Daily Bread” for 10/20/2011 My Fingernails or His Hand?
“Tough times can cause us to get our perspective turned around. I was reminded of this recently as I talked to a fellow-griever – another parent who, like Sue and me, lost a teenage daughter to death suddenly and without warning.
She told me she had been missing her daughter terribly, and she told God she felt as if she were hanging on by her fingernails. Then she felt as if God reminded her that His hand of protection was there to hold her up – that she could let go, and He would catch her.
That’s a better perspective, isn’t it? This picture reminds us that when troubles come and we feel least able to hold on to our faith, it’s not up to us. It’s up to God to support us with His mighty hand.
Psalm 37:23-24 says: ‘The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord….Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand.’ And Psalm 63:8 tell us: ‘My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.’
In tough times, we can become so preoccupied with our role in ‘clinging to God’ that we forget about his promised protection. It’s not our fingernails that sustain us – it’s His loving, upholding hand.”
Written by Dave Branon
Isaiah 41:9-10 “I (God) took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
I'm clinically depressed, and my formerly faithful anti-depressant quit working. I've been on another for a couple of weeks, but it isn't doing the job yet (can take up to 6 WEEKS). But I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week - and I was delighted to learn that it's a WOMAN, and that she ONLY treats people OVER the age of 60. (Let's hear it for being old!)
I don't want to live on such an even keel that I'm never real happy or sad (robot/zombie). All I'm looking for is something to take the edge off so I can deal with life. Like I dealt with Mom's death in February - I grieved (and still do), but it didn't overwhelm me. This morning I cried because I forgot to take my bedtime medicine last night. I couldn't cope with things this morning and wanted to crawl into a hole, pull a rock over the top and pretend the world didn't exist.
Anyway, this isn't quite the way I meant to reveal what's up with me, but what the heck! Now you know more about me than you probably ever wanted to know (TMI).
I'm not looking for pity; just prayer, understanding, and patience. I will get through this - I'm much too onery a person to not get thru it! And yes, I do still laugh at myself.
For those who think that 'good Christians don't have such problems' - well, that is NOT true. We do have problems, but God has promised to be WITH us THROUGH the problem. Rarely does God instantly heal broken bones - He expects us to make use of professionals. That's true for mental illnesses, too.
God uses those 'bad' things that happen to shape us for His use. I'm so glad I have that certainty in my life. God loves me (and you and you and....).
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
This is the sermon I missed due to illness. I finally got a copy of and listened to the tape.
Assuring Grace How to defeat your doubts and develop faith
Matthew 9:27-31 “As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out ‘Have mercy on us, Son of David!’ When He had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and He asked them, ‘Do you believe that I am able to do this?’ ‘Yes, Lord,’ they replied. Then He touched their eyes and said, ‘According to your faith will it be done to you…’”
Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe the He exists and He rewards those who earnestly seek him.”
4 WAYS THAT GOD TESTS OUR FAITH AND DEFEATS OUR DOUBTS
God tests our faith through difficulties.
I Peter 1:6&7 “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you many have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”
Our disappointments are God’s appointments. Isaiah 48:10 “See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.”
1st Lesson: If I want to live by faith, I must learn to rejoice continually; not FOR but IN trials.
James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
God tests our faith through assignments or commands.
Exodus 16:4 “Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.”
2nd Lesson: If I want to live by faith, I must learn to obey God immediately and leave the consequences to God.
God tests our faith through dollars/abundance.
Luke 16:11 “So if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?” How I handle riches has direct correlation with my spiritual strength, confidence and discernment.
3rd Lesson: If I want to live to by faith, I must learn to give generously. No one can out-give God.
God tests our faith through delays.
Deuteronomy 8:2 “Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands.”
4th Lesson: If I want to live by faith, I must learn to wait patiently.
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