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Life goes on. (longest blog I've ever written)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Ever have those days that you have to force yourself to make better?

I woke up at 175 today. I stared at the scale knowing this was something I should rejoice but the weekend has left me numb to emotion. It started years ago, but for blogging purposes I will take you to Saturday morning.

I use this blog as a diary, so to speak. Many of us do. It's our emotions and mental awareness that helps us push ourselves, or consumes our emotional eating. Saturday morning I woke up to 179.9.

I had been struggling with the 179/180 and I knew it was due to stress. Ah, that lovely word we all hear and try to desperately to ignore. I tried to and it caught up with me.

My daughters and I had a day planned for Saturday. We were to take D2 to her dance class and then hit a baby shower 1.14 hours away in Stockton, then come back and I would take hubby out to dinner since I had been stood up for a couple of date nights now due to time, money etc.

Hubby, as we put it, was in "one of his moods" and so we asked "do you want us to cancel the shower" ? He had been complaining that there was no time for him and although we had been trying to accomodate, it isn't enough. He said nothing so we left...I knew I knew then. I've known for a while. I took D2 to dance and we headed to Stockton. When we got there it was a pizza place and everyone was gone with the new Mom packing her car.

"you missed it" she said kinda irritated

"impossible!" I said "I have 15 minutes of oogle time and the party never starts til we arrive anyhows!"

We gave her the gifts, told her to schedule delivery in Modesto (2 hours from us) on such and such date as we had to be there for D3 cheer. She smiled and she left. The girls and I ordered a pizza and watched Washington State kick California's butt in Football. Being from Washington, we cheered...the waitress hands us pizza and ask "you like Washington?"

"yup lived there forever"
when a very tatoo'd, bald man turned and said "I'm a Raider's fan"


My poor D1 turned white. We had just experienced shootings between Raiders/49ers in SF and we are in what my husband calls the ghetto of cali (I grew up here, sorry) LOL so yeah, she turned colors. I laughed and we continued to eat...cheering a little more silently.

I got up to go to the bathroom and mowed over a small child. Man, I need to remember my cane. She was okay cept I "hurt her butt" .... after apologizing to her Dad 1,000 times and coming back to the booth to 3 hysterically laughing girls we decided it was time to go.

As we had to go through Sacramento anyhows to get back home and my brother lives in Sacramento we decided to invade his house. We chatted a bit, laughed and visited when I reminded the girls I had a date night.

We drove home to a very somber person..I looked and there was another bottle gone. I sighed as I knew date night was out of the question. He went for a smoke and I followed.

"I'm leaving for Washington tomorrow" he simply states to me and my 12 year old D3.

"oh, I see" I said ... having heard this many a times before. "so no date night again tonight?"

"yup. going to go pack now. I'm done"

the "I'm done" is his favorite line when drinking, by the way.

D3 ran upstairs crying and I was not going to let this ruin our already good day. "Girls, let's go" I said and texted back my brother "we're invading you for the night" I wrote.

As we got into the car he asked "where is my pistol?" I looked at him "you're kidding right? you want me to tell you in your frame of mind?"

"I'm not gonna do anything but pack it"

"well, then I'll ship it UPS but you are not getting it...I'm leaving for the night and will see you in the morning."

"I won't be here"

"uh huh, sure dear" and we left.

The girls and I went to the fountains. Just for a walk. It was pretty and the weather was a perfectly cool night. I tried taking a couple of pics of the jazz band playing but it was too dark. My D1 bought us all gelatto and the youngest asked.

"do you think he's leaving?"

"no. but we have to." They all looked at me. I, too, had said this many a times. But, in my heart of hearts I knew as I stood there looking at the fountains just beyond our picture being taken, that this time; it was true.

When we got to my brother's house I explained quickly what was going on. I really don't delve into my problems so they really had no idea what was going on when my phone chirped that I had a voice mail. It was my MIL very angry demanding that I "get those girls back in the car and deal with this GD problem!!"


then about 10 minutes later I received another voicemail:

"So, I talked to the family (his mom) and my Mom said I couldn't leave and we're gonna split the bank and so which bedroom do you want?"

I turned off the phone and went to bed.

The next morning I was sick....I mean really really sick. I didn't want to explode the downstairs bathroom so I looked at D1 and whispered "I'm going upstairs to use that potty"

Have you ever seen Dumb and Dumber? You know what's WORSE that that situation? Having had JUST talked about that when

"knock knock"
"Um...mom....the toilet's broken in there"

I'm pretty sure I lost the five pounds in there. I'm pretty sure my brother will never invite me back.

It was awkward arriving at home as I knew it would be. My stomache tossed and turned some more. I went to say something when:

"We are going to get separate places. If in 6 months or whatever we come to our senses then, we'll go from there."

"ok" I said

the rest of the day was actually.......great. We talked, said "I love you" looked for apartments together, discussed how to sort things, who wanted what. No one would claim the bird, and we even had sex...then discussed that neither one of us had intentions of dating and how were weekends? It was so strange and surreal...like I was in a dream only it kept going and there were no flying above trees.

"Are you nervous?" I asked "I mean, we've been together since I was 16...what do I do if I don't have you being miserable?" I could see him thinking "I guess try to be happy" he said.

I looked at him as a human for once and wondered. It was weird to see him that way as I just haven't tried to see him at all in the past what feels like 10 years.

The phone rang and it was my brother in law, Doyle. I listened to the phone call and after I hung up stared at it...

"what is it?" hubby asked

His ex wife had overdosed on herionne the night before. They found her body. Their 2 girls were devastated.

I tossed the phone on the couch. "she's dead" and walked away.

Why couldn't I cry? Shouldn't I be crying with the impending separation and horrible death. Why was everything so foggy yet so vividly clear? I scolded myself internally for not crying. Where were the tears? Am I an evil person for not feeling anything??? Remorse? Guilt? something??!?? and why were we getting along better NOW as we hunt for apartments and plan counseling and he plans on buying his own house and...why are we, dare I say it, happy?

So as I stand on the scale this morning, clearly 5 pounds lighter and exhausted from the weekend I think. I really am as unemotional as my D1 used to accuse me of. My mind ponders the days activities ahead. I have to make 100 pounds of potato salad today, read Acts II and III of Shakesphere for class, D2 has dance, and life goes on.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACIOUSGRAPE 10/21/2011 2:14PM

    Just read this today. I have been where you are, living with an alcoholic. I,too, had to hid the guns as he threatened me constantly, and also talked suicide. I lived that way for 13 years. It was not healthy for my boys, or me. I finally got to the point, after he tried to slash my throat with a broken wine bottle in a drunken rage, and then again when he tried to choke me - again in a drunken rage, that I filed for divorce. He left the state, after cleaning out the bank account, and our business account, plus stole the newest business vehicle. But I could breathe - I felt the biggest relief of my life - my family was extremely relieved. I had a lot of debt to overcome and had to borrow money to pay personal and business bills - but it was worth it. I have a life of peace and calm now. I loved him dearly, but had to come to the realization that he loved alcohol more than he loved me - and I could not compete for his affections. I would lose every time.

You will live through this. It sounds as if you have supportive family and you need that. It is terrible that your ex-sister-in-law choice that method to die and left her family with guilt and grief.

When you are constantly dealing with an alcoholic, you do tend to stop being able to show emotions. I don't cry a lot to this day (5 years later). I think I cried myself all out in the earlier years of our marriage, when I thought there was hope to save it. Be strong, find comfort in your friends, family and faith. You are stronger than you realize. My thoughts and prayers are with you. emoticon

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SCOTMAMA 9/30/2011 9:21PM

    I know it's been a few days since you wrote this, but I wanted to write something to you anyway. You know, we all act and think weird thoughts when a break-up or divorce is emminent. So don't think you're crazy or different.

I know how your emotions had you going from one level to another and it feels so awful. So don't feel bad about any of the emotions that you went through -- just bear with it.


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RICKEFFEL 9/29/2011 11:09PM

    {{{hugs}}} and prayers.

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YOURJONES 9/29/2011 1:16PM

    I'm a little late reading this. Sending you love and light.
and emoticon

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LYNETTEMOM 9/29/2011 12:51PM

    I went through a very messy marital break-up so I want to tell you that things do get better. Use any support that is offered because you will do better if you don't try to be Super-Woman. It won't be easy but you can do it! emoticon

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ENDUROVET 9/28/2011 11:23PM

    Wow. Just wow. Was it only last summer when I stuck my foot (figuratively speaking) in my mouth, responding to one of your blogs when it turned out you were only joking about divorce??!!??

The blog is good for emotionally venting & we're here for you as much as we can be!

Hang in there babe,

Love & prayers, Val

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JOYCERN12 9/28/2011 11:08PM

    Hey, Just met up with you recently but am pretty sure the answer is no, you are not "unemotional" or bad, You will deal with things as they come, your body and mind will narrow the focus to what is important in the here and now. Just remember to forgive yourself when it catches up to you in 2-3 days or weeks and you explode and cry your eyes out over a spilt bottle of nail polish....personal experience there.... or something as minute. Joyce from you Amazon Warrior Team.

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BRATS4 9/28/2011 2:35PM

    my youngest is going though the same thing.i will add your family to my prayers

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A-STRONGER-ME 9/28/2011 10:50AM

    Corrine, we all grieve in different ways - give it time. And give personal counseling some serious thought - you have a ton on your plate. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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IFATFIRST77 9/28/2011 12:21AM

    sending hope and hugs your way emoticon

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LAURAKINS 9/27/2011 10:01PM


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HI-NRG 9/27/2011 3:30PM

    I am so sorry. Sorry that you are going through all this. You have three very good reasons to keep coming here for support and not giving up. I hope that our support helps you. I know all your comments and encouragement has lifted my spirits many a time.

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KIMBERTA99 9/27/2011 2:39PM

    Oh my goodness what a weekend you had. Take time to process everything. I hope you and your husband can find your way back....sometimes we need a break from our significant other to figure out what we really want. If you were meant to be together you will. Take care emoticon

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RED_WRITINGHOOD 9/27/2011 2:07PM

    Just take a breath and spend sometime sorting everything out. The emotions will eventually come.

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KKINNEA 9/27/2011 1:38PM

    I think you need time to take it all in. Don't beat yourself up right now and take it one day at a time.

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NELLIEC 9/27/2011 1:36PM

    Wow, reminds me of when I decided to separate from my abusive husband. Tough decision, but I actually felt somewhat better after it, in spite of the turmoil. And later, when we tried to reconcile and ended up divorcing, I felt numb for a while, then despondent, and then better. (The despondency was worry that he would take the kids, but the courts said no to that.)

I will be praying for you and the situation.

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SASSISPRING 9/27/2011 12:50PM

    You ask why can't you cry, you are numb, shock, shut-down. Those tears will come later, probably when you least expect them and probably over something very irrelevant. You've lived more in one weekend than most people live in a lifetime. You made many right decisions, including refusing to stay when he asked for the gun and refusing to tell him where the gun was. When you shut off the phone. How you spoke with your daughters. Everything. I hope that you find support, check in a woman's shelter for support - not check in to stay, per se...more check in to see if there is someone you can speak with. It's the counsellor in me and also the woman in me. I left an abusive relationship, I remember those dark days leading up to the final time I said "I'm gone" and the times after, how it was. I didn't cry at the time over anything, yet I wept when something silly happened or something caught me on TV. More than crying, I reacted with anger. Some women react by completely shutting down, some cannot stop crying, some continue onwards like everything is cool until one day they simply cannot get out of bed. Shock, numbness, it does it to you. I'm sorry to hear about the death of your brother'n'law's ex-wife, very sad. feel free to mail me anytime even if all you want to do is vent. (((many hugs)))

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CHOCOHOLIC2276 9/27/2011 12:34PM

    It sounds like you are both wanting a change. Good for you for taking this step. Whether it works out or not as far as your relationship is concerned, you'll figure it out in the coming days.

For now focus on you, your needs and your daughters' needs. Just focus on living each day. Sending prayers your way. emoticon

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KIM_POSSIBLE77 9/27/2011 12:28PM

    You will cry...at one point something will trigger that and you will cry. I will send you a message about the rest...I love you my dear!

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THETURTLEBEAR 9/27/2011 12:18PM

    I have one word for you: Alanon. Because underneath it all, that's what's going on. Everything else just stems from that. His emotional state is based on that, and yours is based on his. Take it a day at a time. Find a meeting (and support) for YOU. They have groups for teens too.

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    Wow, that's a lot to handle! I feel for you, and hope things work out okay. Sounds like you've got a good relationship with your daughters, which is wonderful. Don't feel bad about not crying - everyone responds in their own way, and I'm sure you're trying to stay sane, so you weren't ready to let go.
Take care, girl. I'll be thinking of you!

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LEAELLEN07 9/27/2011 11:59AM

    I can't really form a sentence together that doesn't sound silly and trite. You are strong and you are loved. emoticon

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BAKER1009 9/27/2011 11:55AM

    Oh honey, what a weekend!! I sure hope you are still managing to hold up okay. Sometimes I think we realize that letting go is just the best thing to do. As hard as it is, it can also come as a sense of relief. I know you've told me about these issues before, so it was just a long time coming, right?
My ex and I spent a long time being miserable while trying to keep each other happy. When we finally decided to call it quits, we acted much in the manner that you two are now. Life goes on...you are right!
I'm here for you, always!


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I'm here!

Monday, September 19, 2011

I'm just extremely exhausted.

More mentally than physically.

But if I become exhausted physically, maybe I won't be mentally.

hmmm...things to ponder for Monday.

Is it Friday yet?


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIAJOEB 9/25/2011 1:26AM

    It sounds like your week was like mine.. so glad you are just as tired..
Give yourself a chance to enjoy a little Sunday..

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WHATAGRL42 9/24/2011 4:58PM

    I am always surprised at how much working out gives me energy, rather than drains my energy!! Still, when I am feeling drained to begin with, mustering up the inclination to do something physical is almost impossible. But on rare occasion when I DO manage to forge on and do something physical despite my exhaustion, I feel oddly revitalized. Hmmmmmm.....

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RICKEFFEL 9/20/2011 10:51PM

    I think you've got something there..... the mental/physical connection.

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TWNOMWE 9/20/2011 3:54PM

    Hope that you have found your groove back!!!
Mentally the brain want to stay on Sunday.
Relaxation may help. emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/23/2011 12:31:27 PM

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HOPEFULHIPPO 9/19/2011 6:54PM

    LOL thanks everone...was mainly a blog to blog. Like a Haiku if ya will emoticon

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SCOTMAMA 9/19/2011 3:55PM

    If you were retired all the days would seem the same. Just check off each day as you live it, and like eating the right foods and getting your exercise, it's just another thing on the old checklist! Friday OMG will come when it comes! Make another day your "exciting" day. Do something exciting each and every Wednesday -- then you'll look forward to THAT day!

Like Pepipoi said, "me" time is important. Get some!

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RUNNINGAL425 9/19/2011 10:10AM

    Hey, there's an idea!! Let's make today Friday!

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THETURTLEBEAR 9/19/2011 9:32AM

    Ha ha - you have all week to get yourself in gear. WOO HOO!

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BAKER1009 9/19/2011 8:00AM

    Glad you're here!! emoticon

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HAPPYLOSER46 9/19/2011 3:24AM

    I agree with Pepipoi. Sounds like a "me" day is needed in a big way. Love your solar background! emoticon

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PEPIPOI 9/19/2011 12:40AM

    Sounds like you need to have some you time. It's important to have you time as I know from experience. I have to work at it or else my mental health will just tip over. Hope things are ok with you and you can always send me an email if you want to chat.

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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

It's been nuts around here!!

I think I may have stretched myself a weee bit too thin...too bad we can't do that literally.

Anyhows: The Ribfest was a slight dissapointment. We put in over $3000 for food and supplies ($2000 from our rent) and made back $1400. emoticon Was NOT the investment return we were hoping for. We did have a lot of repeat customers and many people were bringing back friends. The other vedors there also stated they were at a HUGE loss themselves. I don't know whether it was due to weather or people not spending, but there were maybe 1/3 of the attendance that was normally there. Hubby did get one catering job out of it and potentially 2 more...one from a lady I was able to use my beginning sign on! LOL

Needless to say, between that, school, the girls' school, dance, cheer, and everything else in between I am just mentally exhausted.

But, now that the fest is over and we are broke for about another 2 weeks to a month.....

I think I will focus on my challenges.

One: Six weeks of September. I want to apologize to my team for setting this up and then not being there! I hope they are all pushing play and kicking butt.

Two: BLC17: Just got myself set up and there is this Smore thing I have to do:
I'll have to check them off as I do them (nightly maybe?)

Sweat - 5 pts for each 15 minutes of cardio - 20 pt max
Munch your Freggies - 5 pts a day for 5 SERVINGS of FREGGIES, all or nothing.
Organize - set goals, make menus for the week, make a healthy shopping list, organize a cabinet in your kitchen, etc - get ready for the challenge - 5 pts 1 project per day
Rest - 5 pts for getting in 7 - 8 hours sleep
Exercise - Strength training - 1 body area per day (upper, lower, abs) alternate. 5 pts per each set of 15 reps 20 pt max

AND last but DEF not least PMP challenge:

1. By the end of Thursday, September 15, you are challenged to do 2 HOURS OF STRENGTH TRAINING OVER 4 DAYS. This can be broken down to two sets of 15 minutes per day, which ANYONE can make time for if they want to. Between Friday and Sunday night, clock AN ADDITIONAL HOUR. That's 20 minutes on Friday, 20 on Saturday and 20 on Sunday. THis is the minimum I expect you to spend on strength training if you are serious about changing your body and health.

No it will not be easy, THAT is why it is called a challenge. If I told you that you had until the end of the week to do 15 minutes total of free weights, it would be so ridiculously easy, that it wouldnt do much for your body.

You can do more than one muscle group OR you can concentrate on just one group for the entire two hours AS LONG AS YOU TAKE REST DAYS BETWEEN THOSE WORKOUTS SO YOUR BODY CAN HEAL AND GROW AND BE MORE EFFICIENT.

**no die hard stupidity please. It is best that you do not work out your arms for two hours tonight just to get it out of the way, esp if you have not been following an ST plan for an established amount of time yet**


You will need to look back on this next week. You will need to see how often you work each group. You will need to do this so you can learn to keep balance.

3. MUSCLE FAILURE CHALLENGE. Before Sunday, September 19th, pick !!ONE!! of the exercises from your starting line (pushups, situps, planks, squats, etc) and, instead of seeing how many reps you can do in one minute, I want you to (going SLOW and keeping proper form) see how many reps (or in the case of a plank, how many minutes:seconds) you can do before you reach muscle failure and have to stop. I am giving you until Sunday to do this so that it will not interfere with any of your ST sessions unless you want to count it as part of your 2 hour challenge.

4. Take this week to finish getting measurements or taking pictures if you need to!

5. BONUS! Take pictures of your sweaty workout afterglows, of your healthy beautiful food, or how you spend your rest day doing happy active things!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

My bestie and I are doing a couple of these challenges together and I think we are really gonna focus on our arms. I'm still trying for the ABs too but hubby (in his lovely tactless way) says that it will never work. He CLAIMS that women after giving birth never get their abs back but I've seen tooooo many women that DO. So, I'm a trying to prove him wrong!! LOL

Okay now. I'm going to go take a shower, go to English, do dinner, take youngest to cheer, middle to dance and then I will work out for me!!

OMG!!! a little sidenote. At the Ribfest I had to run to the bank to get change, As the bank was going to close at one I began to run. I remember thinking "gosh, this feels SOOO good! I MISS this!!!: and I ran all the way there and back (okay so it was only 3 blocks there and back, but still)

I guess what I am saying is that I really never ever ever ever ever ever ever (and another ever for good measure) thought I would ever ev.... ehem say that I missed running! Holy smacks! That was ME!! LOL

So, put finish C25 on that check list.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCOTMAMA 9/22/2011 2:57PM

    Now I understand the title of your blog. BLUR -- right on!

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RICKEFFEL 9/15/2011 11:26AM

    Wow, you ARE a blur!!! I don't see how you do it all!
Hope those caterings come through for you.

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BRATS4 9/14/2011 1:45PM

    sounds like a great plan.luck

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CHARL1ESMAMA 9/14/2011 12:56PM

    Wow! Good for you for challenging yourself and others!

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BAKER1009 9/14/2011 8:50AM

    So glad to see you blogging and planning out some AWESOME goals! You can so do this chicky!!

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CHOCOHOLIC2276 9/13/2011 10:55PM

    Wow you are one superwoman to take on all of these challenges!! emoticon

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HOPEFULHIPPO 9/13/2011 7:12PM

    well, that's one less thing then...next!

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A-STRONGER-ME 9/13/2011 7:00PM

    SMORE was over yesterday!!

Capt of the Warriors!!

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NELLIEC 9/13/2011 6:12PM

    For a moment I thought your blog was going to be about blurred vision. But I suspect you are claiming you move so fast that you are a blur!

Speaking of vision, I have had cataract operations and I am very pleased with the results! Wow!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 9/13/2011 2:04PM

    I don't think you have time/space for anthing else, you are a busy supermom/wife. Sorry about not making money on the RibFest, but you got catering jobs!

Best of luck on all your challenges, and glad you have a great group of people to do them with.

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THETURTLEBEAR 9/13/2011 1:55PM

    Wow - you are going to be one busy woman! Sorry to hear about the 'fest results, but hopefully those bookings will come through!

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Midnight blogs require coffee, don't you think?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

This week is a blurring by!

On my $62 Target menu (remember, I based off of what I had at home mainly) I came up with a Cheeseburger Quiche. Now, I LOVE quiche, but wasn't sure if my family would approve.

Ya know what? they DID!!!!

I even made a homemade crust, who knew I was even capable? (ok ok, I knew lol)

Let's see. I also made a ratatouille that was so freaking yumdelish!! Since then I've included the leftovers in my stew for tomorrow.

My folks are up from Texas this week. We went two hours south to some of my family and basically party on the lake. It was really a lot of fun! Now, I have some family members that would make even Jerry Springer blush, but I always love going to catch up on the gossip, meet the new babies, and reflect. My dad has 12 brothers and sisters so since I've accumulated well over 200 cousins and we are loud and big and ... well, we are like the Big Fat Greek Wedding only we're not Greek :o) At least, not that I've been notified as of yet.

I've gotten down my Hip Hop Abs and I'm pretty excited to be starting that. I want to do it WITH my new Slim in 6 series. I should be sweating up a storm here!! wowza! I'm going to try the HIp Hop Abs in the morning.

That's about it...It's about midnight and I still have to get up to take middle one to band, little one to tumblin and buy the oldest our text books. OH!! I forgot.


No. I mean it. I forgot. I was just gonna say something and it left my brain and fizzled right out the nose.

challenges, weight, food, ... I think I covered it...OH, maybe it was something about having another "daughter" out next summer and buying the youngest a planner to make it happen...maybe....I dunno but now I'm ramblin. I need to run, I need coffee, I need....

Clearly I need: emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANDI_3K 8/24/2011 11:53PM

    midnight requires caffeine only if you have to be up for awhile or are like me and it actually puts you to sleep.

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SCOTMAMA 8/21/2011 11:27AM

    You are a busy person -- I'm surprised with all that family that you had any energy left to blog with at midnite!

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NELLIEC 8/16/2011 6:11PM

    Definitely the sleep rather than coffee!

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KIM_POSSIBLE77 8/16/2011 3:53PM

    Girl these are all the reasons why I love you SO much!

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TEMPERANCE88 8/16/2011 2:53PM

    Great blog! The quiche looks delicious!

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CAMROLA 8/16/2011 11:58AM

    Brilliant! I followed at every step. And you're blog made me hungry.


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RICKEFFEL 8/16/2011 9:33AM

    Love ramblin blogs, cover a lot of territory! Hope you slept well and rarin' to go today!

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TWNOMWE 8/16/2011 8:28AM

    emoticon two cups of coffee will clear all the cob webs emoticon
Visits with family are great way to catch up and have fun as well.
Have great day, emoticon blog.

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POLK-A-DOTS 8/16/2011 7:21AM

    Super blog...covered a lot of ground! Especially for a midnight write! emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 8/16/2011 6:07AM

    Funny stuff...and yummy food!

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DTOWNSEND1966 8/16/2011 4:25AM

    Ramblin blogs are the best to read! Hope you slept well emoticon

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Suddenly last Summer

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Strange how life can change in an instant.

There we all were at our annual camping trip in LaPines, Oregon. The trip is relatively important, you see, for it entwines our families from Washington and California. In organizing such an event my husband and I usually take charge of the food portions. We purchase it, organize the menus and bring it all down. This year we purchased food for over 30 people for a week; a hefty bill to be paid back at the camp ground. Good thing as I used my rent money to purchase the foods...

Only the 2nd day in we had a death in the family and seven people left..without their payment. Hubby asked if we should ask them for payment and I said "no". and I still won't ask for it...we even donated another $150 for the funeral. Another couple also didn't pay and said they would send a check. It doesn't "bother" us really as we always have tended to put forth the foods. The point of the whole paragraph REALLY is that in doing so, I put MY intermediate family in a budget crunch for the next two weeks.

When we came back home my daughters and I had to figure out how to purchase groceries for two weeks. I sat down and crunched out a menu; looking online for attractive meals under $10. I also looked up recipes for venison. My husband hunts and I rarely use the meats in fear that I will spend the day cooking and we still order pizza that night....LOL (It's been done!!)

I am proud to say that I came up with 14 meals and shopped at Target. Between the items we still had at home and the menu in my hand I spent (are you ready?) $62 for two weeks. This did NOT include produce, but still...I couldn't help but to do the happy pee pee dance a little.

If that wasn't enough one of the creative meals was done last night...Venison marinated in sweet sauce covered in BACON!!

It was a little overdone, but all three of my girls ate it! (something that rarely seems to happen in this house) They admitted it was a little overdone, but that was okay as it tasted likey jerkey...I think that was a compliment. LOL


Oh, camping: I was worried about the menu as it did consist of hotdogs, burgers, spaghetti and such and I was ever thankful that Tom (hubby) went out of the way to buy me watermelon, cantalope, grapes, and other amounts of fruits as that's mainly what I ate. I tried doing my C25 run. I picked week 2 as that is my favorite playlist and I thought how easy it would be to do the six 90 increments...WRONG!! By increment number two I was gasping and panting and kept trying to push myself forward. I tried going AROUND the campsite roads so no one I knew would see me, but that didn't work....they looked for me and cheered me on. I guess they've never seen a fat lady run and found it encouraging and entertaining.


Truth be known, it was nice to see them cheering me on (I couldn't hear as the playlist was a buzzing away)

I'm pretty sure I couldn't do the increments because of the higher altitudes. I will work on that.

Looking at last years pics and this years...although I've lost 15 pounds I don't see any difference and neither did anyone else. That's okay though. Really. I carried my weight well until it all hit and I will until it all falls off. I know this.

This was last July (2010) I was hoping then to get INTO the 180s (196 lbs)

and this is me IN the 180s hoping for the 170s.

Hopefully I can lose more than 10 pounds this year. I DO have mutant ninja resistor fat cells though and they are EVIL little B@st*rds. I did come home to the scale at 180.2. Not bad.


I wasn't able to get back into the groove of exercising or Spark yet and I'll tell ya why. We began our life routine already. Sort of. First, we went to the funeral (my mom in law was who passed....well, step mom in law, but really)

Then even though the girls don't start school until end of August my Katie has band every single day 8 hours a day for the summer. OMG they are so dedicated!!! Then there's cheer four days a week for the youngest and dance for Kate a different four days a week. My oldest, Panda, and I are looking for school books as our financial aid was denied (booooo) and because that clearly isn't enough to do my husband is happily moving forward with our Humdinger BBQ business. We have an event for the 27th of this month, a ribfest on the 10th of next month and I am in charge of seeking a BBQ competition for us to enter in.

The event on the 27th is a Fundraiser for my daughter's band. I contacted the City of Lincoln to promote it and somehow ended up possibly getting our business a gig every Friday in the town of Rocklin......keep your fingers crossed on that one please as I think that would put hubby into an actual (dare I say it) happy mood for a minute.


Okay! For those of you in Slim in 6 (or not) we will be starting a new challenge on August 21st. That will be our Six weeks of September challenge. For those who don't have a Slim in 6 account, come on over...you just have to work out for 6 weeks is all. I just love the daily interactions... :o)


My oldest is pestering me to visit her in the living room, there are still dishes, my youngest wants a cell phone, there's cheer tonight and I'm creating a homemade hamburger quiche for tonight. The pool has to be cleaned and the garden re-tended to. I hope I can get in a small run just for relaxations' sake!!!!


OH!!! For those who haven't yet to see Katy Perry's new "Last Friday Night" video. It rocks. It freaking has Corey Feldman as her Dad, Debbie Gibson as her Mom and Kenny G as her Uncle. I love artist who appreciate the 80s.

Had to throw that in....go watch it...it's freaking awesome!! Oh, I'll help you. Here's the link. Watch it....I commad you!! (not really...I really wouldn't be that mean, but I hope you watch it) and watch it past the credits, freaking cute.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 8/31/2011 10:46AM

    Late to comment but yeah, baby, LOOK AT YOUR FACE!!! You look great!

Keeping my fingers crossed for your BBQ gig...

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SILVERWITCH59 8/15/2011 8:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIAJOEB 8/12/2011 2:28PM

    Wonderful spirit keep up the positive thinking. emoticon

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CAMROLA 8/12/2011 12:38PM

    What a difference! You ARE changing in so many ways. Take pride in that!

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RICKEFFEL 8/11/2011 9:04PM

    Great blog. My you are a busy girl! Good grocery shopper too! Love it. Hope the BBQ thing works out. Good to hear from you.

Exercising in higher altitudes is awesome! You can probably tell some improvements now, compared to before you left.

Comment edited on: 8/11/2011 9:07:40 PM

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THETURTLEBEAR 8/11/2011 6:49PM

    DEFINITELY a difference - in appearance and mindset. Hurray for you!

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LINDSAYB2217 8/11/2011 4:19PM

    this blog is funny!

What is hamburger quiche and why do I want some like right now?

Btw I can completely see weight loss between those two pix! look at your face it looks a lot thinner!

And how in the world do you spend so little on groceries for 5 people for 2 weeks for that price! I'm shocked and in awe!!

Way to go!!

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AANGEL3 8/11/2011 3:52PM

    I can see the difference! And even though I'm old..I love Katy Perry!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/11/2011 3:46PM

    Look at you doing C25K while on vacation... that is some dedication. I'm super impressed with your ability to go grocery shopping. You'll have ot let us know if there are any winners in yoru meals for under $10.

Fingers crossed for you guys on your BBQ stuff!

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HOPEFULHIPPO 8/11/2011 3:45PM

    LOL...ok ok. Cutie, you know I love it when you smack me around! LOL

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KIM_POSSIBLE77 8/11/2011 3:30PM

    I haven't finished reading...but HAD to stop and give you a "over the web lines" smack on the face!!! The differences are in the pictures! You can see it in your face, and I'm SURE if the big baggy jacket wasn't on we would see even MORE of a change! You are rocking it girl! (ok now I'm reading the rest)

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