Friday, April 06, 2012
So, it's Good Friday and I'm at home with nothing super-important to do. I've already done some laundry, vacuuming and tidying, all while my TV is on in the background. For some reason I associate daytime TV with relaxation and luxury... I mean, most people who are able to watch daytime TV aren't working (I know some might be shift workers, but most are not). My mom was a stay-at-home mom and I was always jealous that she could watch Oprah... even if she had errands to run or something, she could do them according to her own schedule if something cool was on. Daytime TV was definitely a luxury.
Today I have a normal 8-4 job, so I have very few opportunities to watch daytime TV. Sometimes I catch a show or two when I'm home sick, but often I'm too sick to pay much attention to the TV. I turned on the TV at 1:00 pm and caught the early feed of The Chew. Wow... all food, all the time. And unlike say, Top Chef, where there's an element of creativity and intelligence and energy, The Chew was a bunch of people who seemed to hate one another rolling their eyes at the stupid segments they were being forced to present. Cut to the commercial break, which was food, food, food and more food. Seriously, I saw a commercial for Twizzlers that said something like, "From the cinema to your favorite television shows, make Twizzlers your entertainment snack every day." EVERY DAY? TWIZZLERS EVERY DAY? I think I gained five pounds just watching that commercial.
What's on next? I have a choice: Dr. Oz or The Revolution. The Revolution is totally new to me, and I lasted about thirty seconds. That guy from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition who got charged with drunk driving was learning to do partner squats while wearing dark jeans and a button-down top. Ummm, whatever. So I flip to Dr. Oz, where Rosie O'Donnell is making excuses for her poor lifestyle choices. And Dr. Oz isn't calling her on her bull. We're twenty-three minutes into the show and it's been nothing but "fatsplaining" (yes, I just invented a new word), with no suggestions from Dr. Oz or anyone else as to how Rosie could get healthy while dealing with her obviously deep-rooted issues. Ooooh, let's see some commercials on Dr. Oz! Toothpaste, that's not so bad. You'll need it after eating those Twizzlers every day. Laundry detergent, then Victoria's Secret! Maybe if I watch more Dr. Oz I'll look more like Candace Swanepoel! BLT pizza at Panago? It's practically salad! Vacuum cleaners. Two commercials for charities. I'm going to flip back to The Revolution... oh, it's still Ty, wearing jeans and a button-down shirt AND a vest AND a tie (missed that before) doing sit-ups with a medicine ball.
Good news! At 3:00 I'll be able to tune in to "The Doctors", where they're sharing "Secrets to Look & Feel Better Naked", which the guide says will include "Sex, breast-enhancement and weight-loss advice." Fantastic! I was worried I wouldn't get any breast-enhancement advice today!
Never before have I been so glad that most weekdays I'm at work, working. Not just making money, but interacting with other people, learning new things, moving around, taking on challenges and having some fun. If I had the luxury of not working, I would hope I had something better to do than tune into these shows: taking a class, volunteering, meeting friends for tea and a walk in the park... pretty much anything other than "tips for changing your body image" and "Rosie O'Donnell on diet, nutrition and exercise".
I'm actually going to turn off the TV right now and do a little at-home workout. I'm going to need to work out a lot more if I'm going to order that BLT pizza tonight!