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The heat and humidity didn't ruin my workout, it actually made it better

Sunday, August 07, 2011

I had planned to go to the gym this morning, but because of festivities last night, I failed to get there. NOT an excuse, the alarm went off, and I turned it off. Just giving you all the info. Well, because I got up late (7am) I decided to enjoy coffee with the hubby, a rare event, while the kids were still in bed, an extremely rare event. When coffee talk was over and the kids were up and motivated, I decided to go for a 2.5 mile walk. Just as I got my Ipod on, the skies opened up and it poured. Ok, so I'll do the treadmill. I don't love it, especially in the summer. I do it ALL winter, so I avoid it at all costs when it's nice out. And, no, I had no intention of going to the gym, people would be there at this time of day. 20 minutes later the rain stopped and I thought I could go for a walk after all... NOPE! So hot and humid I didn't even make it around the block without wheezing. This is NOT good weather for my asthma.

Downstairs to the treadmill I went. I didn't just want to walk, I thought maybe I'd try running a little. Then I thought, I have new shoes, maybe that wouldn't be a good idea, I haven't even broken them in yet. I have a treadmill that came with Jillian Michael's iFit program. I haven't done that in a while, lets give it a whirl. Some of you have been friends of mine since the beginning, and you may remember my first experience. If not, check out the blog.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public
_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3534603

This time it was a very different experience. It was a great workout, actually better that I remember. She was going a bit too slow for me, it only went to 3.2, but the incline was fine between 5 and 7. It's a 20 minute program, so I decided to do it twice. I really enjoyed it! I actually got a better workout in then if I went for a walk. I love walking, but I definitely would NOT have sweat like I did with Jillian. See what she did to me?!? I hope everyone has a great week!



40 minutes with Jillian Michaels!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOUTHPONDCAMP 8/11/2011 5:52PM

    hahaha...I do the same purple look like I"m in imminent danger of a heart attack thing. It lasts ages too. Good on you for doing the work out though. :)

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TIME4AMY 8/10/2011 10:17PM

    haha... love it!!!

Sweaty and all red in the face! AND in the comfort of your own home. I don't think I can get myself to get so sweaty and ugh at the gym in front of people...such a waste of money.

You get all hot and sweaty, you hot momma you! haha... emoticon

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ESHERRILL3 8/10/2011 8:00AM

    emoticon You look fabulous!

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LADYANDREA2012 8/9/2011 10:29PM

    Awesome, you inspire me!!! Way to go!!!

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CTUPTON 8/9/2011 1:00PM

    emoticon

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MOMOMMA622 8/9/2011 9:12AM

    Way to go!

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SCOUTMOM715 8/8/2011 10:25PM

    emoticon Looks like you had a great workout!! emoticon

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MICHELLESMILES_ 8/8/2011 5:09PM

    Love this!!! You are lookin good girl!!!

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TEMPEST272002 8/7/2011 7:23PM

    Love your sweaty workout pic! Look look healthy & glowing. Did you see my pic today? I did walk/run in the humidity & you can sure tell. lol

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SUSANS_TURN 8/7/2011 2:36PM

    emoticon You go girl! emoticon Amazing! emoticon

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THROOPER62 8/7/2011 2:32PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WONDERBUG381 8/7/2011 1:32PM

    emoticon You rock!


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JENNIFER_67 8/7/2011 1:32PM

    emoticon Now I'm off to the treadmill too.

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POOKASLUAGH 8/7/2011 1:14PM

    Great job!! :)

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MADTHENURSE 8/7/2011 12:55PM

    I am SOOOOOO proud of you!!!!!

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It was SO worth it!

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

So I went to the gym to tonight for a free training session. I didn't have very high hopes because the last time I went, the guy (different trainer) spoke with me for about 7 minutes, weighed me and said "I charge $75 a session, are you interested?" Never put me on a machine or showed me anything. When I got there, this new guy seemed very nervous shuffling papers and not really making eye contact, which I hate. I was nervous being there and his silence wasn't helping.

He took me out to the gym and there wasn't anyone there, thank God. I work out at 4am for a reason! He said "why don't you hop on the elliptical and we'll get started." I told him I was happy with my cardio and I was really interested in ST and learning what I needed to do. By me saying that, it was like I threw off his whole "routine." He looked at me and looked at the elliptical and looked at me, and said "you don't want to get on the elliptical?" I could see he didn't know where to go with my defiance, so I quickly explained my weight loss, and AGAIN, I enjoy my cardio routine I need to work on ST. "So you don't want to get on the elliptical?" UGH!!! SO glad I came... "NO!" I told him the areas I want to work on (bat wings, stomach, not sure about my legs) and we finally got started.

He handed my a pair of 5lb weights, psshhh, whatever! He said, "you seem to be Ok with that, they aren't too heavy?" Um, NO! I explained that this is not my first trip around the block, I just need to know that I'm doing it right, and that I'm using the correct weights and doing enough reps. So then it was like a light bulb went off (finally) and he wanted to see exactly what I could do.

He handed me 15lb weights and we started doing bench presses, tricep kickbacks, rows, curls, etc., you can check out my "shared exercise log" to see exactly what we did. I used the cable cross machine, as well as a few others. Then we talked about how I wasn't sure about wanting to do anything else with my legs. The only exercise I do is bike, elliptical and walk. That's ALL leg work, and I'm not sure I want to do "extra" leg work. He said for me to tone my legs and not "bulk up" I should be doing squats, not machines. Cool, I do squats at Zumba, no problem. Well, apparently I've been doing them WAY wrong. He watched me do 2 and said, "put your weight on your heels, not the balls of your feet." HOLY CRAP, what a difference. I felt it immediately!

So at the end of the session, while I was wiping the sweat out of my eyes (nope, don't sweat that much while doing my own ST) we talked about his fee, and he can see me 3 times a week, he's here to motivate and keep me on track, blah, blah, blah. If I wasn't motivated, I wouldn't have gotten this far on my own, thanks! Then he asked what my fitness score was, which was the disaster I had with the first trainer. I quickly explained that fiasco, and he scheduled me for "another" fitness test next week, if I can walk. I'm telling you, those squats killed me!

So, what have I learned? I should be doing more free weights instead of machines. I can up the weight as I get more comfortable, but do more reps to burn more fat. If you do the exercises the correct way, it WILL hurt, lol!

I can't afford to meet with him 3 times a week, or even once a week. But when I go for the fitness test next week, I'm going to find out if I can meet with him once or twice a month, like a check in of sorts. To make sure I'm on target and change things up if I need to. If that's not something he's willing to do, that's fine I've already written down all the exercises, so I can do it ALL on my own.

I have to say this was a much better experience with a trainer. It started off a little rocky, but it was well worth the time. I'll let you know next week what my fitness level is and whether or not I'll have a trainer! Cross your fingers that my legs are no longer in a jello-like state so I can actually DO the fitness test! On to bigger and better things sparkfriends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SALEMGRL 8/7/2011 8:51AM

    Good it got better after he actually realized what you wanted from him! He can be a big help, and it sounds like he knows what can work for your body.

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SUSANS_TURN 8/5/2011 8:20PM

    Yes! Sounds incredible Holly! So happy that you are pursuing alternatives so that you can meet with him! It sounds like he could really help you get to where you want to be and kudos to you for going through with it, even after a first time bad experience!
emoticon emoticon

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SHEILARENEANEAL 8/3/2011 9:53PM

    Awesome !!! This was very informative for me. I had my free session - I showed - he did not. I never re-scheduled. Good to hear your input. I think I shall try the Medicine Ball Squats now. Thanks & keep up the good work. IT DOES PAY OFF!! positive.........
emoticon

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GOOFIERNU 8/3/2011 10:12AM

    Good for you for speaking up and telling him what YOU needed. And so glad he finally listened. Good luck on the next go-round!!!

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TEMPEST272002 8/3/2011 9:40AM

    Good for you for insisting that he work to your actual needs, not some routine he's devised for all the ladies. You are a kick-butt kind of girl & I'm glad he finally understood that & was able to give you the feedback you needed.

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WIGIME 8/3/2011 7:20AM

    I'm glad you stuck with your guns and didn't go with the flow. Good for you! As you said, you definitely have something to take away from this session.

Good luck next week my friend!

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RITZIBROWN 8/3/2011 6:14AM

    You definitely made the best of what could have been negative situations & learned a few lessons. emoticon

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-POOKIE- 8/3/2011 4:30AM

    Glad things seemed better!

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HOTRODSANDY 8/2/2011 11:11PM

    Glad he had the light bulb go off and the session ended up on a good note!

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LEAFSGRL 8/2/2011 10:51PM

    Happy to hear that this time went better for you. :)

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KIKI0531 8/2/2011 10:39PM

    I still have to work up the courage to go into the gym to even discuss a trainer. I dont know why I feel as if I walk in there - sirens and bells will go off and a booming voice will bellow "NON-ATHLETE ENTERING .. NON-ATHLETE ENTERING"

Gotta go .. gotta go. Hubster has been tellin me I should for a month now !! I wont tell him, I am a big fraidy cat !!

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ROCHELLE62 8/2/2011 10:17PM

    when you are paying him, you are the boss. great jog explaining to him what you have hired him for.

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LITTLEKIM4 8/2/2011 10:15PM

    I'm glad to hear you got some beneficial information out of your meeting this time! I'm sure you'll put it to good use!

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SCOUTMOM715 8/2/2011 9:57PM

    Happy to hear things went better this time around. I need to ST the same areas as you. I do my own at home too, but i'm sure it's not enough, because I never break a sweat either. I'll have to check out your exercise log. emoticon
You are doing awesome!! Good luck on the fitness test!!

Comment edited on: 8/2/2011 10:04:07 PM

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FITKITTYMAMA 8/2/2011 9:53PM

    Glad your training session went well... and that you took control and let him know what you needed him for!

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MOMOMMA622 8/2/2011 9:45PM

    way to go girl! I think when my baby starts kindergarten next September I am joining a gym.

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JADE465 8/2/2011 9:33PM

    Good luck during the fitness test. I hope you can get exactly what you want with the trainer, once a month or twice. That would be fantastic. Good luck with that!

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MOONBIRD 8/2/2011 9:07PM

    Wow! I think you are doing awesome! I also want to get stronger arms and stuff, and never know if I am doing the correct things, but can't afford a trainer, so I try to do the machines, but I never know what else is good. I bet you'll do awesome on your test!

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AMYSRUN4LIFE 8/2/2011 8:59PM

    I was getting a little frustrated for you at first...lol glad he finally "got it". Happy to hear it was better than the last time.

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JENNIFER_67 8/2/2011 8:46PM

    Glad things went better this time. My experience with trainers has been hit and miss - some are great, others are just completely off the mark. The key is to know what you want and need, and be clear about asking for it. And you seem to have a great handle on that. emoticon

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WONDERBUG381 8/2/2011 8:42PM

    I am so glad this went well for you and you learned a few things.
emoticon

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HOLLYBELLE77 8/2/2011 8:38PM

    Glad things went a little better this time! I can't afford a gym at all right now, so it's hard to know the most effective things to do at home. I'm stalling out on videos.

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A weekend with amusement parks, Santa, a carnival, a redneck water slide and overcoming obstacles.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

We had a crazy, busy, awesome weekend! Friday, we went to Idlewild Park in Ligonier, Pa. It is, in my opinion, one of the best amusement parks for kids anywhere. It's not too big, it's pretty shaded, and most of the rides are completely kid friendly. It may not be Cedar Point caliber as far as rides, but it's VERY family friendly. I was so worried that the weather was going to ruin our fun, but the storm managed to stay away until we were actually done for the day. Mike and I talked about "this being the last ride, getting souvenirs and snacks, and we'll head out" just as the skies opened up and we got dumped on. SO lucky! It was, however, about 90 degrees with very little breeze, and we sweat just standing still. But, we didn't get rained on!



Not only did we get to visit the park, but we were very lucky that Santa was also on vacation and he was there at the park this week. So while we were visiting Storybook Forest, which is a walk through the woods that has a lot of your favorite storybook creatures scattered throughout, Raggedy Ann and Andy, The three Little Pigs, Goldilocks, etc., we got to stop at a workshop that Santa set up while he was visiting. The kids thought that it was awesome that Santa was on vaca, and came to Idlewild.



After Storybook Forest, we went to another part of the park that's filled with rope brides, and slides. The rope climb was HUGE, and I didn't think Jake was going to go, he's not very adventurous, but he jumped up there and started climbing. I was nervous about it that I sent hubby up with them. They had such a great time. I really wanted to go, but was scared I wouldn't make it to the top. It was really big, and the very end is almost straight up, at least it looks that way from the ground.

**OK, I tried to download 3 different pics of the rope thing, but apparently they're all "too big" for SP to download. Sorry no pic : (

We also got to see an "Extreme Circus" that had planted itself there for the week. I was excited to see the "Extreme Circus" and was surprised it only consisted of 4 acts. The first "extreme" act was a woman with "5 four legged, animals, doing things you've never seen" which turned into a lady with 5 poodles jumping through hoops and barrels, hmmmm... the second "death defying act" was a woman swinging herself around on a rope, meh... The third act was actually pretty cool with 2 VERY bendy woman doing contortionist type things and squeezing themselves into a super tiny box together. Katy thought that was "the coolest thing ever!" And the final "extreme act" was a trio of tight rope walkers, again, fun to watch, but not exactly "extreme." I think they need to work on marketing!

We went through the rest of the "kids park" and visited Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, Raccoon Lagoon, and finally ended up in the "adult" area of the park where hubby and I actually got to ride with the kids, lol! We had an awesome time and I recommend it to anyone in the area. They also have a water park, which we have not visited. You can check everything out at

idlewild.com

Now, I know you all want to know about the redneck water slide. Or at least that's what my BiL calls it. My husband's family lives down in Clymer, Pa a little town in the backwoods, which is about a hour from Idlewild, so we decided to make a weekend of it, and spend time with Mike's family. The closest thing to the town, is IUP ( Indiana Univ. of Pa) which is where I went to college and met Mike. They told us that when we came down, we should bring the kids suits because they have a slip and slide, SWEET! That's great, we'll go over on Saturday, after spending all day at the park on Friday, the kids will enjoy some down time. When we got there, I was expecting the see a bright yellow "slip and slide" and instead we saw...



HOLY CRAP!!!! I've never seen anything like it. Black plastic sheeting with a hose laying on it. A far cry from the yellow slip and slide that we're used to. All I could do was laugh. The kids had a blast!!! For 2 hrs I watched them hurl themselves down the hill, going even faster when the used a pool ring. Then hubby joined in.





Then I decided that *I* HAD to do this. For once, I didn't care that there were other people there, that I looked bad in shorts, or that I had to eventually hoist myself off the ground. I wanted to have that kind of fun. I asked my SiL if I could borrow a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, which made her want to do it too.


My SiL Julie (in blue, who has lost 25lbs, WOOT! and me in the purple) watching and waiting...

After finally getting the courage, I threw myself down the hill and had a blast!!!



I did it 3 more times after that, never face first though, lol!

So we had a fantastic weekend, and as I mentioned in the title I overcame some barriers for myself...

The first, being a HUGE issue for me, wearing a sleeveless shirt and shorts in public. I know how hot it would be at the park on Friday so I bought shorts (which haven't been on these legs in 11 yrs) and a sleeveless shirt (which has NEVER happened) and wore them to the park... where people could see me... and judge me... However, I didn't die of embarrassment, and was uber thankful I was wearing them when the temps hit the boiling point.

The second was that goofy water slide. I had to, again, wear (even shorter) shorts in public, and put myself into a situation that would have totally been out of the question a year ago. There would have been NO WAY I would have done this a year ago. Because that meant... shorts, wet clingy clothes, trying to get up off the ground gracefully, and in my mind, general embarrassment all around.

When all was said and done at the park and with that slide, I was actually pretty proud of myself and not embarrassed by any it. I guess you have to take growth in whatever form it comes. Even if it is a "redneck water slide!!!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADTHENURSE 8/7/2011 1:32PM

    This is late, cause I'm catching up from vacation, but WOW!!!!! Sleeveless @ Idlewild - YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

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LITTLEKIM4 8/5/2011 3:48PM

    You look so darn happy in that pic of you going down the slide. I'm so happy for you that you conquered your fears and sense of shame regarding wearing shorts, a sleeveless top, etc. You're going to be so much more comfortable, being able to wear clothing more suited to summer!

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MOONBIRD 8/2/2011 9:09PM

    I am so happy reading this! It sounds like you had such a wonderful time, and I am glad you got to participate, and wear some shorts too! Way to go!!

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VLYNNKED 8/1/2011 9:05PM

  Holly,

That slide looks fabulous! And you look like you really enjoyed it. How fun:) Have you heard of the natural water slide at Ohiopyle State Park (somewhere in Western PA)? There is a channel formed from smoothed out rock and the creek rushes through it. You can check it out on YouTube. I am hoping to increase my fitness level by next summer and venture out there. You are an inspiration. Keep up the good work!

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MOMOMMA622 8/1/2011 9:06AM

    You are awesome! My aunt dee had a water slide like that in her back yard. I went head first a bunch of times and the next dayu I couldnt walk from the impact of my body off the ground. You look great!

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-POOKIE- 8/1/2011 6:48AM

    OMG I want on that slide NOW!!!!

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ANGELEYES67J 8/1/2011 5:42AM

    Looks like you guys had a blast. I agree with the other poster that your face tells what joy you was having. Thanks for sharing the pics.

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TIME4AMY 7/31/2011 11:45PM

    Isn't "living" wonderful. No more watching on the side lines! Live it up baby! Sooooo glad you had a blast. Memories to last forever...

P.S. sexy legs! (whistles) emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 7/31/2011 11:11PM

    emoticon Yeah for having fun! We're really so much more critical of our bodies than any one else would ever be. You've worked so hard to get where you are now. Glad you're enjoying it!

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MCJEN2010 7/31/2011 11:11PM

    Sounds like you had a great time, Holly! Congrats on the accomplishments of conquering the shorts and sleeveless shirt. I am working toward a sleeveless shirt goal, as well. Hope you are doing well and gearing up for a successful week!

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WONDERBUG381 7/31/2011 11:04PM

    Looks like everyone had a blast. Love your face on the red neck water slide. pure joy. makes ya feel like a kid again when you can have fun and not worry about what others think. Way to go!

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BRENDABUNNY 7/31/2011 10:40PM

    Wow Holly looks like you had a blast emoticonon acting like a kid again..I love it..and the homemade slip n slide I remember when I was a kid my dad made us one outta the same thing and we had so many hours of fun..this brought back great memories emoticonfor sharing with all of us..big emoticon emoticonBrenda

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LETTINGGO85 7/31/2011 9:17PM

    Sounds like a great time. Love the homemade water slide. Great that you joined into the fun! We can't wait until we are at our "ideal" weight to enjoy our lives!

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KIKI0531 7/31/2011 8:55PM

    Does sound like a good time was had by all !! I am heading off to Idlewild next Friday. I live about an hour away from there towards Pittsburgh. Hope I have as good a time as you. I know my 3 yr old is going to have the time of her life !! I just might have to go get myself a cute sleeveless shirt ... lol emoticon

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HOLLYBELLE77 7/31/2011 8:44PM

    Redneck or not, that water slide looks FUN!! :) Sounds like a great weekend!

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AMYSRUN4LIFE 7/31/2011 8:42PM

    Love the pics! Happy to see/read that you had such a great time. Lovin the waterslide too! It is a great feeling when your not so worried about other and what they think. I've gone to Kings Island now twice wearing my bathing suit top. Lol. And I was so happy I did too, so hot! You look wonderful! Hands up goin down the slide...priceless!

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SCOUTMOM715 7/31/2011 8:29PM

    So glad the weather held out for you at idlewild and oh, I love the redneck waterslide, you all look like you had such an awesome time, the smile on your face is priceless!! emoticon emoticon

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 7/31/2011 8:12PM

    Sounds like you had a great time and the look of utter glee on your face is warm fuzzy inducing!

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Not a great night... mentally.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday nights are my weigh ins for my TOPS group. So every Monday night, after our meeting, I get to eat whatever I want without regard to nutritional value or calories. Tonight I decided I was going to Taco Bell. Then I changed my mind when I realized I have to go farther into town to get it, and I drive right past a McDonald's... so, chicken mcnuggets, here I come! I haven't had either in so long, it didn't matter, I was going to eat something greasy! Before I left for the meeting, hubby asked, if on the way home, I would stop at the store and get a couple of things. Sure, no problem, except he wanted double stuffed oreos and columbian coffee ice cream... ok... I've purchased these things before, but it's usually when I have a cart FULL of groceries, and no one is paying attention to the fatty buying ice cream and cookies. So, I decided that to distract from the junk, I would buy a melon baller. I know, weird, but I need one, and I thought MAYBE the checkout kid wouldn't notice the cookies and ice cream. WHY I thought he even cared, is beyond me. I almost felt compelled to explain that those were for my husband, not me. So after feeling horrible and super fat for buying that crap for my husband, I went to buy MY crap at McD's, mmmmm, something's wrong with THAT statement!

So I wasn't feeling so great about myself after the grocery store trip, only to go to McD's and have the punk a$$ 16 year old drive thru kid laughing at me for my food choice. Is that true? Probably not, but that's how I saw things tonight. Not only was the kid who took my order laughing at me, but so was the pimple faced kid who gave me my food. I'm sure the two where in cahoots! So I got my food, and drove away. I pulled out of the parking lot, stuck my hand in the bag to have a fry, or two (seriously, who DOESN'T do that) only to discover that dumb and dumber forgot them. OK, really!?! The way I was feeling about the whole thing, I should have driven away and forgotten it, however, being that this is the only night I eat "planned crap," I couldn't forget them. I turned around, the drive thru was packed so now I had to go inside with my fatness and beg for the fries that THEY forgot. Of course I stood there while 2 different employees walked right past me. Finally a manager came over, giggling, (dumb and dumber must have told her they purposefully forgot my fries so I'd have to come in) and asked to help me. I told her the 2 geniuses in the drive thru forgot my fries, she looked at one of them and giggled even louder. Again, REALLY?!?

For all I know they could have been totally high. I just felt really bad during the whole ordeal. Maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't be getting that garbage anyhow. Maybe it's just my psychoses, but I've never felt this way before about buying food. It was a really bad feeling, and I really don't want to feel like that anytime soon. To top it off, the fries were lukewarm and the nuggets weren't as good as I remember them. Maybe it is a sign...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNIFER_67 7/24/2011 8:57PM

    I'm sure that whatever was going on at McD's had nothing to do with you. (But I can relate completely to what you were feeling.) Hope you are feeling better.

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KIKI0531 7/22/2011 4:33PM

    LOVED the blog. We went to Taco Bell last week and I paid careful attention by going online and checking out the nutritional info to determine what would be the least detrimental to my hips ... lol Then when we got home they screwed up our order (BIG SURPRISE) - I was to ticked off. Then I was sitting there cranky and eating what they did get right and had to laugh at myself thinking - its fast food - none of its really good for me - what the hell was I so mad about !! Truth of the matter was, I probably shouldnt have been eating it in the first place. Maybe it was a divine taco intervention ... lol

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DOLLIE6 7/21/2011 7:03PM

    I agree with you I think it is a sign to not even bother with that kind of food. Why not go to the grocery store and get you something healthy and make your own treat. That's what I have started doing, hunting for raw candy recipes that I can use honey, ice cream that i make with chocolate almond milk, frozen bananas or whatever kind of fruit I want and even put chocolate syrup on it, made with cocoa, honey and a little milk. There is a lot of stuff on Spark at the raw desserts place that is real good and a treat every once in a while.
I think we all reach that point that we stop go to the fast food places except in an emergency. I try to take something with me if I am going to be out pass my meal time.
I hate it you felt bad about yourself. It will get better the better choices you make. You will have that pride in yourself with a choice well made.

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TEMPEST272002 7/21/2011 4:38PM

    I totally related to feeling like people are laughing at me for eating junk food. I used to go through the drive-through alone & order two drinks... so they would think I was picking up for myself & another person. It's kind of heart-breaking really. We can be so incredibly harsh on ourselves when we've done nothing to deserve it.

I'm lending you Inner Cheerleader to argue with your inner critic: emoticon You are ENTITLED to eat whatever crap you choose, whenever & in what ever quantities you choose. It is NOT a heinous crime. It's just a food choice. In fact, knowing you can indulge after your weekly weighin helps keep you on track the other 95% of the time... so it could even be considered a good choice. emoticon

As to whether it's a sign, it could be. I've realized over the last couple of months that I don't actually like a lot of the junk food I used to. Craved bacon for months & after I had it, realized I didn't like it and gave it to a very happy Dog.

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LITTLEKIM4 7/21/2011 3:23PM

    I think everyone else has done a really nice job of giving you a pep talk, so I'll refrain, as I would just be repeating what everyone else said. However, I did want to say I think it is really AWESOME that you didn't even like the fast food as much as you thought it would! I bet you're getting so used to eating healthy, that now the "garbage" doesn't even taste as good anymore! I've noticed that happening to myself, to some degree. You have come so far and accomplished so much! You are an inspiration to me!

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ADALAI 7/20/2011 9:55AM

    I just wanted you to know.

I adore you. And you are so seeing yourself as bigger then you really are. -And- I think that the others are right, sometimes our own 'guilt' manifests itself in seeing folks reactions and actions towards us a bit off then what it is. Perception and the what not!

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 7/20/2011 9:46AM

    Sounds like it might have been your own guilt making you think the check-out guy at the grocery store and the kids at McD's were making fun of you. I bet they weren't, they were probably laughing at something completely unrelated to you, but when we're heavy, we are always sure the laughter in the room is directed at us and our size.
You're doing so well--don't let them get to you. Someday you will go into McD's and the grocery store and be able to be proud of how you look no matter what you are buying--that day is coming very soon I think--judging by the progress you are making! KEEP IT UP!

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CHANGING4ME49 7/20/2011 9:37AM

    emoticon for telling it like it is. Great blog! Loved it! It made me chuckle as I, too have been in both situations before. I also feel at times people are staring at me, talking about me or laughing behind my back but in truth most people are way too concerned with their own lives to have any concern for me. And that is the way it should be. Of course there are the few exceptionally rude individuals out there and like dumb and dumber, they have no clue how to treat ANYONE with respect.

I'm sorry you had to go through this. Perhaps it is a lesson or a sign. Only you can determine that. You are doing an amazing job so far. Keep it up and try not to worry about what others think of you. YOUR THOUGHTS are the only ones that truly matter! emoticon

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MOMOMMA622 7/19/2011 8:03PM

    I work at a restaurant. They were probably high or caught in the middle of some silly dumb work drama. Also you are seeing yourself as bigger than you are. You still have a way to go but you are way smaller than you were and you still see the old you.

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BRENDABUNNY 7/19/2011 3:26PM

    Holly,
I'll tell you even at my weight if that had happened I would have went right back in like you did and when they were in the middle of there retardness I woulda flat out said "whats funny" (and stared at them while asking) then i'de be calling the manager that's on shift this morning and raising hell(excuse my french)but you and no one else deserves to be treated like that..I'm sorry that happened to you...you look wonderful/beautiful you have came a long way.
P.S. A similar thing happened last year at starbucks with my daughter & I (who is not overweight)we had gotten our frappes and were leaving and two snobby girls who(thought they were all that)actually laughed and pointed at me as we were walking past them with our drinks)needless to say I didn't need to say anything..my daughter stopped at there table and said do u have a problem with my mom? and they snickered something at her and she said if you have something to say say it but they wouldn't..she looked at them both and said my mom is the most beautiful woman in the world i'm sorry you will NEVER get the chance to know her,and just some advice next time you want to be rude to someone who doesn't look like you keep it to yourself...no one else cares...I stood there proud with tears wailing up in my eyes hearing my beautiful 24 yr old daughter that I obviously raised respectful put those 2 girls in there place..sorry this was so long but I had to share.. emoticon emoticonBrenda

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HOLLIEWALLY 7/19/2011 9:04AM

    I am terribly sorry! They were probably just being jerks. I doubt it had anything to do with you in particular because you look fantastic! I hope you have a better day today.

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POOKASLUAGH 7/19/2011 7:49AM

    I hate that feeling that people are looking at you and judging you!! Whether or not it's true doesn't matter, just the fact that you feel it is bad enough. :( I'm sorry you had to go through that.

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WIGIME 7/19/2011 7:35AM

    If you only had 2 things in your order and THEY messed up, what does that say about them? I'd report their butt!

I understand you felt guilty, and the food didn't taste as good as you remembered, but perhaps you are right and it WAS a sign that you should pay attention to.

No matter what, you are a GOOD person. Please don't let this get you down!

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-POOKIE- 7/19/2011 6:43AM

    *hugs* Im sorry you had such a time, I know how it feels to think that the world is staring, and laughing and pointing....

Im sorry you feel bad xx

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MICHELLESMILES_ 7/19/2011 6:30AM

    Hugs!


I always feel like people are laughing at me too. We've had got to quit thinking like this! You have lost soooo much weight! You need to hold your head up high and walk proud because there are many people who do not have the determination and willpower like you do. Please do not let these punk kids get you down.

I have had cravings for things. My fav is taco bell. The last time I had it, I had it sooo talked up, that I was completely disappointed. LOL.

Hope you have a wonferful day friend!


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SUSANS_TURN 7/19/2011 6:13AM

    I just did the same thing with having to have my McD's fries last week and was so ticked when they were only mildly warm and barely any salt! I was even more mad when I proceeded to eat them all anyway! *sigh* I took it as a sign. It looks like we're getting the same sign. I sincerely that I won't ever have McD's fries but I know it won't be worth it to me for a very long time!! As for the goobers working there, I'm quite sure it had nothing to do with you and had everything to do with something absolutely stupid going on behind the scenes that one of them did or said.

By the way, I love the melon baller idea! I've always wanted to get one but just never think of it in the store! hmmm

I really hope things go better today hon! Hang in there!
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LOSING4RLC 7/18/2011 11:38PM

    You know you are making lifestyle changes when the things you used to be able to find comfort in (food) doesn't do it for you.....

Now you just have to figure out what does make you feel good. You'll figure it out, and we are all here for you in the mean time.

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RECOMMIT2ME 7/18/2011 11:24PM

    Girl, I have totally been there. I can't even eat in the car when I'm pulled up next to someone else because I feel like they're watching me and thinking, "no wonder she's fat." I also have come to love the self checkout lanes in the grocery store because of my frequent binges these days...no cashier to judge me! It's all in our heads though. The people in the other cars, the cashiers, and the McD's employees don't care one bit what we're eating. You're doing AWESOME and every now and then you need to indulge a bit. It's too bad that it wasn't as tasty as you remember...that always makes me a bit crabby too when I've built up the expectation so high just to be let down. I hope tomorrow is a better day!

Comment edited on: 7/18/2011 11:25:33 PM

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WONDERBUG381 7/18/2011 11:17PM

    Sorry you are feeling so down. emoticon
I hate when a treat turns into a guilt fest & you don't really enjoy it, but tomorrow is another day and you are headed in the right direction and doing so well. Keep it up
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TIME4AMY 7/18/2011 11:08PM

    FIRST OFF!!!!!!!! Enough with the "Fatty" and "fatness"! I walk my fatness all round town feeling a HELL of alot better than then when I had all the more fatness to walk round town! haha... emoticon

I know this is a place to vent and I'm certainly not minimizing your feelings, but I love you, your my friend, and I can tell you that! AND now I'M OFFENED! So whutcha sayin' there little missy (who is pounds lighter than me) ?! Ya callin' me a fatty?! haha... emoticon emoticon

I get it Hol'. Even after all this weight loss, I'm still fat! It never sits well, even if you have those days where you look "better" than before. The only thing that can change besides our waste size, is our thinking process. Usually that is a heck of a lot harder to change. I'm a pretty self conscious person, even though I come across pretty put together, social, and personable. Still have a lot of work to do mentally to be sure to find the happiness within myself that is sooooo much more important than the size I am or the way I look. To me, even though I am working this weight loss thing, it's more important to me, because without it...I'm not living!

Maybe it was the person you have become, fighting with the person who you are slowly letting go of. As much as you wanted and felt you deserved McD's, you now know that is nothing but a tasty craving that really has no nutritional value. Sure you may conquer the craving when you delve into that bag for a couple hot fries, ( I ask the kids for one from each of them, when they go...haha) but each time we've done this... we don't feel good at all, do we?! Thankfully, I hate McD's and such. It always makes me feel sick to my stomach! I have lots of others that I love, though...haha. I just wrote to you about my craving for PaPa Ginos pizza and as good as it tasted, I felt like Sh*t (emotionally).

You gotta find something to treat yourself that is delicious, under our restrictions category, AND feels good after you eat it! No more guilt! It eats away at US!!!! Not a good thing!

(Hint: ...from my long lost teenage years as Shift Manager at McD's...Next time ask for NO SALT! You'll get fresh hot ones, but may have to wait a bit longer. Just carry salt packets in the car.)

Oh ...and those employees at McD's don't have much education under their belt...hence the forgetting what they are selling in your bag...haha. I'm betting it was totally in your head, because your head was already feeling bad for going to eat there. They are so darn bored, working at such an establishment that they will find anything to laugh and smile about. They just don't have the professional development to know that you present yourself in such a manner, leaving all jokes aside. Dumb & Dumber!

Hol',
You are a beautiful woman! A smile that could brighten anyone's day. The cutest hair cut that puts that spunk in your style. Baby blues that must have stolen your man's heart. Curves to show the world that you are a REAL woman!! But, most of all, no one who sees you on the outside can possibly know how truly beautiful you are deep within. I love you Hol', my far away friend. emoticon



Comment edited on: 7/18/2011 11:11:41 PM

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 7/18/2011 9:58PM

    I'm sorry it was such a bad experience. Unfortunately those things always end up being a bigger disappointment taste wise than you build them up to be. It'd be different if they looked like they are advertised but they are right out of the movie Falling Down. If you haven't seen it (Michael Douglas), rent it and pretend those kids are in the Whammy Burger.

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REDHEADMOM2U 7/18/2011 9:40PM

    It's not a sign...or maybe a sign to call corporate. Use whatever they give you as a gift for someone else.

I'm having a rough night too...you aren't alone! We can get through it together



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HOTRODSANDY 7/18/2011 9:33PM

    I have so felt that way! It is an absolutely horrible feeling. Hope you feel better soon!

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LETTINGGO85 7/18/2011 9:19PM

    Ugghh - sorry you had to experience that. I have had the same feeling at time, like I wonder if the fastfood kid thinks "why is this fat chick getting a milk shake" And then I think that I am being completely paranoid and they could care less about what I am eating. They were probably laughing because they were pulling a scam to see how many people's orders they could mess up and not have anyone say anything.

Also I completely know how you feel about letting yourself have a "bad" treat and being disappointed that it ends up being not so tasty. I went out to eat with my BF last week and after eating a healthy meal ordered a brownie sundae and afterwards I was so annoyed it was huge, I felt ill, blew my calories for the day and it didn't even taste that good. I think sometimes you have to have those moments to remind yourself that the "unhealthy" food doesn't always taste as good as we remember it did.

You are doing great! Don't let it get you down.

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Hang in there friends!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I haven't written a blog in a while but I've been reading a lot of them. Most of them seem to have a central theme... I'm stuck, I keep losing and gaining the same 5lbs, I'm working out more, and not losing an ounce... any of these sound familiar? It's usually followed by... I don't want to give up but I don't know what to do, I'm so tired of doing this without results, why is this getting so hard?... Hell yes this is hard! If it were easy, everyone would be thin, right? I "stopped" losing weight in January, and up until May, I kept gaining and losing the same 5lbs (where have I heard that?) And since May, my weight loss has been spotty at best. To be honest, I've become terrified of getting on the scale. This from someone who would weigh every day. I've been binging almost once a week, and I'm sick over it.

I know what to do and how to do it, but sometimes, I'm SO sick of doing it! I get that it's a new lifestyle that I'm learning, but weighing and measuring food, counting calories in vs out, and monitoring carbs, fats and protein can take its toll. Don't tell me that there hasn't been a time when you have just wanted to eat until you can't feel your face.

I've been doing it for over a year, I'm pretty sure I've learned SOMETHING by now! The one thing I've found MOST helpful, is logging in here every day for support, information, and the knowledge that I'm not the only one feeling this way. This hard enough to do, I can't imagine doing it on my own. Even when I'm feeling really crappy about my own journey, I can come here and find some inspiration in a blog or get some encouraging words from a friend.

It makes me sad, though, when I know I have friends that are struggling, and instead of putting a few words out there, asking for support, or just yelling about how hard this is, they completely disappear. I get that it's summer and everyone's busy, but when I drop by a page to see how everyone's doing, lately, it's been "I don't know, I really haven't had time to work on it." "not so good, the Holiday's really threw me off." Or, they just leave all together. We've all had friends who've just left without a word.

You've got to hang in there friends, this can be done. It isn't pretty, and it isn't instantaneous. It takes dedication, and hard work and if you can muster it, a positive attitude! We're here because we need help and support. We know what it takes to achieve our goals, we just have to stick with it. Ask for help and offer it to others, and we'll all make it to the other side.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MY2CHIX 7/23/2011 7:21PM

    I'm here....... I am busy and not on the computer much but I have not given up - I'm logging my food through WW and I have been losing little by little. I don't mean to ignore my spark friends but when i'm on here, I am always on here for 2 hrs easily and I am using that time to be more active with my family. You are important to me and I will try to be more vocal on here. I will be without a computer for 3 weeks in August. I'm so happy your sticking with this no matter how frustrating it is. I am pushing through and not giving up either!! YAY!
You are one tough sparkler!!
Denise
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KIKI0531 7/18/2011 11:44AM

    This blog was just what I needed. This past week, I have really slacked. Both nutritionally and physically. I don't know what the issue is, but I gotta snap out of it. Starting a new week with a new mindset. I want to finish what I started and sitting on my a** eating chips will not get me to my goal. NO more excuses.

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MICHELLESMILES_ 7/16/2011 8:19AM

    I really enjoyed reading this blog. I know I couldnt do it without your support or other spark friends!


We can do it !

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SCOUTMOM715 7/15/2011 11:59PM

    Love your blog Holly!! So true!! emoticon

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THINBYFIFTY 7/15/2011 9:31AM

    Holly,

KUDOS for a great blog - one that was just what I needed this morning. I have to say, I've been fairly intentional about "staying the same weight" for the past few months...knowing I need to maintain and then burst into loss again this fall. Because I made the decision to back off on expectations of weight loss, I've been able to simply "practice" living healthy.

This mindset hasn't put me in a different place than the many people who are "stuck" but has allowed me to be content instead of frustrated. Have an amazing weekend and, again, thanks for sharing.

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WIGIME 7/15/2011 8:25AM

    I totally agree with you! Thanks for the blog Holly.

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JLITT62 7/15/2011 5:33AM

    Very true! Now imagine being stuck for 2 years. Yup, that's where I'm at. Yup, at times I get really sick of it. But I won't go back & I won't give up!

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SUSANS_TURN 7/15/2011 4:13AM

    You are so incredibly sweet Holly! Love this blog! Thank you for putting it out there! You are absolutely right on all counts. I'm almost afraid to stop blogging and checking in because by not coming on I can ignore what I started and why. That's why I started using the fitness/nutrition/weight & measurement trackers too, it gives me even more incentive to make sure I log in.

This is about so much more than losing a few pounds to look better. This is about our lives and our health. It does get frustrating and at time you just want to feel "normal" again. I believe our minds will keep having that battle until we accept that this is "normal". All anyone needs to do is look for how many people are really on this site, then realize that there are many more that aren't but are doing the same things we are. For the majority of people in the world today this is a normal part of life and it's not a bad life. It's one where we show ourselves self-love and concern everyday by taking care of ourselves. It's one where we show our families how much we care about them by taking care of ourselves.

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt Perseverance is an absolutely beautiful thing! We are all in this together and that is the beauty of this whole site! You are so right on all accounts Holly! Very well said! Thank you for posting!
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-POOKIE- 7/15/2011 3:29AM

    it does take dedication, even when the motivation isnt there, the dedication will carry you through, because really, who doesn't want to be dedicated to being ALIVE?

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BINDY61 7/15/2011 12:26AM

  Story of my life, giving up when it got hard. It's taken me years to figure it out, and realise that quick fixes don't work, but a lifestyle change does. I have been losing around one pound a week, and although it's a litte, I am confident that it's not going back on again. I am being more active, and focussing more on having a fit and healthy body, rather than the pounds I have to lose. I feel better when I am exercising, and when I feel better about myself, I am less likely to eat poorly. I start each day reminding myself of the good things I have achieved, and focus on choosing one positive thing I would like to do today.
When I have gained or lost nothing at all, I don't beat myself up about it, I review the week, and decide where I came unstuck, and move on.


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WONDERBUG381 7/15/2011 12:09AM

    Well said
I am so glad i found Spark & friends like you. It really keeps me going.
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NOTABOUTHEFACE 7/14/2011 11:33PM

    Word up! I've been frequenting weight loss boards for almost 15 years and one thing that hasn't changed from one to the other is when people need support the most is when they pipe down and slink away in shame. That DOESN'T work!

Then the ones that do find their way back feel like they need to go through some confessional process and confess their sins while away. Doesn't matter to me why you left as long as your back and ready to do work, lets get to it!

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MADTHENURSE 7/14/2011 11:23PM

    Thanks chickie... needed a kick in the butt to get in gear... I will.

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MAMADWARF 7/14/2011 11:08PM

    Good job, Holly. We just gotta keep going. I HATE when my friends dissappear. HATE IT! I aint going anywhere by the way. I still got work to do! And so do you! :)

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LESLIES537 7/14/2011 11:00PM

    Well said! I definitely agree that logging in and reading others' blogs is the most helpful thing to keep me on track. Just one of the many reasons why emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 7/14/2011 10:30PM

    The most important thing is to not give up. The further along I get, the harder it is to lose weight. Sometimes I get tired of it all too, but when I think about the alternative... to give up and regain all the weight and go back to feeling awful... nope, that's not an option for me. Not this time.

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HOLLYBELLE77 7/14/2011 10:24PM

    Thanks for this. :) And, while I may get quiet at times, I never disappear. I need to stick around great friends like you!

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LETTINGGO85 7/14/2011 10:00PM

    Great blog because we have all faced those ups and downs and keep trying to hang on. For me if you are fighting with the same 5 lbs you are winning. You are only losing when you give up. As long as you are in the fight you are a champion. It is hard, really hard. But together we will all be successful.

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TIME4AMY 7/14/2011 9:48PM

    Sad to say, but besides my few friends that I try like heck to keep in touch with (used to be a social butterfly)... you're the ones I turn to...you're the ones that keep me coming back...you're the ones who remind me I'm human...you're the ones that allow me to feel surrounded by support, not alone...you're the ones that make me stick to my calorie goal, because IT'S VIEWABLE! haha...

Hol'... you've consistantly been supportive, since the day I somehow (I've forgotten when/how by now...haha) met you. You've given me inspiration, strength, wisdom, support, guidance, and even made me shed tears of joy and sorrow. Joy, because you are there to congratulate me on my accomplishments and sorrow, because we share the same heartbreaking struggle.

I know you understand. You and I didn't have 20 lbs. to lose...nor 50... NOR 100! It's a beautiful thing that we have the ability, but it's heartbreaking that we sell ourselves short at times.

I'm not going anywhere (sure you've heard that before), but I NEED this! I have no where else to turn to...no where else to go... I don't need my mother, being her supportive self. I don't need my fiance' complimenting me on "looking good", I don't need my petite friend, telling me to keep going and "I'm worth it!". I need someone who just gets it! Who feels my pain, because they've walked a mile in my shoes. I need friends like you! Hard to come by... emoticon

Thank you for being you! I'll be here. Fighting. Riding the roller coaster. It's that kind of roller coaster, where it's so exciting that you want to do it again! Anxious about rising, but scared to fall. Good thing is... I'm NOT getting off!

Love ya Hol'!

Comment edited on: 7/14/2011 9:49:12 PM

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BARBIE042 7/14/2011 9:46PM

    Yep I know what your saying girlfriends been there and back and going thorugh it again right now ...ugh seems like a never ending cycle with me anymore . But the thing of it is I am not about to give up the fight , I know I have it in me to do this I just got to make it happen. We Can Do This Girls & We Will !

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MOONBIRD 7/14/2011 9:33PM

    I so get where you're coming from! I feel the SAME way sometimes. All I know is I will not give up and I am not going anywhere. I may not always post as much as other times, like when my husband is gone a lot and I'm alone a lot with the kids, but I'll always be around. :) I haven't had any weight loss since the end of May. I am trying to not discouraged, but I can't figure this out. I know I"ve gone over calories some, but not by huge amounts, so you'd think I'd lose something with all the working out. It is SO hard sometimes, and I feel like not many people in my day to day life get what I am going through. This has truly been a journey of blood, sweat and tears, and I am so proud of how far I've come. Hang in there. You look awesome!

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