Saturday, September 10, 2011
for supporting me last night. All the personal garbage came to a head yesterday and of course, first instinct, I wanted to eat. Man, when does that stop? Comfort in carbs... So I came out on the other side after, 2 lean cuisine french bread pizzas and a skinny cow ice cream sandwich. Not the best, but that's where it ended and I tracked it all. No M&M's, oreo's, or late night runs for "real pizza." I went to bed, got a pretty good nights sleep and was up to go the gym. This morning, I feel better mentally, but physically, I'm not doing so hot. I feel pretty gross right now, and thought I was going to vomit the whole time I was at the gym. I'm bummed that I turned to food, but in the last 15 months, I can honestly say I've only done that a handful of times. In the past, I stuffed ALL emotions down with food, and to be able to count on one hand how often that's happened since I began this journey, I'd say I'm doing ok. It's not healthy, I need better ways to deal with things, but I'm a lot better now then I was a year ago. Again, thank you all for your support, I really appreciate it.
Friday, September 09, 2011
I am really struggling with some personal issues right now and all I want to do is eat. I haven't eaten dinner simply because I know once I get started, there'll be no stopping me. It's a terrible feeling and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I'd go for a walk but it's raining. I already went to the Wegmans and Walmart trying to deal with it. I'm starving, but I just know it'll get ugly. And of course, an apple isn't going to satisfy me. This sucks!
Monday, September 05, 2011
This weekend I hit the 100 pounds lost mark!
100 pounds of fat!!!
To celebrate, my daughter, Katy, and I got pedicures. She was so excited and she looked so grown up. Of course, she giggled like crazy, while they were massaging her feet, and she just had to have 2 different colors on her toes. We had a great time and I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. Obviously, mine's the one with the tattoo!
I don't know what I expected to feel like when I lost 100lbs, but I do know it's been an emotional roller coaster. There was no music, no parade, I can't even tell you that I was "thrilled." The first thought that popped into my head was, "Ok, about 60 more to go." REALLY?!? How I can I NOT enjoy this? This is what I've been working on, for the last 15 months. Never, in my life, have I lost this much weight. Hell, I've never even lost half this much. I'm not sure if anyone else has had these feelings, and I'm not even sure why I feel this way. Why am I not screaming from the rooftops? Standing on the scale, I started crying, but they weren't joyful tears. I'm not sure what they're for... exhaustion, frustration, knowing I have another year or so to go? I'm not complaining, I've lost 100 pounds, and I have sparkfriends who need to lose that and more, I just don't know how I feel.
I know I've accomplished a lot in the last 15 months. I've lost 32.5% of my starting weight. I've lost 53.5 inches. My BMI has gone from 59.2 to 39.2. I've completed 14,168 fitness minutes, which is more than I've done in my entire adult life. I've had 8 or more glasses of water for 273 days straight, more fruits and veggies than I ever thought I'd want to eat, and I've developed a love for working out that I didn't think was possible. All of these numbers are great, but there's something about putting on those "fat pants" that really made it hit home.
These jeans used to fit, um... VERY well. They're 28's and now I'm in an 18.
I also had a HUGE surprise this weekend, besides my brother having a baby, YAY!!! At the picnic last night, I told my dad I hit the 100lbs, and he said "Time for a shopping spree." I laughed and enjoyed the rest of the picnic. While I was cooking breakfast this morning, dad showed up asking if I was ready to go shopping. Apparently he wasn't kidding. He wanted to buy me a bunch of clothes. Well, I didn't want to be rude, but I work in an office where the attire is jeans and T-shirts (love my bosses). When I'm not at work, I'm in workout clothes. With me losing weight, I have to get a few new shirts every couple months, but nothing like he was trying to buy me. I told him I needed other thing besides clothes and after purchasing 5 new shirts, he let me get a new hand mixer, a grill basket for veggies, a new GIANT skillet for all my stir-fry, and a new set of knives. He said if that's what I really wanted, it was my "shopping spree."
Then he took me to lunch at "Famous Dave's BBQ", where I don't even want to know about the calories, but the food was SOOOO good. Pulled pork, ribs, corn bread muffins, garlic mashed potatoes, and drunken apples... OMG, delicious!
On the way home we started talking about my weight loss, and it got pretty heavy and, again, emotional. My dad and I are VERY close, but no one in the family gets too mushy, so this was a bit of a moment for us. He's so proud of me and I'm so blessed to have family that is so supportive. Between my family and my "spark" family, it's not a surprise I've been so successful. I couldn't do this without them and all my sparkies, I love you guys! So here's to the next 60.... or so!
Just a reminder of why I'm doing this! First day of school!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
My friend SALLIE51, just put a new challenge out for herself and I think it's a great idea. She wrote a blog about her "20 week New Years challenge", and I LOVE it! It's 20 weeks until New Years day, what can YOU do by then? My goal is to weigh less than I did when I met my husband. That would mean I have to lose 30 lbs, that's 1.5lbs a week. I can do this, it's great motivation for me, thanks Sallie! Who's with me?
My starting weight will be posted after weigh in, and I'll keep updating here.
8/15 - 210.5 I've got 20 weeks to meet my goal!!!
8/22 - 209 ( - 1.5)
8/29 - 208 (-1 fell short this week, have to make that up!)
9/5 - 207 (-1, still behind)
9/12 - 205.5 (-1.5, still behind. I need a REALLY good week)
9/19 - 203 (-2.5)
9/26 - 207 (+4, CRAP! I may have to revamp these goals)
10/3 - 205 (-2)
10/ 17 -
January 1, 2012 -
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
So how did I do on my fitness test... I wouldn't know because I didn't get to do it! Our appointment was at 4pm, I was there, he wasn't. I looked in the trainers room, and he wasn't there either. The gym isn't very big. There was 1 girl in the cardio room and me and 3 guys in the ST room. Pretty sure I would have seen him. I keep my eyes on the only entrance to the gym, while I'm getting an extra workout in. At 4:30, I go to the desk and wait for the 1 employee who works there, and he looks at me and says "Isn't he in the other (ST) room?" No, I've been there for half an hour, he's not there. "Well, I just saw him at the desk." Really? Because I'm standing here, and I don't see him. "Are you sure he's not over there?" Really? So employee started calling him with no answer. He was looking at me like he didn't know what to say. So I told him that our appointment was at 4 and it's 4:35, I' need to leave. I'll have to reschedule (NOT). So I came home a little mad and a lot hurt. Why? I'm not sure, but eh, whatever! 20 minutes later trainer calls, I know it's him so I let the machine get it. He's calling asking to reschedule. Not an apology, not sorry I missed you, not even, my hair was on fire and I had to jump in the lake to save myself. Just left his number and available dates and times. Well, now I'M sorry jacko, that I won't be calling you back. A great end to the day!
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