Sunday, September 15, 2013
I'm trying to stay positive and motivated, but it just feels like I'm drowning lately and can't keep above water. As I've already mentioned, my car broke down and then was made even worse by my cousin, the "mechanic, " who still expects to be paid for making it worse.
I finally got my financial aid loan disbursement. I don't like taking out extra student loan monies, but we're not doing well financially right now. My husband is still only working part-time and doesn't make enough to pay our bills. I have always supported our family up until now. I worked full-time up until a year ago. Even when I was on unemployment, that was still basically the money that we lived on. Right now, we're basically living on my school loans and our income tax refund.
In July, he used did a big grocery shopping and didn't pay attention and used the debit card instead of the ebt card. I know it was an accident, but he spent rent money on groceries and this put us behind for months. I had to use nearly all of my school money on back rent. There were a lot of things that I would have liked to do with that money, but instead, it went to covering his mistake that he made 2 1/2 months ago and trying to afford a new car. Is it fair? No, but this is just part of being an adult.
I have always gotten along with my in-laws for the most part, but I'm really hurt by what they did a couple of nights ago. They had us over for dinner and then laid into us (mostly me) about our financial situation. They told me to drop out of school and get a minimum wage job. I told them that we don't qualify for day care assistance. When I was working, I paid $1400 per month for day care for the kids. I only made $1600 per month, so at the end of the month, I was only left with $200. They did lay into him, as well, but it was mostly directed at me. Up until recently, I was on unemployment, then I babysat. It has only been the last 6 months that I have had no income at all, though I get money from college.
He has barely worked or been unemployed for the majority of our marriage. I even had to go back to work when my daughter was only 5 weeks old, since he was barely working. Next year, my daughter will be in first grade and both of the kids will be old enough for Boys and Girls Club or before and after school care. It will be pricey, but will be at least half of what we were paying the day care. I plan on returning to work next year so that I'm not just working to pay the day care. Frankly, I feel like it's his turn to step up. He's a healthy 28 year old man with no major health issues, so I don't know what the problem is. I know that he's looking for work, but wish that he'd put in as much effort as I do. I've done temp work for the last 5 years of me working and am never out of work for more than a week. I don't think that I'm exceptionally skilled, I just apply nonstop until I get a job.
By the end of my hubby's birthday dinner, I was crying from being insulted and them not making sense. His step dad said that I job hunt stupidly by not going into places to make contact. I work in clerical/admin jobs. In this line of work, they just send you away to go apply online. The job market is completely different from the way it was 20 years ago! I've worked in Human Resources, so I know this. Most companies don't take printed application materials any more. He also said that my neighbors should step up and watch our kids. Where is this even coming from? Yes, I have neighbors, but I don't consider any of them friends and certainly don't think that they should step up and watch my kids. Why would they?
I have always really liked my in-laws until now and don't understand where this even came from. Yes, we are struggling. They aren't supporting us, however, so it's none of their business. Unless they want to buy us a car and pay the rent, they can keep their opinions to themselves. I just don't understand it. I know that it was an accident for him to use the wrong card, but it put us behind for months. If it weren't for me getting this school money, we'd be evicted by now. In my family, they'd be railing on me for making such a mistake, not the person who saved the day for the millionth time. How dare I be unemployed, but save his ass, I guess.
Sorry to rant so much. I just don't know where my in-laws are coming from and it really hurts that they've turned on me for some reason.