Wednesday, April 25, 2012
I'm sitting here scratching my head and pondering some things. Pondering is the perfect time to run. I never get any answers, but for some reason the questions form more clearly. LOL Or at the very least, I FEEL better.
I signed up for my first run since December. I'm pretty happy about it. It's a 5K at the high school for the local schools. A very good cause indeed. Then Tom signed me up for the Komen run/walk the following weekend! woo hoo! I'm still hoping to do the Color Run this summer and the girls and I are still wishing for the Bay to Breakers. Hoping maybe some money will fall into my lap before then? (Daddy Warbucks where ARE you??)
Been keeping busy even if I can't work out. Moving hubby back into our apartment. My apartment manager saw my pink kitchen and says to me "you know, I've had people come into the office and tell me there's a pink kitchen and there it is" LOL As our apartment is facing the parking lot...EVERYONE gets a view to it if the blinds are open :p
I'm glad he's moving in. This may sound bad so bear with me, but it will give us six months to see if this is really going to work. You know? My fear is that he is thinking it's going to go back to the way it was.....we all say NOT!!
I made sixty pounds of potato salad for the Air Force (a morale project and they seem to like my salad) While I was doing this he made his yumdelish homemade BBQ sauce for his ribs......only he added a little something. He came home with a bottle of Jack Daniels. He looked at me and said "for the sauce only, you can do whatever you want with the bottle when I'm done cuz I know you like Jack" Truth is I do, but I also haven't touched the stuff in well over a year.... He used one cup in the sauce, then I took the bottle cumped and threw it away ...
I'm not quite sure what to do about these things...if it's going to be a problem or not. But little things like we were moving the other day. It was very hot and he says "oooooh you know what sounds good? vodka/tonic or those Southern Teas from Joe's crabshack, doesn't it?" How do I answer? I just bite my lip because I wonder, should I say "no way man...no way" and go balls on psycho or do I not lose my humor and good graces and say stuff like "yeah, it does sound good...too bad its not good for us"?
Wanna hear something really weird? Sad, but weird? I found my diary from 1989 and began to read some stuff outloud to my daughter....some of the contents said
"...I really want to go to school, but....." or "..is he an alcoholic?" and "I would love just one week to be me..." and soon thereafter "I feel numb to emotions" a phrase commonly used on me today.
fast forward 25 years and read my blogs....crazy. Can a person really pretend and deny for that long? Apparently so. It's like a broken record that I never bothered to fix until now.
I am going to go for a run now. Ponder these thoughts that hit and miss my confettied brain. I think rather than 30 minutes, I want an hour....I feel like an hour today. Then I will come home and jigsaw 3000 sq feet of stuff into our less than 1000 sq foot apartment. It's like a hoarder's maze around here! LOL
Then I'm taking my Clean Eating menu and getting us some fooooood!! My oldest has a concert tonight so tonight will have to be quick and easy.
and I also have to think of what to do for date night....I mean, aside from the "obvious"
Monday, April 16, 2012
Well I'm trying to go Monica Gellard on this place. I think rather than trying to tackle Spring Cleaning on the whole apartment in one day, it would behoove me to do a bit at a time. Today will be the kitchen and the laundry basket in the dining room. Yup. It's not full of laundry either...its full of these crafty things and pictures and stuff that I never know where to put. So, I need to put them somewhere....maybe a junk drawer? No. That's full.
Any of you ever try spinning on those stationary bike thingies? Holy smacks. I went back to the gym the other night thinking I would do it to "ease" back into working out. I thought this as I was huffing and puffing walking accross the street to the gym! Golly I let myself get out of shape. So, anyhow, I pedal on this thing and listen to the music and when I say I pedalled I pushed myself. I really wanted to work up a sweat and burn a minimum of 300 calories for the day, ya know? After 45 minutes I made it to 290ish calories and got off the bike as my oldest was going to pick me up (it wsa dark at this time and they don't call me Blind Batty for nuthing)
I was a little happy to find my legs feeling like sea legs and disappointed that they didn't burn more....that was until I got into my daughter's car.
I thought I broke my butt gosh darnit. I mean to tell you it felt like someone shoved a stick up there! LOL awful. awful. They need to make better seats. I hurt for a full day after that and not in a good way.
yesterday i did a little inner thigh machine thingie and today....today today today.
well, I did the dishes.
I'm trying to decide should i hit the gym again (more likely I will) or a DVD
I dunno....as long as I do it though right? and that laundry basket full of stuff.
In other news: My oldest got accepted to San Fran State University and she is just beside herself. She has been obsessing over apartments and whatnot. a studio the size of my bathroom goes for over $1000 yipes!!!
Hubby's lease is up this month at his place and he was going to stay here. He's hyming and hawing about it as he's worried about 5 people in a little 3 bedroom. None of the girls are willing to share a bedroom (cept for me cuz I really don't care) and he's worried about the stress of it all. I guess I understand. I do have 4 hotheads in my house. why couldn't any of them be chill like me? LMAO So I'm supposed to decide if he stays here and pays off bills or if he should rent a place here and lives there. I suggested he rent a one bedroom and let the oldest live in it until we get her to Frisco, but somehow NO ONE heard that awesome idea. **shrugs**
We are supposed to go to his brother's wedding in August and that was going to be my goal weight date...only he's already married!! What's the point? LOL I dunno. That's a lot of money to go to a ceremony that's not really a ceremony when i've gotta move a kid to the most expensive city in the States. So, I'll have to come up with a good goal weight date. I think my school is planning a 25 year reunion...that might be a good one...as long as it's August...holy smokes I don't know that I could lose 40 pounds in one or two months!! LOL
okay, okay....you guys are all caught up...sort of. I've got to go get out a DVD before I got get the kids from school. I think they miss Spring Break already. Goodness knows I am so ready for summer!!!
Monday, April 09, 2012
I made this first one. Then the girls chipped in. Now my table (I have a table now) looks all colorful and pretty in Easter colors. They are carrot cupcakes, but not so good because my oven burns everything. Oh well, cupcakes for decorative purposes only are a good thing for healthy lifestyle changes, right? LOL
I tried to make chick deviled eggs, but all my eggs fell apart...so I have egg salad in the fridge for tomorrow.
Happy Easter Everyone!!
Friday, April 06, 2012
I'm still not sure why I was binging on sweets the way I was. Tuesday, I hit an emotional trigger when I saw one of the contestants on the Biggest Loser's preview start on it though..(chris) For a flash, I felt like her and so I felt for her. Weird, I know. But, the eating, although still way out of control calorie wise is settling down nutritionally.
I, for fun, tried Veganism. It was supposed to be for two week as I heard on the news it would boost energy and blood flow. Admittdly I do feel much more energized the past few days and I am glad as I also started taking the Pill again. Women over 40 should to help prevent certain cancers etc. I was worried that the Pill may have some sort of "blues" affect or weight gain, but so far so good. Again, if anything I feel pretty mellow.
Some of the recipes were tasty. I made this vegan lasagne. You blend soft tofu with spinach, onions and some spices and spread the mixture in layers of the noodles and sauce. I also added mushrooms, and eggplant to really make it a garden style. Then on the top I used the Vegan mozzerella. We all looked at this dish suspicously like it could harm us in some way LOL...but it wsa really good! My youngest had 3 helpings which is more than my regular lasagne ..
Some of the recipes though...
towards the 2nd week, my middle daughter says "can we have ribs now?"
So, veganism is out of this house. Flexitarian stays :o)
And speaking of comings and goings hubby's lease is up. He's been dry and his behavior reflects such. I'm so glad. Not just for us, but for HIM. He almost seems like he's happy and let me tell you; that's something I haven't seen him in in a looong time. As my lease is for a full year he will be slowly moving his stuff over here. But the kitchen stays pink. I'm pretty firm on that. LOL Hey, don't judge, I have my reasons. We will be looking for us a house as I just received a call that as long as our old house doesn't haunt us with the foreclosure date, we can get a prequal letter reflecting a summer closing ..
keep prayers on that one!!
My oldest is still awaiting news from her dream University. I really hope they take her. She's been doing so well herself the past couple of years. I can't believe she'll have her Associates next month. She said she doesn't want a party ... I think she's crazy! LOL Party party party with some vegan lasagne!! woot woot!
I found some socks today. Seems the oldest took ALL of our sox with her to Chicago (don't ask...really, just don't) I thought I was going crazy looking for those things!!
So, hidden pair claimed I put on my shoes and will be heading over to the gym to get in a nice brisk 30 minute cardio. My Spring break is about over and the girls begin today!! yeay yeay yeay :o)
1. I've got to learn to meditate or just be. I still struggle with "hey I'm upset" so I need to learn when I am. **personal hint to self** If ya have a tub of chocolate frosting in your hand, you may be upset about something.
2. I really want to lose more than 10 lbs in a year. I guess that goes with the yo yo outlook, so I guess goal number two is to STAY FOCUSED!!
3. It doesn't matter what workout DVD I'm doing, as long as I do one!! I need to quit obsessing over starting one "on Monday" and sticking with the program and ...JUST DO IT GIRL!!
4. Just because I don't know what to eat, doesn't mean I have to eat everything.
4a. If I go over in calories, does NOT give me free range of calories for the day.
OBKB, I know I'm upset at myself for not achieving ONE single run this year. (mainly $$$$$) but there is a run coming up for the local school. I am going to sign up for that..It's in May. I'm probably not doing the Bay to Breakers this year which breaks my heart.
Have a happy Easter everyone. Hope we all find our happy place inside and get to where we want to be.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Ugh what a horrid number for me. I say thins because of how proud I was of getting to 169. I am going to keep going I said.
It's my own fault really. Binging on a whole can of chocolate frosting will do that to you. or several.
The thing is I can't even tell you why. I wanna say "oh, I'm just being lazy" or I dunno....I can blame it on lack of time for midterms? I can blame it on the lack of time for kids, and hubby demanding HIS time (good lord don't get me started...LOL) i can blame it on the rain, why does this blog all of sudden sound like
I mean I really don't know. all I know is that it needs to stop and NOW.
so, as of today I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do...only what I've done.
Guess I better go do something then.
Wish me luck!!
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