Saturday, November 02, 2013
I don't know what the female equivalent of 'chappie' is. Even if I did, I bet it wouldn't rhyme.
The odd cloud of happiness and wellbeing I have been floating on is STILL beneath my feet. I'm sticking to my workout and nutritional goals perfectly, the creative juices are flowing for work, and my hair is looking very shiny. So I'm not going to question it...simply keep going!
Even my Halloween/Autumnal baking day was successful. I made my first ever pumpkin pie, which I am ecstatically proud of. Of course, to get anyone to eat it, there had to be a chocolate element, but I'm still counting it as a success! Reactions to said monumental pumpkin pie ranged from:
"If it's got chocolate on, I'll give it a go."
"Pumpkin...is that like...healthy or not a fruit?" and my personal favourite,
"Aren't pumpkins just...decorations? You can't eat them...can you?"
Either way, success. And apparently, quite educational!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Today, my status tells you that 'Helzie is content'. This is possibly the most accurate status posting of my health related mood I have ever written, and to be honest, I'm pretty proud of it.
Nothing out of the ordinary, hold-the-phone,'step back you're dancing kind of close' has occurred, and yet for some reason, I feel like I have started a fresh new chapter in my mind-one I didn't even know I was looking to start.
This morning I woke up, and I had this sense that I'm not battling against myself to eat right, to work out, to make my goals stick anymore. They were there in front of me, and they felt pretty achievable...it's just common sense I have adapted over time. I know what I have to do and it's just clicked. I looked at the calendar and thought 'I can't believe that in a few months time (fingers crossed, avoiding ladders, spin around three times) I will be, for the first time ever, a healthy weight.'
I can't explain the sudden boost I had. It just crept up on me, a fresh injection of perseverance, confidence and an overwhelming feeling of "Everything is worth it". I suppose if I had to try and explain, I would tell you that I saw myself as a person, doing all the things I didn't think I could (whilst rocking a fantastic pair of jeans, of course!) And it was a great feeling.
Such a great feeling, in fact, that if I could bake it in a healthy muffinous form for everyone, I would. Instead, I can only send you this:
Finally I understand. Weightloss is not just cosmetic, it's not just for health. It's for the confidence that comes with every goal, the feeling of being on top of the world when you get there.
It's important to not give up, to start over daily if you want to, and however long the process, to keep going.
Sunday, October 06, 2013
It's taken me a while, but I've finished.
I have just deleted all previous blog entries.
While I will miss having a peek through occasionally, reading some truly lovely comments that I'm sure I didn't deserve and seeing how far I have come on this journey, the fact is that-although some days I don't feel like it!- I HAVE come a long way.
For those who have missed them, or those who contributed, I think I should thank you as you deserve for making Sparkpeople such a great place, and explain properly why I've spent nearly an hour erasing (I can hear the horrified whispers!) past blogs, and starting anew.
My first blogs were short, sporadic and just a few lines about a particular experience that happened to me, good or bad. Usually bad, because that was when I had the adrenaline rush of bravery that made me think "Somewhere on Sparkpeople, someone will understand this. Somewhere, someone will have an answer, or just sulk with me." And I was always right...I learnt that whatever I was feeling wasn't new, and I could grow with other people and take on a little piece of the world.
Other blogs were longer, a timely update of things going on in my life; a few lines of fun, information and hopefully a bit of comradeship. But what they all had in common is that although I haven't completely left that part of my journey behind, I feel like a fresh break is needed to keep going.
I didn't read all the blog entries-they date back years! But on the ones I did peruse, I found out quite a few things, including:
-The amount of times I write 'I'm sick!' or something akin to this is SHOCKING! Less so more recently, which I'm choosing to believe is a wonderful by-product of weight-health. So yes, as I have lost weight and become healthier, my overall sense of well-being has improved.
- I injure myself a lot. This number holds pretty steady, so perhaps you CAN'T lose clumsiness along with inches! Other things that don't change are the wiggle dance to get jeans on (slide left, bunny hop twice, heave, right shake, foot wiggle, squat and double shuffle), the fact that I still fear slipping back into emotional eating and worrying so much about pleasing others that I forget to do what is right for me...but I'm getting better at them. Especially the dance. It's going to be a trend, I can feel it!
-The harder I push myself, the less things bother me. Other peoples comments, feeling like a failure and worrying about things that are pretty much out of my control....what a waste of my time! This can mainly be summed up by: "You can lose all the weight you want, some people might still be catty, you'll still make questionable choices and some things just happen." The best thing to do is nod and accept it!
So while it seems like quite a bold action to delete an entire Sparkpeople past, it is, in my eyes, needed to form a better Sparkpeople future. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate every single comment or good thought that is or has ever been sent my way, and that I send them back to you a million fold with caramel swirls and 100's and 1000's, champagne, truffles, diamonds and balloons, all with cherries on top.
And a hug THIS BIG! (That's from one end of my garden to the other.)
Get An Email Alert Each Time HELZIE Posts