Wednesday, May 16, 2012
"Emotional Emptiness" reflection
"Emptiness has a way of demanding to be filled. And when I couldn't figure out how to fill what my heart was lacking, my stomach was more than willing to offer a few suggestions. Food became a comfort I could turn on and off like a faucet. It was filling. It was available. It became a pattern. And somehow, each time my heart felt a little empty, my stomach picked up on the cues and suggested I feed it instead."
This is so true for me. Unlike the author of "Made to Crave" I had a wonderful childhood with an intact family and supportive extended family. I don't remember when I started feeling empty at times, but it lately it is during the winter months. I have suffered with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) for quite a few years now. I've only recognized it as such in the last 4 years or so. It usually begins sometime in December and leaves sometime in May.
For the past 2 years, my doctor has had me on Cymbalta for it and for my fibromyalgia. One med for 2 issues. Gotta love that!!
I've learned a lot reading through the depression articles here on SP. I've learned a lot about myself and how I react to things. I've also learned that some daily exercise and healthy food is necessary for me to battle against SAD. A major victory I had this winter was NOT experiencing SAD. I give the victory to God!
I am learning to distinguish between physical hunger and emotional trigger hunger and have techniques to battle the emotional hunger feelings---prayer, a walk, gardening, sitting outside and listening to and watching the birds, analyzing what's truly going on.
I still battle emotional eating during PMS when it feel like something else has control over my thoughts and emotions. I continue to work to give that battle to the LORD. Some have lovingly suggested I have my hormones checked as I am 47yo. I do need to do that and will some time.......
Right now, I feel full emotionally. More emotionally healthy than I've been in 2-3 years. I give God the glory!
EDITING TO ADD
One comment of Lysa's has been going through my head over the past 20 hours or so, so I am going to add it. It dawned on me this morning that has been a major part of my fight against SAD....
"...parking my mind in a better spot." "It's so easy to park our minds in bad spots. To dwell and rehash and wish things were different. But to think on hard things keeps us in hard spots and only serves to deepen our feeling of emotional emptiness. This is where pity parties are held and we all know pity parties demand an abundance of high-calorie delights eaten and eaten some more. But pity parties are a cruel way to entertain, for they leave behind a deeper emptiness than we started with in the first place."
Dean Anderson has some wonderful SP articles on this same topic.
Philippians 4:8 is where our minds are to dwell and thrive!