I.M.MAGIC   101,236
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Something New...

Saturday, February 06, 2010

DH and I are moving again... and even though circumstances pushed us into it, somehow it seems different this time. We were excited when we moved into the place but being here... well, let's just say, it wasn't what we expected! LOL One thing being here has done: it has given us an opportunity to spend more time together, and learn a little more about sharing our expectations and what we want in life, and in our relationship in particular.

And, of course, it was here that a friend introduced us to The Secret... I know, I'm starting to sound like a fanatic! LOL It's just that the timing was so perfect, and learning to focus on what we want rather than giving energy to what we DON'T has been so liberating...

Our attitudes have turned around, and we appreciate what we have and where we are~ and instead of moaning and groaning because things didn't go the way we wished they would, now, we're actually looking forward to this as an opportunity to improve our lifestyle! LOL

I've always known that the attitude with which you face things can change your outcome in unexpected ways... but there is a difference between knowing something and applying that knowledge~ and when you're with someone else whose attitudes or feelings rub off on you, you can really end up in some "places" you don't want to go.

Now that we're both actually PRACTICING what we have learned, it makes SUCH a difference! DH ran into an old neighbor of ours, who is living in what he says is a very nice neighborhood, very quiet~ and they have vacancies there... and we have a large sum of money coming next week, which is when we have to leave anyway.

The timing is perfect on this too! LOL

It's wonderful. Life is good... and getting better all the time!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOWEETOO 2/6/2010 5:09PM

love and hugs the lady mary!!!

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KIMSHIDELER 2/6/2010 4:40PM

    I absolutely love your outlook!! Way to be positvie!! Goos things will come your way!!

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Early Morning Hours

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Just some more thoughts on that last blog of mine... I fell asleep thinking about a good night of rest, and I actually slept for seven hours straight last night... the first time in a long while! LOL

It's the last day of the month, and as I look back, I notice that Life has been busily throwing lemons into my path this past four weeks: plans that had to be cancelled last minute, car break-downs, running out of things and not being able to find replacements... and it isn't bothering me near as much as it used to.

As I think I mentioned, I've been reading THE SECRET, and it got me thinking about that old quote of Abraham Lincoln's..."Folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

According to the book, I bring things to myself by what I focus our energy on. If I look at life through a negative filter ("I don't want to be fat," "I'm trying to lose weight," "I hope my car doesn't break down..." etc) I am giving my energy over to undesirable things, attracting the very things I'm trying to ban from my life, BECAUSE I am trying to ban them. Basically, that's going about it wrong.

Conversely, I should be able to focus on what I want in a positive way ("I look and feel fantastic at my new weight!", "I love the new car I have planned, I can feel the steering wheel under my hands," etc) and attract those things.

The whole point of the book is being happy about what we are aiming for, putting positive energy into it and expecting the best, and taking advantage of the opportunities that open up.

I just remembered another old adage. "You find what you're looking for." If I expect people to act out, or to treat me with disrespect, if I expect negative things, there they are. If I expect respect...I'm much more likely to get it. THAT one I KNOW is true! LOL

As to the book again, whether or not I "choose" the things that Life throws my way, I definitely choose my attitude about them... and at this point it's probably a good thing that I love lemonade! LOL

Lately, I've noticed that a lot of challenges sent my way seem to be opportunities in disguise...

Today, I'm going to try an experiment from the book and try to put some real, happy energy into the things I want to have happen, and see if I can create a wonderful day in advance... I've always believed that we write our own stories, so I don't see why it shouldn't work! LOL

Kathy emoticon


Paying Attention...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I was reading someone's blog this morning, and she was talking about trying to quit having a love affair with a particular food... and it reminded me of something else I'd been reading. (A lot of reading going on at my house lately! LOL)

Because I have specific medical issues directly affected by my food choices, this has been a real challenge.

When ever we pay attention to something, positively OR negatively, we are giving energy to it.
Guess what happens when someone tells you not to think about elephants. Guess where your thoughts go! LOL And then, of course, whatever it is you are saying you don't want takes the (negative) energy you're giving it and manifests itself in your life.

Whenever I decide to stop eating a particular food, suddenly it is EVERYWHERE! The cheescake samples being given away at the grocery store bakery... the huge slice of cherry pie being consumed by the people at the table next to me in a restaurant... and it's also suddenly the one thing in the world that I really WANT! LOL

I've made it harder for myself by trying to deny it, adding vigorous energy to my thoughts of not having it~ and doing so perpetuates the thoughts! It becomes a cycle.

I found that the best way for me is not necessarily denial. Instead, I concentrate on the things that are good for me that I have also learned to love. The savory flavor of salmon or cod adorned by lemon slices and freshly ground pepper, the taste and texture of whole grains, the refreshing sweet tang of ripe berries or the juicy crunch of an apple, the creamy richness of a ripe avocado... and I don't miss out on the "goodies" either. I plan them.

Yes, that's right. Thank goodness for SparkPeople, because now I can plan my menus ahead of time to include all these wonderful things... and I add what some may consider indulgences, in their place and in suitable portions... but to me they are now just foods, with their own contributions to make to my nutrient needs. A slice of cheese has essential calcium, and I reduce the fat elsewhere. An ounce of rich, dark chocolate is chock full of antioxidants. The sugar in it is a carb that gets taken into account in my daily total.

It seems to me that by placing my attention on ALL the wonderful things I can have, I don't see what used to be treats as that any more... and I don't really care if I eat them or not.

Because of all this, I realized recently that a lot of the "New Age" things I read when I was growing up must have had a greater impact on this process than I ever realized. Those funky old books actually had a great deal of truth to them.

Let me think, what's that old quote... hm...

"Eat to live, don't live to eat."

Someone gave my hubby a copy of "THE SECRET", which we have been reading together
... and it actually just confirmed all this for me.

In a nutshell... the best way for me to deal with an addiction (even to food LOL) is to stop feeding it attention by paying attention to the alternatives instead...
Kathy emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTYNA7 1/24/2010 11:51AM

    Yup, as a food addict I had to learn to walk the dragon three times a day (as apposed to alcoholics who have to slay the dragon). Your blog is right on. I do find I need some time to get used to the idea of giving up a food. To focus on the positives. I think I loved SP for exactly that reason. I didn't read articles that said eat less of .... but ones that said eat more of.... Seems like when your life is full of MUFA's and whole grains and fresh veggies and fruits there isn't as much room for the junk food.

Thanks for sharing this, it's a great blog.

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WOWEETOO 1/23/2010 12:34PM

    and i see you are paying attention to him and i'll bet he loves it!! lol the lady mary

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My Birthday is today...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My birthday just happens to come in time of year when everyone is contemplating New Year's Resolutions... It's great to ponder the things you want to accomplish during the coming year... but...

I hate New Year's Resolutions. People have very high expectations of what they can accomplish, but typical resolutions do not usually include a plan to "get there!" and that has always spelled out the unatainable. Resolutions turn into wishful thinking.

People like me need to make "SMART" GOALS instead, like corporations teach their leaders:


Any thing worth doing is worth having a plan for, and following through on it.

I've always considered my birthday my own personal "accountability" day... I just wish it came during the middle of the year so I could have New Year's AND a birthday to see where I've been and where I'm going! Now THAT'S wishful thinking! LOL

I'm using my SP calendar to make an appointment for every three months on the 29th, so I can take a look at how my goals are going... I want this year to be one where my plans come to fruition!

Happy Birthday, 2010~ and Happy Birthday to me! LOL

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTYNA7 1/24/2010 11:53AM

    Belated Birthday hugs emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OPAL50 1/19/2010 3:12PM

    Happy Birthday and thanks for sharing the "SMART GOALS".

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 1/19/2010 1:39PM

    I am so sorry I missed your birthday. I hope it was a wonderful day for you filled with many blessings. May God bless you with many more happy and healthy ones!!

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WOWEETOO 12/29/2009 1:42PM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MAGIC!!! and many happy returns!!
and happy new year also
no resolutions for me because they don't work and i am not setting myself up for failure and guilt trips
i get up everyday and greet the day and go on my way knowing that when it needs doing usually i get right on it or close to it and it always gets done i am not letting any preconceived plans get in the way of what life may offer that is not already on my plate ..singularities tend to happen and you gotta grab them and live in the moment at times that philosophy doesn't always work but it does enough and nothing else really goes lacking of importance so it's the way for me
and againmy friend
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! IF I STILL LIVED THERE I WOULD COME AND GET YOU AND WE WOULD GO TO THE FREIGHTHOUSE AND EAT VIETAMESE at wendys there or azteca on the corner by the mall for mexican but know i am thinking of you for sure
love and hugs the lady mary emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon

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GRANDMAAMIE 12/29/2009 12:17PM



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RETRACMJ 12/29/2009 11:37AM

    I like your "SMART" - I might share it with some others.

I have lots of family whose birthdays are in Dec - including one on the 25th - and I have to work especially hard to remember their days with all the holiday happenings.

I like your idea of making a 3 month appointment too - I might use that for mysel!!

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 12/29/2009 11:37AM

    You are SO right! Happy Birthday to you!!! emoticon

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Thursday, November 05, 2009

It seems there is always trouble in paradise...

My DH has been having some problems for the last several months dealing with my problems, and it's all coming to a head... for a long time he just wouldn't talk about what's been bothering him. I thought for a while it was because of his business problems (he's self-employed, does business service sales for various companies and things have been very slow because of the economy...)

Now, it turns out that he's feeling like "less of a man" because I hurt and there's nothing he can do about it! Thing is, there's nothing anyone can do, and it's hard on everyone involved, he just takes it personally. At least now he's talking about it, and he has switched his schedule around so we can have a "date" scheduled on Friday nights from now on~ so we can work on things. We've been together almost 20 yrs and it's hard to see things going the way they are... something has to change. But then, life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same.

I don't know where it's going to end up, but I love him so much... Change is a good thing. Whatever happens, I know we're both going to be fine...


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AZERET0521 11/5/2009 11:07AM

    Communication is critical in relationships. I'm so glad you are working on that.

I have a similar situation. The more I get frustrated with my studies the more my guy gets frustrated that there's nothing he can do to help me. I tried to explain to him that I wouldn't be a good student if I weren't concerned about my grades. That didn't seem to make any difference.

The one thing that did make a difference, as you are doing with your Friday night date, was to set some time aside to just be together. It's not as often as I'd like but it gives both of us a chance to focus on what's positive rather than what's wrong.

Good luck!

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