Monday, January 31, 2011
Time to grade myself. And let me just say, I'm grading myself HARD this month.
1. Beat my "no pop" record (of 42 days). Grade: F. A big fat effing F on that one. Now that's not to say I've completely given up on this challenge/goal but I didn't reach it during the month of January. As I type this I'm on day 8. Yes, that means I've collapsed on this goal a few different times during the month. I'm not going to make excuses (though I have one valid one). I'm just going to accept that this goal kicked my ass this month and keep trying on it. What else can I do?
2. Widdle away the next 20 lbs. Grade: D. (maybe a C-). Why so harsh? Well, for the entire month I only shed ONE MEASILY POUND. How freaking pathetic is THAT!? At this break neck speed *sarcasm* it will only take me a mere FOUR YEARS to reach my "goal" weight (meaning I'd be "normal" by BMI standards). How's that for discouraging? Yeah, a real kick in the crotch. All negativity aside, I did have one week where I lost exactly two pounds. But by the time the last Official Weight Day (yesterday) came around I had gluttonously eaten up one of those pounds. That's what hogs do, folks, eat stuff up.
3. Continue calorie cycling and tracking. Grade: C (maybe a B-). I have been religiously writing it all down, even when I go hog wild (and eat over the range--hell, even over the "maintenance" range on more than one ocassion). So I didn't fully fail this one, it was more of gleefully giving it the finger while shoveling snacks into my fat maw (yes, one evening I deliberately ate three cookies even though I knew damn well I didn't have the calories to cover them--and I willfully chose not to exercise).
Challenge: Grade: B I did the best at the lame waste of time challenge this month. I have mixed up my exercise routine adding in the kickboxing dvd and Bob's Workout dvd. And Saturday I managed to work out 3 hours straight (kickboxing for about an hour, Bob's cardio dvd, Bob's yoga). I think I just wanted to prove I could (and kind of scold myself for being such a waste case the week before).
I know, this isn't inpirational or motivational or any of that happy rainbows flying out of your ass crap that the Spark-bots are all about. But know what? Sometimes there just isn't any joy in Mudville. It's just mud. But as long as I keep slogging along maybe I'll eventually get there. Or I'll be committed to an asylum. I mean, isn't that the definition of "crazy": doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?
So, this crazy ass is going to think up some goals and challenges for February. I'm going to keep going until the men with the butterfly nets finally catch me.