Thursday, March 21, 2013
Wow what a week I'm having.
My oldest has been feeling lonely. I understand completely. Now, I'm hoping not to offend anyone (though I probably will) and apologize in advance but California SUCKS at making any friends. You just can't. People are afraid for the most part (with good reason) and if they aren't afraid, they think they belong in Hollywood and are too "good" to associate with the peasants. See, in Washington you could go to the grocery store and it's like Mayberry. You say "Is this Frozen TV dinner any good?" to a random stranger and not only will you get an answer but chances are good that by the end of the 20 minute conversation you or they have been invited to a bbq at such n such's house and see ya next week.
Here, you could go for four years and not say a kind word to anyone. I know, I have yet to receive one. If it weren't for my family and Spark, I don't think I would have really uttered two words since moving here. Really.
So, when my daughter moved to San Francisco she was really really hoping that it would be like Seattle.
No such luck. After her second breakdown at work we decided to spend the Saturday over there to visit her. I think it made a good impact. We walked all around the city and hubby was a trooper, even though he was reeling in pain. We went to the Diner's Drive in and Dive's recommended Pier 23 and I had the fish taco's that was raved about. (the place was really good but not worth the $120 we paid for three people though...so kind of pricey for a "diner, drive in or dive" Then again, it IS Frisco)
As we walked all over the city we discussed how loneliness WAS a global problem and how unfortunately she inherited her social awkwardness from me. We discussed her job and suggested maybe getting one away from children for now (like a restaurant or bar) to interact with adults and not kids all day. Her first priority I said is being a student, so she didn't have to be a teacher just yet. (She's working 7-9 hours a day getting paid for 4, it's too much!) Her place doesn't allow pets so she can't have her dog and it's in one of the scariest parts of the city so even the landlord tells her not to be out and night. I told her maybe it was time to look at the singles activity site to just get out and do things with single people (not a dating site, just activities) Really, all she wants is someone to come play Scrabble with her occasionally. Not come over for a girls night and leave early stealing all her alcohol (she tried to make friends... and that's what her co workers did) We also talked about possibly transferring to a familiar place (Washington or closer to us) but to think about it over Spring Break after emotions were a little calmer....
Then in a minute the day was over. We hugged her and told her to think about it over spring break.
Then yesterday I get a text: "Mom, I know you get notified when someone dials 911 on the phone...I'm okay"
I'm like, what? what happened?!
She was on a bus when a very either drugged or unwell person approached and hit on her, asking for her number. She politely said "no, I have a boyfriend" when he started mumbling at her breast "I just want to marry someone! Why won't anyone marry me? I'm going to the hospital now because I need help cuz no one will marry me" on and on all the while never looking her in the face when all of a sudden she says he looked right at her and says "call 911". She asked "um, why?" and he very calmly says to her AT her "because I'm about to kill someone on this bus, would you call 911 for me?" to which she jumped up and started ringing the bell begging to get off the bus.
She gets off and calls the police and waits for the next bus. Only when the police come they evacuate the first bus on to the second bus and guess who is helping everyone off the first bus and escorting them on to the second bus? YES....the GUY!!
Now Panda is very panicked and again ringing the bell. She called the police AGAIN to let them know "helllooooo, you evacuated the crazy dude too!"
We don't know what happened from there, she took the train.
I guess the thing to take out of that though is clearly this guy was also lonely. So lonely he drove himself nuts.
Loneliness really is a global problem.
And raising and worrying about your kids never ends.
I'm going for a run now. I must have texted her a thousand times just to make sure she came home from class okay last night. I think I just need to relax myself.
on a good note: my youngest got to go to Disneyland with her band. She's so excited. And Ms. Kate is now teaching piano lessons. A step towards her ultimate goal of Music Therapy...
Holy cow batman. I'll try not to emotionally eat....I'm going for a run....
Happy Spring!! go say something nice to someone ...anybody. It might be just what they need.
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
Was just listening to that song by the Temper Trap, so it gets the title today.
Just finished my run. All of our streets here form a circle. So if you are driving down a road and hit let's say "Del Webb" you will probably go up four blocks and hit "Del Webb" again because of the circle. Anyhow, I live in a community that is like a spider web of circles. If I ran the Crossings I could probably start and end at the same place. That's my goal for my runs anyhow, to finish a circle. Right now being on week 1 of the Spark runs and C25 I make it about a mile up the road and come back. Every time I run I take the same route and aim for "Garret's street". It's this little mental thing in my head. One would think the same route would be boring and I suppose for most people, it is. But for me and my confetti mind it makes the run a little more soothing somehow and a little goal orientated too. Someday on my runs I'm going to make it past Garret's Street at the half way mark.
I do have to buy new shoes already though. I bought these awesome Sauceny's and they are already killing my shins. I need to get back to my Nikes and I don't know why I thought I could switch to anything else. Silly me. Shins really hurt today too, along with that arch that I "broke" three years ago.
I also didn't think it would be a good run because we are expecting a storm so it's pretty cool and crisp out there. Cool and crisp was just what I clearly needed. Was a good morning jaunt by all accounts. I should've known it was going to be a good one when "Running on Empty" was the first song on the playlist.
We've had a houseguest for the weekend. My niece and her baby girl came up for a visit. It was nice listening to the coos of a little one. I joked with hubby I needed another baby and we would name her Lola. He gave me the finger.
Anyhow, we went on a walk and there were sheep grazing. The sheep must've jumped the fence because look at this! Look how close they were!!
Then my niece helped me find all my DVDs!
I think my friend Kim was the most excited to see that pic! LOL I let my niece borrow my Slim in 6 and I'm going to get started back on my Hip Hop Abs since I'm in the Ab challenge team.
As for regular daily news:
The Air Force has begun it's furlough and hubby is without a job soon although depending on who you talk to is when the unit will shut down. He thought he was being cute, I think when he told the girls that he applied for a job in Hawaii (and he really did) OMgosh you'd thought he stepped on a hornets nest. The girls did NOT like the idea of that. Even Hawaii. LOL
Oh, here he is with our little great niece? Whatever, anyway, she stuck to him like glue all weekend. He couldn't even go to the bedroom without her clinging to his pantleg. Made the rest of us a little jealous....but he's always been a lady's man. LOL
and here's one of each of my girls.
This one is when Miranda and I went out for her first drink with her friends from Chicago. She was very sick from staying up so late, but she still had fun.
This one is my Missy Kate driving. She was imitating the Mayhem commercial: "I'm an emotionally compromised teenager. Becky just kissed Johnny and there's a problem with that. I like Johnny.. .. Becky isn't even HOT.."
and yes, my baby...Nicole and me. I think this was just after her last competition.
I had to tell her she can't compete next year. Who's more devastated me or her? LOL Hey, she's carrying out MY dream dang it. I will keep her in tumbling and she should qualify for the school cheer...we will go from there.
There's my ramble.
It was quite the ramble.
What'd I say again?
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Well, my computer is graciously allowing me to blog so hopefully I remember what it is I'm supposed to say.
It's been a little nuts around here. I've been doing some online schooling and that's been going well. I pat myself on the brain now for doing online this semester and I'll tell ya why.
I originally did it because hubby was due for a back surgery on February 13. We've been waiting quite some time for the VA to kick in and get hubby that surgery and at last we thought we had made progress. We thought. The doc changed his mind and sent us to someone else.
At least, that's our theory. He called us into Travis AFB to say "I can't get a hold of the other surgeon to help me so I'm sending you to Sacramento to a real doc. Thanks for playing!" Soooooo, trying to get the VA to pay for the referral and not have to get a NEW MRI and a NEW muscle junction test and a NEW... Just give the man his surgery! He's had a broken (literally) back for seven years! Fix it!!
AND, he's been stressing about the job situation. It finally made the news that his unit will be no longer. The date is set for his job to be gone by September, but he and his boss have been diligently working on assigning people to other bases or jobs as they come available. To say morale at the base is at an all time low is probably and understatement. I guess one guy had a Congressman come up, shake his hand and say "thanks for serving son I really appreciate it" and when the guy said "really sir? Then can you help us out by cutting your pay with ours so it doesn't hit as hard?" Well, you can imagine what the fellow did. Gave him a look and turned right on his heels.
This is why I personally am a firm believer in you can't vote for a Commander in Chief of the Military (aka President) when the person has never even served. It's like putting a McDonald's manager in charge of Microsoft. The ideas may be great, but unless you've been working there and know what you're doing, don't apply. It's why I voted McCain. He's served and I wish he would've run again (without Palin preferably)....Obama has not. I wonder if I could start a petition for that.
BUT....here's what's making ME nervous. Hubby and I just bought this house. Now, we probably could make it on his VA disability and unemployment and what I bring in and survive. But, he's looking at jobs in Washington or Travis AFB. I'm thnking to myself "why"? My thoughts are we need to take care of his back and heck maybe he can sort of retire for the next 2-4 years pending what he owes (we have separate accounts now......and I LOVE it) Maybe I could get a job to help out more while HE stays home. The middle one will have her license this summer...But to contemplate taking a job in Washington and living with his parents. I don't know.....I smell trouble all over that. I don't think it will happen, but I don't particularly care for the thought of it either.
My daughter had her 21st birthday. She had her friend from Chicago visit her. He seems nice. A little too "charming" but nice :) Let's put it this way, I can see WHY she's gaga over him and my heart aches a little for her. All you Mom's out there are nodding with understanding, I'm sure of it.
ANYWAY, we took her to the casino AT midnight with her two friends. We bought her her very first legal drink. As, like I said, we weren't feeling well she never even finished it. LOL BUT she did get to gamble a bit and won $70!! Happy Birthday to her!!
She was feeling better after a rough night of nausea. We have this weird thing. If we don't get a full 8 hours of sleep, we vomit. I know. weird, but there it is......it's always been that way and everyone thinks we're nuts but it's true and very consistent...if we're up late **puke** especially ESPECIALLY if there's any stress such as finals week or ya know, losing a job.....need I say more? LOL Anyone ever heard of this at all or is it just me and my girls that have this lucky thing? So, to say we are not much of party animals LOL I've just always had kind of a heart palpitation thing with slight queezie....but Panda, she just gets sick on little sleep.
So, with all that going on and with a cheer competition Every Single Weekend in February my Day 1 is back on. But, I don't feel "bummed" because I'm not being lazy or sedentary. On the contrary, I walk, I am always moving, I still try to watch what I'm eating.....even in Vegas. My weight is starting to fluctuate back down to 175 which is good cuz it was creeping right back up to the 180s fast.
OH and the cheer competitions: undefeated. AND my friend's daughter on the other side of the country has been doing cheer comps too. This is her first year so it was really REALLY cool to be texting each other from across the country, both of us watching our daughter's team take first.
Yes. A LOT of rambling. but, I'm all caught up and ya now know why my emotional roller coaster has left my blogs and statuses a little sporadic.
Oh, I downloaded My fitness Pal or something like that to my phone. All my friends and several Sparkies have been mentioning it so I thought what the heck....only it wants my Facebook info. Can I do it without FB because I NEVER want them to see what I am (or mainly NOT) doing. LOLOLOL
OH!! I almost forgot. Hubby bought me a daily calendar and I've been writing in it this past week on every hour what I'm doing. Now, I've looked at it and was able to determine if I had any wasted time (no) LOL but I did have mismanagement of some time. So this week I will be trying to schedule my calendar a little better with stickers and a menu. I even made an appt in there to do my run as soon as I drop off my kids at school and BEFORE my own homework (I had kept trying to prioritize wrong) Let's see how this week goes :o) I will make this work dang it.
And I'm starting to feel better from this sinus head cold thing. One full bottle of Robittusen in two days later.
ah yeah....that's all I can remember right now. I'm off to bed and I'll get back on here tomorrow after a quick run.
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
I haven't been stuck on day 1 so that's a good thing. I've been walking with hubby (as much as he can with his back) and trying to get my body's strength back up. Yesterday I was able to do the week 1 of C25. It wasn't so much the gasping for air this time, but rather calf cramping during the first half. I kept pushing though and completed it. I'm debating on continuing day 2 & 3 in a row since the girls and I leave for Vegas on Friday. I don't want to say "oh I'll do it there" because hellloooooooo it's VEGAS?! Talked myself into it. Week 1 day 2, in the fog...today.
My family has been strangely supportive lately. Yes, I used the word strangely. Although I'm not used to such things, and maybe there are ulterior motives to the support, it feels very nice. My Kate, who is my very tall ballerina, wants better arms. She has accepted the fact that our family produced very tall, very "big boned" women but still wants to look good and really, I can't argue that. We did the Biggest Loser workout together and even though I was gasping and begging Bob for a little mercy on the "low intensity" workout my daughter was not impressed. She's looking more for arm sculpting. So, I'll find some nice dumbbell routines for her arms. The youngest Nicole comes home from cheer and says "you want to workout with me?" and was not pleased when I told her I just worked out.
My husband even took the time to go in the bedroom to let me work out. That's right. The man gave up his living room tv set. But............................there's more.
I had been in kind of a kanundrum about self identity lately. See, you all know I just love color and the 80s. and I do. This is me:
**sears, I may to to buy this...**
**either woman actually....ruthless people**
**I wanted to be Madonna (1983) OR
**still awesome today**
However, some days I dream of being this:
**so clean, so classic**
**okay, who WOULDN'T love to look this way?**
We were shopping at Target the other day and I told him. "I was going to buy this purple purse because I just love it, but this black and white purse is the person I want to be: all classic and clean. So, I didn't buy either. What do you think?" He looked at me. I couldn't tell if he was exasperated or perplexed that I'd spring this dilemma on him. He immediately threw the purple purse in the cart. "It's you" he said and kept going.
I suppose it is. But I still look at that black and white, the cleanness of it. Then I look at my shoes, all hot pink and ready to run. I'm a nut....40something and I still don't know who I am.
Maybe I can be both. It's possible to mesh one world with another right? Well, I have 40 pounds to figure out how to get out of the life of sweats and into something a little more "fashionable".
Let's see...if I were to mesh the two together. Self, meet self. It would probably look like:
So that is what happens when I meet myself. I love her! Mission accomplished.
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