Saturday, January 01, 2011
Greetings from the Sticks! :)
I've had success on and off through the years with so many different "programs" I'd like to be ill. This cycle has left me in a horrid position of becoming a horrid emotional eater because life would happen and I'd throw it all out the window to deal with the latest crisis at hand. After hopping from crisis to crisis for the past (Oh, I so don't want to say this) 6 years, I have managed to gain my way through ridiculous emotional eating to nearly 300 pounds last summer.
I've taken off 10 slowly since October (truthfully 15 with a 5 pound gain over the holidays when my husband had surgery). I've managed to maintain that 10 and am claiming that as a victory as I maintained it while my husband had surgery, company was here, and the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's season.
On Christmas Day, I hit rock bottom. Before lunch I was crying in my room to the point that the whole family could hear me sobbing because I felt worthless and alone. It came to me as I lay there that I felt I was an inconvenience...first to my parents who had forgotten to call, then to my husband for making him help decorate the house the day before, and so on. I sobbed that out and then came to the conclusion that I was not only inconvenient to them, I was even inconvenient to myself. I couldn't stop the tears as I realized I couldn't put myself on the list of important things to accomplish simply because I was even an inconvenience to myself.
After I cried that out, I got to thinking how incredibly ridiculous this pattern of behavior is. I have so much more to conquer than just the extra weight. I have some SERIOUS bigger problems at hand.
I vowed when I got out of that bed I would NEVER be there again, and 1 week later, I've kept my word.
Tomorrow I'll weigh in for the first time since Christmas morning. I look forward to the results! :)
Monday, April 12, 2010
This evening a dear friend of mine passed away. She is survived by a 20 year old daughter, a 16 year old son with Autism, and a 1 year old granddaughter. She will always be remembered as the one who cared...the one you could go to no matter what. Friend to all...spare Mother to some.
My dearest Patty - you will be infinitely missed.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Okay for a Holiday week (Easter) as well as trying to get ready to leave, the scale still went DOWN this week to 276.4! I'm so proud of me!!!! I will admit, I had some downfalls which probably slowed my progress, but another pound gone is another pound gone and I am SO incredibly proud of myself for my accomplishments and what I have done.
I was actually a bit scared to step on the scale. I had a minor freakout this week and went off the wagon for a few days. But I STILL made progress and I'm SO proud of myself for doing the work that I have to get to where I am.
I'm feeling at peace with this doctor's appointment today and I honestly think that number has something to do with it. Even if I eat lunch, I will still be UNDER the morbid marker when I weigh in and THAT feels really good.
Please pray for me and this doctor's appointment. I'll be back soon to let you all know how it went and where we're going from here.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Today has been very difficult. I've spent nearly the entire day on an awful cell connection trying to fix the problem with my phone. Infuriating, frusterating, irritating, and absoluetly annoying.
Normally, a run to the fridge, the merc across the street and possibly town for bad foods would be in order. A typical day like this would cost me WELL over 3000 calories.
Today, I ate LESS. UNDER my normal amounts. Can't even think of eating another bite (in fact, the sheer thought makes me nauseous. I did indulge on my favorite foods. I went to my favorite shop for lunch and had an Egg Salad with Bacon sandwich. Skipped the chips, extra side dish, bowl of soup, and dessert. Took my son to Pizza Hut for dinner before we came home. Ate one piece (instead of my usual half a pizza and still looking for more) and was full.
This is absolutely SURREAL. And then, get this, I RAN on my elliptical.
Not walked, meandered, kinda sorta jogged.
Man I'm proud of me right now!
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