HILLRUNNER   105,643
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

It's time for another entry here. Not sure what to write, just know that I'm wanting to see some results. Oh yeah, I have been having some lax days and I don't like that. The routine has been broken with the events of the past two weeks.

It's so much easier to keep a ball moving then it is to get it started. So it is with sitting down here and logging the food, putting in the entries to various threads and doing what I know will help me to keep accountable.

I struggle at times. I resist. I want to do things an easier softer way. MMMMmmm, that might sound good, but it won't work! I know that and the little voice in my head is now screaming in agreement. YOU HAVE TRIED THAT!!! Yep, that path avails me NOTHING!

So what to do? Pick me up, put pen in hand, and write. Write about what is going on with my emotions, my life, my food, my resistance. My wanting so much to see lower numbers on the scale, and faster, consistent, and further numbers for my running. I'm just a short 3 weeks from starting marathon training and time to get my head around what I want to accomplish.

It's so easy to talk the talk.....but it's the consistency of day in and day out that I'm grasping to get back to. Time to just look at today, not what went before and not what awaits. NOW is all I have so that is where I will be. TODAY I can write my food in here, TODAY I can go for a run with the ladies, TODAY I can stick to what I plan. That's enough of a goal. That's all I want to focus on.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TLB513 6/25/2008 8:32AM

    I agree with all the comments here!

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BUFFEDSTUFF 6/24/2008 10:47PM

  ah if only their was a magical wand. One step at a time my friend, one step at a time. Keep slaying those dragons emoticon

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    Mary you ARE a marathon RUNNER...that alone show more fortitude, dedication, motivation, perseverance and determination...those things do not show as a gain or loss on the scale...but when used with all the information you have, it will get you to your goal...the same way it got you across the first, second and third finish lines!!! You are a WARRIOR!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Jackie!!! emoticon

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JILLWILSON2102 6/24/2008 8:58AM

    and Today is the day we tell you we love you...Today, Mary, is all that counts. Jill emoticon

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For Geoffrey....A Tribute

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

There are times when pain reaches out, grabs, and holds fast, not letting go of it's grasp until we are left a crumbled wreck. This is how I have been feeling these past days. My heart has been broken, my daily routine has altered, and I feel empty.

Oh I know this will ease, as that is what acceptance brings, but for today, I am not there. I am getting closer but it will take time.

What has brought this on is the heart wrenching loss of our beloved 14 year old dog, Geoffrey. His registered name is: Minarets Reach For The Stars. (Geoffrey).

Geoffrey, along with our other dog went in to the vet for a routine dental cleaning which resulted in the removal of six teeth, and clean and polish.
Geoffrey was 14yrs old on June 8th 2008. He was in good health despite signs of arthritis in his back legs which resulted in some difficulty whilst climbing stairs.

When we went upstairs at the vet's practice to collect both Geoffrey and Mozart my husband could not understand why he did not greet him, and could not walk unaided down the stairs to reception.

When we arrived home Geoffrey appeared to be confused and disorientated. He attempted to find his way to his water bowl and with my assistance he desperately tried to drink. He couldn't’t lap the water in his usual way, but almost was trying to slide it down his throat. After which he just stood with his nose against the wall, appearing to not know where to go next. I was alarmed and carried him back to the main room. My husband and I thought perhaps this was the effect of the drugs that had been administered to him. However when his breathing became erratic we decided to contact the vet and bring him back to the health centre.
After Geoffrey was looked at in the examination room he was taken upstairs and oxygen was administered as well as an injection. He did seem to respond and his breathing regulated and although still shaky on his legs he could stand.

We were then escorted outside and the office staff locked the external doors. While on the car park, we were told me that we could either take Geoffrey home, or drive to an all night clinic over 20 miles away where he would be taken care of.

What is so difficult is how could it be missed that Geoffrey's condition needed further attention right away. Having paid our fee we were allowed to take Geoffrey home. When we did arrive home everything deteriorated rapidly, Geoffrey was walking into walls, when we let him outside he fell over a plant pot, could not find his water, and our conclusion was that he was totally blind. I cradled him in my arms and could see that he was hurting and it was so distressing.

The ripple effect this has caused has affected many people who knew and loved Geoffrey. We decided we had no other option but to take the risk and drive Geoffrey to the 24 hr vet office. This was in itself an ordeal as he cried the whole way.

The Vet told me that he would do whatever we wanted, that Geoffrey hardly had a pulse. We told him to do whatever he could for him. Geoffrey was placed on a drip, and given oxygen. The vet told us to phone again at 7am, and that if anything happened in the night he would contact us. We could not sleep and at 2.30am we received the phone call that Geoffrey’s heart could not take anymore and that he had passed away. When we went to collect him, Geoffrey at last looked at peace. He has been buried with great love at my in-law's house.

Time cannot be measured in situations such as this. I feel at such a loss, our house is stagnant without the love and happiness that Geoffrey brought to it. Mozart and Millie, our cat, are bewildered.

Geoffrey was a dog that was a “gentleman”. So polite, so intelligent and so loyal! My husband has said many times to the breeder where he bought Geoffrey, “if people were as kind and as understanding as Geoffrey, we would live in a much, much better world.”
Geoffrey taught us many things that we will forever hold close such as; gentleness, poise, love, loyalty, trust, joy. He was an education in love, pure and unconditional! We know Geoffrey was growing old. Yet he still bounded and played.

So I say thank you Geoffrey for the life you lived, the 14 years you blessed my husband's life, the 7 years I knew you and the adventures we had together. Thank you for the kisses, the joy, the times you would move so I could sit on the couch, the love you gave to me and that which you allowed me to give in return and so many other things. I am a better person for having the privilege of caring for you. May your spirit and memory always continue to grace our lives. You are deeply and sadly missed.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATHISMOM 7/3/2008 9:08AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. Please trust in the knowledge that you did everything you could for him and that he had a wonderful, wonderful life with you.

I am supposing you know the poem, Rainbow Bridge? If not, google it, but have a box of kleenex handy for the tears.

I look forward to the day when I cross the bridge and see all my many, many old friends once again.
I'm sure they are making Geoffrey welcome.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KRISSYMAC 6/20/2008 9:16AM

    My thoughts go out to you and your husband, Mary...may all the wonderful memories with Geoffrey comfort you. ((hugs))

Comment edited on: 6/20/2008 9:15:07 AM

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RAIDERMOM2277 6/18/2008 5:13PM

My heart goes out to you. Geoffrey sounds like he was a wonderful companion.

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CRAIGLI00 6/18/2008 3:00PM

    This is a beautiful blog that has me in tears. I am so sorry for your loss and happy that you had such a wonderful experience with a beautiful dog. I hope you can find peace soon.

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    emoticon !!! I am praying the sadness you are feeling will be lifted soon and you will only be left with happy memories!!! emoticon

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LILYPEARL 6/18/2008 12:51PM

    Mary, my deepest sympathies to you and your family. Geoffrey was given a loving and caring home throughout his life. He was so lucky.

I too have lost furry family members throughout the years. I know it seems harder when it is unexpected. May God bring you comfort.


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BARBIET65 6/18/2008 12:06PM

    Oh Mary!
You have my deepest sympathy! My heart goes out to you and your husband! Pets are our family too!
God Bless Him!

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JILLWILSON2102 6/18/2008 10:08AM

    Mary,Mary. As we pet lovers can all attest, the unconditional love our pets give us is unique in all the world. My heart goes out to you. God Bless. Jill

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SANDYC17 6/18/2008 8:14AM

My sincere condolences to you and your husband for your loss. I am sure you and your husband gave Geoffrey a wonderful happy life and he gave you both the same in return. My thoughts are with you.

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NEWDAYNEWWAY75 6/18/2008 7:47AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can so relate to what you must be feeling right now. A little over a year ago I took my beloved companion of 10 years to the vet for a routine teeth cleaning, only to receive a call a few hours later telling me he (my cat) had died during surgery.

I still have bouts of crying when thinking about him.

It sounds as though you and your family gave Geoffrey a good and loving home, and that he had a good life.

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SPARK_COACH_JEN 6/18/2008 6:37AM

    Hi Mary

Reading your blog entry broke my heart b/c I know what it's like to lose a companion like that who you loved so much. My sympathies to you and your family!

Coach Jen

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Think Like A Champion

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I want to thank Buffed Stuffed for the quote from Muhammad Ali: "Suffer Now and live the rest of your life a champion" and her call to “Release your Inner Champion”.

It was a call that I needed to hear. Too often I don’t think like a champion, too often I treat myself with a lukewarm mindset and am just happy with average. But am I average?

Do I deserve to think like a Champion? I say a resounding YES! But how does a champion think? What goes on in their mind? Maybe I can use the some of the words from a song that Paula Radcliff, the world record holder for female Marathon distance, has said that she plays before her races.

I am a mountain, I am a tall tree, I am a swift wind sweepin' the country
I am a river down in the valley. I am a vision and I can see clearly
If anybody asks u who I am just stand up tall look 'em in the face and say
I'm that star up in the sky. I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey, I made it, I’m the world’s greatest
I'm that little bit of hope when my backs against the ropes
I can feel it I'm the world’s greatest

I am a giant. I am an eagle. I am a lion down in the jungle.
I am a marchin' band, I am the people. I am a helpin' hand, and I am a hero.
If anybody asks u who I am
Just stand up tall look 'em in the Face and say.....

In the ring of life I'll reign love and the world will notice a king
When all is darkest, I'll shine a light and use a success you'll find in me
I saw the light at the end of a tunnel
Believe in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
And faith was right there to pull me through, yeah
Used to be locked doors now I can just walk on through
Hey, uh, hey, hey, hey It's the greatest.

Since my mindset is not usually one of a champion the key words used in this song give me an idea what a champion might think. They are strong words, powerful, self- affirming words.


Just prefacing these words with “I AM...” can alter my posture, it can cause me to stand a bit straighter, hold my chin a bit higher and smile a bit broader. Those simple, yet powerful words can cause me to take better care of me. Yes, I am working on releasing my “Inner Champion” and to see what I can become. I will see the light and the end of the tunnel and believe and unlock the doors in-front of me.

To help me alter my thinking I have taken each of these words and put them on separate cards. Each day I will pick a different card and that will be my daily mantra. Slowly, I will develop, and see what it is like to think like a champion!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUFFEDSTUFF 5/28/2008 10:38PM

  Oh how I wish You could borrow my eyes for a moment and see yourself for the champion you really are. All you have to do is walk in it. Look at you, you are a strong, woman who hasn't realized her own value yet.

When you race you feel the power, you connect with the real you the champion. Learn to celebrate yourself my friend.
because you are what you are....a champion,never deny it just flow with it emoticon
now stop sabatoging yourself and give it your best.

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    Inspiring as always !!! Thanks for the post and the wake up call!!! I will take these words with me on my next run!!! Jackie!!! emoticon

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The Best Laid Plans

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

I’ve wanted to get a new entry here and today I’m finally getting around to it.
Planning to do things is something that is not natural to me. I’m not a born organizer. It is work for me to get things accomplished without going out on a tangent. (Finding other things that need my attention when I wanted to complete the task at hand. Guess that would be “sidetracked”)

There are however times when I set forward a task and complete it. It does make me feel good. Here are my goals for May:
1. Run 125 miles for the month
2. Plan my food and Eat Clean
3. Weigh 3 pounds less than I did at the start of the month
4. Have half the work completed on the current cross stitch gift
5. Present at least 2 talks to employees
6. Keep using the flylady website and control journal to be organized around the house

I have taken the time to prepare my running calendar for the summer and then into marathon training. I have already outlined the races I want to compete in during my training. This helps me to feel organized, when I feel organized I feel less stressed. When I am less stressed the world is a better place.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRHAMRICK 5/7/2008 11:31AM

    Sounds like some great plans to me, Mary. I'm hoping to plan some races and related-training myself. I even sent you a sparkmail requesting your advice.... Coach!


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Again...and again...and again....and

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

It's been over a week since I've been back from London. The glow of the day, the event, the accomplishment is now logged in my memory. To be brought out at any time I wish. But, I'm not about to stand still and just look at the pictures, the medal, or my race number.

It's time to move..to literally put one foot in front of the other, and do it again and again and again. Yesterday I took my first post marathon run around these well trod local hilly roads and how they reminded me I had been away from them for too long! London was just 9 days ago and it is a pretty flat course. This is where I live and train and it is NOT flat!

So I have brought back out my monthly calendars, planned how many miles to do this week. Looked ahead to the 10K on May 11 (Mother's Day over there in the USA) and the training I need to get on these legs before heading down to Liverpool.

It's what I do, I run. It's not a hobby, or a pastime, or a lose weight plan, nope, it is my lifestyle. It is what I have become... a runner. And I will get out there, again, and again ..and again...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LANC92 4/28/2008 11:42AM

    I happened on your page through one of those crazy Spark surfing moments... so glad I did. I love how you say, "It's what I do, I run. It's not a hobby, or a pastime, or a lose weight plan, nope, it is my lifestyle. It is what I have become... a runner." That's exactly now I feel as well. I also read your race report and you have instilled new hope in me that I just might make the 4 :45 time I'm looking for. Just keep running!

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BARBIET65 4/24/2008 7:08AM

    Its your HIGH girl!!!

You do it! And do it forvever!!!!

Its WHO you are now!!!


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