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HEALTHYGIRL70's Recent Blog Entries

Put all excuses aside and remember this: YOU ARE CAPABLE!!

Monday, January 07, 2013

Day 7 of "new year, new me" and I am doing great. I have managed to stay within calorie range for the past week!!! I am eating a lot more vegetables, which I am not a fan, but they are actually not that bad when you try them different ways, like roasting, grilled, steamed, etc. Today I added another step in my process, I went to the gym and did 25 minutes on the treadmill!!! I always tell myself that I will do it tomorrow - well today no more excuses, my tomorrow came!! I am taking it day by day and it is going better than before; instead of looking ahead and taking it day by day I am not as overwhelmed...I know I have a long road ahead of me...but reality-I didn't gain my weight overnight, I am not going to lose it overnight!! So as I put this day behind me and reflect on all of the positive things that happpened in my life today...I wish you all the best of luck too!! Happy weight loss!!

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Everyday is a new beginning, take a deep breath and start again.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Here I am January 1, 2013 and what is going to be different this year then the years past? I am taking it one day at a time, and I am taking control of MY life for ME. I am the type of person that has spent my whole life doing for others, trying to make people like me, being a people pleaser and it has gotten me walked on, disrespected, treated like crap, and taken for granted, and most importantly, I became disgusted and miserable with the life I have and with myself. NO MORE today is my new beginning, today is the day that I take a deep breath and start again. No more being a doormat and allowing people to treat me so horribly, I set the tone, and by allowing myself to be treated this way it has taken it's tole on my health. I have been so busy taking care of everyone else, that I quit taking care of myself.

Today I accept responsibility for allowing others to treat me the way that I have let them my whole life, I accept that not everyone is going to like me, and I am going to have to accept that. This next year will be a learning exerience for me. I need to learn how to relax, learn how to let things go, take time for myself, but most importantly, I need to put myself first.

Here are my 2013 goals:

1) Hit my goal weight by eating within calorie range and excercise consistently (Starting out with 20 minutes 3 times a week working up to an hour 6 times a week)
2) Be more positive - eliminate the self hate and negative talk
3) Stay more organized in my life - keep up on house and laundry
4) Quit hiding away from like and loved ones in my bedroom
5) Take care of my body - take pride in how I look
5) Blog and journal - getting everything out on paper/blog to release the stress daily

So I wish you all a very Happy New Year!! I hope you all succeed in your resolutions in the coming year, and getting to know you and have your support.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEAUTIFUL_REINA 1/1/2013 8:05PM

    Happy new year, and good luck with your plans!!

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PDSLIM 1/1/2013 5:59PM

    nice list. good luck

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PFARRAR65 1/1/2013 5:51PM

    Congratulations on your goals. If I may I would also add DO NOT BEAT UP IF YOU STUMBLE. You can do it. emoticon

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A year later...what has changed??? My attitude!!!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Here I am a year later, 10 pounds lighter, stressed to the limits. What is different for me from this time last year? My attitude...no more pity parties. I have done some serious soul searching and finding out who I am. It has been tough, and at times painful, but really worth it!! I have to learn to be more patient with myself, I didn't gain the weight overnight, it is not going to come off overnight, my problem over the years...I set too many goals at once, set myself up for failure, and when I slip, I tell myself "tomorrow I will start over, tomorrow I will get back on track", problem is tomorrow never comes!! Until now...I am setting 4 mini goals to achieve in week 1, and each week add 1 more goal. I will exercise, starting slow, doing cardio, and work my way up to strength training and cardio by week 5. I will journal daily and blog weekly, I will try to find people that are struggling or have struggled like myself, and ask them to help me, be my support to stay on track and accoountable. I know I can do this, the difference now, I am no longer going through the motions, I am going to do it!!! I am no longer my worst enemy, I am learning to live again, and like myself again along the way. Bring it on, look out world here comes the new improved me... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELIEVING-N-ME 12/30/2011 9:07AM

    Great blog! Congrats! on the 10 pound weight loss. You seem to have the right attitude. emoticon

I really like the mini goals; think that I might try this.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

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PAMSPARKS 11/27/2011 8:27PM

    Congrats on the 10 pounds down! And kudos on setting some mini goals. I have been stuck on what seems like a never-ending plateau - I like the mini goal concept and think I will try it out. Thank you for sharing! Best of luck on your fitness journey.

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BELLE0308 11/27/2011 3:58PM

    What a great blog!! I am glad to see how you are using the right attitude and moving forward. What an inspiration!
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REDROSEMARIE 11/27/2011 12:58PM

    Attitude is very important part of a healthy life style. You have found a great way to turn it around. Congratulations!
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EMMALEIGHB 11/27/2011 11:39AM

    Keep it up! You got this emoticon

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PETERMCKIRDY 11/27/2011 11:35AM

    Sounds like you are pumped up. Keep up the great attitude. You are on the right track! emoticon

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How am I staying focused when I feel my world is falling apart???

Monday, November 29, 2010

In the past when stressful things would happen I would turn to my love affair with food. I find anything and everything there is to eat, lock myself in my room, and shut out the world, and eat until I am so miserable I can't function. Then feel like crap because I overate, tell myself I will NEVER do that again, until the next time, and the cycle starts all over again.

Two weeks ago my daughter told me some news that made me want to grab her, run away, and start our lives over, she is pregnant, just turned 18, a senior in high school with her whole life ahead of her, and she is pregnant. Instead of going back to my typical way of dealing with stress, emotional eating, I came at it from a different approach. I hit the gym, I hate working out, let me rephrase that, I don't hate working out, I actually love it, it's getting going to start working out, whether it be going to the gym, popping in a workout dvd, or going for a walk that I hate. Once I am actually working out, I feel great, I am pumped up, I feel good about it, and it relieves so much of my stress...so that is what I am doing.



I am still trying to get a grip on what has happened, all day long I am consumed by trying to figure out where I went wrong, how could this happen to MY daughter, I raised her better than this. She is 18 years old for God's sake, she is just starting her life, a baby herself and she is having a baby. It has been 19 days since I found out, I have been to the gym everyday, sometimes twice a day, to release the tension and clear my head. I am devastated, but have realized that this is not about me, this is about my daughter. I have raised my kids, she made her choices and now has to accept and live with what happens. I need to take care of me!!! No more putting my life and health on hold for others, from now on I am putting myself and my health at the top of the list...I will continue my fight against obesity...and win:) For the first time I really believe in me and my ability to beat this love affair I have with food. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYGIRL70 11/29/2010 7:51PM

    Thank all of you for your support!!! My daughter is doing great right now...or as good as can be expected. She moved in with her boyfriend and his mom on her birthday, 3 days before she told me. For the past 2 weeks I have taken time off of work to take her to get signed up for Medical, a program called WIC, and the Teen Pregnancy Center, a school for girls to stay in school durin their pregnancy that also teaches them how to be a mom :)

She knows that my fiance and I are disappointed in her, and while we do not like the boyfriend, (18, no job, still trying to graduate a year after he should have), we have told her how we feel, but also let her know that the door is open if she ever wants of needs to come back, WITHOUT the boyfriend of course. We told her we will help her get to her job, doctor's appts, etc. and once the baby comes we will help her with watching baby as long as it is something involved in bettering herself, and we are able to...like she has to work, or has class, etc and we are not busy. We also told her that we would not be watching the baby so she could go and party or hang out with friends and her boyfriend.

I have kept my distance, still trying to remain calm as I want to strangle her boyfriend and his mom up by their toes, and she calls or texts me if she needs to. She actually called me "just to talk" Saturday!! I love both of my kids, I also have a 20 year old son, I am 40, so watching my daughter make the same choices I made at her age is hard, NOT because I think she is an idiot, but because I know first hand the struggles she is about to have, because I lived them!!

She will be ok, and she will survive, I did, and she is my daughter!! lol

Thank you for stopping by, thank you for your support, this blogging and working out is amazing! It releases so much of the stress, resentments, and anger...and it is soooo much cheaper than a therapist!! Have a great rest of the day all...I will blog tomorrow emoticon

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HDMARTIN88 11/29/2010 7:31PM

    I know it seems that your world is falling apart, but it's not. I know how difficult that news is to deliver as I was an 18 year old having to tell her mom and grandparents that I was pregnant. Let me offer some advice of what I would have liked to have happen with my mother (feel free to ignore it, lol).

My mother caused me to have an extremely stressful pregnancy. So much so that by 6 weeks of pregnancy I was in the hospital dehydrated from vomiting. There was not a minute of my day that my mom did not ride me, harass me, yell at me, guilt me, try to force me to break up with my boyfriend, try to make me marry my boyfriend. It was constant. This continued until I was hospitalized at 5 months of pregnancy in premature labor due to vomiting so much. By 5 months I had already lost 4 jean sizes. I couldn't eat anything. The best moment of that time was when my Dr looked at my mom and said, You need to stop. You can't keep doing this to her, you have plenty of time to fight with her but you need to leave her alone now.

I ended up having my son at 7 months of pregnancy. They found out that all the throwing up I had done due to stress had actually tore my placenta which was what caused me so many problems. I went from wearing a size 12 pre-pregnancy to a size 5 when I came home from the hospital without my baby.

I am a good mother, I work hard making sure that I prove that having my son young was not damaging. I have a good career, I am 6 months from a college degree and my son learned that you work hard for the things you want. My mother has a good relationship with my son. I have a good life and my son has been raised in a wonderful life!

The difference between my life (I had graduated when I had my son) & my friend who had twins her senior year? Her mom & dad supported her. They encouraged her to go to college after graduation & live at home with the babies. When my friend got discouraged about how hard it was, her mom would take her and the girls shopping. Then she would pick up something for the babies and say, if you quit school, you won't be able to afford this. They helped her work through so she graduated 3 years after giving birth and was a RN, and she too has a wonderful life.

So, please know that your daughter being pregnant is no reflection of the way she was raised. This has nothing to do with you doing something wrong. And eventually, once you get over the shock of how could this happen to my daughter, you'll go back to being the supportive mother that your very scared daughter needs right now. Sorry this is so long, and please don't think I'm judging you or your reaction. It's completely understandable! And congratulations for not falling back into the cycle again. I've started learning how to use exercise as my escape too!

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MISSYBLONDEONE 11/29/2010 7:26PM

    I can't imagine how difficult this is for both you and your daughter. My daughter is 17 and I am thankful that so far she's abstained but I realize that it only takes that one time.

Please make sure your daughter knows that becoming a mom doesn't mean the end of her life. I had my children young and I didn't return to school until I was nearly 30 because I didn't know any better. She can still go to college. She can still pursue her dreams; she'll just have to work a bit harder than other girls her age and be more responsible. There's a lot more aid available for single young mothers in the form of Pell Grants and other programs.

I wish you all the best. I hope everything works out for you and your family.

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LOSERGUURL 11/29/2010 7:23PM

    How's your daughter doing? You have a new family member coming! Hang in there-your work outs are a great way to blow the stress off from this situation. I know it's hard now but support your baby so she can support hers will be a decision you won't regret. You can't blame yourself and maybe the upbringing you gave her will contribute to her making better choices moving forward including being a great mom to this new little person coming in the world.

Comment edited on: 11/29/2010 7:40:55 PM

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The Beginning...How I got here

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I was always active growing up, I played softball in the spring/summer and basketball in the winter. I was a tall and very skinny child, adolescent, and teenager. My mom always struggled with her weight but I never thought a thing about it back then, I was a kid, what did the fact that my mom was “fat” matter to me? I was skinny, so it wasn’t an issue for me, as a matter of fact when I look back I remember thinking I will never be big like my mom, because I am not lazy. How wrong was that?

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about people that are overweight/obese is that we are just fat and lazy. We don’t take into account that the person might be suffering from something else, like depression, eating disorders such as compulsive eating, binge eating, or emotional eating, thyroid issues, diabetes, etc.

I got pregnant at the age of 19, I was 110 pounds the day I found out I was pregnant with my son, he is now 20. I had a very normal pregnancy, but did gain 58 pounds. I weighed 168 pounds the day I gave birth to him, and never in my life had I even been in a situation like this, I felt like a pig, and my then husband was not very nice about it, he would tell me how fat and gross I was all of the time…this kind of verbal abuse did make me self-conscious, and this is where the weight struggles began for me. I was 20. It took me about 8 months to lose the weight, however, I never made it back to 110 pounds I had my daughter 2 years after I had my son. With her it was a completely different pregnancy, I was sick a lot and lost more weight than I gained throughout my pregnancy. I was 132 when I got pregnant with her, and weighed 114 the day I brought her home from the hospital. I was the “girl” I hated after I had my son, I was one of the few women that actually fit into my jeans after giving birth!!! I was 22 and did not have weight issues for the next 8 years.

In 2000 life took a toll on me. I lost my job, we found out my grandpa had cancer, and I started dating a guy that I had spent time with before I had kids. My grandpa lost his battle with cancer in August of that year, and we buried him the day before my birthday. I was always really close to my grandpa growing up, but had lost touch with him as I got older, so I carried a lot of guilt for not being there with him toward the end. I spent 3 1/2 years with the guy, and in 2003 left him after he assaulted my son. I had gained about 70 pounds in the 3 years I was with him and this is when my weight problems really started. I would eat whether I was hungry or not, I was in a very dark and lonely place in my life and didn’t have anyone, I felt very alone, and fed my emotions with food instead of dealing with the turmoil going on inside of me.

After my ex assaulted my son, I left him, and I NEVER looked back. I decided then and there that I was done dating. I had spent almost 15 years in and out of abusive relationships, I needed to do some sould searching and changes, and most important, be a mom to my children. I spent the next 4 years alone, raising my kids. I worked 2-3 jobs at a time to make ends meet, I received no financial support from my ex husband. We spent a lot of time eating fast food on the go or quick meals like frozen pizzas, tv dinners, hamburger helper, etc. because it was cheap and quick.

In 2006, life hit the fan again for me. In February of that year my mom had an aneurysm rupture in her brain and we almost lost her, (she survived and is living a normal life now). In May of that year my brother and his now wife, decided to get married in Hawaii, my other brother and his wife paid for me to go with so that I could help take care of mom. It was beautiful there, beautiful wedding, and the state is all around just beautiful. When we got back from Hawaii, about 2 months later I was at my sister’s house, she had just gotten the pictures she had purchased from my brother’s wedding, when I saw them I about died, who was that fat, gross person staring back at me? What happened to me? When did I get this fat? How did I get this fat? I went home a cried that night. I had somehow reached almost 270 pounds…

I started walking and joined LA weightloss to try to lose some of the weight. I bought, hydroxycut, and every other otc diet pill that they had to try to lose this weight. I lost about 50 pounds and was feeling pretty good. In March of 2007 my kids told me it was time for me to start dating again, that they were ok, and getting older, and it was time for me to try again. I had spent 4 years alone, raising my kids, learning that I didn’t need a relationship to make me a whole person, that it was ok to be alone. The scariest thing ever was putting myself back out there, and I was still heavy!!

I joined e-harmony and was reconnected with my very first boyfriend. I weighed 212 and he didn’t care, we started dating in April of that year and have been together ever since. I lost 97 pounds from 2007 until 2009 and felt great!!!! In July of this year I went to see the doctor because I was tired all of the time, and my legs were going numb…I was given some pretty harsh, but real diagnosis. I had gained 40 pounds back i the past year, my body did not like it and was letting me know. I needed to start eating healthier and get active or I was going to die within the next 5 years. When my mom’s aneurysm ruptured, the doctor told my siblings and I that because our grandpa had them and now our mom, that we needed to get tested because they are hereditary…I have them, and with being overweight, it puts pressure on your arteries and organs, I could die if I didn’t make some serious changes IMMEDIATELTY!!!!

I started walking and watching what I ate, weighing and measuring my portions, increased my water intake, switched to whole grain breads, etc. I was going to lose this weight for good this time!!!! Not as easy as I want it to be!! First off, how lonely it is…you look around and see plenty of overweight and obese people, but never think that they are feeling the same things you are. How scared it is to be in this place, to be the one that people are laughing at and making fun of…YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!! I have lost 20 pounds, I still have a long way to go, but I will get there one day at a time. I have made a committment to myself, and am here to help others win this fight too!!! You are NOT alone…join me and let’s do this together!!!! Today was day 1…join me in my journey:)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ICANTODAY 11/28/2010 1:15PM

    Welcome to SP. You can do it!

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HEALTHYGIRL70 11/28/2010 1:01PM

    Thank you both for your support and encouragement...and Amazonphx remember you are never alone!!! That is the hardest thing about this weightloss/lifestyle change journey we embark on is that we feel alone!!! I am here to help if you need

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AMAZONPHX 11/28/2010 12:57PM

    What an inspiring story! So nice to hear I'm not alone, I feel very alone! Congrats on your determination!!! You can do it!! emoticon

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SWISHSTARNAN 11/28/2010 12:42PM

  Welcome! It's a huge step to share your story, so thank you for that. You can do it!

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