Tuesday, September 24, 2013
I was reading my RLF blog. She inspired me to write this. James 1:3-4 says, “For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.”
Training: Well I should be great at something. I've been in training for what seems like forever.
Feeling my character maybe being questioned. Was I not more positive awhile back? Maybe a few years ago. Now I seem so negative. How do I turn this around?
I need the happy me back. I've been so blue for way too long. I can't get any traction in most things that I do or try to do. Its just one set back after another.
I had a Buddy, Julia, to ask for me to catch up on where I've been and what I've been up too. Well here it is:
Since May when we put out dog down, I've trying to fill my DS void. I've been gaming with him more than I did before. As of the last two months that has fallen away.
I was working every free minute on a scrap book for my In laws 50th anniversary. I didn't get it done because well the project was bigger than I was able to get done in the time I had. The first picture is around 1880 and goes to current. Not every picture they have mind you just the important ones. I've gotten Volume 1 done. Volume 2 is close. Haven't started Volume 3 yet. Maybe by 51st anniversary. I'd rather it be done great than ok. I have to have my DD done by May. She hopes to graduate then and I would like to use some of the pages for her senior table.
Which brings me to school. My DD would like to graduate in May. As homeschoolers, we can make that happen it just means not a lot of free time for either of us. More her than me. We schooled through out the summer with a bit of time off for good behavior because we deserved it. We took 5 days and went to the mountains with my Sister, Aunt and Uncle. We had a blast. For the most part it was a girls' week. Uncle did his own thing.
Because DD wants to graduate earlier than originally thought, DS had to take some summer classes too along with Tae Kwon Do twice a week. He often got invited to stay for a second class putting me at the church for 4 hours a week instead of 2. Classes ate roughly 15 hours a week. Someone else did the teaching. I got to do projects for her in trade for Chemistry Class. This lady would rather teach 3 teens Chemistry through the summer than do her own scrapbooks. She loves the idea of scrapbooks, just doesn't enjoy doing them. Still GREAT TRADE!!
Other than that, we made sure we were home to spend time with DH. He didn't really interact with us much all summer. He went through a job change. Got hired on within 3 days at a new company. For that company to be sold and new upper management to come in. The pay isn't the same. We are having to get into savings to cover the loss which is going to be gone by Christmas at this rate. He wants to try something new but will need training without the pay scale we need. I've got a resume together. I've been applying to places with no response. I'm thinking 3rd shift so I can get the kids where they have to be. DH can pick them up when he gets off unless he ends up with a traveling job.
On Monday on our way home from, idk, my DS informs me its my fault he won't make Eagle Scout. Every year for 7 years I've asked him if he wants to join scouts. I got, "No, Mom. Stop asking." Then this fall, its my fault. I almost pulled the car over to ....but I didn't. I did tell him to be in the car at 6pm. We went to our first Scout meeting.
We've picked up another house and an apartment to clean. My DD does the apartment on her own without supervision by me. She has even taken on doing washing. Jointly we are doing 2 houses and an apartment. 1 is weekly the others are bi weekly.
DD and I went to the County Fair. We got in free. I helped to park cars. While there, two things happened. First: She fell in love with a puppy and of course its my fault because I didn't say yes and bring him home. We have time for a puppy of all things. An adult would be easier. Did she call her dad to ask him? No. My fault her life is ruined. Second: They had a parade and Zomies in the best makeup and costumes walked by. She chased them down with my permission--What was I thinking???? I must have lost my mind!! Next thing I know we are now working a Haunted Wood Trail. That is eating like 10 hours a week up to now but going to eat 20 - 25 hours a week. Oh I got to make my first basket at the Fair. I like weaving. Who knew?! I also got to spend some time in a reenactment camp. Yep, I could do that in my free time. hahaha. ROFL!!
While I was in the mountains in May, my cousin sent some yarn with my Aunt to give to me. I'm working on making her a blanket to replace one Grandma made that got ruined in a car accident. I'm more than half finished with it. Still its on the list of to dos.
Church, Scouts, Tae Kwon Do, Nashville Zoo Teen and Docent, Homeschool, Haunted Woods Trail, Busy Bee's Cleaning Service, Scrap booking with deadlines, Crocheting, Running Errands, Keeping House.....Did I mention I need to add a job to this mix? Sleep is over rated right? Who needs it?
Speaking of sleep. I need it. Apparently, currently I need 9 hours to not be tired the next day. Yep, here it is 2am again and I still up. It was worth it to catch up with my Buddies that I think of so often. I hope and pray I don't hex myself, but I've been sleeping better as of late. Tends to be the way of things. Sleep well for a few weeks then don't sleep well at all if at all for a few weeks. I like to sleep, when I sleep well.
Julia, I thought of you while with some of my tree friends in the mountains. You also came to mind at the Haunted Wood Trail. I got some free time to just be while there. It was wonderful to be a mile in under the large branches. I'm making new tree friends there.
DD has found her kindred spirits at the Haunted Wood Trail. A bit about my DD. She is different in a positive way. She has her own style and she does NOT care what you think about it. In the mountains in May, she was the youngest person around as public school was still in session. She got a lot of looks with what surprised me--smiles of delight. She wears a either a fox tail or a coyote tail most of the time. It gets looks. Well at the Trail it gets you instant FAME. She is one of the popular kids!! She is eating it up. She added fake but good fangs Thursday night. Lots of these kids have colored contacts--I mean creepy colored contacts. They are contortionist. The way they move is...different. Yes, they can be "normal" but it isn't the real them. Some kids do sports others do haunted trails. Its all good. Its different in a good way. I finally found something she enjoys. Hooray!!
Ok now you are all caught up. Why am I being so negative? Live is actually going well right now, if you take money stress out of the equation.
Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.
- Thomas Carlyle -
Cleaning a house, finishing a project, ect. Yet I lack self-esteem and self-confidence when I do so much. Why???
Good Night All. Sleep Well.