Saturday, March 05, 2011
First, thank you all for your prayers for me and my family.
Yes, the anti-anxiety pill works well - more just taking the edge off so I can deal with things (and that's just fine with me).
I'm dealing better and better with my loss of Mom. Of course, with her medical conditions, I was losing her more and more the past couple of years, but many of you know how death of the physical body is still a blow.
Anyway, I want to leave you with the knowledge that with God's help, I WILL make it thru today fine. God is such a tremendous comfort.
More later, or in a few days.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
My friends, I am struggling to get back on track on living healthfully and losing some of the pounds I gained during February. I'm an emotional eater, and believe me, I've had enuf emotion this month to last a looooong time, thank you very much.
In my previous blog, you read that my Mom died on Valentine's Day, and that it was a huge blessing for her. Objectively, I was happy - she's no longer in pain, she can walk again, her mind is whole again, and most of all, she's looking into the very face of Jesus. Oh yeah, I WILL see her again, when I get to Heaven.
Regardless of all the 'good' about Mom's passing, I've been hit, and hard. Valentine's afternoon I laid down for a nap, and instead got hit with what I thought was a heart attack. First I tried my Albuterol inhaler - when that didn't help at all, I chewed an adult aspirin and told my DH that we needed to go to the hospital. Won't give you all the nitty-gritty details, but after several tests which were good, they admitted me so I could have a stress test the next morning. That also was good, so the dr's diagnosis was anxiety.
I already had an appt with my family dr last Friday, and asked her for an anti-anxiety pill....so I'm taking that each day for awhile.
I won't claim to know WHY I'm taking Mom's death so hard; I trust the Lord to take care of me and tell me what He wants me to know and when. I know that God is in control, of EVERYthing, including me, as I yield myself to Him on a constant basis.
Mom's being cremated, so her 'old house' won't be there for the Memorial Service, and that's fine. I remember when my Dad died that I looked at HIS 'old house' (body) - I said, "that's Dad's house, but Dad isn't THERE". I knew he was in Heaven already.
I was sick much of January, so didn't exercise like I used to; but I ate pretty well. Then I was getting back into exercising, and Mom died. I felt numb for a number of days, but am getting back on track - thanks first of all to the prayers of my many Christian friends, and secondly, I know I have to also thank the Xanax. I firmly believe that God gives us dr's and medicine to help us - not that I will be dependent on Xanax for long, but I'm using it to get past this rough spot. Sometimes God heals us without 'outside help' but God also uses the medical field.
Guess this brings you up-to-date on me. I've told my special SP friend already, but felt that I owed the rest of you some explanation.
Thank you for your prayers for me and my entire family (I have 3 sisters).
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
My sister called (from TX) Monday to tell me that God gave Mom the best Valentine's Day present ever - He took her home to be with Him. I'm rejoicing in that, and the knowledge that she's once again of sound mind and (new) body. Mom had been increasingly ill for a few years, so this is a blessing for her.
But I'm also grieving, so would appreciate your prayers for my family and I.
Thank you very much,
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Ok, can anyone give me a GOOD reason WHY we have to have ice storms? Yeah, I already know the mechanics of why, but WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE SO MANY! I'm sick of 'em alread!
It's been a 'bad' winter so far - cold, and ice storms, and we're only in early Februrary. I know, it IS winter, but enough already!
Thanks for letting me blow off steam. Too bad I can't aim that steam at the sidewalks and driveways, not to mention the streets.
Today we went to another of Josh's basketbal games. They won. : ) Grandma is so proud. Josh stole the ball at least once, and participated quite well. I made sure to tell him how proud I am, and that I noticed the steal. They just have a couple more games this month, then are thru for the season. It's been great seeing how much at least most of the boys have improved this season, and I hope they will all play together again next year.
Tomorrow is try-outs for 'majors' baseball. (Josh is in 5th gr). I have no doubt he'll make a team - he really IS GOOD. And frankly, Josh plays baseball better than basketball, so I'm really looking forward to the (little league) baseball season, even tho' the games are played outdoors. One game last year was played in the 100 degree heat, with no shade for those of us on the sidelines. Many of us learned to bring (and use) umbrellas.
While on our January trip, I crocheted a bunch of wash cloths and matching bath bags; then filled them with the soaps, shampoos, etc we got at motels. They'll be soon going to the battered-women's shelter in York. Since I've been home, I've been working on chemo hats. And, I have yarn for another pair of socks for me, have promised DD a hat with a pre-make hole for her ponytail, and there are a couple of other things I hope to work on soon, too. All-in-all, I'm keeping very busy.
Tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to my favorite yarn store for the afternoon of knitting, snacking (I'm already planning to be good about it), and picking up some sale yarn. I want to make another Fair Isle hat for myself - will give away the one I made. I don't like the way it fits. Tomorrow night DH and I will watch the Super Bowl. He's rooting for the Steelers (we do live in PA), but I think I'll cheer on Green Bay - just to be contrary. Besides, our son-in-law likes GB. I really don't care WHO wins, but it will be fun to watch a pro-ball game.
I'm regaining my pre-sick energy level and have resumed treadmilling. I'm up on time, but haven't yet gotten quite back to the speed I was.....no hurry. I'll get there. Need to be more dilligent with strength exercises, tho' - just lazy.
Y'all have a safe, fun weekend.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Well, we're back home again after a 2.5 week trip to visit friends, relatives, and watch our favorite college team play a couple of basketball games.
We drove, always a chance-y thing in the winter, going from Pennsylvania across the USA to Utah, driving directly into an on-coming snow storm in western Missouri and thru Kansas. Ugh! We were much surprised when we discovered that while MO crews got out ahead of the storm, KS didn't seem to be trying very hard: we were on Interstate highway, on packed snow and ice the whole way across KS, and only saw 6 or so snowplows across the entire state. (shudder!) It was awful, but God brought us safely thru it all. We got up one morning in western KS to -10 degrees F.....not counting windchill. Brrr!
We enjoyed watching Weber State University beat 2 opponents, and enjoyed visiting with DH's sister in UT. The day we left UT, my throat became stratchy, and within 24 more hrs, I knew I was in for it.
We arrived in Texas a few days later, and I wore a facemask while I visited my Mom in the assisted living place. (My sister since reported that Mom has NOT caught my germs). My DH took me to a walk-in clinic because he was afraid I was getting pneumonia (no so, the dr said), where I got antibiotics and prednisone because I have asthma.
Five days later, I know I'm getting better, but still have a lot of chest congestion. I'll be calling my pulmonologist in a bit (now that the plumber has come and gone).
We had a really good trip home (weather/roads-wise) until the mountains of western PA where the next snow storm started catching up with us. It wasn't dreadful until after we arrived safely home; then the snow started in ernest. For awhile, it was coming down at the rate of about 1" per hour, for a total of about 6-8 inches in our driveway.
We'd boarded our pit bull, Darby, while we were gone, and picked up her yesterday. As DH headed out the door of the pet resort (it really IS) with Darby, she stopped short, wheeled about and returned to give a final 'goodbye' to the lady at the resort. They love her there, and she returns the feeling; but I know she was overjoyed to see us again, too. At 50 pounds, most motels won't allow Darby, so we have to board her when we travel. sigh. We miss her when we're gone.
I mentioned the plumber: just before we left on our trip, I noticed water trickling down from the neck of the shower. Thankfully, we apparently just needed a new neck. That's all taken care of now, and we can move back into the master bathroom instead of having to trek down the hall for a shower.
Mom has been declining for some time, but it appears her decline is happening more rapidly now. As my nurse older sister (who lives near Mom) said last night, end stages of dementia can take from a few weeks to a few years, so it's not to say that Mom doesn't have long on the earth. I'm sorry if anyone thinks I'm being callous writing like this, I don't feel callous - just accepting at last. Mom's health has been getting worse (fairly rapidly) over the past few years, and she's been ready to go home to Heaven for a long time. I've made my peace with God about Mom's suffering, although it still tugs greatly at my heart to know the condition she is in now, and to reflect on how vibrant, independent and capable Mom used to be. I'm thankful I had yet another chance to visit her. (as I mentioned, they live in Texas, and I live in Pennsylvania)
I made a number of good choices of food while we were on our trip, and until I got sick, I exercised every night for a bit. I am looking forward to being well enuf to resume my treadmilling and strength exercises. I MISS IT! I never thought I'd say that - and if you'd asked me not long ago, I would have said that I hate exercise, but I feel so much better for making the effort.
I also indulged sometimes at restaurants, and gained a half pound while we were gone. But that's a victory: I ONLY gained a half pound.
Most days I was able to keep up with you, my friends on SP, which is especially nice....even when I'm far from home, I'm as close to you as ever. Thank you for your friendship, encouragement and patience with my lengthy blog.
Have a great day.
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