Monday, February 18, 2013
Well week 4 arrived on Saturday, I stepped on the scale, and NADA. A big fat goose egg! No gain, No loss. I know I should look at the bright side, and say well at least I didn't gain. However, that is so not what I am saying or thinking. I am thinking I knew this was coming. I didn't hit my water, I didn't even hit my points for the day. I ate to little and knew I was by the way I was feeling. So now what?
Well I had my free day Saturday anyways. I thought I would jump right back on the horse, and I did Sunday. Today my family was begging for real food, and I caved.... Ponderosa buffet it was. Now I must become more focused for the rest of week. I forgive myself for not sticking to the plan today. Tomorrow, I will go right back to it. I pray that I won't gain this week, and that I didn't waste the opportunity of two weeks, and not just one when I step on the scale Saturday morning.
What I will do the rest of the week, it eat enough, drink enough, and make sure I do something in the exercise department each of the remaining days. It is a new day, and I must remember that this does not make or break this lifestyle change. I fell off my horse, and how I respond to it the rest of the week will show me a lot about myself. I refuse to disappear from this journey, this blog, this support system that is working. My jeans are still baggy and I will not allow the old me to rear it's ugly head and ruined what I want and deserve for myself. Prayers, blessings, good thoughts / vibes, whatever ya'll believe in are greatly appreciated.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Week 4 began for me on Sunday, after my built in free day Saturday. I give myself one day a week that I don't track anything. I think now is a good time to reflect on what I am learning, thinking, and feeling as I go along this path to a healthier life.
Emotionally, I feel pretty good. I can't explain it, but it's almost as if I was just really ready this time. I haven't had to fight bad days, and I haven't looked twice at my husbands junk food in the cabinets. It is still easy to just say no. I don't know what to attribute this to other than pure desire to do what's right, and not stop. The scale continues to be good to me, and at this point I am down 17 pounds in the 3 weeks I have been counting WW points.
My daughter is down 6, and we are thrilled with this number. A year ago Tuesday, she had a hemithyroidectomy to remove a mass from her thyroid, and we were told it could be 2 years before diet would be effective for her. I just told her that we needed to be concerned about more than the number on the scale, and that if all we accomplished was feeling better and giving her body better nutrients we were winning. Sbe agreed, but is beginning to focus on nutrition with gusto, and is happy to be seeing results. Although she is only 14, she understands that this means the remaining half of her thyroid is really starting to function as it needs to for her body by allowing diet to impact her weight.
The next big task, you might ask? Simple. Exercise. I have got to push past the naysayer in my head, and just start somewhere. There is a little park that use to be a school right by my house. That school use to contain a regulation size football field, and I know if I walk around that 4 times, I've at least gone a mile. Why have I not begun? I don't know..... I have a dog, she's very hyper, and it would be good for her too. I know I need to plan to do it, and just go. Right now I am thinking, I need to dig out an ipod, load it up and hit the trails. This is my goal for the week, begin exercising. More importantly though, I feel like I have to figure out, why I am not getting out there and just doing it. If I am going to succeed in making this part of my routine, do I need to figure out why I won't start? Do I have to fix the head first? Who knows, but we will find out. Because kicking, screaming, or throwing a mental fit we will doing it.
More later. Sorry if this seems jumbled, but it really is just a sounding board for myself. Comments welcome.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
It would take a books worth of pages to tell you how I got where I am today.... and to be completely honest I don't think I've really figured out what truly happened yet. To make a long story short, this summer was not the best. I slipped into what can be best described as a funk, and I've been there since. The only positive thing, is I have used some of that time spent in conversation with my self, to force me to face some tough truths. Truth is it doesn't matter how I got here, I am responsible to get myself out.
One of the hardest things has been watching my daughter gain weight too. She had a freak bike wreak in the summer of 2011, and by the grace of God a neck x-ray revealed a mass the size of a small grapefruit in her thyroid. Again by the grace of God it was benign and removed last February. Her specialist said it would take about a year before weight loss would be likely. She starts high school next year, and wants to be healthy. Given my weight was never an issue until I turned 13, I want to be for her what I never had a partner in health.
Thus begins our journey, and I have been cramming for it's start much like I would have a final in college. I tried WW a few years ago, and was had good results, but I just quit. This has now become my biggest fear. As I have scoured the net for tips, tricks, and how to use Points Plus I have found one thing that seems to be a constant. When I google things I am curious about I am directed to blogs that no longer exist.... This deeply saddens me, as I think some of these people were likely just like me. Excited, anxious, and trying to improve their lives just to disappear from the radar. We start the program Saturday to give her time to adjust before school on Monday and I am praying to not disappear or quit.
Hopefully this blog will help keep me focused. I don't really share much with people in my life, and I hope by sharing my thoughts with strangers who can understand what I am trying to do I will have a bigger chance of success.
Get An Email Alert Each Time HOPEMAE Posts