Thursday, September 23, 2010
Okay.... so where to start. I have lost 99lbs so far. I used to weight 240lbs. It has taken me two years to lose this much weight. I am not done yet. My whole life has changed.
But this isn't really about me today... I'm writing because I came home from the hospital today and cried. You see, my father is overweight and he developed diabetes about 10 years ago. I have always known him to be heavy... about 350lbs I would guess. He drinks, he smokes, he eats. That is my dad. He has never tried to take care of himself. Ever. He was diagnosed with kidney failure a year and a half ago. He now has a catheter going into his heart and hanging out of his chest for his daily dialysis (blood cleaning). He needed me to drive him to the hospital this morning because he had surgery on his eye yesterday. They were cutting out the bleeding veins that wouldn't stop and were making him blind. This is actually a "normal" side effect of being diabetic. We all know that type II diabetes is by and large caused by lifestyle. Ergo... he is making himself blind.
Now... my husband... (God, how I wish the whole, "you marry your father thing" were just a saying right now), is also overweight and has high blood pressure. Thankfully he is free of the vices of smoking and drinking but not the eating. He was put on a CPAP (continuous positive air pressure) machine three years ago for sleep apnea (caused from being too heavy). Now in the last few months his doctor has put him on high blood pressure medication with orders to LOSE WEIGHT! No dice. He won't track his food. He won't exercise. He won't listen. He sees what my dad is going through. He sees what I am going through. He isn't changing his behavior.
My friend at my children's school was talking to me yesterday about how her husband was giving her slack about her poor eating habits. She too is overweight. She was telling me that she doesn't smoke, or drink or really have any vice whatsoever except for her food. She told me she wasn't going to give it up for anything. She has three young children. Yesterday I had nothing to say to her about what she was telling me. Today I told her that I had just come from the hospital and that perhaps she should change her eating habits because she likes her vision more than her food.
My husband thinks I'm the asshole for saying that to her. The truth is I think she is fabulous and I am worried about her health. For her and for her babies. If I didn't care about her I wouldn't have bothered saying anything.
So... bad habits to the left of me, bad habits to the right... here I am stuck in the middle with you. What to do? I feel as though I am losing my mind. I am watching the people I love and like eat away their good health. Just cover up that good health in a big fat piece of fudge sauce. I love fudge sauce. Not more than my eyes though.
Not everyone is as "lucky" as me to have the wake up call from watching someone else go through hell. Some people don't even have the wake up call when the doctor brings out his prescription pad. Please.... LISTEN. Take control of your eating. What we eat determines how healthy we are.... it truly really does and no one can put down the cheesecake and pick up the salad but YOU! Read inspiring books... join a running club. Do something. Please. Even if you don't care, I bet there are people who love you who will be hurting when (WHEN not IF) you get sick.
Yes I know you can't make someone change but by God I have to try. I can't sit by and watch people I love hurt themselves when there is another way. It's not even THAT hard... sure there are days that seem impossible but those are followed by days that can be really great. TRY... Please just try. Forgive yourself when you mess up and then TRY again.