HEIDIJO150   10,382
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HEIDIJO150's Recent Blog Entries

New goal to work towards

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Well it has been over a month since I've been on Spark. I let life get in the way and just quit trying. Thankfully!!! I have not gained any weight during that month or so. I'm still at 256.

Yesterday I started working towards getting back on track. I got my water in and was much more aware of what I ate. Today I skipped the 32 oz fountain diet coke on the way to work! Woohoo! I drink way too much pop so I'm working on cutting down.

Anyway, I have a new goal to work towards. My hubby and I finally picked a "date" for when we will start trying for kids. If I am under 200 lbs by the end of July 2014, we will start trying for kids. My goal is to be at 180 by then.

I've got just under 80 lbs to lose to reach my goal. I've lost about 20 lbs so far. All I need to do is lose 20 lbs four more times! I can do it. I did it once I can definitely do it again.

Woohoo! Here's to having babies in the near future!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAO_27 12/4/2013 10:57AM

    So glad you're back on SP! What a wonderful goal, sounds like a truly motivating one. Can't wait to see how you progress! emoticon

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SUZIPAM1 12/3/2013 12:21PM

    yay to babies

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Working on me

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

I've been pretty flaky when it comes to my weight loss lately. I'm really struggling to stay within my calorie range. I'm not giving up though. I did much better today and I got some exercise in.

Something I'm really focusing on that's not weight related is my insecurity. I didn't realize how insecure I really am. A lot of it is weight related and its affecting my relationship with my husband.

I do a lot of negative self talk and its starting to wear on me emotionally. I don't think I'm good enough. I think my husband deserves a prettier and thinner wife. Its really stupid but I just expect him to change his mind at any minute and decide he can find someone better.

The part that's really dumb about it is that I know my husband loves me. He definitely isn't planning on leaving me because I'm not thin. I've been this way our entire relationship.

The things I tell myself are not true in anyway, but I continue to think them. All these negative thoughts about myself are causing me to be extremely needy and emotional. I'm surprised I haven't driven my hubby up the wall. I was getting jealous and suspicious when I have absolutely no reason to be. I don't like being this way.

So I've been doing a lot of praying. I'm also working on being more confident and when I start having thoughts that are negative I tell myself they aren't true. It is such a struggle, but I know I can work past it. I tried to explain everything to my husband but I'm not sure he understands.

He can't see why I let myself think negative thoughts that are untrue. Its simple to him. All those things I think aren't true so just stop thinking them.... If only it were that easy. lol

It's getting better though, I think just realizing what my problem was has helped tons.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZEMARIE73 11/5/2013 11:59AM

    I can totally relate. My husband tells me all the time that he thinks I'm sexy. I'm always reacting like "what are you thinking?! I'm so gross!" And he is constantly trying to get me to not think so negatively about myself. On the flip side, he does support my goals. If it weren't for him, I'd probably never make it to the gym....

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MLLEMINOU 10/31/2013 8:15PM

    Wow, I'm not married, but I totally understand what you mean about feeling insecure and not having much confidence in yourself. I try to tell myself if I have the Holy Spirit in me, and I trust in God, then I should trust in myself because He is in me. But it doesn't work "in those moments" when I'm crying. I've read so many books on negative thinking (Battlefield of the Mind - Joyce Meyer is really good!) but if you don't mind me asking, how do you work on increasing you self-confidence? I'm trying and trying and it just ain't working - thought exercising would increase it, getting healthier, etc...my body hasn't changed much :(

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PROUDNM1987 10/29/2013 9:59PM

    I have been in those shoes!!!! I have always been a very insecure person!I feel like people will look at my husband and think he could have done better than me! I have an absolutely wonderful husband that has never ever put me down for my weight or anything for that matter! I just think some of us are more susceptible to the way society has taught us that we are all suppose to look like Barbie and if we don't then there is something wrong with us! Well I/ emoticon we may never be Barbie and that is good!! We are real women and we are on the right track because we are here on SP with all these great people who will encourage us! I can tell you that this healthy lifestyle has helped the way I feel about myself a lot and I hope it helps you too!!

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PJ2222 10/29/2013 9:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Thinking about starting a blog

Thursday, October 17, 2013

I've been thinking about starting my own blog, separate from what I write here on Spark. I really enjoy writing and even though you might not be able to tell from my posts here I'm actually a very good writer.

I've kind of gotten lazy in my old age of 24 and don't spend much time on my spark blogs, so that aren't always well written or interesting... I actually had a story published in a book that a local college put out when I was in 1st grade. In high school I was encouraged by a creative writing teacher to write more and submit to magazines and things to be published but I never did. I think I just never felt like I was really good enough. I was kind of embarrassed to have people read stuff because I was afraid of criticism or that they would think it was dumb.

Anyway, back on track. So I want to start a blog and I know what I want to write about but I'm completely lost for a name. My blog will pretty much just be focused on my life and how I'm working to be a better me. I want to tell people things I wish people had told me. I want to share the things I'm learning as a wife. I want to encourage others as I struggle on my weight loss journey.

I do plan to keep my blog pretty anonymous for now. My husband doesn't really like the idea of sharing a lot of personal info on the internet (he'd probably choke if he saw some of my Spark blogs and I'm learning to not over share or at the very least leave other people and specifics out of my blogs). That means I want to avoid my real name for now and I don't plan on putting pictures of myself or my hubby on my blog.

I'm trying to find a name that fits me. I want it to be relatively short, two to three words. It needs to describe what I want to write about.

I'm thinking about going by Mrs D. (for Dan) or Jo (my middle name and nickname). I could then refer to my husband as Mr D or Mr Jo or just the generic hubby or husband or whatever.

So I thought about using Mrs D or Jo in the title but I'm at a loss for what to put with it. I thought about Mrs. D Does. But its kind of like do you mean "does" like "doing" or "does" like "multiple female deer"?? emoticon

Maybe using life or lives but it feels too generic.
Mrs D Does Life?
UndercookedandOverconfident (my first attempt at a roast for hubby was very sad)
JoKnowsNothing
MrDSuffers (due to my attempts to cook and be a good wifey... lol)

I don't know. I'm stumped and now I'm just being silly with my ideas.

My favorite food is pickles, maybe I should work that in. Lifeisapickle? Then I could go by Mrs. Dill and my hubby could be Bread and Butter (B&B for short) and when we have a baby it can be BabyDill. emoticon

I think I should probably stop writing now... emoticon I'm feeling kind of crazy!

Anyway if you have any suggestions for names feel free to comment. I'd appreciate all the help I can get.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMLUVSCOFFEE 10/23/2013 10:07PM

    If you start a blog I want to be a follower!

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SCRIPTEDFLIGHT 10/17/2013 11:58PM

    Haha Baby Dill - that is cute!

I can tell you are a good writer because you use "Anyway" instead of "Anyways", lol. I'm in a similar boat to you, actually. I really enjoyed writing when I was younger and I was always pretty good at it. I wrote for our newsletter in university. But I never thought much of it and just didn't invest any time into it. Recently I've started to realize how much I love writing and that it suits me, so I'm trying to make a habit of writing more.

I really liked the: UndercookedandOverconfident or Lifeisapickle

I think the pickle is my favourite... emoticon

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My Motivation Poster

Monday, October 14, 2013

Here's my board:


Some things I included on my board.

A list of goals
Reasons to meet my goals
An unflattering picture of me, yuck
A picture of my hubby because he is a big reason I want to change
A picture I took off of Jen'sFitJourney's page because she is amazing and a big motivator and I need the reminder that if someone else can do it I can do it too.
A picture of the Bella Twins from WWE because they have rockin' bodies.
And a few quotes that I really like.

It's sitting in the window of my kitchen and I think that's a good spot for it. Especially since food is my biggest struggle right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADF1981 10/16/2013 3:45PM

    Great job! I keep saying I need to make one of these collages.

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SCRIPTEDFLIGHT 10/15/2013 5:31PM

    emoticon emoticon

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RMROSS10 10/15/2013 8:53AM

    You did a phenomenal job with that! Actually gets me motivated to try this goal out! emoticon

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MSGO72 10/14/2013 11:07PM

  emoticon

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CR_EDWARDS_2015 10/14/2013 10:58PM

    That is an awesome idea! I am thinking I will make one of these for myself!

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PROUDNM1987 10/14/2013 10:23PM

    I like that!! emoticon

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DELIA38961 10/14/2013 10:06PM

    emoticon

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The Plan for the Weekend

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

So I've been thinking about my last blog post and I've decided to just focus on a couple things this weekend.

#1 Drink my water

#2 Squats and wall pushups when I go to the bathroom

#3 A short walk each day

I think these three things will be easy to do while I'm away on my ladies weekend. I'm not going to stress about calories, although I'm going to try to keep it reasonable and not snack 24/7.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALLMESALLYG 10/9/2013 10:16PM

    You got this! Have a fantastic weekend Heidi! :)

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