I-AM-ENOUGH   2,715
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I-AM-ENOUGH's Recent Blog Entries

Not in a Good Place right now

Friday, November 14, 2014

Wow! It's been a really long time since I've logged in. I need to get back into that!

A lot has happened in the last couple of months. I had a beautiful, healthy baby girl! And my son is in 2nd grade!

I am currently so paralyzed by fear that I am not really living! I am so scared that I have cancer. I just had my baby girl, and I don't want to leave her.

About 3 weeks ago, I noticed some swelling near my armpit, and I got a cold. 3 weeks later, I still have that swelling and that cold. I also have had some night sweats and had unintentional weight loss. And my shoulder on that side has been hurting and feels tight.

I am so scared that I will be diagnosed with Pregnancy Associated Breast Cancer.

I went to a new ob-gyn and she thought it was due to fibrocystic changes. But, she is sending me to a breast surgeon to have a mammogram/ultrasound.

I have not been doing anything for the last 3 weeks, except feel like I am dying and am going to have to leave my beautiful family behind, especially my brand new, sweet baby girl.

And my appointment with the surgeon isn't until the 25th. Right after my birthday, but before Thanksgiving. So, I could get horrible news right before Thanksgiving. Great!

I don't know how to make it through the next couple of weeks, and I don't know what I am going to do if I find out I have some type of cancer.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNERRACHEL 11/16/2014 12:39AM

    I'll pray for you, friend. Don't let fear in. Think positively. Pray. God will be with you. My heart goes out to you. I understand it's human nature to worry. But, each time you feel that way, pray. Thinking of you and your family. ((Hugs))

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 11/15/2014 9:51AM

    emoticon Saying a prayer for you.

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ARUNNINGKAT 11/14/2014 1:44PM

    Sending big hugs your way! emoticon emoticon

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I Need Your Help

Monday, June 09, 2014

This has nothing to do with fitness or weight loss, but I was wondering if you could help me with something.

I am a member of a Free website where I collect points & turn them into gift cards (it's almost like free money). You can get prizes & giftcards to many stores. And it only takes a few minutes a day to start racking up points & you'll have some gift cards in no time.

I do not have a lot of friends, but I was hoping that some of my Spark friends would be willing to sign up under my referral link. With each person that I refer, I am able to get 1% of their point earnings to my account for life.

And these small gift cards really add up & would be so helpful with our finances with my baby girl coming in just about 8 weeks!

So, if you are not currently using SwagBucks, or have not heard of it...please consider signing up through my referral link...

swagbucks.com/refer/RunningRN

I would greatly appreciate it!

~Brandi

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSET09 6/10/2014 4:55AM

  I do MyPoints and receive gift cards when I accqure so many points. I give some away as gifts and treat the family. emoticon oh, emoticon i

https://www.mypoints.com/e
mp/u/editProfile.do?view=faf&sr
c=NAV_DD_EASYPOINTS

Cherilyn-

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I-AM-ENOUGH 6/9/2014 8:58PM

  @TryingToLose64 It doesn't cost any money. You watch videos, take surveys, play games, etc. And you get free gift cards for the points you earn.

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TRYINGTOLOSE64 6/9/2014 8:44PM

    Wish I could help but I am not financially able to even help myself at this point.

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Struggling

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Wow, does time fly!

I am currently feeling so overwhelmed. My Baby girl will be here in less than 10 weeks, and I do not feel prepared at all.

I have so much to do around the house that needs to be done, but no energy at the end of the day, after working all day, to even get started on it. I have thought of a plan, I just am having trouble following through with the plan. And then I fear that I won't get everything clean, or everything bought that she needs.

Although, I can be proud and say that I have been keeping up with my other goal - walking at least 1 mile a day (on the 100 day count down) until my Baby girl arrives. And since I started on May 1st, I have not missed a day. But, I will admit there were days that I did not want to go out, but I did. So, I have officially walked 28 miles so far.

Only 72 miles/days to go.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PMRUNNER 5/30/2014 6:29AM

    You will get it done, stay positive! Newborns really don't need as much as we seem to think they do, if you don't get everything done it will be okay. Many blessings with your baby!

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CLRWILLIAMS25 5/29/2014 10:16PM

    Just like your goal to walk a mile each day, you will accomplish everything you need to do around the house before she arrives. Don't stress too much. emoticon
I've never been pregnant before so I can only give advice from a regular amount of triedness. That being said, when I am unmotivated, I decide to do 15 minute chunks of productivity followed by 15 minutes of whatever I want. Do that for a hour or so and you will have gotten some chores done while still getting to relax a bit (bargaining with yourself).

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ARUNNINGKAT 5/29/2014 6:01PM

    emoticon Somehow it will all get done! One way or another they always seem to!

Way to go on keeping your walking goal! That is so awesome!

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Day 1: 100 Days and Counting Down

Thursday, May 01, 2014

Boy, have I been busy.

Some things have gotten better, and many things we are still working on.

But, as of today...I have 100 days (or less) until I finally get to meet my little girl.

We found out about a month ago that we are having a baby GIRL. I am thrilled! (My 7 year old son, not so much, but he'll get over it and love her just the same).

Also, in order to stay a little healthier during the end of this pregnancy, I am going to try and cut out sweets (the best I can). I also wanted to do something special with my little girl, so I decided to do: 100 days: 100 miles.

I never became a runner before I got pregnant, and now is not the time to start....but I can still walk. So, I plan on walking at least 1 (purposeful) mile a day until my little girl decides to make her debut.

I might not be able to reach my goal, but I am just proud of myself for setting one. I now have something to reach for.

I am really trying to live life one day at a time. But, I am also so overwhelmed. Trying to get my son through the end of 1st grade and getting everything ready for the new member of our family.

I just have to remember to breathe.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLRWILLIAMS25 5/22/2014 10:00AM

    Sorry I missed this blog previously! I think your 1 mile a day goal is a great goal to have. It will get you up and moving every day! You will definitely look back on it and be proud that you decided to make your health a priority while you're waiting for your daughter to arrive :)

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ARUNNINGKAT 5/2/2014 12:33PM

    That is a great goal! Congrats on the expected arrival of a little girl! She is going to be so cute!

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When you continually feel defeated as a parent...

Thursday, February 06, 2014

It's been years since I've felt hopeful for more than a few weeks, and my son is only 7. And he's about to be a big brother this year. (This could end up having been a very bad idea).

My son has been tested for ADHD (doesn't qualify for the diagnosis, but has symptoms of it), and we've had his IQ tested. He has a fairly high IQ and is very bright. He also processes things faster than 89% of boys his age. And he can be very loving a sweet.

He also has been in speech since he was 3.5 years old, and his speech has greatly improved. But, he still tends to emotional react with noises and being physical. He's not a big conversationalist (neither is his daddy).

But, after seeing a handful of counselors over the last 1.5 years, and being tested, and reluctantly being put on a mild medication (which the doctor didn't feel would help - but it does help somewhat) - we are still loosing hope (or at least I am).

My son is still has quite a bit of issues keeping his hands to himself, and has trouble listening at school. He wants to play and have fun, but sometimes he gets too aggressive and hurts kids.

We have talked to him over and over again about his behavior; we've tried taking away privileges; and we've tried rewarding him for good behavior. But, at the same time, we can't get his teacher to tell us how he's doing on a daily basis (to be able to effectively reward him, and we can't just take his word for how his behavior was for the day because he's lied to us before).

I am so stressed and in a state of panic, as the school has talked about putting my little guy in in-school suspension at another older school. He's really not that bad.

But, he knows that he's viewed as a "bad" kid at school, as most days of the week he clips "down" in color. But, it doesn't seem to change his behavior long-term either. But, he and a few other kids tend to be on the "not-so-great" behavior side.

We would love for him to be the "perfect" child and not get in trouble. But, we feel like we are already doing everything we can. We know that mainstream school is not the best for him right now, but we don't have any other options. We can't move (already did that this last summer), we can't afford private school, or to home-school him. And he needs the socialization. He needs to learn how to get along with others and how to interact correctly with them.

And he was doing better, and I feel like we are almost at square one.

Why does my son have to be like this?

Why did I get this child?

I know others are in even worse situations, but I am truly hoping that I am not the only one struggling. I feel like I am though. We are trying to get him to learn to prevent him from going down a much more dangerous path when he gets older.

How do I get through this?

I am so stressed (and have been for the last 1.5 years), and I know it's not good for me or the baby.

Feeling alone and defeated.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TXGIRL1023 2/7/2014 12:02AM

    My son's issues were not exactly the same as your's, but it was a very difficult road for us that seemed to peak when he was 4th-5th grade, 6th was bad and emotionally rocky. 7th started out rough, he got suspended halfway through, and then he tamed after that. At the end of middle school he got an Most Improved Student award. Hopefully, it doesn't take nearly that long for your son! Everyone's road is different.

I didn't feel we were getting support and worried about keeping my son in schools that were blaming him 100% for his issues.For my son, changing schools to a stricter but more supportive school district with an autism program made a big difference.

I see in your post that you have already tried moving. You could speak to the principal about getting the teacher to email you a brief conduct email at the end of each day. This did not really work for my son, as my mom paid him for good conduct scores, he threw a huge fit each time he got a conduct mark and the teachers at the 1st school decided it wasn't worth it to mark him up. Kids can be amazingly smart and oblivious at the same time.

Another thing, maybe, is to see if your school/district offers any kind of socialization programs? My son's autism program had a daily class called social skills geared towards high-functioning autistics, but there was another one for 'rough' kids. My son was in it while waiting for the new school to retest him for autism (the 1st school removed the label so he couldn't go straight in when he transferred). The teacher of this class becomes their case manager and checks on them throughout the day - there is some small object on their desk that the teacher can flip (from green to yellow to red) and if the case manager looks in and sees it on red, he will call the student out, if it's green or yellow I think he just tracks it. The class they attended was also called Social Skills, but the program was called PASS and several area districts offer it - but not always with the same name. They may have something similar where you live???

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