Wednesday, February 06, 2013
I haven't been stuck on day 1 so that's a good thing. I've been walking with hubby (as much as he can with his back) and trying to get my body's strength back up. Yesterday I was able to do the week 1 of C25. It wasn't so much the gasping for air this time, but rather calf cramping during the first half. I kept pushing though and completed it. I'm debating on continuing day 2 & 3 in a row since the girls and I leave for Vegas on Friday. I don't want to say "oh I'll do it there" because hellloooooooo it's VEGAS?! Talked myself into it. Week 1 day 2, in the fog...today.
My family has been strangely supportive lately. Yes, I used the word strangely. Although I'm not used to such things, and maybe there are ulterior motives to the support, it feels very nice. My Kate, who is my very tall ballerina, wants better arms. She has accepted the fact that our family produced very tall, very "big boned" women but still wants to look good and really, I can't argue that. We did the Biggest Loser workout together and even though I was gasping and begging Bob for a little mercy on the "low intensity" workout my daughter was not impressed. She's looking more for arm sculpting. So, I'll find some nice dumbbell routines for her arms. The youngest Nicole comes home from cheer and says "you want to workout with me?" and was not pleased when I told her I just worked out.
My husband even took the time to go in the bedroom to let me work out. That's right. The man gave up his living room tv set. But............................there's more.
I had been in kind of a kanundrum about self identity lately. See, you all know I just love color and the 80s. and I do. This is me:
**sears, I may to to buy this...**
**either woman actually....ruthless people**
**I wanted to be Madonna (1983) OR
**still awesome today**
However, some days I dream of being this:
**so clean, so classic**
**okay, who WOULDN'T love to look this way?**
We were shopping at Target the other day and I told him. "I was going to buy this purple purse because I just love it, but this black and white purse is the person I want to be: all classic and clean. So, I didn't buy either. What do you think?" He looked at me. I couldn't tell if he was exasperated or perplexed that I'd spring this dilemma on him. He immediately threw the purple purse in the cart. "It's you" he said and kept going.
I suppose it is. But I still look at that black and white, the cleanness of it. Then I look at my shoes, all hot pink and ready to run. I'm a nut....40something and I still don't know who I am.
Maybe I can be both. It's possible to mesh one world with another right? Well, I have 40 pounds to figure out how to get out of the life of sweats and into something a little more "fashionable".
Let's see...if I were to mesh the two together. Self, meet self. It would probably look like:
So that is what happens when I meet myself. I love her! Mission accomplished.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Does anyone know where the new year went? I was supposed to begin some me time. I had all sorts of plans, Well, mainly to finish what I started with juicing and C25 but those are huge goals. Maybe sign up for a run as a reward, but somewhere I got lost and I can't seem to find that road that leads to somewhere else...
Okay. Breathe. Look around. Sift through that confetti-head you call a brain and let's figure this out.
Over"h"aul goal is 135 with a cute, yet strong bod and lifestyle.
More moderate goal is: getting healthy. Finish juicing. and C25.
Short term goal: survive this week.
Today's goal: figure out what's going on and what happened.
See? easy. Okay.
What happened? Self sabotage. Oh you bad bad girl.
You let life get in the way of you. tsk tsk.
I did too. I found myself huddled over peanut butter and crackers yesterday as I tried to figure out how to console daughter for the loss of her bird. That bird should've lived 20 years...he made it 3. Poor thing died of starvation and we don't know how. He was fed so much...almost too much. I sat over the counter watching Oakland declare a state of emergency for 14 shootings in 3 days and wondered if the media is hyping up shootings for the President..... I ate another cracker as my relatives split up after 15 years and I thought of everything Tom and I had been through... I thought of everything I had to do today. The list ... that forever in your head list of things to do. just an odd odd day, week..YEAR
SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!
These having nothing to do with your progress! What am I DOOING?
Get off this computer.
Put on your yoga pants...yes, this entails getting OUT of your one and only pair of blue jeans.
Put on your running shoes.
Take the dog out for a walk...heck take all three.
Just get MOVING!!
There, that takes care of today. So I will. I will report back here tomorrow now that I have my computer back and tell myself and whomever is listening how I did survive today. More than survive today. I will LIVE today.
I don't know if I can slow time down or even stall it...but if I'm going to be whisked away in time, I best be moving in it. right? right. right.
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
All over Spark, Facebook and any social media around, stores, shopping malls, and even the good ol' calendar...Januray 1st is always .
Of course, I am withut exception. I had began my juicing excursion and getting to the "easy" part when hubby took his Christmas leave. Now, mind you I am NOT blaming him. I am responsible for my own actions. I blame me. I didn't have to eat at four different restaurants in four days because all my kids were doing their thing and we were "empty nesters" for the week. But, I did. Man, am I paying for it today. Not only did I see a significant increase in weight (right back up to where I started on this journey) but the left kidney has been flaring up the last two days in a not so gentle reminder of how I am neglecting myself.
my daughter (the youngest one who runs with me and eggs me on) went out and bought me 3 naked juices for Chirstmas. LOL What a support system :o(
I was going to start my challenge this morning. However last night we ended up in the ER again for my husband's back. I am begining to think this is his way of making a grand exit from a party. We spent nearly six hours there and arrived home by the time most people were getting up via cab. I went to bed and slept til noon when I went and picked up my girls from their party. I made my morning zinger juice (my favorite...the one with kale, apples, carrots and ginger) During the day though I came across the realization that once again there was really no food in the house! LOL so, I ended up having a chowder bowl with the family and will begin my real day one on day 2.
Oh by the way.......Seahawks in the playoffs Saturday!!
Normally, today would be a day of reflections and goals. I decided I will do that tomorrow. Between the ER and the Old Sac shooting (I'm thanking God and all the spirits around me that my brother had decided NOT to go see those fireworks) I am just exhausted.
You know the best thing about January ? Getting back to normalcy.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Yesterday was an absolute whirlwind of activities. The high school winter concert was wonderful and as I had volunteered myself for the middle school pre-concert potluck I had a lot to do. I sent out reminders to everyone to bring food and we held a bake sale.
One mother brought chocolate covered red vines to the high school bake sale which I thought was an excellent idea, so I made a bunch. They turned out really cute. Do you know how messy your hands get melting and dipping in chocolate gets? Enough to finger lick, which I did. Whoops.
I didn't really juice but a meal yesterday....a lot due to time, mostly tummy rumbles. I made:
handful of baby carrots
I think that was it. But I did stay on the water all day and I didn't (other than the occasional finger cleaning) cheat at all!! Actually I'll tell ya why
Remember, everyone is different but for me it goes like this:
Day 1: Ravenous!
I think my body or mind knew what was happening and I was simply ravenous
Day 2 & 3 Foggy & jittery
Although I haven't experienced the real headaches I have read about I was kind of in a fog (imagine sinus fog) and I had this weird sense of adrenaline rush. You know that flight or fight reaction? Yeah that one. It was WEIRD. On day 2 I went to tinkle when my bathroom door opened. I freaked myself out so bad that I got up and ran to my couch. It turned out the heater had shut off, but that initial reaction was there. Then Day 3 I was sitting at a stop light and a car pulled out in front of me. Although nothing scary had happened that "fight or flight" panic reaction went all through my body like no other. weird. I can only attribute it to the juicing because it's not a feeling I've ever gotten before and thoroughly try to avoid.
Day 4: rumbly
I'm pretty sure it's because while doing this juice fast I still get up in the morning to make my cups of coffee. Well, on day 4 it caught up with me.....with a vengeance. This is the largest contributor of why I did not make more than one meal yesterday. Everything I drank rumbled and tumbled.
This morning is better but I put my coffee down to one cup instead of my usual three. Much better difference. I know I will have to give up my coffee altogether for this project, but if I have to tell my mind that just now, it won't happen. So I let my "body" do the talking.
I am still not experiencing any hunger pangs or cravings as I did on day one so that is a bonus. Actually, I really feel as this week starts on he downward trend that the rest of this journey will probably be uneventful.
The only thing I can say is my left kidney does feel better already...even with the tummy events. I've been drinking a TON of water and my weight is now back to my ticker. I realize this is all probably "water weight" but I know from here on out it will just be progress.
As for the bake sale. I'm proud to say that the potluck and bake sale for the middle school was a success. We sold about $100 worth in an hour and someone donated $80. It really didn't take a lot of will power to refrain from eating because my hands and mind were busy.
Today is payday and I think my computer (hopefully) should be done so I can post some pictures and really get back on Spark. I've been using hubby's computer pretty much to blog only and maybe check on my Friend Feed.
Today I'm also going grocery shopping so I'll be sure to go to my Spark friend's site and get some more recipes.
Next challenge for the upcoming weeks will be to incorporate exercise in.
If I can keep this up....my dress might actually leave my daughter's closet and come to momma!!
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