Thursday, October 23, 2014
I have heard the phrase "Give it to God" a lot lately. I recently finished an IV solumedrol steroid treatment for MS. This led to desiring food and giving in to those desires. The people who used the phrase "Give it to God" did not use it in reference to my weight. It was actually in reference to other situations that were not mine. But, these 4 simple words made an impact in my brain and brought back memories. There once was a time that I lived this way. I gave every task, worry, concern, goal to my Heavenly Father. I can't remember when I have done that in the last 10 years! Surely, I have?
Yes, that is me with my wonderfully supportive son. I am taking a HUGE step by putting this picture on here. I loathe pictures of myself. I have decided, after much prayer, that I am going to periodically post pictures of me. More accountability for me
I'm Giving "it" to God! I'm giving Him everything! I'm giving Him the battle I have been trying to fight on my own. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil4:13
Sunday, March 09, 2014
Have any of you watched "How I Met Your Mother"? Do you remember the "Woohoo" girls? I have a group of moms that once a month go out and have dinner. We discuss life, celebrate bdays, celebrate babies, celebrate weddings, celebrate our friendship.
We had a great time last night! The funny thing was we became the "Woohoo" girls!
We all know that we have things in our lives that do not make us happy or content. If we were perfectly honest with one another, we would have probably been the "Boohoo" girls. But, I discovered something about myself last night, and continuing into today. I have been looking to everyone else for confirmation on myself. I especially look to my husband to build me up. It doesn't happen. Then I get sad. I used to drown my hurt/anger in food. But, last night and today, I am reminded that God is the one who builds me up!
God is the One who gives me the confidence I need. I even have not felt the urge to drown my hurt in food!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!
This is a milestone!!!!!! I praise God for this!!!! I am beautiful to the One who matters most! And, I am glorifying Him more and more with my body. The weight and inches are coming off! The disease is not kicking me in the rear!!!! God is my Strength and my Song!!!!!!
So, I've thrown down the chains of dependence on others for my self-confidence. I walk in the liberty of knowing who I am in Christ!!!!
Friday, March 07, 2014
Sounds insane, "Fear of Success"? Last night as I was doing yoga and was in a particular pose, I wanted to cry. Not just shed a few tears, but boohoo!!! And, I knew EXACTLY why! I am afraid that when the weight comes off, AND IT WILL, I will find out that my weight isn't what messes up things. The "things" I am referring to are the Multiple Sclerosis.
And, I am referring to my husband's desire for me. I haven't felt "sexy" in a long time. I try to make myself seem sexy even though I know the weight puts a big damper on it. Since I have started losing weight and toning my body, I have felt sexier. But, I still feel like he sees me as someone he has to "take care of." That fear broke through last night.
Yet, I know that God showed me that fear last night so I can address it within myself and release it to Him. I am in a cocoon right now. I am changing into something different on the outside. At the same time, God is working on my inside to bring me through to a place where I am secure in my marriage and secure in knowing that MS is NOT in control of my life. I know this is not an unusual fear for ppl who have a lot of weight to lose. I am so thankful for SP because I can find ppl who are facing similar fears and challenges, and we can encourage one another!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
(In case anyone is wondering, this blog keeps my hands busy and not eating when I am wanting to much mindlessly )
Yesterday, I began the story of Gabriel, my hubs, and me beginning the journey into health issues. I was very fit. I had wondered why there were times when I was so fatigued, dizzy, dragging a leg, etc. After the night of my bday and us all crying because I could not get out of the truck (see Dog Blog 3.) I ended up in the hospital and being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The Transverse Myelitis was secondary to the MS.
My hubs and I began to notice that Gabriel was VERY aware of how I felt. He would sniff my legs and then he began to circle me and whine. He did this when I was overdoing it. In the beginning of the diagnosis, I was learning my limits. I went from no mobility to trying to go back to what I once did. That wasn't the way to do it. So, Gabriel let me know, "Stop it, Mom! And, Sit down!"
But, Gabriel also provided comic relief. When things got really frustrating and down, he would do something that was totally unexpected. For instance, one night we were asleep and awoke to the sound of wrestling on tv. Gabriel had turned on the tv in the den??? Then one night we came home. I was really weak, but we couldn't figure out the strange light in the den. Gabriel had turned the tv on again and was watching Mr. Holland's Opus! He had a variety of tastes...LOL!!!!
More to come........
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
I have thought a lot about Gabriel (I wrote about him in Dog blogs 1 & 2) He passed 3 years ago today. But so much story to tell about our 14 years with Gabriel.
My hubs asked me to marry him in the Summer of 1998. We had a great Summer. We loved to take Gabriel for walks and hikes. One hot August morning we were walking in the neighborhood and all of a sudden, both of my big toes had a sharp pain and then went numb. I blamed my shoes and kept walking. We continued to go on our hikes and walks with Gabriel. And, I continued to teach aerobics and yoga at the YMCA. But, during the month of August the numbness spread up my legs and up my lower torso. By the beginning of Sept. I was diagnosed with Transvere Myelitis. I had no weakness at that point but it was a weird feeling to not tell hot or cold.
Gabriel was patient with me, and he kept smelling my legs. Then, on the night of my birthday, I couldn't move my legs to get out of my hubs truck. I started crying, he started crying, and Gabriel started whining. We knew there was something VERY wrong. Over the course of the next week my mobility was gone. But, Gabriel was faithfully by my side.
More to come......
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