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All or nothing

Saturday, July 14, 2007

It's another wet, windy morning. Supposed to be summer, but I think it looks more like March or April. I can see the clouds moving quickly past and they look low. I'm thinking...do I REALLY want to go out in that? Don't I want to stay inside instead? I could crawl back into bed, take a nice nap and just do a by on the run.

See, that's my all or nothing attitude. I planned to run 10 miles for my long run. Looking out at the skies I am making up all kinds of excuses of why 10 miles is NOT a good number on a wet, rainy, wind blown day like today. The list of why not to run is getting to about my elbow, when my husband's voice nudges me out of my self indulgent attitude. He simply says, "why don't you just run less miles?" Geezeee...that is such a simple thought. Why didn't I think of that.

Because, I was in do the 10 or nothing mind set. I was focusing on all or not at all! Now what would be my reason to not get out there!? Nothing. I agreed with him, saw the wisdom in it and put aside mental elbow long list, and laced up.

I'm really glad that I did get out there. The rain had stopped, the wind was still brisk, but felt good, and the run went well. Along my route I came upon 2 other women who I had spoken with about a year ago out on another run. We were going in opposite directions but we stopped to talk. They had been in the Preston 10K on Sunday and remembered me from that and our previous run/talk. It was great learning that they both had run the London UK Marathon in April, were now both club members/committee members and were planning more races. It was like talking with old school mates after years of not seeing them. We were all running the same loop this morning and would pass again later on but we said we would just keep on running as to keep our momentum going.

If I had crawled back to sleep this morning I would have missed a wonderful chance encounter with two other running women. If I had kept that all 10 miles or no miles attitude I would have missed out on the 600 calorie expenditure, the feel good buzz feeling I still have hours after finishing and all that I saw and mentally captured while out on the road.

I'm glad I got out there and ran today.. I just feel better for it.


"It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are."

Thursday, July 12, 2007

e.e. cummings had it right. How easy it is to not become who we really can be. I could be what some one else wants me to be. I could be something that I end up being because I am afraid to be what I really want to be.

I think both of those have happened to me in the past. Not letting the true me show and just evolve into what I thought someone else would be happy me being.
Also, just the fear girpping hold of "what if" and just remaining as is..and not letting the whatever I can be emerge.

Today I am who I really am. I have grown up, I've become the person I am meant to be.. but I am not finshed, the process is still going on. Each day I become more and more what I am supposed to be. There is always something to go through, something to deal with. I don't know how I will deal with something until it has happened.
And so the I go on and on...becoming

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARBCHAN 7/12/2007 8:00PM

    Truer words have not been spoken! Good for you!

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strong and active

Thursday, July 12, 2007

That is what I have become....I AM A STRONG AND ACTIVE WOMAN!
WOW...just saying that brings strength and a real sense of postiveness.
It wasn't all ways like that...nope...I had lots of other words to discribe myself and those two weren't in the list.

So what has changed? Me... and how I see me has changed. I have grabed life and now am squeezing it like an orange...getting every drop out of it and then even eating the white stuff on the inside of the peel. Not letting anything go to waste. Using one of those little contraptions that peel the rind to use the zest for added flavour. And then when nothing is left but the scraps....I'm thinking what I could do with those? Hmmm..a smoothie maybe??

That is all a medifor for life itself...to look around, see what can be done and then giving everything to do it. Not leaving something undone. If there is something left....go and re-examine the activity and get even more out of it. Then I can look and what I have accieved and say.. "I HAVE given it my all!"


then there is stress

Friday, July 06, 2007

There is stress.... and THEN there is STRESS!!

Ok...I'm one day on from what I would consider the most stress filled day I have experienced in a long time. I'm still reeling from the news of my hubby's back fracture. (compression fracture) Yes, ok.. I did break down a bit on the phone when he told me. a bit worse after I hung up. Fear, the unknown, why..all that just flooded in.
Thankfully we have the answer to the pain issue. We can move forward. We know what to do to make it better and what meds to take...and on and on. It's the dealing with the mental side of it. Of nodding and saying it will be ok, and we will work together through it.
But it still is there. The realization of how fragile we all truly are. How a bone can give way from not even a fall, from perhaps a bit too much exercise. WOW.
There are so many reasons to take care of this magical marvelous thing called our bodies. They can wear out, they can break, they can stop working. The goal is to keep them going in wonderful condition for as long as possible.
I'm thankful to the Chiropracter that had the smarts to do the x-ray and not just perscribe another round of pain killers and say it will be ok without truly knowing what the situation entailed.
SO what about Me and how this is effecting me....I'm keeping busy, focusing on my health issues, not eating over it, although the Peanut Butter has been yelling a bit at me. (I just close the cupboard door and walk away..it does muffle the cat call a little) The weather has affected my outside running, but I WILL get out there today even if it is for a short run. I need it. So I do good things for me...and be here for my husband.


Even though...

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I felt like I wanted to just scream, I didn't. I coped as best I could with crazy situations that were beyond my control. I can't do anything about something that is not within my power to change. It's called acceptance.

That is not an easy thing to practice when you really really want to just roll up the sleeves and step into the fray and make it all work out ok. Nope, there are matters, people, principles, situations etc, that I can't do a thing aout.

Then what is it I can do...I can work on me. Take a nap. Close my eyes and just regulate my breathing. Doodle. Watch the little wild birds scurry around under the trees while it's raining....and on and on. All of these I did while coping with the stuation beyond my control.

Also, to get that fresh air I so needed...the pups got a great long walk. We did get wet a bit, but hey, made the air even sweeter. I was relaxed, renewed and refreshed. Just what I needed.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNE7777 7/3/2007 8:53PM

    Mary--Love reading your words. You are always so interesting and inspiring. You mean a lot to me. I will be toasting you on our Fourth over here! Cheers!! Anne

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