Tuesday, September 07, 2010
This is tough, so much has happened since my last blog.... I will start by listing my goals for the next 12 weeks:
1- To get my new pedometer working! (needs a battery)
2- Drink 8 - 10 cups of water a day.
3- Use the nutrition tracker, stay in my recommended calorie range.
4- Move!!! I want to get back to 10,000 steps a day, pass 8 miles on my elliptical machine, complete the GOYB and GOYBD challenges....
5- Lose 25 lbs...
6- To get my numbers in line, (diabetic) I want to get to 6.5 to 7, and keep my blood sugars 70-120, then to be able to go OFF my meds, AGAIN!!!
7- To have my liver functions improve.
8- To be able to work more hours, and keep feeling better! To function better in All areas of my life! I stay busy, but to not have it be such a chore to get up or down! Little things like that are something we should never take for granted!
9- To wear a size below 20w, (I have some 18 jeans hanging around for incentive)
10- To feel life more, I have been so sick, it's been hard to see beyond the here and now. I am improving, and feel it's time to dive in and save my life!
* To get all of the hardware out of my left ankle... that is a story in itself! I cancelled the needed surgery that should have taken place Aug 14th, because of all of the overwhelming health issues I have been dealing with... it will be nice to not be in pain all of the time!*
I need to get below 220, for personal reasons; ok I will tell you, I haven't weighed that since I have had my baby... 22 years ago. Ouch, that hurt to admit! I have been known to say; as I am patting my belly...if I would just have this baby I would look so much better! It's real over due!!!
Then it will be the wonderful goal of getting to 199!!!!!!!!!! Then to take it 10 lbs at a time.
My big goal is to get at my healthy weight, and maintain it for a year, then treat myself to some much needed "body tucking"!! My Husband knows just how much I HATE my belly area, and has said he will make that happen, so, we will see!
It is scary, I have found that the thought of losing weight is uncomfortable, it sounds strange, but, to lose one's security blanket is freighting! I have never felt like this was me, I had never had to watch my weight when I was younger, with life happening; I subconsciously built a barrier, and need to like myself again!
So as my user name says it all....HEREWEGO!
Monday, June 08, 2009
WE all go through different highs and lows in our lives, I love to read about all of the people that have been successful with their weight loss. I go along so good for awhile, and I want this so badly, but then I hit a brick wall!!!! I do always do seem to get back on board again, and I think that is what is different this time with me getting healthy, and am not giving up! It's hard to not feel angry at times about all of the lost time being fat, and slipping off of my program, because it would come quicker if I would stay the course!!! It gets old losing the same 10-15 lbs over and over.... but I am continually going down at the Doctors office, that is one good thing!!! I asked a fellow Sparker once about what she felt about the 300 lb plus person she was...."she said, she loves her, and it's a reminder of where she was at, and incentive to stay where is is". I want to burn all of my "fat" pictures from the last 20 years, I hope to one day accept the person I let myself become, and love her too, maybe that is the key to being able to change!!! I love that there are so many people who can understand what I feel, and not judge me. This is a great place to vent, and come to grips with ourselves. That is needed to change! This picture is another one of my moments of, wow, look at what I have become......
Friday, February 20, 2009
This as follows, is the challenge, I felt I needed to put it exactly as it appears on our team thread....
DAILY CHALLENGE, JANUARY 20, 2009
None of us are able to travel this journey by ourselves. We need help along the way. But we don't always get that help from everybody. We all have saboteurs in our lives. Identify your biggest saboteur. Write a short letter to this saboteur telling them what you are trying to accomplish and why, how they can help you, and thank them for what they have done for you so far. BLOG it on your SparkPage.
I have given this so much thought, I think I pulled a muscle in my brain!! I can't think of anyone who is my biggest saboteur, other than, ME!!!
I have nothing to thank myself for, other than thanks for being willing to make the much needed efforts, to get to a healthier me.
I am at a difficult time now, and this challenge comes to me as that; a challenge, a BIG one!! I have become aware of what triggers me to eat out of control, sweets, excusing a holiday, or gathering, of a time to indulge, and self medicating. It sure hasn't worked for me in the past, now I am aware of it, and shame on me if I don't do anything with that knowledge!!
What I am trying to accomplish:
1-Get healthier, be able to play with my Granddaughter, (and future Grand kids), feel good about myself, get off of more medications, have the confidence I have lacked, to enjoy my relationship fully with my Husband, let ME come back;..... in public! I loved to dance, dress fun, and embrace life!
2-Lose the rest of the 140 lbs I started out with.
3-Learn portions, calories, self control, motivation.
4-To physically feel good, and get back my love of exercise.
5-Not be the FAT Mom when my Daughter gets married!
6-Get back the feeling of validation that comes with self confidence!!
7-Wear skinny jeans, own the boots I have always wanted, tuck my shirt in, get into that size 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8-Put my resume out to work movies again (doing hair), I have loved my experiences doing that!!
9-Get the book compiled I have wanted to write!
10-To get through my bucket list!
This is a heartfelt letter to, ME! When it comes down to it, I ultimately am the one who has the responsibility to take control of my life. Yes things have happened to cause me to get where I have been, but I can choose to stay there, and roll around in the misery, or get up and step forward, learn from the past, and get to a better place in life! I have the choice to be a victim, or prevail over adversity, and I chose to divide and concur!!
Sincerely, My ex- Saboteur, Jill
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I am wanting to fulfill all of my assignments for this challenge. I don't even know if this is the correct place to do my BLOG for the assignment, but I don't know where else to do one....so here I am!
This challenge is hard, but, I am learning so much about myself along the way. I know with this knowledge it will be possible to keep off the weight, because of the awareness I have brought into my life. It was mindless eating, and not moving enough that got me here to begin with. Accountability is a good thing, and I don't mind for the first time since I have been overweight, answering to others. I feel this is impart from, the understanding that other Sparkpeople have shown me, and I don't feel defensive or belittled. It helps having the same goals, wither it is to lose over 100 lbs. or take off 10 lbs. It is all hard, and challenging.
I am experiencing some depression of sorts right now, but it doesn't worry me, for I know how to get myself out of this, and doing positive things for me is the best thing for it.
I will have a loss for my 1st weigh in this week, but I need to step it up quite a lot to succeed at my goals for the challenge.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
I feel excited, scared, intimated, confident, wow so many emotions!! It's a New Year, and I want to be done with my weight loss goal this year, and working on maintaining my healthier body and mind, next year at this time!!
One of my biggest obstacles is: the intricate working of the computer, and feeling self assured that I am doing it correctly! Of course there is the; whole lose 30 lbs. in 12 weeks thing; and all........ I know to accomplish this I will need to move a lot more, and watch everything that goes into my mouth!! There are so many rules, and I want to accomplish my goal in the worst way!! Heck, I did my 1st cut-copy-paste tonight!! Now to do it again, we will see....
So, here is to putting myself out there even more, and facing a challenge that will be very good for me, failure is not a option!! I have done this in phases, and as I have felt in a comfort zone, I shake it up, and add even more. This is huge for me, and I am so happy to have sparkfriends for that added support!!
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