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I'm tired...

Friday, January 18, 2013

I'm telling you, this is REALLY whiny... I know you all have the same thoughts at times I'm sure, but I need to get it out...

I'm tired...

- of looking for missing sparkfriends
- of spending time giving goodies, tying to encourage, and sending love to those that don't care
- of fighting... counting calories and working out, when it doesn't seem to matter anyhow
- of the fact that I'll STILL be obese until I lose another 20 pounds
- of not knowing what I want, or how far I want to go
- of not being happy with where I'm at right now
- of looking at my ticker and seeing it bounce around like a rubber ball
- of still seeing a fat girl in the mirror
- of wondering if I'll ever get into those jeans that are STILL hanging on the back of my door
- of not having a hardcore goal to keep myself motivated
- of being afraid of pizza, Oreos, and chips
- of feeling bad if a order a latte at the coffee shop next door, instead of drinking the coffee IN the office and using sugar free flavoring and Splenda
- of stressing over eating out and only ordering the things that are "safe"

Like I said... this is for me.... I *know* there is "cure" for all of these complaints...

I know I can have a latte any time I want, eat whatever I want when we're out, and enjoy pizza, Oreos and chips ALL in moderation....

I know that it's my journey, and no matter what, I will get there eventually...

I know that what I see in the mirror isn't what anyone else sees...

I'm just tired...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKLISE 2/18/2013 10:10AM

    I get those days also!
This too shall pass and you'll get your second wind!
Don't forget that consistency is the key!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SEATTLE58 2/8/2013 11:10AM

    You said it just like I feel! t does get rather frustrating for sure. It's like I'm obsessed with it. Every little thing we eat counts! My husband and grown son talk about it at the table with me too. I mean, they talk about how many calories they're eating, etc. Because it's about all I talk about! I'm hoping and thinking too, that this will all balance out. One day we'll be able to eye-ball everything a little more? I know that I've turned to that and now I'm back to weighing and measuring more, with thinking that that will help me go down in weight more! So I guess it's just a matter of doing what we think we need to do. We'll always have to watch it. If we overeat one day, we'll be more careful and eat less and better the next days. I know, I wish that I could be free again too, like I used too, but I also know that that's how I got up to 232#!! I thought that I could eat whatever whenever because I was put on prednisone with my RA and prednisone is known for making one hungry! My Rheumy Dr. told me that I would just have to eat less. I said Ha, what a joke! But it's true and then with changing what we eat, it is possible! It's called disclipline! Hmmmm, something new to me! ha! We can do it, Holly! We can have discipline to be more healthy!

Karen

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COURTNEYANNEMT 1/24/2013 8:05AM

  Thanks for your post. As someone who has struggled to get 10 pounds off, it often seems like those who have lost a lot of weight have something different. Your post is just a reminder that we are all in this together. I feel kind of silly offering encouragement to someone who has been able to lose, but we all have our off days. Hang in there, all we have is time and remember when you couldn't imagine being at the weight you are now? Keep plugging along and pump some endorphins in through exercise, it may give you that little boost up.

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CELEBRATEWITHME 1/23/2013 1:32PM

    This is probably the most honest blog I've ever read on here. I love it because everyone feels this way at least a few time during this process!

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LSPIZZA 1/23/2013 11:49AM

    I'm so with you. Tired of having to work so hard. Bouncing around. Being afraid to enjoy food or miss a workoout when I hurt.

But yoyu look amazing! You should be proud. emoticon

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MADTHENURSE 1/23/2013 10:43AM

    Ups and downs... the journey is a rollercoaster - at least that's what you've told me... Look at all of the goals you've listed - I think you've hit all of them (except for the jeans on the door)! Look at what you do with your kids - you no longer watch them play because you're playing WITH them. You got me off my butt - and that's a heck of a feat!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 1/22/2013 6:23PM

    there with you emoticon

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SAMMYNMK 1/22/2013 2:55PM

  The post holiday ''blahs'' are in full swing for me. I ,too, am sick and tired! All we can do is keep on keeping on! Enjoyed your posts... congratulations on your accomplishments!

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CLPURNELL 1/22/2013 1:09PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

We all get tired. I know exactly what you mean. It's ok to get tired it's part of being human. If I can offer anything it would be focus on the inside more. Focus on YOUR happiness. Do things you enjoy. It will make all of this a la little easier.

emoticon emoticon

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FIRECOM 1/22/2013 12:06PM

    I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!
Seriously, I really enjoyed this.

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LIBELULITA 1/21/2013 3:57PM

    It all get's to be so much effort sometimes , but for me I know that as soon as I go off here and stop encoraging people that i've never even had a comment or response from most of the time, well I lose my focus too, so by helping others I realise I am helping myself too. Yes, it does all get bothersome and tiresome but it's worth the effort even if it's just to maintain all that you've already achieved. I wish I had. Keep going even though you're tired....you're worth it .Thankyou for being such a good sparkfriend to me emoticon emoticon

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LEMON2012 1/21/2013 12:49PM

    Such an inspiration! Girl I'm tired after a year...ups & downs....some "beast -ode" weeks, some "mediocre" weeks but I'm still going! I struggle with "stopping" at times....but NO...another round I'll go! Love the honesty of your blog! "Just keep swimming" (keep going) emoticon

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CANDYCANE4049 1/21/2013 12:07PM

    Yes we all have the same thoughts ,Dont give up go read my sparks page,I'm still falling down and getting back up and knot giving up. emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 1/21/2013 10:36AM

    emoticon

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SUGAR0814 1/21/2013 10:32AM

    emoticon I'm tired too, but I've just begun! Stay strong & keep it moving! You can do this!

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MUGSYMOM 1/21/2013 10:28AM

    We all have "been there, done that!" I'm in the same boat with you, sister! But together, we can do this! Let's make 2013 our year! We will SUCCEED!

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ENDERLI 1/21/2013 9:46AM

    I am with you. Every step of the way.... You have hit a little bump, but we all have. You know I'm dealing with the same issues of non-motivation.
I know you can do it! You are awesome, and I thank you so much for the inspiration you have given me!!!
You Rock!
xo

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REDHEADMOM2U 1/21/2013 9:31AM

    Even your AWOL friends (ahem, me) appreciate the love when they tip their toes back in to sp. No effort is ever wasted!

you have been an inspiration!

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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 1/21/2013 9:28AM

    I'm exploring developing EFT "scripts" to move me past my anxiety and transgressions and get myself back on track quicker and quicker.

There is an EFT Team if you want to find out more, and it is discussed and used as a tool in the IOWL Team (disclaimer: I am a leader on that team!)

You don't have to "tap" to get a good effect. I'm still working on getting over the "weirdness" of tapping my anxieties away!!

I have found that just developing and saying the scripts is and enjoyable and worthwhile exercise.

I find that I am better able to take exquisite care of myself the deeper I appreciate the "whole" of me and learn to accept and move past the "bad parts." I'm able to "self correct" faster and faster and that is the true essence of long term weight loss and maintenance.

Reduces my stress a whole lot too!

Sample script:

Even though I (name my food transgression negative thought, or bad behavior)
I completely and deeply love and forgive and accept myself.

(say this 3 X)

Then say a series of 3-6 positives such as:

I eat only at mealtimes and my planned snack times.
I eat consciously enjoy every bite.
I have no more desire to eat after 6:00 at night.
I eat slowing and savor my food.
I'm aware of my hunger and use it as a gauge when I eat.
I so enjoy my food when I eat less of it!!
I enjoy my "me" time at the gym.
I take time to take care of myself.

Hope this helps some!


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GODIVADSG 1/21/2013 8:25AM

    emoticon I have been there 100 times....hang on.

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TINAJANE76 1/21/2013 5:32AM

    And this is why weight loss and successful maintenance are so very hard. Just think of how far you've come and how many positive changes you've made to your life. Do you really want to give up and go back to where you were when you first started? No way!!! I think every one of us has experienced these feelings at some point--it's easy and understandable to feel like life isn't fair if you've got weight management issues. But I know you can push through this and keep on heading towards your ultimate goals, which you're already so very close to! You can do this, girl!

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SHINYZALATA 1/21/2013 2:44AM

    Tou are soo honest expresiing wat u feel, i soo like that, i still feeel the same, takking it one day at a time, keeping the work out coz it makes me feel good abt myself.. i do still look at mysef and c aft a girl, but i compare pix and b realtic, y are we so harh on oursleves. we deserve much much more :)

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ADVENTURESEEKER 1/19/2013 9:01PM

    I wonder about some of those as well.

emoticon

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CHRISKENANDKIDS 1/19/2013 8:17PM

    It's okay! I was exactly where you are right now last year right before Christmas. I gave myself one week to eat EVERYTHING I wanted and not to work out at all. I found out that by Wednesday of that week I NEEDED to do a workout and to move somehow because I was too antsy otherwise. I did eat anything I wanted but I found out that I couldn't (or didn't want) to eat as much as I would have before I changed my habits. I MISSED my salads. I missed my activity and I realized I had finally made the changes for life. It was an awesome experience!

Give yourself time. Let yourself have one day to do what you want. But realize that with every good choice you make about food or exercise, you are still doing great things for your body even if you're still considered to be "obese." My BMI is 27 - I need to lose 12-13 more pounds to be in the normal range. But I'm happy and know I'm healthy even though I still consider myself as much bigger than I really am.

You're doing GREAT! I'm glad you were able to vent here. Know that everyone is in your corner and many of us have been where you are. Keep going! It's worth it! :) Hugs!

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SCOUTMOM715 1/19/2013 8:09PM

    Just wanted to let you know, you're not alone!! I get the same feelings too. I think you are such an inspiration. emoticon Holly. You are worth it!! emoticon

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NAYKNITS 1/19/2013 7:32PM

    emoticon its good to vent & get it all out!


emoticon for being my inspiration & cheerleader.

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CRABADA 1/19/2013 5:00PM

    I think you should be proud of yourself for venting here instead of heading for the pantry!

As for the BMI thing, I agree with the other comments that perhaps your muscle mass is skewing the results of that particular measurement. There are other, more accurate measurements of body fat and overall fitness, and you may want to check them out. Here are some URLs about alternatives:

* http://www.thecalculatorsite.com/ar
ticles/health/alternatives-to-b
mi.php

* http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/2011
0303/new-alternative-to-bmi-for
-measuring-body-fat

* http://articles.latimes.com/2012/ju
l/19/news/la-heb-bmi-alternativ
e-fat-measure20120719

* http://www.newscientist.com/article
/mg20928030.200-obesity-expert-
a-better-fat-measure-than-bmi.h
tml

* http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource
/calculator_waist.asp

Hang in there!

emoticon
Courtney

Comment edited on: 1/19/2013 5:02:29 PM

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MY2CHIX 1/19/2013 2:49PM

    Wow - look at all these responses................ you are awesome and touch so many around you - even when you think you don't. I am ashamed to say I am one the MIA's and I am not proud. I am still just as big as I have ever been. You are not! You have been busting butt and it shows. You are a true inspiration and a caring friend, mother, wife, daughter, sister............................. you can whine now and again - just don't beat yourself up too much, you have come so far and the best thing is - you are still working it and not letting those old comfortable habits get you back!
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1LOVINGMOM 1/19/2013 1:48PM

  You have cheered for me and I want to cheer for you.. Thanks for the cheers - it meant a lot to me... You can do it - those last 20 pounds will come off.. and you won't be obese. Keep on keeping on! I share your fear of certain foods - its potato chips and doughnuts for me! But those fears don't define us... You can do it! You are on this journey because you are living Holly's new life! *hugs*

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ALOFA0509 1/19/2013 1:36PM

    emoticon Listening to you and nodding my head, while sipping my Latte.. That's what friends do. Let it out sista- emoticon

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HLTHYRNRMOM 1/19/2013 12:41PM

    emoticon Just know you are NOT alone, I would say we all have the same feelings!! Big hugs & love from Texas. emoticon

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FINCHFEEDER80 1/19/2013 8:36AM

    emoticon

I know it's hard, and I hope you feel better soon! Thanks for all the smiles you've given me over the past months, and I'll make more of an effort to be more active than just tracking on here.

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MUSICALLYMINDED 1/19/2013 8:19AM

    Time for a NSV list to remind yourself of all the fabulous, exciting things you can do now. It's hard to pass up on the Oreos, but remember those horrifying moments when you realized you couldn't fit into the booth at a restaurant, or a seat on a plane? I've been there, and I know you have, too. It's tough, but the results are always worth it.

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WIGIME 1/19/2013 8:06AM

    I'm with ya on this one, I know this is going to sound condescending, ( I don't mean it that way ) but look at how far you have come!! My God woman, you have lost an entire person!!! That's gotta count for something.

You have (so far) beat some pretty stiff odds when it comes to weight loss and are an inspiration to a ton of people. It's OK to have a pity party once in a while, we all do, but you also need to look at your accomplishments.

YOU deserve this and quit being so hard on yourself.

emoticon emoticon

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GRUMBLEGIRL 1/19/2013 7:49AM

    You may be tired but you are also strong and inspiring and open and honest. You share your thoughts and successes and frustrations which makes everyone feel better and less alone with theirs. I've been having such work struggles lately but I read people's posts and am able to put my woes in perspective or gain insight in a new way to deal with the stress. I'm far too introverted to post my own blogs but appreciate and admire those that do. Your pictures and words show a strong and beautiful woman, keep telling yourself that. Today will be a better day.

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STRIVER57 1/19/2013 4:05AM

    you've done wonderfully! and yes it is hard. very hard. and slow, very slow. whining occasionally is probably good for you! good luck and hang in there!

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YESCURLYCAN 1/19/2013 2:57AM

  emoticon

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-POOKIE- 1/19/2013 2:31AM

    Frankly I have had to stop reaching out to AWOL SparkFriends unless I REALLY care about them.

I am also tired of the giving and not getting, I think we both wrote similar things in the Veterans group, about not getting the support, even the random passer by support when we where "stars" losing fast, not really struggling on the surface (kicking like mad underneath, but hey, who wants to see that?).

I'm scared of thinking this will forever be a trial to me.

*hugs* I value your friendship and I hope you value mine as much x


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LAYLA-MARIE 1/18/2013 11:27PM

    Keep at it! I am having a hard time getting my weight loss going and I totally understand where you are coming from with your frustrations!

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JOYFULJUDYLYNN 1/18/2013 10:51PM

    Been there. emoticon

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DAWNESS0404 1/18/2013 10:37PM

    I feel ya sister!! I just went throught a few days late last week and early this week feeling the same way. Ive done really good for about 3-4 days now but when I see everyone else in my family eating whatever they want I feel like screaming!!

I think you look great though!! emoticon

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CELLISTA1 1/18/2013 9:54PM

    Sometimes you just gotta whine. Sometimes you just have to be mad!!!! Sometimes (hopefully) you wake up the next morning and just say, "OK, it's not a lot of fun, but here we go again." And never underestimate hormones. It could be them talking. When they calm down, you will calm down.

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MOMOMMA622 1/18/2013 9:39PM

    Hey your comments brought me back. I am down 8 pounds. I am so proud of you. I know what you mean though. For people that have spent their whole life eating what we went when we wanted, it is HARD to stick with it.

Tonight I went to eat n park and was "good." It sucked. LOL

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SARAL72 1/18/2013 9:29PM

    I sometimes think life is a roller coaster, and I get motion sickness.

Of course you are tired!! You've been through so much!! emoticon
Changing your image, watching your food all the time, it's like discovering a new you...traveling in unknown countries... it can be really overwhelming!

I do not know why you are still in the obese range, you look fab on your photos!!! but you might have heavy bones, I know for a normal size I was 10 kgs heavier than my friends...for me a "normal size" is in the fat part of the BMI ...oh well...who cares what the scale says, what's important is if you like what you see!

I was reading that book a few months ago, about food addiction I think it was called something like "the hunger fix". I never realized before how my relation to food was so tricky...and since that book, I must say that I avoid a few things at all price, and that's probably the safest way for me.
I did quit smoking 17 years ago, when I was pregnant. I never went back, never smoked even once since!! it took 10 years for the cravings to stop....that was bad, but manageable. But food....we need it, impossible to banish it...and temptation is EVERYWHERE!

To stay focused, think everyday about what I will wear when I will be at a better weight, what workout I will be able to do without dying from an asthma attack, and how better I will feel to look at myself in the mirror.
I did buy a few things in smaller sizes, and it is great, little by little to be able to wear it.
It will be especially rewarding to be able to wear that wedding dress....if not I will have other options....I think you need to find yourself a special goal.... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POOKASLUAGH 1/18/2013 9:25PM

    Dead on. I'm tired of passing by the chips and poptarts in the grocery store when I want them. I'm tired of working so hard for no results. I'm tired of not being able to think of anything else. I'm tired of being so close to the finish line but having it look further away than ever...yeah. *hugs*

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REVIVED 1/18/2013 9:24PM

    Check out the food documentary I've been pimping all over sparkpeople. Its on netflix instant if you have that. Its called Hungry for Change. It was so eye opening for me. Changed my whole mind set as far as why I'm doing this and what I want to get out of it. I'm so ready for it to be a lifestyle.

I think a good attitude to try to have about people here and real life is to give without expecting anything back.



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BE-THE-CHANGE 1/18/2013 9:18PM

    Holly, it all does matter. I am with HEALTHYASHLEY. I gave in and gained just about all of my hard-earned losses back. You don't want to go there again. I kick myself every day for letting it happen and being angry with myself - sometimes hating myself - is a lot worse than being tired, believe me. Try to hang on until the feeling passes - reach out to those who are not missing and do care - it does matter and you are SO worth it!
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FUSIONFITNESS3 1/18/2013 9:09PM

    You've expressed my greatest fear, Holly! This is a very real part of our journeys. Unfortunately, you are faced with it right now. No quick fixes, no answers just saying I believe you will make it through this because you have prooven you're a strong, determined woman to get this far.

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HOLLYM48 1/18/2013 8:53PM

    Tomorrow is another day and it will be brighter! You are doing great and look fantastic. Don't let that mirror lie to you like that. You need to look in the mirror and see the beautiful person that we see. I hope you can hit the reset button and get a good nights sleep and feel much better in the morning! emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYASHLEY 1/18/2013 8:20PM

    I stopped doing all those things and ended up 300+ pounds again. I wish it was possible to say it stops once we are thin but it never does. It's frustrating but I think a lot of thin people do that and just aren't as vocal about it. Time to set the next goal. I am so proud of you my friend!

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An interesting thing happened at the office...

Thursday, January 03, 2013

At lunch today, I was was watching clips on GMA about People's "Half My Size" issue. There are 3 of us in our tiny little office, so of course, my coworkers could hear what I was listening to. Co-worker #1, who knew me "before," also had a weight problem when she was younger. Co-worker #2, who just started with us a couple of weeks ago, has no idea how fat I used to be, or that #1 had a weight problem at all.

After a few minutes of listening to these inspiring stories, #2 says, "I don't understand why, when someone stops eating fast food and gets off their butt, they get to be on a cover of a magazine." Keep in mind that this is coming from a young, thin, 20 something.

I'm not sure how I felt about her reaction to the stories...

On one hand, I was irritated that she said that... I kind of wanted to yell that I've nearly lost half my body weight and it's no easy feat. On the other hand, I feel like she has a point. Why should anyone get recognized for this? I'm the one that made myself fat, why should I get a medal for fixing it.

All at once, I had a multitude of thoughts running through my head. How can she say something like that... do I tell her MY story... will it change her thoughts about people who have struggled with weight... how can she look at me and not think I'm still overweight... maybe she's trying to tell me that I need to lose weight...

And yet still, more thoughts... she doesn't think I'm fat... how can she NOT think I'm fat... maybe I really do look almost normal now... she can't think I'm overweight AND still say something like that... can she???

I wanted to talk to #1 to see what her thoughts were about all of it. Maybe she really wasn't paying attention, I'm not sure. I really like the new girl, I have nothing against her regardless of her feelings on the subject. It just brought some weird feelings to the surface on my part, and I just found it all very interesting.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KABMPH 2/18/2013 9:55AM

    When I was in my 20s I saw things in very black and white terms and had strong opinions. I probably have said insensitive things like your new co-worker did to you. I sometimes think back to how ignorant I could be and hope my friends and family don't hold grudges. It took me a long time to get to a more mature place. I always hold out hope for the younger generation to discover the same.

In other news, I am originally from WNY and a SUNY Fredonia graduate. I enjoyed hiking at Panama Rocks in college. emoticon

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BAMAJAM 1/23/2013 4:33PM

  Holly, you are an amazing success story! Losing so much weight is indeed a wonderful accomplishment, and you provide wonderful inspiration for others to persevere in working towards their goals!
There are so many wise comments here. When that young woman gains some maturity (and wisdom) in the years ahead, her attitude might change. Show her kindness always, and forgive her.
Thank you for being a fabulous role model -- You are a superstar, Holly!

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LIVINTODAY 1/21/2013 6:09AM

    20 something is SO young. I'm sure she doesn't realise that she may look a whole lot different at 30, 40, 50 or older. I weighed less than 100 pounds when I married. Then there was pregnancy; budgets that simply didn't allow for stretching. When you plan two paydays ahead to buy shoes for the child that will need them the most, you don't go to a diet group, buy magazines, join a gym, etc. You buy the food you can stretch the furthest and you may not realize that you can get all the exercise you need at home. Then Sparkpeople comes along!
I hope she will not always remain as naive as she is today. She should stand in awe of you and others who have had the strength to turn their lives around. Someday she will.
In the meantime, just continue to be a good example. She needs role models of kindness, wiseness, and moderation in all things - including speech.
I'm glad you are not harshly judgemental of her judgements, that is being a role model!

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BOREDIMSO 1/20/2013 1:55AM

    I would have taken a moment to think about it (and would have had very similar thoughts running in my head as you did) and I would have responded with, I think those people get to be on that special issue and get coverage because they are inspirational to the millions of Americans out there that don't know how to begin to get healthy. We as a country have a major obesity problem and the more coverage these success stories get in the media, the more chance of motivating someone and possibly saving their life. That's when I would have shared some of my weight success if I were you. Some naturally thin people are just unaware of how difficult it is to lose weight and some almost treat fat people like they aren't even human beings with feelings. Although my heart has been broken by many a snide look or comment or job dismissal (I was even asked bluntly by several girls at a party once how I got my fiance to fall for me-- I knew they weren't trying to be rude-- just unable to make the connection in their brain that an overweight girl could have found her soul-mate. But it still hurt and annoyed me), I know that I can make myself a healthier person and lose weight and someday be as beautiful on the outside as I am inside. And those thin people that are hurtful whether they mean to be or not will always have an ugliness within them.

Comment edited on: 1/20/2013 2:01:06 AM

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COOKIE_AT_51 1/11/2013 8:55AM

    Whatever you decide to do it is an interesting thing to ponder. You need to do what makes you feel good so you can let it go ... because you are emoticon

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BMCKEOW1 1/7/2013 12:44PM

    I can see it both ways. But at the same time, it's still a huge thing to be proud of. We celebrate people for getting over alot of addictions they have. We tell people its great that they gave up drugs, or alcohol. Food is and can be an addiction so part of me says we should celebrate that, but we also got ourself into this problem.

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MOONBIRD 1/6/2013 5:50PM

    Honestly, I do not think you look fat AT ALL! If I heard someone say that, it would piss me off. They obviously do not get what a struggle it is to lose that much weight. For someone like me who has been fat their whole life, I have never known anything else. I know people who eat crap all the time, never work out, and they are not fat, but I have to bust my butt and still can't eat how they eat. It's completely unfair, and people who have never had to lose a lot of weight just don't understand. I think people who work hard deserve the recognition. It inspires others.

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BE-THE-CHANGE 1/5/2013 6:41PM

    First, Holly, what you have accomplished is nothing short of awesome!

I definitely agree with the comments about young 20-somethings not having appropriate filters and not understanding something they have never experienced.

I think the reason these things are in the news, etc., is because people want/need the inspiration. If you have never succeeded, it helps to know that people out there have and to learn more about how they did it. For those of us who have succeeded only to backslide (like me), I need to know there are people who make it to the other side and stay there.

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HOLLYM48 1/5/2013 11:45AM

    People don't realize they are being insensitive because they don't think twice about saying stuff like that, especially some of the younger thinner people who have never had to deal with weight issues. I don't think they are trying to be mean, they just don't get it.
I am sure she doesn't think of you as over weight because you aren't.
At some point, it might be helpful to share your story with her if you feel it would help her to be more sensitive to others that aren't naturally thin or really have to work for it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAKEKATY 1/5/2013 8:52AM

  As someone who knows you all your life, I know you have worked hard to be where you are right now. She is young, but that is still no reason to make a remark like that. I feel she probably doesn't see you as fat. Because you are NOT that girl nof 2 years ago. You need to see yourself the way others do no as LOOKING GOOD. I think you should put the pic of you in the beginning of your journey and a current one in the office. See if she comments.

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CLPURNELL 1/4/2013 9:53PM

    I think she is speaking from a point of ignorance. She doesn't know you what you have faced in life and what you have had to endure. No one is Just fat for the sake of being fat. Often it is a result of growing up with some trauma and turning to food to try and numb the feeling from said trauma. So to say that with no idea what these people have been through is ignorant and judgmental. So I personally think it was a very rude and ignorant comment. Same types of comments are made about unemployed and the poor. that they are just lazy and shiftless. It is just not true. if you don't have or don't know or associate with poor people how would you know.

Do not let some one else's ignorance diminish your accomplishments. she has no idea what work it is to dig out of a 120+ lb whole. You have probably lost her whole weight in it's entirety. Be proud and define your self by your work and not the comments of others!

emoticon

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RAMONAFLOWERZ 1/4/2013 9:39AM

    I would have been taken aback too... it's the whole "until you've walked a mile" adage. She has no idea.

I'd just let it fly (this time!)

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-POOKIE- 1/4/2013 9:25AM

    I find this sort of thing interesting from a sort of opposite perspective right now.

I started this new job when we moved, nobody knows I used to be over 300lbs... all they have seen is this I am now, bit of pudge, nothing serious, certainly nothing outside a lot of people.

A couple ladies are trying to lose a lot of weight, I feel I dont want to tell I used to be the same as you, I dont want to be seen any different, "judged" any different I guess....

We did put ourselves in that fat place, but we also got ourselves back and if that works as an inspiration for somebody else to take control of their health then its a good thing being on that cover.

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NUOVAELLE 1/4/2013 9:25AM

    I love weird situations like these which provide food for thought! There are many subjects that we can talk about here. I don't agree with your young colleague, even though I understand her somewhat disrespectful reaction. We tend to know everything and have an opinion about everyone at this age. I hope she realizes soon enough that usually the achievements which look the simplest in our eyes are usually the ones which require the hardest commitment and the biggest sacrifices.
As for you, Holly, do as you feel like. If you feel the need to talk about what you've accomplished, do so. Not because you have to prove something to anyone. Just because you deserve to get praised for this as much as everyone else who has managed to lose so much weight. Because it's one of the most difficult things we have ever done and it requires qualities like commitment, self-respect, strong will and determination which are becoming harder and harder to find in our days.
Be proud! You deserve it!
emoticon

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MADTHENURSE 1/4/2013 6:05AM

    Ahh, to be 20 again. And not have that internal filter that strengthens with age...

A few thoughts...

I can watch football on tv and say he's playing a game, why does he get all this fame and fortune? But I haven't been around for the years of preparation, blood, sweat and tears. The girl just hasn't lived it, so she doesn't get it. Also, she probably doesn't have a clue about what you've been through and she does see you as "normal." My guess is that you just aren't used to meeting people who didn't know you before. It's hard to break out of the "fat girl" mindset. Even when we do celebrate accomplishments, we still manage to see some shadow around ourselves in the mirror.

I disagree with you about being rewarded for something done to ourselves - yes, we did this. But that was the easy part. No one ever got rewarded (well, maybe in some record book) for reaching a morbidly obese weight. No one ever said, "Wow, how hard that must have been eating non-stop and laying on the couch all the time; Great job!!" I also think that no one chooses to get that way - it sort of sneaks up on you all the sudden and you say to yourself "how did this happen?" Losing weight, or even just taking on the commitment of a healthier lifestyle is really hard work. You've taken accountability for years of bad habits and made major changes in your life.
YOU SHOULD BE APPLAUDED FOR THAT!!!!!

Just my two cents... have a great day!!

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ILIKETOZUMBA 1/4/2013 12:41AM

    People who've never struggled with their weight don't understand how easy it is for some of us to pack on the pounds and how hard it is to correct the problem. Sure, we don't deserve to all get on TV and be awarded medals and whatnot for our success - but the truth is, we DON'T all get those things. Just a very few who, by luck/networking, come to the attention of news producers who think they might make for an inspirational feel-good story. Honestly, it IS inspiring to see someone work hard and make changes to correct a problem. It's very understandable that a few people make the news for losing weight. This girl just hasn't had to think about these things from a personal perspective before. Hopefully she'll never have to! But maybe if you're comfortable with it and the subject comes up again, you can briefly mention your own history and share your own perspective; can't hurt to expose her to another side of the issue. Maybe she'll realize she was being a bit insensitive, even if she had a point.

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PHEBESS 1/4/2013 12:34AM

    Interesting - and yes, she doesn't see you as overweight! Or at least, has no idea that you've lost half your body weight, or ever used to be fat.

And yes, she probably needs to have her eyes opened and hear your story.

And the reason people like you belong on magazine covers is because the rest of the overweight people need to know they can change. YOU provide more motivation than seeing Heidi Klum on a magazine cover!

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ADVENTURESEEKER 1/3/2013 11:08PM

    Yeah, I agree with Pookasluagh when she said the girl probably had no clue. And you do look normal. And the new people will not know how far you've come or what it took. I moved to my new office last fall, and people saw me get rid of close to 40-50 lbs. And regain some. But they didn't see me lose the first almost 50. They don't know.

But it's probably not the time to share. I just do what I do. Struggle and get back up. Every day.

And yes, success stories do deserve recognition, as they provide others in a similar situation with hope. But I also agree it was ourselves that got us therein the first place.

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ITSMATT 1/3/2013 10:59PM

    Hi there - how are you doing?

Interesting blog post.

Made me think about how hard it is to understand a situation until you've been there yourself. No offense intended to 20-somethings but there's still a lot of living and learning to do when one is in their twenties. Some people in their twenties are pretty mature. Others...well, not so much. I think back to how I was when I was in my twenties... thought I knew it all and had no problem letting folks know about it. Didn't really care what they thought either. Wow, was I naive and a piece of work! Perhaps I'm better now. I hope so.

I think the point in "rewarding" someone for losing weight that they themselves put on is that this is an UNCOMMON SITUATION - the losing of the weight, that is. I know a lot of people and so I know a fair number of overweight and obese people. The VAST majority of them have either never really tried (where it was visible to me that they were trying) or never succeeded in losing the weight. I think that's because weight loss is hard. It is POSSIBLE but hard nonetheless.

Someone who hasn't ever been obese - for whatever reason - really would have a difficult time understanding the world of an obese person, I think. It's the old "walk in another's shoes" situation. It's EASY to have some opinions about something that you've never dealt with personally.

Of course, I'm assuming this young person you mentioned has never had a weight problem herself. I am, however, making an assumption that may, in fact, not be valid. Perhaps she's just been successful herself. Might be the case. Probably not though.

I'm impressed with the success you've had, by the way. Congratulations on that!

And hey...

Make it a great day!
Matt

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MAMADWARF 1/3/2013 10:37PM

    I would have said something. But that is just me....

I would be BRAGGING, GIRL, if I was you! You have done amazing things!!

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SFSU-GRAD 1/3/2013 10:08PM

    I normally don't feel like it's that big of a deal to have lost a significant amount of weight. (I'm down 100 from my highest point) It is just something I put my mind to and did it, after being overweight my entire life. To me the celebration should be those that have kept it off for two - three - 10 years! That is what amazes me. Clearly people don't understand the challenges it takes to find and balance the new normal. I find that much more challenging than the actual loss. Perhaps my response is a bit off topic but that is what came to mind emoticon .

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MYRTROSE 1/3/2013 8:39PM

    It is weird! I am convinced she has no idea that you had a weight problem and that is definitely something to celebrate! Congrats!
You are so close to goal! Time to start grappling with that inner image!
As for #2 and her comment...When I read about people losing massive amounts of weight and changing their lives, it's a story of triumph and inspiration, not only aimed at the morbidly obese. Convincing her otherwise is probably a moot point. Her initial reaction speaks volumes.

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YESCURLYCAN 1/3/2013 8:34PM

  Interesting indeed Holly. You know I love a chance to be analytical lol. Bless her heart because she is 20yrs old and thin; may she never have to know about the struggle with weight. I say bless her heart because she isn't alone. i think of all the people that wanted to add their 2 cents to my weight loss battle. "Curly, girl what you need to do is___, and that's it." They didn't know any better, because most of them have never struggled and even if they did; they weren't me. People get magazine covers, and articles written about them because it is our culture and our country. Mrs.Honeycomb said it best, people are looking for inspiration and help.

So the 20yr old was right in a way BUT weight loss warriors like yourself are seen as heroes deserving of a cover (recognition of any kind) because a lot of folks DO recognize that it is NOT easy; that it is hard. Thank you for sharing this. emoticon

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MRSHONEYCOMB 1/3/2013 7:59PM

    I don't think It's about rewarding people for fixing themselves ...I think its about giving insperation and advice to those who need to "fix" themselves!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 1/3/2013 7:47PM

    I have to say people make really ignorant comments to me about the evils of fat people. It surprises me every time because clearly they have eyes and can see me. Finally one day I called one of them out on it and they said they didn't really notice it because I am there friend. Um, ok. People who have never been very overweight often can't truly get it just as I can't really truly understand how an alcoholic doesn't "just stop drinking". Then I have empathy for other human beings and realize we all have personal things we struggle with that make us human. If someone is able to overcome that flaw I think they deserve to recognized. Period.

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POOKASLUAGH 1/3/2013 7:35PM

    I think there's a good possibility that she just has no idea what work there is involved in weight loss, that there's more to quitting fast food and getitng off your butt, you know? I remember the things I used to think when I was thin and never had a weight problem, compared to the things I thought when my greatest weight problem was being at the top of a healthy BMI range and thinking I needed to lose 30 lbs, and even compared to when my all-time high was 185 lbs. Very different from when I started out morbidly obese. Just like someone young can't understand the point of view of someone older, the very thin who have never experienced obesity and weight loss can't really understand that either. Maybe it can be a teaching moment. :D

And you DO look about normal now, Holly. I look at myself and realize that sometimes as well, and it just boggles my mind, especially knowing I have further that I want to go.

And you know, not everyone on those magazines did it to themselves. Some people gain weight due to medications and illneses and all sorts of things. You know my story. My cousin gained a ton of weight when he had a brain tumor removed and has never been able to lose it. One of my good friends has RA and has been on experimental medications since early college. She was thin in high school, and around 250 now. Lots of people gain for reasons that have nothing to do with eating too much. It's hard work to lose no matter WHAT the reasons for gaining is.

Comment edited on: 1/3/2013 7:37:52 PM

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WILLPARKINSON 1/3/2013 7:26PM

    It was tacky of her to say anything. And pretty disrespectful. She has no idea what some people go through to find their way back to a healthy lifestyle.

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ILOVEMALI 1/3/2013 7:23PM

    Ignore her. You are an inspiration to all of us, and to everyone who knows you. You have proven that you can do something that is very difficult and that few people are able to do. You follow through. You are committed. You are amazing.

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CITYDWELLERS72 1/3/2013 7:22PM

    That's an interesting problem. I think you'll know when it will be the right time to talk to her. Until then hold your head high and be thrilled with your accomplishment!!

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PARKERB2 1/3/2013 7:17PM

    Thanks for the interesting insight. I like it when people comment on how I have lost weight and am looking good, don't you?

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JESSIHOVER2 1/3/2013 7:14PM

    That's funny. I just started a new job and they call me the skinny girl. I have never been called the skinny girl.

I do kind of agree though. Why should we be rewarding for essentially fixing something we broke??

Either way you look amazing and that's all that really matters.

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Ghosts of Christmas Past...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

This is my 3rd Christmas with Sparkpeople, so I thought I'd share my ghosts of years past.

2009, the Christmas before Spark 307+ pounds


2010, my first Holiday with Spark about 250 pounds


2011, right around 195 pounds


2012, I felt AMAZING in this red dress! 166 pounds


then and now

As this year is ending, I've been doing a lot of reflection. Am I where I want to be... not exactly. Am I where I "should" be by now... I don't think so. BUT, am I diggin' this new life of mine? HELL YAH!!!

My wish for all of you is to have a VERY happy and healthy New Year!

***sorry about the weird size of these photos, I don't know why they look like this***

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DB1167 1/29/2013 1:03PM

    Amazing and beautiful is what you are! Keep up the great work!!!!!

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MSDIBS 1/22/2013 6:54PM

    Sure needed this pictorial encouragement
You are one amazing success story!
Thank you,

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BABYBARNEY 1/22/2013 3:58PM

    I love pic transformations!!! So motivating....you are gorgeous...love that RED dress!!!

Have a GREAT NEW YEAR!

Sandi emoticon

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PJZIELIN 1/22/2013 12:27PM

    Holly, you are beautiful, inside and out! A true inspiration for me as I get started again on my journey to weight loss and a healthier me this year.

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LULU3561 1/22/2013 10:40AM

    BEAUTIFUL! Thanks for sharing. You should be so proud of what you accomplished - that feeling is better than any desserts. emoticon

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BARBARAROSE54 1/21/2013 2:00PM

    emoticon

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KATSMOM1 1/21/2013 1:33PM

    That is amazing!

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BRITOMART 1/21/2013 1:06PM

    BRAVA! and the joy shows so clearly.

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LOLAJO54 1/21/2013 12:08PM

    fantastic
what a great journey you have been on ...keep following your healthy path..

hugs Jo

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RAINBOWMF 1/21/2013 10:28AM

    emoticon

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MY2CHIX 1/15/2013 6:18PM

    You are simply amazing!!! Your new pictures show just how much happier you are as you just glow!! I have missed you and spark and now I am back. Yay!

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LIBELULITA 1/7/2013 3:59PM

    These photos brought tears to my eyes. What a massive achievement, and how humble it makes me feel. You deserve to be loving your new life. Well done gorgeous emoticon emoticon

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JAKEKATY 1/5/2013 9:04AM

  I don't think you should ever second guess yourself and ask have I gotten to where I want to be at this stage. You have gone way beyond where you want to be by just being honest no matter what the day gives you. You help peoplle see that the journey is LONG, AND ROCKY, but so worth it. Your BLOGS are so amazing.


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ALOFA0509 1/3/2013 12:52PM

    Awsum job!!! Stunning pix- emoticon

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SPUNKYDUCKY 1/3/2013 1:43AM

    I think my favorite posts are the photo collages that really show the journey - awesome story. And you look totally HOT!

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NAYKNITS 1/2/2013 11:28AM

    emoticon emoticon

Thank you for sharing. You are such an inspiration!!

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ENDERLI 1/2/2013 10:38AM

    You are amazing & I love you!
xoxox

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LOTUSFLOWER 1/1/2013 10:49PM

    Holly, you look so amazing! I love the concept of this blog, the ghosts of Christmas Past. You are just such an inspiration!!!!

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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 1/1/2013 8:40AM

    Great blog as usual!!

Thanks for being a great Spark Friend and Inspiration in 2012.

Looking forward to see what 2013 brings us!!


..*) ♥.*)
(. .♥ (. .♥ (.*`* ♥☆.*`*♥☆
;
;.*
`*♥☆ Spread the Spark!!!

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JENNA54 1/1/2013 3:52AM

    What a fabulous way to show just how very far you have come! Absolutely amazing changes, and just goes to show what we can all achieve as long as we don't give up. Thank you so much for sharing these pictures. I hope 2013 is an exceptional year for you.

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RECREATING_ME 12/31/2012 3:43PM

    Just beautiful, Holly -- you are gorgeous in that red dress!

Seeing the transformation from one year is a great reminder that this is not just a short fix, but a long-term change in our lives. emoticon on your great success!

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MYRTROSE 12/30/2012 1:58PM

    You are amazing! I cannot believe the transformation!
It really brought tears to my eyes. You are glowing with health and happiness!

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HOLLYBELLE77 12/29/2012 10:42PM

    You look amazing! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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HOLLYM48 12/28/2012 6:57PM

    You look Awesome! What a great transformation!! emoticon

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BE-THE-CHANGE 12/27/2012 10:12PM

    You look marvelous!

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SCOUTMOM715 12/27/2012 9:52PM

    You look amazing!! Love the red dress!! emoticon

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KITT52 12/27/2012 4:21PM

    wow great job

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NIKKICOLE83 12/27/2012 12:46PM

    I love that you got a bright red dress to show off your curvacious, sexy new body! You look emoticon and have come so far! Don't ever grow your hair out becuase your haircut is so becoming on you.

And by the way, you are RIGHT where you should be. After coming as far as you have, you should never second guess that.

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KANOE10 12/27/2012 9:21AM

    You look beautiful. What a transformation. Lovely..Way to go. emoticon

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FITFOODIE806 12/27/2012 9:18AM

    gorgeous!! You look incredible.

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JUDYAMK 12/27/2012 8:30AM

    Wow how about you!!!!!!! You look fabulous you are what everyone of us needs than you for sharing
Judy

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POOKASLUAGH 12/27/2012 7:48AM

    But just think - in a bad year that didn't go according to plan - you still lost 30 lbs!! That's awesome. :)

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XFITSTRONG 12/27/2012 6:25AM

    What a cool blog!!!! You have come so far.... Have a great New Year!

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NUOVAELLE 12/27/2012 2:33AM

    The ghosts of Christmas past and the miracles of Christmas present!!!
You look amazing Holly! I hope you had a beautiful Christmas and I'm wishing you all the best for the new year.
Here's to all the new miracles that Christmas future will bring!
emoticon emoticon

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YESCURLYCAN 12/27/2012 1:50AM

  What a wonderful photo journey! You have come along way Holly; you should be very proud of yourself. I think 2013 is going to be a very good year, not because of any weight loss goals, but because I can see you truly coming into your own next year. Realizing and loving all of your success, becoming comfortable with the new Holly and celebrating all the way emoticon It will be your awakening. emoticon for sharing and being a wonderful inspiration! Spark on emoticon

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HLTHYRNRMOM 12/26/2012 10:20PM

    emoticon So proud of you! You keep me inpired all the time lady emoticon You rocked that red dress. The HAIR is fab too!!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 12/26/2012 10:19PM

    I am so thankful I have met you here on Spark People, Holly. From the day I met you on your page I was inspired and I continue to be inspired by your story. Today's blog represents an amazing person with an amazing journey. Yes, that's you. You are amazing. You look amazing. Holly, are you where you should be? I think so. You are a very real person on a very real journey here on spark people inspiring me and without a doubt many others. Did you ever dream you would be inspiring so many? Yes, you may wish that you were a little further in your journey but when you reflect on where you have come from, the difference you are making in not only your own life but the lives of many others, you are right where you need to be.
Have an absolutely Sparktacular new year my amazing friend!
Maria

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DETERMINED_ME 12/26/2012 10:06PM

    What an emoticon journey! You look amazing! emoticon

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 12/26/2012 9:28PM

    What a wonderful journey for you!! Thanks for sharing. I hope to be able to put something like this together when I have lost the weight I am trying to lose.

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RODRIGUEZ41508 12/26/2012 8:58PM

    WOW ! Truly AMAZING !!!
Be So Proud of your Success this far ..... emoticon

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CLPURNELL 12/26/2012 8:45PM

    You have done so awesome!!!!!!!!!!!! You should be so proud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAT-IN-CJ 12/26/2012 8:38PM

    Absolutely AMAZING!!!!! And absolutely beautiful!!!
You are such an encouragement!!!!
Thank you for sharing.

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CITYDWELLERS72 12/26/2012 8:37PM

    "Am I where I "should" be by now..." OK sweet Holly I just want you to rethink that statement because darlin' you are such inspiration and amazing woman and I want you to fully embrace that. When I read the above statement it has a bit of a failure sound to it. In no way do you represent failure. Daily struggles...sure who doesn't but not failure at all!!! Just want you to know how much I appreciate you sharing your journey and how honest you are with us.

Blessings!
Bonnie

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ROSET491 12/26/2012 8:32PM

    Love these pictures! You have done such an amazing job! Here's to a great 2013!

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KTISFOCUSED 12/26/2012 8:18PM

    Amazing! You look beautiful!!!

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 12/26/2012 8:17PM

    Thank you. The journey doesn't have to happen overnight to be successful. Thank you for the reminder and the fabulous encouragement!

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THOMASINA57 12/26/2012 8:04PM

    What a transformation and congrats on your hard work. You look beautiful.

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SARAHJ19 12/26/2012 7:53PM

    Wow, you look amazing!!!!! You should be so so proud!!! I love your short pixie haircut, it looks so cute on you!
Way to go girl!
Have a happy New Year! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CUPCAKE_PIRATE 12/26/2012 7:03PM

    You're amazing! :)

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HEALTHYASHLEY 12/26/2012 6:34PM

    Holly you look so beautiful and I am so proud of you!

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You're NOT gonna die!!!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

That's what I kept telling myself as I was jogging on treadmill tonight. TRUE CONFESSION... I haven't done any jogging at all since the Turkey Trot. I haven't done anything but ONE 6 mile walk... in 2 1/2 weeks... so pathetic.

Well, tonight was a bit of an eye opener... I struggled with every at step. I still completed 3 miles in 38 minutes, but I felt like I was going to D. I. E. There are no excuses for my lack of activity, I just haven't done anything.

I'm doing a Dirty Girl run in June and The Biggest Loser is going to be here in August and I'm doing a 5k with them. I was doing a 5k 3-4 times a week to prepare for the Turkey Trot, and if I want to do well at these upcoming events I need to get back to it. I felt great when I was working out like that, and the scale started moving in the right direction because of it.

If I want to keep my new lifestyle, I need to work at it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOONGLOWSNANA 1/21/2013 8:36AM

  Look at your pictures! Wow! There really is a beautiful girl there and you can be proud of all your hard work! To borrow from another Spark person, "Lose, maintain, just don't gain!" Stay with it. Stay focused. Look how far you've come and keep at it for an even healthier you! emoticon

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CHESAKAT41 1/20/2013 10:10AM

    I just hate exercise - I have a exercise bike that I want to ride, but I don't. I just can't get motivated. But, I won't get rid of it because I want to ride it (in my head)...Ya know??? Way to go with your run!

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KTISFOCUSED 12/26/2012 8:18PM

    Amazing! You are beautiful, Holly!

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FERFEY02 12/22/2012 11:49AM

    The fact is you are back on your game. Keep it up. emoticon

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MICHELLESMILES_ 12/22/2012 10:08AM

    You got this :)

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LADYBUG546 12/18/2012 5:58PM

    You can do...one step at a time

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SPUNKYDUCKY 12/17/2012 11:07PM

    You definitely won't die! It is great that you have so many races planned that will help keep you on track.

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FINCHFEEDER80 12/16/2012 3:45PM

    Sometimes, I just have to go at it minute by minute. I tell myself "you can do anything for one minute". I got on an elliptical for the first time in months, and at 15 minutes I was seriously considering getting off. But I forced myself to stay until 20 minutes, and usually once I hit there, the last 10 just melt away. Kudos to you for getting back on the treadmill! I totally understand- but we are totally stronger than that feeling of dying. We totally have this, girl!

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AMBER281 12/14/2012 9:37PM

    Just keep going. You can do it!

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KARENDEE4 12/13/2012 5:32PM

    it comes back quickly though. Just keep going. When I take a break from jogging it is harder at first. Don't get discouraged if you are slowe than the last time you ran. It comes back!

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OVERHAULING-ME 12/13/2012 4:07PM

    Yay, You LIVED! Isn't it crazy how quickly we lose our strength and stamina when we aren't using it?!

How fun your upcoming events sound! I didn't know BL did races within the community!

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ERINLOEWY 12/13/2012 3:10PM

    I say that everytime I'm on the Treadmill emoticon and then I say well if I did at least I died trying!!

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TRACY31502 12/13/2012 2:52PM

    You got this girl!!!!

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NIKKICOLE83 12/13/2012 11:55AM

    For you to have not jogged in a while, that is excellent time! I woud love to see the Biggest Loser contestants and that is great motivation to get back into the swing of things.

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CYNCERELY4ME 12/13/2012 10:42AM

    emoticon

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TRUE-NESS 12/13/2012 5:20AM

    That is definitely the mantra to repeat while running... LOL. You certainly do feel like it at points. For me, it's usually the first 5 minutes. After that, it's like the gears click in and it's not so physically hard. It's just mentally hard to push oneself to continue when you just want to stop. I commend you. You'll get back into your groove. And it'l be smooth sailing after that. After a week of runs you'll be back to your former running self.
emoticon

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ACCT1908 12/12/2012 9:08AM

    You can do it Holly!!!

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ENDERLI 12/12/2012 8:37AM

    You Got this! How awesome that you are getting back on that treadmill!!! I'm so proud of you. You will feel better for it too.
love ya girl!
xo emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SADWHITEWOLF 12/12/2012 8:20AM

    Even when I do my consistant 3 days a week workout, there are still times when I get on the treadmill and every step is a fight with my body and willpower!
WTG on pushing through!

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LOSTLIME 12/12/2012 7:58AM

    I have to get on the band wagon too! I know that I will feel better after I exercise. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KITT52 12/12/2012 7:27AM

    just start, one foot in front of the other....when I don't want to I tell myself just 10 minutes ....once I get started I just keep going, has worked for me every time...it's getting started that seems the hardest but once the heart gets pumping and the blood gets moving you are on your way.....

have a healthy day

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WIGIME 12/12/2012 6:59AM

    When it gets tough, everyone who WANTS to succeed finds a way to do so. Oh yeah, that would be YOU! Good going girly!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 12/12/2012 3:18AM

    emoticon You got back on the treadmill and pushed yourself. Considering you hadn't been on for weeks I'd say your time was decent. Now that you've taken that first step do it all over again. emoticon and before you know it you'll be back in shape again.
It is discouraging how quickly our bodies loose the muscles and toning we build but it is the reality. Use it or loose it.
I'm cutting back right at the moment because I have too much to do but my greatest fears are: 1. will I have the motivations to get back to it with the same commitment I've had and 2. will I loose too much of what I've worked so hard to gain in physical ability. At the moment I am trusting that I will have the determination to get back in full swing as soon as I have the energy and time again.
emoticon emoticon
MARIA

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DAWN14163 12/12/2012 3:06AM

    The first step is always the hardest - literally. I often don't feel like going out, but LOVE the feeling when I finish. You will soon pick up your fitness again if it's only 3 weeks since you last ran. "Muscle memory" kicks in. My mantra to get me out the door - " you either ran today...or you didn't". Good luck with it.

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YESCURLYCAN 12/12/2012 2:18AM

  emoticon for getting your booty back in gear. Like another commenter said, you haven't been doing much lately and still finished 3 miles in under 40 minutes; hot diggity! That is emoticon. You have so got this Holly and I can't wait till everyone is eating your dust emoticon Spark on! emoticon

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NUOVAELLE 12/12/2012 1:47AM

    I'm sure you can do it Holly! And you're definitely not going to die! I know how our body tends to "forget" when we stay away from exercise for a couple of weeks and how frustrating this can be. But the sooner we decide to get back on our fitness wagon, the easier it will be for our body to follow us. You've made the first step! Just put one foot in front of the other and keep it up!
Sometimes I tend to skip my workouts when I'm tired of doing the same things again and again. Maybe trying something new or mixing things up a bit could get you motivated again? Just a thought!
emoticon emoticon

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ILIKETOZUMBA 12/11/2012 11:00PM

    You'll get there! As I'm sure you already know, since you were running several 5ks a week before...it'll get easier. :) Keep up the good work!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 12/11/2012 10:52PM

    I can be off and on like that and every time I wonder why I stopped after doing all that work to get there. Good for you recognizing it before too much damage was done!

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MAMADWARF 12/11/2012 10:41PM

    Consider it punishing the cookies!!!! Love ya!

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 12/11/2012 10:11PM

    Today was step one. Tomorrow is step two. You can do this. Treat it like it's your job. Once you get your streak going, you will feel so much better. And once you feel better, it will be so much easier to keep doing it. Exercise keeps your telomeres from shrinking!!

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CLPURNELL 12/11/2012 9:53PM

    emoticon emoticon

I know what you mean I went three weeks without touching a weight when I started this new job. I felt like an absolute weakling the first day back. We just have to clear the dust and we will be back at it!

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BE-THE-CHANGE 12/11/2012 9:44PM

    emoticon

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POOKASLUAGH 12/11/2012 9:19PM

    You can do it Holly, and just think - you still completed 3 miles in 38 minutes, which is fantastic, and even more fantastic since you haven't been running at all for a few weeks! And you didn't die, and next time it'll feel a bit better. :)

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 12/11/2012 9:01PM

    I know how I feel after taking my earned day off on Sunday, so I can only imagine.... lace up your boot straps and dig back in, you know you can do it!

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SAILING2GOAL 12/11/2012 8:47PM

    Yeah, me too!

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CHRISKENANDKIDS 12/11/2012 8:38PM

    Hugs to you! That is exactly what keeps me working out - I know how I feel when I don't. You can do it!

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 12/11/2012 8:37PM

    Good for you for getting back on the mechanical horse! emoticon

emoticon

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TINAJANE76 12/11/2012 8:26PM

    You've already taken the hardest step of getting back to it and pushing your way through your first workout after a break. Now you just need to keep it going and I KNOW you can do it. Just think of how far you've come. You're a fighter!

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CITYDWELLERS72 12/11/2012 8:24PM

    Me too!!!

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ILOVEMALI 12/11/2012 8:17PM

    I need to start walking again. It won't kill me, either.

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It's a GREAT day!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

It's Thanksgiving, and I have SO much to be thankful for. First of all, I'm thankful for my new, healthy lifestyle. Because of the changes I've made, my whole family is living a better existence and I couldn't be happier about it. I'm thankful for my family and the constant support through all of the exciting milestone as well and all the tears and struggles. I'm thankful for all my friends, real and here at SP. I couldn't have done this without your support, and virtual goodies, and well as those kicks in the behind. I love you guys, and I'm so happy to be a part of this site.

Today is a great day... I've lost 140 pounds!!! WOOHOO!!!

2010

2012

This is also the first year I've run the Turkey Trot. We walked it the last 2 years, and this year we decided that we were going to practice and run it... actually it was more of a slog, thanks Renee! The first year we did it, we finished in 1:00:30... not bad for never exercising. Last year we walked it in 52:25. This year, after running it 3-4 times a week for the last 3 months, and typically completing it in 41-42 minutes, I was shocked to see that, TODAY, I did it in 37:10, AHHHHHHH, WOOHOO!!!!!!


This is before the race with my oldest and dearest friend Lisa, her husband Craig, and son AJ.


Crossing the finish line!!!


And as you can see, we all survived! Lisa and AJ finished in 37:03 and Craig finished between us. He's a runner and he was helping us keep a steady pace.

NEVER did I think I was going to finish in under 40 minutes, I can't tell you HOW excited I am. I will never forget this Thanksgiving! I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday filled with family and friends and special memories.

***EDIT*** Official results are in, my chip time was 37:01!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSET491 11/29/2012 8:34PM

    Great job on your race~my goal is to finish under 40 someday!! You look wonderful in your after race picture~don't you just love the "glow"!!
Rose

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ADVENTURESEEKER 11/29/2012 7:55PM

    That is awesome!

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CLPURNELL 11/28/2012 7:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

You continue to be such a super inspiration for me you have done such a phenomenal job and I COULD NOT be happier for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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SAINTBETH 11/28/2012 12:17PM

    Good for you! Your before and after pics are awesome!

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RECREATING_ME 11/27/2012 9:10PM

    emoticon That is awesome, Holly! You really are an inspiration for what can happen when you dedicate yourself. You just radiate energy in the picture after the event!

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ELLISH 11/27/2012 9:23AM

    I am coming after you!!! ;) Thing is...(right now), I can't catch up! LOL. . . . . . but I got something to shoot for! ;)

WTG!! Hollister!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon ........ emoticon !!!!!!!

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GODIVADSG 11/26/2012 11:27AM

    Awesome job Holly!! It is so rewarding when all that practice pays off!! Way to move!!! emoticon

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 11/26/2012 9:35AM

    Woo Hoo!!! How exciting, Holly! That is some serious incentive to reach your next goal. Way to go, girl!

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ENDERLI 11/26/2012 7:33AM

    YOU are as FAST as Lightening!!!!!
WOWZA!
So proud of you Holly! So Happy for you as I'm sure it feels amazing!
You are awesomesauce!!!!!
Happy 2012 Thanksgiving to you!
xo

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KIBAISREADY 11/25/2012 3:19AM

    Get it g emoticon emoticon emoticon irl!

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DIANER2014 11/24/2012 9:58PM

    Great time! You did awesome! emoticon emoticon

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MUSICALLYMINDED 11/24/2012 9:50PM

    GREAT time! You should be very proud of yourself!

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NAYKNITS 11/24/2012 8:19PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

you should be soooo proud of yourself!!! you have accomplished so much & I'm inspired by YOU!! Way to slog girl!!! =)

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ILOVEMALI 11/24/2012 6:22PM

    Good for you!!! You are quite amazing -- I hope that you know this!

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KARENDEE4 11/24/2012 10:43AM

    Love it!!

You look great as usual.

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REMEMBER2BME 11/24/2012 7:41AM

    Killer job on the run and all around. You have obviously accomplished a great deal!!!
emoticon

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MAMADWARF 11/23/2012 10:09PM

    Holly, as always, you leave me proud and amazed! You rock!

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2BEABETTERME 11/23/2012 3:54PM

    Yeah you! Way to rock it!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SCOUTMOM715 11/23/2012 2:53PM

    emoticon Holly!! You rock!

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CHSHULER89 11/23/2012 1:16PM

    So happy for you and your family!! You are awesome and amazing!! Happy tears and hugs for you!! emoticon

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MICHELLESMILES_ 11/23/2012 9:21AM

    You're a rock star and I am so proud of you!

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BE-THE-CHANGE 11/23/2012 7:30AM

    You are awesome!
emoticon emoticon

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LIBELULITA 11/23/2012 5:45AM

    I'm so proud of your achievement and thrilled for all the positive changes it's made to your life. You look so happy and vital in your photos....through all the ups and downs it's all been worth it hasn't it? emoticon emoticon

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NUOVAELLE 11/23/2012 1:49AM

    Congratulations! That's a great time!
You've achieved an incredible transformation to yourself and your life. Keep inspiring!
emoticon

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FUSIONFITNESS3 11/23/2012 1:06AM

    What exciting news! WooHooooo!!!! for sure.
You're an inspiration to me.

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KTISFOCUSED 11/22/2012 8:43PM

    Woo hoo! Congratulations!!!

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BLUE42DOWN 11/22/2012 7:11PM

    emoticon

What a fantastic improvement in so many ways!

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HOLLYBELLE77 11/22/2012 6:35PM

    Awesome job! Happy Thanksgiving! emoticon

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YESCURLYCAN 11/22/2012 4:15PM

  Yes!! Holly, they should it from the turkey trot to the Holly Run! I am so happy for you and emoticon on your incredible success. Spark on friend cause you are on fire.

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CHARTHESTAR 11/22/2012 2:47PM

    That is totally awesome!
You look great and super happy!

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CITYDWELLERS72 11/22/2012 2:23PM

    Oh my Holly congratulations!! What a great treat for the day!!! You look amazing!! emoticon

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FIZZYBALL 11/22/2012 2:01PM

    That's incredible. Great time. You look amazing.

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KANOE10 11/22/2012 1:36PM

    Way to go on the new healthy you. emoticon

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MISSB8604 11/22/2012 1:16PM

    Nicely done!!!!!!!!!!

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POOKASLUAGH 11/22/2012 1:03PM

    Woohoo!!!!!!! This is absolutely fantastic Holly! I'm so happy for you!

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PEZMOM1 11/22/2012 12:47PM

    emoticon

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SPIRALDOWN 11/22/2012 12:26PM

    Great job... You are amazing!

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MOONBIRD 11/22/2012 12:19PM

    Yay! You did awesome! I am so proud of you and for keeping at your running. You're amazing. Have a great Thanksgiving!

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