Monday, July 02, 2012
I was hoping to get a picture that could compare the summers weight loss. Ah well, I still have July which is when our big camp outs were anyhow. It does look like, though, by scales value that it's literally been 10 pound loss a year. So, for those who think weight loss is forever slow...this turtle probably has ya beat. LOL
It's okay though. I know that for MYSELF it is age, lack of consistency, and the fact that I've NEVER exercised before starting Spark. Everyday I'm learning new tidbits of what things to eat, the addictions of chemicals and processed foods. I'm forever learning that exercise CAN be fun and I just have to find what I like.
AND, I've learned something else. That by NOT radically resorting to dangerous surgeries and radical fad diets, I am also encouraging my teenage girls to eat healthy.
We were watching the end of Season 3's the Biggest Loser (never seen it) and they were asking teenagers what certain vegetables were: brussel sprouts, eggplants, kale, etc. A LOT of the kids had no idea what they were looking at. My girls knew every single vegetable, have eaten them and enjoy them.
All of my girls participate in activities that keep them busy. Skating, marching band, Dance, cheer, swimming and even our video games are active (Wii). I didn't force this upon them. I TAUGHT them, mainly by example and some with questions. I don't want to say they still don't suffer insecurities. Actually, I am pretty sure this is a normal part of being a teenager until they can identify with themselves. But, I feel pretty secure that weight and health is educated and instilled enough to make good decisions. God above I hope.
While learning about this, I came across a site and want to give particular kudos to this company: Dove.
I am, what I would consider, a teenage advocate. I defend all kids by nature, but tend to be a little more aggressive when it comes to the welfare of teenagers. I don't know why. Maybe it was because of my own insecure issues. A skinny girl beat up daily, and I do mean daily on the bus, at school, at home....it didn't matter. I guess I just had the look of "human punching bag" at the time. But I also saw things in my neighborhood, at my school that I could never forget. A friend who miscarried several times in fear of talking to her mother. A Jr High girl who couldn't have been more than 14 carrying her baby as if it were a rag doll into school. Girls starving themselves, girls cutting themselves, girls sleeping with boys because it "means love" and boys...boys abused and running away...it was rough...even for the glorious 80s I love.
So yes...when someone says or do something negative regarding their teenagers I get ruffled....actually according to some of my friends and my girls...it when you hear my voice the loudest. I get emotional at dance recitals, talent shows, band concerts, and sports because I FEEL all of the hard work everyone puts in to it...as if they were all my own kids. My friends become my family and their kids become OUR kids. I'm a real believer in "it takes a village to raise a child".
See, people have a very misguided conception of teenagers. It becomes the age of "ah, no more paying babysitters" but they forget.......it becomes the age of "I really need my mother/father the MOST"
This is the age of identifying oneself so they WILL color their hair and go goth and rebel and then switch THAT up. Every single one of my girls "skipped assignments" around this time, every single one obtained a voice out of nowhere. They want to see who they are, how far they can push, and it's up to US to say "its okay to feel this way, but here are the dangers" and discuss things openly with them and yes, show them the consequences to their actions. Number one advice I can give?? Quit trying to regain your control. Honestly, you never had it in the first place. Work with them as a person because the moment you lose control by trying to gain it, well, you lose everything. GUIDE them through the different choices they make. My ballet girl/band chick may switch to acting/teaching or something and it will be up to me to help her even if I disagree with every fiber of my being. Because like an infant, she is touching, exploring and assessing her strengths and weaknesses. Some kids need it more than others. Teenagers are my second favorite ages because it's when you see the people they WANT to be trying to come out.
Dove has begun a campaign for young girls. Actually, it's been around for awhile, but it is still going. It shows the intense work going into covering a supermodels. They work at portraying "real" women in their ads, and they have classes that help girls identify with being a girl and not with media image. I just think that is "neat". It makes me proud to know that like me, others are gearing up and looking at girls beyond sex and babies. More voices need to encourage all teenagers that it's okay to experience lower body images and this is how to eat healthy and exercise. AND SHOW THEM!
**Dove: beauty distorted** (youtube)
I love listening to people on here say "my son ran with me" and "my daughter went to the gym with me" or "my kids helped in the kitchen" This is how it starts!!
I love that girls contacted Nordstrom and said "Get rid of this crap" and Nordstrom listened! Go girl power .. I really dislike Disney though. Horrible. But my youngest seems to like it.
Maybe we can give our kids the self image we wanted for ourselves. Maybe they won't have to live in fear of lower mortality rates than their parents. Maybe we can eventually teach supermodels how to eat....now, wouldn't THAT be something? Maybe the schools will catch on? Maybe pizza will disappear from the "veggie" category (really?? really??)
I don't know. I can't say that all this rambling of mine will help prevent teenage pregnancies in Jr. High and bullying throughout life. But, I'd like to think that if our kids are encouraged by us and believe in themselves, maybe they can encourage others to do so as well. Maybe someday proper eating and healthy habits will be just as routine as teeth brushing for everyone.
Wasn't I talking about Yosemite or something.
Dang it....I did it again .
Thursday, June 21, 2012
I thought it was the lack of coffee yesterday. I get like that once in awhile. A little blue, a little out of sorts. Nothing major, nothing bad...just "off" ya know?
I was like that the last few days wandering around lost in my own thoughts and I tell my Kate "you know what bugs me? When you give 90% and text and Facebook and call and the moment you stop, no one ever acknowledges your existence." She agreed and we talked about how by moving here we seemed to have lost our inner circle status.
See, for a bit when we lived in Washington, we had what so many people dreamed of. I had people coming and going at my house at all hours like they were family, because they WERE. My friends knew more about my kids then my my own relatives. People would come through the door "honey I'm home" and I'd offer them a drink...coffee brewing, conversations flowing, and cards every Friday no matter what. It was what you saw on sitcoms and wished for. We had it.
Because times change, Zach moved to Southern Cali, Travis moved home to San Antonio, then Kim met her superman :o) and moved to the East Coast, then Daniel followed his brother and soon after we moved to California before Bonnie hit Spokane. I joke with them sometimes how the universe just couldn't handle all of us in one state and moved us across the nation.
And although I have family in California, it's not the same. They are all over an hour away and frankly, hubby's not into "visiting" family. Especially in Stockton (it IS scary, but I figure it's mostly my family so it's okay LOL **I have over 108 cousins alone**)
So, anyway....I was kind of upset because one of my friends never responds anymore unless I text her repeatedly or she's bored or something, I don't know. Always "too busy" with the boyfriend and ... well, how can people just be too busy to take 30 seconds out of their day? How? I try and take the time to say "hello" on Spark and I don't even KNOW you !! LOL so, we were talking how if I left Facebook and I quit texting.....how many would reply back? and most importantly, what did I do to piss all these people off? What was WRONG with me??
About that time I received a text
"...Had a potluck today...I had small amounts of food and was stuffed...."
I didn't say I was looking for anything mushy, silly! LOL but it was a voice, a voice reaching out to ME when I needed it the most. And she didn't even know it.
I told her, "you made my day and didn't even know it" You know why? Because. Because she took 10 seconds of her whole day to tell me about hers. To say "hey, I haven't forgotten you even though we are 100s of miles apart" She responded later that night with her Dad's death....then I felt stupid. Because all this time I had been waiting for words, and now I couldn't be there with HER. To share in her grief.
I people watch at the malls and at various places I am at and I wonder. How is it that we can all share the same planet and none of us dare to look at each other in the eyes? Is it the fears of the few creepers that keep us from establishing new villages of friendships?
Everyday I look on my Spark and I wonder about all of you. I read your blogs and mark your comments. I wonder if you are as lonely as I can be or if there is a support system around you. I live vicariously though all of you. It's so strange that we live in a world of social networking and yet, we can all feel so alone.
I think of my friend and wish I could be with her again. I wish I could lend a shoulder from across the 48 states and let her know, not just through text, how much I love and miss her. I wish her husband, her, my husband and I could be sitting around playing cards while the girls are off doing their own social networking. We would laugh real loud about the Seahawks and plan our gym trip for the next morning....maybe the boys would discuss golf.
If you have a friend out there.....take a minute right now and let them know. Take ten freaking seconds a day and say "hey, I'm thinking of you" It could mean the world to them.
I know it did me.
And yes, as of date....she is still the only one who has managed an acknowledgement.
I love her so much for that.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
This morning is rough. There is no coffee or creamer in my house. When I woke up and saw this I thought for sure the world has ended. As I look around and still see dust in my apartment, I knew I hadn't reached the afterlife yet which in turn means, the world still stands without my coffee.
Normally in the emergency case, I would walk down to Starbucks and by a cup of coffee, but my bank, although never depositing a post dated check, has it in their policy to simply cash mine whenever they please as long as it gets them their $35 OD fees. I really think banks ultimate purpose in life is to make sure you have no money in their accounts so that they do. I don't know why it took me this long to figure that out.
Anyhow, I am writing this blog coffeeless, grumpy, and broke so be wary....be vewy wary...heheheheheh.
Since my last blog I have gone to the gym. I did. My youngest wanted to go with me and not to swim, which was a nice surprise for me. We both walked up there and I listened to her talk about her life and what was new in it. We got there and both decided to try the stairmasters. We watched Season 3 of The Biggest Loser and the contestants were done with going up the escalator stairs after ten or so minutes and we were like "huh, let's go try that out" I made six minutes and Tt was bored after 7. LOL Then we did some Ab shoot hoops. I did 75 and she did 100. Man, for being a smallfry she can kick my butt. I then decided I wanted to do my run and hopped on the treadmill for 30 minutes, before watching her swim for an hour and heading home.
It was nice. I didn't even think of my embarassing moment. I even offered to do the dumbells (I didn't know there was a set upstairs!!) but she wanted to go swimming at that time. It almost felt like we were the only two there and I can actually say "I had fun". I hope she did too :o) Depending on the schedules today I want to go back. I need to organize my schedule for the summer.
We still have cheer, dance, band, drum major camp, a camping trip to Yosemite this weekend, looking for a place in Frisco (oh, I think I found one I want to tour), and all that sporadically throughout the summer. Among a run I want to try and squeeze in, a wedding that hubs and Tt are going to, a concert, a birthday party, and a performance. That doesn't even include me trying to get books for MY school or the soon to be dreaded school shopping for the girls. I think I need a second job.
On Father's Day the girls got Tom his Obsession and he went golfing. After he came back we decided to go to IHops for dinner. Now, the girls and I knew we were going out all day so I in preperation did not eat. I normally have a garden veggie crepe with hollaindaise sauce which is well over my calories for the day. When I got there I thought "well, I'll try the simple and fit menu" and got the veggie omelet and fruit cup.
the next day I tallied my total and realized I was under my days's worth by over 600 calories...whoops and yeay? LOL That dinner was only 360 calories....AT A RESTAURANT!! I am so glad restaurants and helping people to make healthy choices.
I think that's all the news for today. I dropped one kid off, another going to cheer, I will be working on my place as soon as I get off here. That seems to be my never ending battle and if I can get er done, it will feel like an accomplishment of ten pounds, at least!!
so, let's see...today is Tuesday.
I need to for this week:
drink my water and not freak out over my coffee woes
clean my apartment and make it sparkle!
clean car and get in for oil leak fix.
plan menu for Yosemite camping trip
plan Yosemite hiking trips to waterfalls
not forget to weigh in for Summer 5% challenge!!!
Have a great one and "e-ya" all later
Friday, June 15, 2012
I was totally engulfed in my couch when I realized what time it was. My youngest was in the other room playing with his daughter who is close in age so I looked at him and said "would you tell the girls it's bed time"
He looked at me and tilted his head to one side, his brown eyes gazing at me.
"just tell them to go to bed" and he left the room. I was content, happy, and found his father like demeanor with the girls rather sexy. I looked down at my toned, olive colored skin and remember thinking how white looked awesome on it.
then I woke up.
I have adored Johnny Depp since before he was a Pirate. I have liked him since way back on "21 Jump Street" and his debut on "Nightmare on Elm Street".
Let's just say he's my fifth member of Duran Duran
I lay there in bed a moment, all the weight of my body crashing back to reality. I took a look at my arms...maybe they would be toned and olive complexed? I sighed as I saw the familiar jiggle of white dotted with a calico of freckles even down to the finger tips. My nails chewed and scraggly, my ring appearing to be cutting off the circulation of a pudgy stout finger.
I slithered out of bed towards the bathroom to complete my morning routine: pee, weight (175), and avoid the mirror like the vampiress I can be before my morning cup of java.
Standing in the kitchen, head on the cabinet, waiting for my first cup to finish brewing (a task that any coffee drinker knows is the longest part of the day) and I think
"aren't good dreams supposed to make one feel GOOD?!"
I closed my eyes and for a fleeting moment saw myself standing there. Tall, slender, long black hair, olive complexion, maybe I have an accent, my white dress flowing about me....sighs Everything I could never be short of switching ethnicity with somebody.
I open them. Coffee just starting to brew.
What was I going to do today? Summer's arrived and the weather's going to break over 100 this week. I looked up long enough to get a good look at my kitchen and for the first time that morning, formed a smile. It is pink. Even now when I should be getting tired of the color, it still makes me smile. I only wish I could carry it to the next house.
I sit down at the computer with my coffee and two creamers and think "what to do what to do". I can't go back to the gym after last week's fart fiasco! I shake my head to clear the thought. I AM that woman. The woman with the wild hair tucked in a ponytail, colored weekly to diffuse it. The jiggly, calico, middle aged, mirror avoiding, gym tootin woman in her pink kitchen sipping her morning coffee wishing she were someone else. Anyone else.
I glance through Spark blogs and smile a little. Plans, goals, fears, frustrations. Everyone pushing forward and towards something. I look at the time. I could've been done with a morning routine....I still can. It's just an hour, or even a half, or as a very good Sparkie friend said "ten minutes a day....just MOVE"
I look at the workout DVDs. Not today...too hot
a walk? a run?
No way Jose
No bathing suit
then get to the gym and move!!
Are you nuts?? My body BETRAYED me while running on the treadmill! I know the whole state of California heard it, I just KNOW it and they've all labeled me I feel it. It was bad enough being banned from the dumbbells by fear, but now?? are you NUTS?!
You are right. Just sit there, in your pink kitchen dreaming another dream that will never happen as long as you do nothing about it. Wait, wait for nothing except to go to bed for another dream. That will solve all your problems. Stay comfortable why don't you? Avoidance is key in this now isn't it?
that's what I thought. Your workout clothes are on the dryer. Now, what are we doing today?
I bet Jillian is a lot nicer than you. I'm taking the girls swimming at the gym. I'm going to run on the treadmill, but if anything happens.....I'll just die I know it.
If anything happens you can come back and dye your hair again. Hair color is on the kitchen counter...they'll never recognize you. Just like they will never recognize you in your absolutely gorgeous dress. Are you going to let your daughter keep it, or are you going to fight for it?
I guess I'm going.
I pick up the clothes off the dryer and my mind tries to clear itself from the fog and confetti cluttering it.
I am doing this for me. I won't be that girl in the dream, but I can be a dream girl.
A girl with muscle, tonnage, and definition. A girl running with shorts that finally don't ride and running for fun, not just cuz she has to. Someone who faces her own silly childhood fears of the gym and encourages others there. A girl who colors her hair for fun and wears sexy dresses and heals because she can. A half blind, partially deaf, middle aged girl with fair skin covered in calico freckles down to her fingertips,
that could be sexy, right?
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
I have this prechallenge thing to do before we begin our Summer 5% challenge and I thought this question was so intriquing, I'd post it. Here goes:
"For the purpose of this assignment a Trigger Food is defined as the one that gets you off course for the next hour and you are not eating because you are truly hungry. A Trigger Situation is where you are, who you are with and what you are doing when this happens. Example Ė you are home alone had a cookie, then another and next you are looting the kitchen for anything that looks good. Or you had good intentions about going out for dinner with a friend, but a high calorie appetizer and then a big dessert also landed in front of you. An hour later you regret that little binge and donít even want to think how many calories you just consumed! You tell yourself, I know better, why did I do? I wonít do that again!
Let's assess the Triggers -
List ALL your trigger foods. Is it a snack food or part of a meal? Are they sweet or salty? Hot, cold or room temperature? Carbs, comfort foods?
What are the sources of the Triggers Foods? Is it a fast food restaurant? Drive thru? Food you order in? Grocery store? Convenience store? Meals at family or friends? Co-workers birthday cake? Treats from others?
Describe the most common situations where you reach for the trigger foods or snacks. What room are you in, what time is it, what are you doing, who is with you, and how do you feel? Are you tired? Are you eating to feel better? Are you rewarding yourself? Soothing yourself? Are you bored? By getting the food how does it make what you are doing better? What should you be doing at that time?
Do you see a pattern? What types of foods are you reaching for? Does convenient access make a difference? How can you better handle the situations to avoid the triggers and not binge or eat more than you should.
That is what this assignment is about - how will you not do that again? Can you pick a replacement habit or behavior that will cause you to pause to think do I really want to do this, and why? Maybe it would help to walk away from the trigger - drink water, go for a walk, phone a friend, go outside, look out the window, brush your teeth, or play with your pet? Be consistent so you can develop the new habit.
Write out your strategy to avoid the Triggers. Maybe itís baby steps to get you started or moderation. Donít be a perfectionist. Consider most of the time you will get it right.
I am going to do a couple of things - 1) record it in Spark Nutrition before I eat it and if I still want it after I see the calories, I will still eat it, but I will be mindful of what I am doing. 2) walk the dog for a walk around the block.
What did you learn from doing this assignment? Anything else to add?"
Many of you may already know my trigger. I joke about it sometimes, but truth is it's Brownies and/or chocolate frosting.
The thing I have noticed though is there's no real "trigger" on WHY. If it's in front of me I will eat it. However, there's NO portion control....actually there's NO control. It's mine....allllll mine. No regrets til weigh in day.
Other triggers that are almost as bad are eewwy gooey warm homemade chocolate chip cookies, lots of cheddar mashed potatoes, and regular Ruffles potato chips. All these sweet, salty, savory things I just love the texture, the warmth the flavors and go NUTS!!!!
So, what can I do? Not much....other than to completely avoid them altogether. I've tried the moderation at parties....forget it...I have a plate of Ruffles with no shame and the funny thing is...it will be piled on top of my huge plate of carrots, celery, broccoli, tomatoes piled high with Ruffles....sighs....
Speaking of foods I have been doing more or less a plant based diet for over the past two weeks now. It's weird as it's the first thing I've been able to consistently stick with and guess what? My blood pressure is now been pretty steady at 120s/90s.....waaaaay better than the 150s/100s we were concered with!! I'm going to check in with my Dr tomorrow and see what she says. I've been watching it slowly go down...the weekend of camping was a nice steady 130s...almost better than watching the scale drop...almost.
So, I just may stick with this one. I don't even miss bacon. at ALL...I'm not going totally vegan or vegetarian (I don't think) so if I feel like eating something I will...I just strangely enough haven't felt like it.
I found red quinoa over the weekend. Going to make it tomorrow morning with some almond milk, berries, and pecans for breakfast. I will let you know how it is.
so my dress came. It looks GREAT on my daughters the turd birds! LOL My middle one wore it for her school's graduation. I attempted to try it on (as you can imagine I was pretty discouraged when it fit my girls) and although it was slightly tight in the waist the biggest goals are going to be the chest area. feels like a good 4-5"....yipes!!!
I shall prevail!!!
Then I shall HAVE to buy shoes!
alrightie....other than that....we are on an official house hunt now. Sounds like we go tthe okay for financing (finally!!!)
Now if we could just agree on what we all want :p
Going to head to bed in a bit....gots a Shape it Up to do tomorrow...wait, no oh fudge, how did I lose track already?
p.s. What's YOUR trigger foods and why?
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