Thursday, April 14, 2011
That colonoscopy that was happening this morning...
Last night was a disaster.
I got through the first glass of prep solution and into my second... and of course had to do the usual business that follows a major dose of laxative. And once stuck there, I suddenly became extremely nauseous and needed a bowl or SOMETHING so I wouldn't upchuck all over the floor. The tub and sink are too far to reach, and of course, there was nothing handy... so I called Brian. And called. And called. And banged on the wall--which apparently startled him from a sleep, and he came stumbling down the hall.
And fell. HARD. He couldn't get up, somewhere on the way down, his knee connected with something harder than him. There was a little waste can in the hall he threw at me, and when I was finished, I took a look. I was SO scared!... He still couldn't get up, and his knee was already badly swollen. He's a big guy, weighs well over 300#s, and there was nothing I could do to help, except keep him warm by throwing a couple of small throws over him. I had to call 9-1-1. They got here eventually: apparently I gave them the wrong address: my UPS mailbox is South and my physical address is East... same street, different sides of the freeway. They checked him out, said it wasn't dislocated or broken, just badly bruised, probably a sprain. Three of them got him up off the floor and sat him on a stool, and told him if it got worse to have me drive him to the ER.
I tried to get back to the colon prep, but everything after that came right back up--and I do mean EVERYTHING-- and after several hours the stuff I HAD managed to keep down earlier quit working.
I called and talked a couple of times with the doctor on call at the Digestive Health Specialist's, and he finally told me to stop and that he'd leave a message for my doctor. I went to bed. Couldn't sleep, had dry heaves. When I finally got up, I called their operator and she rang through to the office for me so I could talk to them and I set up an appointment to talk to the DR. about possible options. The oncall doc had mentioned that I may end up having to be taken in to hospital as an outpatient so they can do a different kind of prep... I guess I'll find out when I see him tomorrow morning.
All this and I'm STILL nauseous. Eating is a real chore right now, I can STILL taste that stuff, it's like it's coming out of my salivary glands or something. AND... NOW what's left in my system is working again. Yuck.
Ever had one of those days where you just want to start over? Well, NOT this one!! I wouldn't repeat the last 24 hours for ANYTHING! LOL
I can't wait to find out what kind of ideas Dr. Huang has... 'cause this SUCKS, getting all psyched up and ready to go and just wanting it OVER so MUCH... and now having to wait again...AAGH!
I'm breathing and everything.
I did have a bright spot in my day already... I had the fun of talking to my sister, who's in the middle of a remodel in her house; talking to my brother, who's shopping with his sweetheart at Walmart; AND talking to my Dad, who is enjoying the mini-remodel THEY just finished in his bathroom (new grab rails! YAY! LOL)
Spring fever. Kind of makes me want to fix and fuss around the house too. Which I WILL do... as soon as I get done in the bathroom! LOL
I don't want to spoil your day-- so unless you feel like laughing with me, DON'T think of me today... of course, if you WANT to, laugh...
And I'm going to be laughing about this myself, in no time at all. Hysterical laughter...
Life is full of surprises. And it's ALL GOOD!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I have nails and tacks etc. And that visual motivator is STILL sitting there, TAUNTING me! LOL
I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this thing. It's like there's a block or something... maybe it's just the ambiguous situation I'm in, with my 'ex' etc... maybe I'm having a midlife crisis and don't really want what's in the visuals? Nah. I like what's there, and it's pretty to look at too!
So why the H%^&*() isn't it up??
In a weird mood this morning. Things are going well otherwise...
I have made all my phone calls, asked all my questions and gotten the answers I needed, and I'm in Day 2 of the colon prep...
I MISS MY RAW VEGGIES! LOL
I was reminded that music would be a great addition to my day (Thanks again, LAFFLOTS57!) and have turned on my www.pandora.com to my own personalized 'New Age' station so I have some lovely, serene background sounds to my activities this morning...
Once I finish my AM SP routine, I'll do my PT, take a bath, and move forward to whatever the day brings...
I forgot my labs again this morning, but tomorrow I will be on clear liquids anyway, and decided that it is a PERFECT opportunity to have that blood drawn since I have to fast for it anyway... I'd forgotten this blood draw was fasting, so I can't do it now; I already ATE BREAKFAST! LOL Other than that testing, the colonoscopy on Thursday is my only appointment this week. It's enough! LOL
I'm glad. I can use some quiet time, don't you think? LOL
It's going to be a wonderful day...
Sunday, April 10, 2011
First, I'd like to apologize if I repeat myself. I do have fibromyalgia, and don't have the time or energy to go back and re-read my blogs to see if I said this before, so... bear with me, please! LOL
Just a quick update on the credenza, and other miscellaneous things: LOVING it!
In the center is the single shelf, enclosed by doors. On each side there is a small drawer and a large drawer. On the right, near the window, the small drawer holds my charcoal pencils, pastels and crayons, my watercolor pens, my acrylics, brushes, a few sketch pads... you get the picture. The large drawer holds household files. The center shelf has my box of completed drawings, some of my smaller canvases for future projects--and there's still room for a stack of bathtowels. On the left side, the small drawer holds my extra pillow cases, and the large drawer is the new home for my sheets.
It's a lot roomier than it looks, and I thought it looked pretty roomy! LOL
My visual motivator isn't on the wall yet... but it's close! It's on top of the credenza, waiting. I need to find/purchase some hangers etc to put it up with! Can't believe I forgot that too! LOL
Things elsewhere are calming down some. I still have to figure out how to pay the 'past due' stuff I didn't know about, but any future expenditures are now covered so I can complete the testing my doctors want with no more hassles... and I have everything in my SP calendar with reminders being sent to my email so I don't miss any of it.
I've even found the time to put in a few minutes here and there working on my projects: another box or two dealt with, some filing done, a few sketches, and some time on my novel.
I feel like I can breathe easier now. I'm certainly more relaxed. That's a good thing, right? Except...
My blood sugar keeps crashing! 54...61...43... highs have been in the 80's. I'm thinking I'll add calling my endocrinologist to my list of reminders tomorrow, for a possible dose change. I need to talk to him anyway about the dosage changes for the colonoscopy this Thursday... nothing like killing two birds with one stone as they say! Although, the only dead bird I'm interested in right now is in my freezer... LOL
I also get to call and set up that MRI, since Medicaid is going to cover what Medicare doesn't...
There's a song from the musical version of Dicken's "A Christmas Carol" with lines that keep running through my head this morning:
Life is great! Life is good!
Life is grand, and that's just as it should
Living the life that I've got.
Living again--and why not?
I love LIFE!
Says it all, doesn't it? LOL
Friday, April 08, 2011
Another question came up on someone's blog, and I wanted to save my response so I MYSELF could go back over it if I ever started feeling like things were getting too 'old hat' and boring... and hard to keep up.
"I'm sure you realize that life is what we choose to make it... or you wouldn't be posting this! LOL
The others (commentaries) are right. You can choose some different things to do to make it more interesting, you can reiterate your reasons for doing it, you can look for things you enjoy that will make it easier to stick with it, you can reward yourself appropriately... all choices, and good ones at that.
For myself... I have made the choice to try deliberately not to think of the downside of things but to accept: to look at the things I am impelled to do by health issues as simply the rules to the game I am playing, a game called life--NOT the version by Mattel! LOL
I eat for fuel, and if I enjoy it that's a plus.
I just do. No excuses.
I make conscious choices.
If I choose something that is not on my 'acceptable' list, it is a conscious deviation, and I make sure I remind myself and am aware of the possible consequences before I take it in--whether it's an activity I should or shouldn't be doing, a stress I don't need, or whatever I put in my mouth and swallow.
If it's something I've never tried before and turns out to be a wrong choice... it goes on my unacceptable list, so I will make a conscious decision the next time it comes up.
Guilt isn't in my vocabulary anymore. I DO know what it means, but it is not on my acceptable list either! LOL
The proper procedure is that, IF I make a wrong choice... I pay for it. Hopefully I learn from it instead of repeating it. And I move on to the next choice.
That's what I aim for. NOT that I always succeed, but the more attempts I make, the closer I get to it! LOL
We can all do this. All of us. That means you too.
Friday, April 08, 2011
That middle of the night crash thing has been going on for a while, so I started out this morning thinking it was still the wee small hours, when it was actually 5:30am... and my BGL was 61. I had a little something to eat and went back to bed... and couldn't sleep--maybe because it was only half an hour from the time I usually get up?
I've been 'not sleeping' for several days now, and I think it's time to call my neurologist--and/or my endo. I know I'm actually asleep, but it's the lightest stages only for the most part--you know, where you are still aware of your surroundings and your mind won't shut up? Yes, it's actually a sleep stage--but NOT a very restful or healing--or USEFUL-- one! LOL
As you can probably tell from previous blogs, my life recently has become a tad... shall we say, hectic? It seems to be calming down a bit--some of the issues have been resolved, though I'm still working on others.
I now have all my meds: some by reason of doctor-approved substitution for less expensive options, some by doctor-provided samples, some by dint of hours on the phone with the various agencies involved... and down the road there will be some adjustments: the state is going to pay my Medicare and co-insurance premiums, so I get that amount added back into my net monthly income. Nice, huh? (though I was told it could take a few months for them to get it done...) More cash for my prescription copays, since they aren't allowed to cover those under this program. They are also picking up the tab for the 'deductibles' or copays on my doctor visits and procedures!--now I can go ahead and schedule the MRI my rheumatologist wanted me to have, and the colonoscopy I have scheduled next week will be covered too, as well as my oncology blood tests.
What a RELIEF! I was sweatin' it there for a while! LOL
I'm coming down off that stress thing, and exhausted... the lack of stage IV sleep is catching up with me, and I'm having more of the daytime 'sleep attacks' I usually associate with not getting my Vitamin D... but it is nice to not feel so worried.
I know, I know. Worry is a waste of time and energy. Sometimes I do pretty well, but when all is said and done, just like everyone else...I'm still learning! LOL
I just kept picturing in my mind, me happy with my little 'medicine cabinet' stocked to the brim.
Good things do happen... every day!
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