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IAMWINNING's Recent Blog Entries

Sat (Mar 5th) Morning

Saturday, March 05, 2011

First, thank you all for your prayers for me and my family.

Yes, the anti-anxiety pill works well - more just taking the edge off so I can deal with things (and that's just fine with me).

I'm dealing better and better with my loss of Mom. Of course, with her medical conditions, I was losing her more and more the past couple of years, but many of you know how death of the physical body is still a blow.

Anyway, I want to leave you with the knowledge that with God's help, I WILL make it thru today fine. God is such a tremendous comfort.

More later, or in a few days.
Nancy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONTENTCHRIS 3/6/2011 4:40PM

    Prayers for you emoticon May God be with you dear. emoticon

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MISTYRIVER64 3/6/2011 9:42AM

    Our hearts and prayers are with you and your family, Nancy. emoticon

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DAYHIKER 3/5/2011 1:05PM

    I am glad that things are getting a little better for you, Nancy. It's hard--I went through it with my dad three years ago and I still miss him. There is such comfort in the Lord and in the knowledge that your mom is safe with Him but it's still hard.


emoticonCindy

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Wed, 2/23

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My friends, I am struggling to get back on track on living healthfully and losing some of the pounds I gained during February. I'm an emotional eater, and believe me, I've had enuf emotion this month to last a looooong time, thank you very much.

In my previous blog, you read that my Mom died on Valentine's Day, and that it was a huge blessing for her. Objectively, I was happy - she's no longer in pain, she can walk again, her mind is whole again, and most of all, she's looking into the very face of Jesus. Oh yeah, I WILL see her again, when I get to Heaven.

Regardless of all the 'good' about Mom's passing, I've been hit, and hard. Valentine's afternoon I laid down for a nap, and instead got hit with what I thought was a heart attack. First I tried my Albuterol inhaler - when that didn't help at all, I chewed an adult aspirin and told my DH that we needed to go to the hospital. Won't give you all the nitty-gritty details, but after several tests which were good, they admitted me so I could have a stress test the next morning. That also was good, so the dr's diagnosis was anxiety.

I already had an appt with my family dr last Friday, and asked her for an anti-anxiety pill....so I'm taking that each day for awhile.

I won't claim to know WHY I'm taking Mom's death so hard; I trust the Lord to take care of me and tell me what He wants me to know and when. I know that God is in control, of EVERYthing, including me, as I yield myself to Him on a constant basis.

Mom's being cremated, so her 'old house' won't be there for the Memorial Service, and that's fine. I remember when my Dad died that I looked at HIS 'old house' (body) - I said, "that's Dad's house, but Dad isn't THERE". I knew he was in Heaven already.

I was sick much of January, so didn't exercise like I used to; but I ate pretty well. Then I was getting back into exercising, and Mom died. I felt numb for a number of days, but am getting back on track - thanks first of all to the prayers of my many Christian friends, and secondly, I know I have to also thank the Xanax. I firmly believe that God gives us dr's and medicine to help us - not that I will be dependent on Xanax for long, but I'm using it to get past this rough spot. Sometimes God heals us without 'outside help' but God also uses the medical field.

Guess this brings you up-to-date on me. I've told my special SP friend already, but felt that I owed the rest of you some explanation.

Thank you for your prayers for me and my entire family (I have 3 sisters).
Nancy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 2/23/2011 11:49PM

    It is so difficult when we lose a loved one and many of us are torn over it like you are. Part of us knows they are past their pain and suffering while part of us misses them and wants them back. When my mom died on Dec. 21st a few years ago I was okay for the most part. Emotional, sure, but okay. Then, a couple of years later it hit me hard. The stress and emotions came roiling to the surface and I, too, needed temporary help. But we do come to grips with our loss and will always miss them, especially our mothers for some reason, but we also can rely on all the memories of the happy times we shared with them and the lessons of life they taught us. Continue being strong and separate your weight loss efforts from your mourning. Don't throw away any more of the positive progress you have made. emoticon emoticon emoticon -- Lou

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MISTYRIVER64 2/23/2011 6:02PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Why I won't be on SP much for awhile

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My sister called (from TX) Monday to tell me that God gave Mom the best Valentine's Day present ever - He took her home to be with Him. I'm rejoicing in that, and the knowledge that she's once again of sound mind and (new) body. Mom had been increasingly ill for a few years, so this is a blessing for her.

But I'm also grieving, so would appreciate your prayers for my family and I.

Thank you very much,
Nancy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOLUCKY12 2/18/2011 5:46PM

    Your mom is in such great company. My friend's mom died Valentine's Day and we had her service yesterday. It was a beautiful day here and now my friend will be going through those days after everyone goes back to their lives. When I lost my mother, going back to work and trying to get on with my life seemed harder than preparing for the services. Losing a mom is so hard on daughters! I think that is why so often we turn to comfort food after a loss.

How great that you are able to celebrate your mom's life and know that she is with God and will have a new and better life without pain and discomfort. We all pray that you will be comforted by your family and friends during these difficult times. Know that we are here when you need to reach out to your spark friends.

emoticon

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BOHEMIANCAT 2/17/2011 7:36PM

    Yes, my prayers are with you. Even though you might expect it could happen any time, you are not prepared.
Linda

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IUHRYTR 2/16/2011 9:36PM

    Sharing your sadness and your joy. -- Lou

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MILLISMA 2/16/2011 5:24PM

    Nancy, so sorry to hear. You're right that she is at peace but it doesn't take the grief or the pain away. Sending hugs and prayers.

Mary Anne

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MOMABEAROF2 2/16/2011 4:18PM

    Sorry for you loss! emoticon

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AMYISSUCCEEDING 2/16/2011 2:16PM

    I am sorry for your loss. Sending prayers your way. Just know we are all here for you.
emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/16/2011 10:00AM

    Oh, Nancy, no day is a good day to lose someone we love (for us, anyway). I think you're right in realizing that it was a good day for your Mom. My mom and dad are in their 80's and so very often now, I wonder when my phone call will come. LOVE and HUGS to you as you go through this time in your life.m emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DAYHIKER 2/16/2011 9:09AM

    I am so sorry for your loss, Nancy, but also rejoicing that your mother knew the Lord as her Savior. It's such a comfort during the hard times when you are feeling the loss so strongly.

Love & prayers,
Cindy

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Free Ice Storms to a 'good' home!

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Ok, can anyone give me a GOOD reason WHY we have to have ice storms? Yeah, I already know the mechanics of why, but WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE SO MANY! I'm sick of 'em alread!

It's been a 'bad' winter so far - cold, and ice storms, and we're only in early Februrary. I know, it IS winter, but enough already!

Thanks for letting me blow off steam. Too bad I can't aim that steam at the sidewalks and driveways, not to mention the streets. emoticon

Today we went to another of Josh's basketbal games. They won. : ) Grandma is so proud. Josh stole the ball at least once, and participated quite well. I made sure to tell him how proud I am, and that I noticed the steal. They just have a couple more games this month, then are thru for the season. It's been great seeing how much at least most of the boys have improved this season, and I hope they will all play together again next year.

Tomorrow is try-outs for 'majors' baseball. (Josh is in 5th gr). I have no doubt he'll make a team - he really IS GOOD. And frankly, Josh plays baseball better than basketball, so I'm really looking forward to the (little league) baseball season, even tho' the games are played outdoors. emoticon One game last year was played in the 100 degree heat, with no shade for those of us on the sidelines. Many of us learned to bring (and use) umbrellas.

While on our January trip, I crocheted a bunch of wash cloths and matching bath bags; then filled them with the soaps, shampoos, etc we got at motels. They'll be soon going to the battered-women's shelter in York. Since I've been home, I've been working on chemo hats. And, I have yarn for another pair of socks for me, have promised DD a hat with a pre-make hole for her ponytail, and there are a couple of other things I hope to work on soon, too. All-in-all, I'm keeping very busy.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to my favorite yarn store for the afternoon of knitting, snacking (I'm already planning to be good about it), and picking up some sale yarn. I want to make another Fair Isle hat for myself - will give away the one I made. I don't like the way it fits. Tomorrow night DH and I will watch the Super Bowl. He's rooting for the Steelers (we do live in PA), but I think I'll cheer on Green Bay - just to be contrary. emoticon Besides, our son-in-law likes GB. I really don't care WHO wins, but it will be fun to watch a pro-ball game.

I'm regaining my pre-sick energy level and have resumed treadmilling. I'm up on time, but haven't yet gotten quite back to the speed I was.....no hurry. I'll get there. Need to be more dilligent with strength exercises, tho' - just lazy.

Y'all have a safe, fun weekend.
Nancy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 2/6/2011 8:32AM

    You and Josh should be proud. He sounds like he is a fine young man. I hope you continue to feel better and thank you for caring about the women. I don't have your skill at making things but have been collecting unneeded cell phones and recycling them for cash for a local shelter for women and children domestic violence victims for years. Every little bit helps. Keep up the good effort. -- Lou

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/5/2011 6:48PM

    Nice blog! Thanks for sharing it! I'll be rooting for Green Bay! It's fun to have a little rivalry! emoticon

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MISTYRIVER64 2/5/2011 6:30PM

    My dear IAMWINNING - you sound like a very kind, generous person but PLEASE - do not give away any of those ice storms. I am sure they would miss you too much. lol lol lol

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Thurs, 1/27 (warning! it's long)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Well, we're back home again after a 2.5 week trip to visit friends, relatives, and watch our favorite college team play a couple of basketball games.

We drove, always a chance-y thing in the winter, going from Pennsylvania across the USA to Utah, driving directly into an on-coming snow storm in western Missouri and thru Kansas. Ugh! We were much surprised when we discovered that while MO crews got out ahead of the storm, KS didn't seem to be trying very hard: we were on Interstate highway, on packed snow and ice the whole way across KS, and only saw 6 or so snowplows across the entire state. (shudder!) It was awful, but God brought us safely thru it all. We got up one morning in western KS to -10 degrees F.....not counting windchill. Brrr!

We enjoyed watching Weber State University beat 2 opponents, and enjoyed visiting with DH's sister in UT. The day we left UT, my throat became stratchy, and within 24 more hrs, I knew I was in for it.

We arrived in Texas a few days later, and I wore a facemask while I visited my Mom in the assisted living place. (My sister since reported that Mom has NOT caught my germs). My DH took me to a walk-in clinic because he was afraid I was getting pneumonia (no so, the dr said), where I got antibiotics and prednisone because I have asthma.

Five days later, I know I'm getting better, but still have a lot of chest congestion. I'll be calling my pulmonologist in a bit (now that the plumber has come and gone).

We had a really good trip home (weather/roads-wise) until the mountains of western PA where the next snow storm started catching up with us. It wasn't dreadful until after we arrived safely home; then the snow started in ernest. For awhile, it was coming down at the rate of about 1" per hour, for a total of about 6-8 inches in our driveway.

We'd boarded our pit bull, Darby, while we were gone, and picked up her yesterday. As DH headed out the door of the pet resort (it really IS) with Darby, she stopped short, wheeled about and returned to give a final 'goodbye' to the lady at the resort. They love her there, and she returns the feeling; but I know she was overjoyed to see us again, too. At 50 pounds, most motels won't allow Darby, so we have to board her when we travel. sigh. We miss her when we're gone.

I mentioned the plumber: just before we left on our trip, I noticed water trickling down from the neck of the shower. Thankfully, we apparently just needed a new neck. That's all taken care of now, and we can move back into the master bathroom instead of having to trek down the hall for a shower. emoticon

Mom has been declining for some time, but it appears her decline is happening more rapidly now. As my nurse older sister (who lives near Mom) said last night, end stages of dementia can take from a few weeks to a few years, so it's not to say that Mom doesn't have long on the earth. I'm sorry if anyone thinks I'm being callous writing like this, I don't feel callous - just accepting at last. Mom's health has been getting worse (fairly rapidly) over the past few years, and she's been ready to go home to Heaven for a long time. I've made my peace with God about Mom's suffering, although it still tugs greatly at my heart to know the condition she is in now, and to reflect on how vibrant, independent and capable Mom used to be. I'm thankful I had yet another chance to visit her. (as I mentioned, they live in Texas, and I live in Pennsylvania)

I made a number of good choices of food while we were on our trip, and until I got sick, I exercised every night for a bit. I am looking forward to being well enuf to resume my treadmilling and strength exercises. I MISS IT! I never thought I'd say that - and if you'd asked me not long ago, I would have said that I hate exercise, but I feel so much better for making the effort. emoticon

I also indulged sometimes at restaurants, and gained a half pound while we were gone. But that's a victory: I ONLY gained a half pound. emoticon

Most days I was able to keep up with you, my friends on SP, which is especially nice....even when I'm far from home, I'm as close to you as ever. Thank you for your friendship, encouragement and patience with my lengthy blog.

Have a great day.
Nancy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 1/27/2011 5:14PM

    Thankful your trip was a safe one. Sorry about your mother. It's sad when someone we knew as a vibrant person is not that way later on. But we love them and cherish our memories of being together with them. Be strong and keep the faith, as I know you will. -- Lou

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MISTYRIVER64 1/27/2011 11:48AM

    Don't worry about the length of your blogs - they are always so interesting. Glad you are home - now concentrate on getting healthy again. emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 1/27/2011 10:22AM

    Nancy, I'm so glad you were safe in your travels, and I'm glad you're feeling better! I know my Mom doesn't have a lot of years left, either, and it makes me sad. I think I'll call her tonight just to tell her I love her! Thanks for helping me to think about her!

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